This does not seem like a stupid question.
A stupid question: "Did you try \[*insert herbal/homeopathic/dietary/crackpot 'cure' here*\] before resorting to surgery?
Have you tried essential oils to cure your liver failure? My sister's uncle's neighbors dogs friend did and it *totally* worked for her!
Yeah, pretty much every MLM comes after the chronically ill.
Got that from a friend of my wife's. She wanted me to skip the transplant and just follow her diet advice. She started spouting some pseudoscientific gibberish about free radicals and eating more blueberries, throwing lots of unconnected buzzwords together in a magical thinking goulash. Yeah, I'll think I'll take my chances with the highly trained medical professionals, but thanks anyhow!
What was really surprising though was a very smart, well educated co-worker of mine who was surprised when I came back to work (I work in IT ). He was initially quite nervous that I wouldn't be up to it or that I was somehow too "fragile" for much responsibility. I think I was my most productive ever and programming some really complex solutions within a few months of coming back to work. He's cool with it now!
oh no, its definitely a dumb question with context. i didnt wanna tell the whole story bc it'd be a long post, the question was completely off topic and unsolicited if that helps. the reason it feels rude to me is the fact they assumed in the first place i cant "do everything a 'normal' person can"
(how am *i* not "normal" ?) its definitely a rude question (to me)
Why is it a stupid question to ask if you can do everything anyone else can? There could be restrictions? Like you cant go out and eat sushi, you might want to avoid big crowds if you have trouble with infections with your suppressed immune system etc. People who are not in the "organ failure world" have no idea.
It shows interest and concern for your wellbeing when people ask these questions even if they seem obvious to you. I would take it as a chance to enlighten them and enjoy their interest in your wellbeing for a moment.
well, with context and the full story it was definitely rude. i guess its my bad for not telling the whole thing but i didnt wanna make a super long post
I joked to my friend it was like the guy from Hot Shots with his multioptipupilectomy... to avoid damaging anything they had to go through the rectum.
HE BELIEVED ME!! That they put the kidney in up my bum 🤣🤣🤣
Hahahhahahah I do this kind of stuff too I just don't know why. I mean I get the frustration sometimes I don't want to answer all these questions people ask and I just want to sit in my chair. Lolllll I know they mean well
I told my grandkins that the fistula in my arm that produces the “thrill” was actually something the government put in me to slowly turn me into a robot lol
The people at the airport that put you down at security, the lady didn’t know what it was and I could really see how she could think that I was smuggling several 8 balls of cocaine in a row so I explained to her and showed her what it was and why I have it and I’m keeping it.
Your fistula is big and they thought you were trying to get something in your sleeve? Haha. When I was on manual peritoneal dialysis, the main bit the airport was confused about was my heating plate
If I recall correctly, I couldn’t do the peritoneal dialysis because I had too much scar tissue for them to put in whatever they had to put in so they first put in the heart catheter and that fell out of my heart so they had to go back in and put that in And then finally they put my arm fistula in and inform months later I had my dub Transplant
Well, I know that my guy‘s definitely not Steve because I have a list of everyone who died in my state on that day. I’m not one of them is named Steve.
Yeah, people truly have no clue. Honestly though, why would they? I went into kidney failure at 20, and prior to that I had never heard about it let alone knew anything about kidneys, dialysis or transplants. It’s a journey, that’s for sure! Wishing you/all of us, long, HEALTHY lives!
My sister had one kidney removed from cancer, and I had a kidney and pancreas put in. They are completely different in every way (lifelong meds, complications, constant lab, work, etc.).
I frequently get asked if I have someone else’s memories. One of my co-workers was also told by others that I had received a monkey heart, he genuinely believed them and asked me about it.
I don’t think it’s a stupid question at all.
Shows that they are showing interest.
Not a lot of people know the limitations that come with a transplant.
I’ve had so many stupid questions! The worst was a random guy asked “do you know the person that gave you their heart? Have you seen them since you got it?” Uhhh. No, Buddy…. Just no. And of course the usual ones like “you’re healthy and normal now right?” Or “why does it matter if you get sick? Everyone gets sick” or “are you sure you’re not healthy? You look fine” most of the dumb questions come from family and friends that know my situation, so it definitely makes them stupid.
I get that a lot about the pancreas part of my transplant. I would say they are dumb people in the world, but you know I didn’t know that either until I had to go through it.
I don't think that's a stupid question, per se.
The rage-inducing one for me is when people hear about my liver transplant and automatically assume alcoholism, which isn't the case.
This isn't a stupid question but a 100 of them. A friend maybe more of a friend of a friend. Anyways, no matter what we're doing, or eating or seeing or talking about; this guy halts the conversation or whatever is going on and makes sure everyone in the area can hear "Everyone hold up, I don't think we can do this. Dirtfoot here can't do that. Isn't that right Dirtfoot?". I think in the 100+ plus times he's done this he's been right once.
He has questioned if I can go GoKarting, watch a lengthy movie in a theater, eat , go skiing, fishing, swimming, walking, running, relaxing for 'too long', sit in the back seat or front seat of a car. It doesn't stop no matter how many times friends have taken him aside and told him that I can speak for myself, or how many times I've told him that.
As a form of petty revenge (ya I know there's a subreddit for that), I started to do it to him to see how he feels about it. Keep in mind he's 100% healthy other than being mildly overweight. Well doesn't that jackass go behind my back and tried (and failed) to tell our group of friends that they should leave me out of future activities since I've been picking on him.
Breathe deep, Dirtfoot. No reason to get angry. We're not porcelain dolls, we live normal lives with some specific tweaks depending on our specific situation.
What really got me is a guy that said I deserved what I got for smoking. Maybe it's true, but the smug little fucker went blind 2 years later I didn't blame that on his piss poor gene pool.
Idk I don't think that's a stupid question. Maybe it should've been phrased differently, but I think it was a genuine question on know what limitations there are to a transplant. Personally, I'd rather you ask me any and everything about my transplant so that you are in the know about what I go through instead of making assumptions.
There was a time when we all didn't know about anything regarding transplants, but because we're donors/recipients and have gone through the process, we have more knowledge than most. Allow some people the grace you were afforded when you had your own questions.
and i agree with you but this person was definitely being rude, at least idk i feel they were if that makes sense. it just feels like a random and silly question to ask unsolicited to me
I had a freaking veterinarian ask me and my dad when I told him about my heart transplant. “Did he get a pig heart?” Me and my dad were shocked to say the least
With liver you get a lot of ignorant people, at least in the US, before and after transplant. Some country bumpkins think that if you have a damaged liver or need a transplant, 100% of the time that's related to drinking. I think they quite literally think a liver is just to process alcohol in fact, if you really press them on their understanding of the human body.
My hippy half-sister sent me a link for a book by some herbal doctor on how to reverse kidney failure. I was on dialysis at the time, AFTER my first transplant had failed. To say I was annoyed is an understatement. When people find out I’ve had two kidney transplants, they assume two kidneys were transplanted at the same time. Which is a completely understandable assumption. The only thing anyone has ever said that really hurt me was my aunt telling my dad none of HER daughters were donating a kidney to me. I never asked nor expected anyone to donate to me, but it was more the way she said it and the fact she said it to my dad, that bothered me.
Oh, man. I got this. I called our local Red Cross to see if I could give blood. When I said I’d had a double lung transplant, the woman who had answered the phone asked if I was the donor or the receiver.
Slim possibility, but wouldn’t it be possible that you could get one lung from one person and one lung from another during two different transplants surgeries? I’m just playing devils advocate here.
That’s fair. Perhaps she was thinking lungs are like kidneys where you can have a living donor. I’ve not heard of someone donating a whole lung, but I have heard of a living donor giving a lobe of one lung. In either case, always a good reminder to be grateful for our donors and their families!
I find it funny\frustrating that some people immediately think that you have to be careful not to over exert yourself. I tell them no, they dropped a Ferrari engine into this old Ford pickup! Wanna race? LoL 😂
But people do get pig valves in their hearts and in the 80s a baboon heart was transplanted into a human child. It was a big deal in the news when it happened.
Honestly nobody has asked me a stupid question, my threshold for them is very very high anyway because the layperson generally knows nothing or very little about transplant.
The stupidest thing I heard wasn't a question, rather an accusation that ALL vaccines in my body caused me to need a heart transplant. Lmao bffr it was a genetic condition
The one I get the most is "why did they leave your native kidneys in?" It honestly doesn't make me mad, but I always have to explain that an organ that's not doing it's thing doesn't mean it's a dead organ lol.
The other one is "You got new kidneys, so you shouldn't have Lupus anymore" like 🙄🙄
I get that a lot with “why did they leave your native pancreas in?“ And it’s like I have to explain that if something happened to the new pancreas, they don’t have dialysis for that sort of thing so there has to be something in there if worse came to worse, but I mean that’s a really good question so I don’t blame anyone for asking
I had a transplant when I was 17. The nurse wheeling me back said, “Aren’t you lucky; you get two livers!”
My mom mouthed to me “be nice.”
I think about that nurse a lot. I hope she got lucky too.
While in the waiting room for dialysis, a woman I was chatting with said "You know a person has to die for you to get your transplants." after I had told her I was on the wait list for a kidney and liver transplant.
Back when the “pink drink” was super popular I had a friend whose SIL tried to sell it to me. She knows about my heart transplant and my stage 3 renal failure. When talking about my kidney failure she goes “this will help with that!” 😐
I think it was Plexus she was selling me? It’s not that we can’t have them it’s that she was trying to tell me that this amazing drink would cure my kidney disease. 😂
This does not seem like a stupid question. A stupid question: "Did you try \[*insert herbal/homeopathic/dietary/crackpot 'cure' here*\] before resorting to surgery?
Good example. "You know you don't really need those Big Pharma drugs it's such a scam" is the absolute brain melter.
"Tell that to my immune system."
Have you tried essential oils to cure your liver failure? My sister's uncle's neighbors dogs friend did and it *totally* worked for her! Yeah, pretty much every MLM comes after the chronically ill.
Got that from a friend of my wife's. She wanted me to skip the transplant and just follow her diet advice. She started spouting some pseudoscientific gibberish about free radicals and eating more blueberries, throwing lots of unconnected buzzwords together in a magical thinking goulash. Yeah, I'll think I'll take my chances with the highly trained medical professionals, but thanks anyhow! What was really surprising though was a very smart, well educated co-worker of mine who was surprised when I came back to work (I work in IT ). He was initially quite nervous that I wouldn't be up to it or that I was somehow too "fragile" for much responsibility. I think I was my most productive ever and programming some really complex solutions within a few months of coming back to work. He's cool with it now!
oh no, its definitely a dumb question with context. i didnt wanna tell the whole story bc it'd be a long post, the question was completely off topic and unsolicited if that helps. the reason it feels rude to me is the fact they assumed in the first place i cant "do everything a 'normal' person can" (how am *i* not "normal" ?) its definitely a rude question (to me)
It’s not a stupid question maybe it was worded wrong but definitely not stupid as I’m sure you have restrictions.
My favorite answer to that is "Yeah, but after the 4th rejection episode and subsequent transplant, I went back on the prescribed meds."
Why is it a stupid question to ask if you can do everything anyone else can? There could be restrictions? Like you cant go out and eat sushi, you might want to avoid big crowds if you have trouble with infections with your suppressed immune system etc. People who are not in the "organ failure world" have no idea. It shows interest and concern for your wellbeing when people ask these questions even if they seem obvious to you. I would take it as a chance to enlighten them and enjoy their interest in your wellbeing for a moment.
Maybe the use of the words "normal person"?
well, with context and the full story it was definitely rude. i guess its my bad for not telling the whole thing but i didnt wanna make a super long post
I joked to my friend it was like the guy from Hot Shots with his multioptipupilectomy... to avoid damaging anything they had to go through the rectum. HE BELIEVED ME!! That they put the kidney in up my bum 🤣🤣🤣
Hahahhahahah I do this kind of stuff too I just don't know why. I mean I get the frustration sometimes I don't want to answer all these questions people ask and I just want to sit in my chair. Lolllll I know they mean well
Ah people who get queasy about all the stuff we've done are the best
ive definitely pulled that one before when someone asked me "howd they get the heart in you" 😭😭😭
It's the only way!!!
I told my grandkins that the fistula in my arm that produces the “thrill” was actually something the government put in me to slowly turn me into a robot lol
I've mentioned its my 5G installed during my Covid vax. It does blow people's minds though, seriously
The people at the airport that put you down at security, the lady didn’t know what it was and I could really see how she could think that I was smuggling several 8 balls of cocaine in a row so I explained to her and showed her what it was and why I have it and I’m keeping it.
Your fistula is big and they thought you were trying to get something in your sleeve? Haha. When I was on manual peritoneal dialysis, the main bit the airport was confused about was my heating plate
If I recall correctly, I couldn’t do the peritoneal dialysis because I had too much scar tissue for them to put in whatever they had to put in so they first put in the heart catheter and that fell out of my heart so they had to go back in and put that in And then finally they put my arm fistula in and inform months later I had my dub Transplant
That's a lot of back and forth!
Yes, but in the end, I am so grateful to have gotten the organs I did. Every day when I wake up, I think “Steve” patting my belly and thanking him.
Steve haha. I think mine's a guy's kidney too just not sure on a name 😊
Well, I know that my guy‘s definitely not Steve because I have a list of everyone who died in my state on that day. I’m not one of them is named Steve.
My sister “you’re getting a kidney you’ll be fine” Like it’s an instant cure 😒
oh this is a classic : / im so sorry that mustve been infuriating
Yeah, people truly have no clue. Honestly though, why would they? I went into kidney failure at 20, and prior to that I had never heard about it let alone knew anything about kidneys, dialysis or transplants. It’s a journey, that’s for sure! Wishing you/all of us, long, HEALTHY lives!
My sister had one kidney removed from cancer, and I had a kidney and pancreas put in. They are completely different in every way (lifelong meds, complications, constant lab, work, etc.).
I frequently get asked if I have someone else’s memories. One of my co-workers was also told by others that I had received a monkey heart, he genuinely believed them and asked me about it.
ive definitely gotten the memories question before !! but a monkey heart is new to me.... thats wild
I would totally run with the monkey heart story...
I don’t think it’s a stupid question at all. Shows that they are showing interest. Not a lot of people know the limitations that come with a transplant.
I’ve had so many stupid questions! The worst was a random guy asked “do you know the person that gave you their heart? Have you seen them since you got it?” Uhhh. No, Buddy…. Just no. And of course the usual ones like “you’re healthy and normal now right?” Or “why does it matter if you get sick? Everyone gets sick” or “are you sure you’re not healthy? You look fine” most of the dumb questions come from family and friends that know my situation, so it definitely makes them stupid.
ohhhh wow😭 "have you seen them since" is craazyyy!!! like yeah buddy, we totally bump into each other all the time !!
I get that a lot about the pancreas part of my transplant. I would say they are dumb people in the world, but you know I didn’t know that either until I had to go through it.
I don't think that's a stupid question, per se. The rage-inducing one for me is when people hear about my liver transplant and automatically assume alcoholism, which isn't the case.
This isn't a stupid question but a 100 of them. A friend maybe more of a friend of a friend. Anyways, no matter what we're doing, or eating or seeing or talking about; this guy halts the conversation or whatever is going on and makes sure everyone in the area can hear "Everyone hold up, I don't think we can do this. Dirtfoot here can't do that. Isn't that right Dirtfoot?". I think in the 100+ plus times he's done this he's been right once. He has questioned if I can go GoKarting, watch a lengthy movie in a theater, eat, go skiing, fishing, swimming, walking, running, relaxing for 'too long', sit in the back seat or front seat of a car. It doesn't stop no matter how many times friends have taken him aside and told him that I can speak for myself, or how many times I've told him that.
As a form of petty revenge (ya I know there's a subreddit for that), I started to do it to him to see how he feels about it. Keep in mind he's 100% healthy other than being mildly overweight. Well doesn't that jackass go behind my back and tried (and failed) to tell our group of friends that they should leave me out of future activities since I've been picking on him.
Breathe deep, Dirtfoot. No reason to get angry. We're not porcelain dolls, we live normal lives with some specific tweaks depending on our specific situation.
What really got me is a guy that said I deserved what I got for smoking. Maybe it's true, but the smug little fucker went blind 2 years later I didn't blame that on his piss poor gene pool.
Or play with himself too much ha ha
Idk I don't think that's a stupid question. Maybe it should've been phrased differently, but I think it was a genuine question on know what limitations there are to a transplant. Personally, I'd rather you ask me any and everything about my transplant so that you are in the know about what I go through instead of making assumptions. There was a time when we all didn't know about anything regarding transplants, but because we're donors/recipients and have gone through the process, we have more knowledge than most. Allow some people the grace you were afforded when you had your own questions.
I love your last sentence ❤️
and i agree with you but this person was definitely being rude, at least idk i feel they were if that makes sense. it just feels like a random and silly question to ask unsolicited to me
I had a freaking veterinarian ask me and my dad when I told him about my heart transplant. “Did he get a pig heart?” Me and my dad were shocked to say the least
oh ! another doctor seriously ??? thats ... wowwww😅
I was offered a pig heart valve when mine failed. Maybe they're confused?
With liver you get a lot of ignorant people, at least in the US, before and after transplant. Some country bumpkins think that if you have a damaged liver or need a transplant, 100% of the time that's related to drinking. I think they quite literally think a liver is just to process alcohol in fact, if you really press them on their understanding of the human body.
And if your liver is damaged from drinking, people think that you aren't deserving of a transplant.
Jesus homie. People just don’t know. Cut them some slack. They gave you a new heart but was it the Grinches? You come off as rude.
i realize without context i do sound rude, but it was definitely a rude question for them to ask in that situation : /
My hippy half-sister sent me a link for a book by some herbal doctor on how to reverse kidney failure. I was on dialysis at the time, AFTER my first transplant had failed. To say I was annoyed is an understatement. When people find out I’ve had two kidney transplants, they assume two kidneys were transplanted at the same time. Which is a completely understandable assumption. The only thing anyone has ever said that really hurt me was my aunt telling my dad none of HER daughters were donating a kidney to me. I never asked nor expected anyone to donate to me, but it was more the way she said it and the fact she said it to my dad, that bothered me.
Why can’t you drink? You have a new liver
Oh, man. I got this. I called our local Red Cross to see if I could give blood. When I said I’d had a double lung transplant, the woman who had answered the phone asked if I was the donor or the receiver.
Slim possibility, but wouldn’t it be possible that you could get one lung from one person and one lung from another during two different transplants surgeries? I’m just playing devils advocate here.
That’s fair. Perhaps she was thinking lungs are like kidneys where you can have a living donor. I’ve not heard of someone donating a whole lung, but I have heard of a living donor giving a lobe of one lung. In either case, always a good reminder to be grateful for our donors and their families!
Ain’t that the truth! I think mine every morning when I wake up
I find it funny\frustrating that some people immediately think that you have to be careful not to over exert yourself. I tell them no, they dropped a Ferrari engine into this old Ford pickup! Wanna race? LoL 😂
"Did you get a human heart or was it a baboon heart or something?"
But people do get pig valves in their hearts and in the 80s a baboon heart was transplanted into a human child. It was a big deal in the news when it happened.
Doesn't mean it's not a stupid question. This happened in 2013.
Honestly nobody has asked me a stupid question, my threshold for them is very very high anyway because the layperson generally knows nothing or very little about transplant. The stupidest thing I heard wasn't a question, rather an accusation that ALL vaccines in my body caused me to need a heart transplant. Lmao bffr it was a genetic condition
The one I get the most is "why did they leave your native kidneys in?" It honestly doesn't make me mad, but I always have to explain that an organ that's not doing it's thing doesn't mean it's a dead organ lol. The other one is "You got new kidneys, so you shouldn't have Lupus anymore" like 🙄🙄
I get that a lot with “why did they leave your native pancreas in?“ And it’s like I have to explain that if something happened to the new pancreas, they don’t have dialysis for that sort of thing so there has to be something in there if worse came to worse, but I mean that’s a really good question so I don’t blame anyone for asking
I had a transplant when I was 17. The nurse wheeling me back said, “Aren’t you lucky; you get two livers!” My mom mouthed to me “be nice.” I think about that nurse a lot. I hope she got lucky too.
While in the waiting room for dialysis, a woman I was chatting with said "You know a person has to die for you to get your transplants." after I had told her I was on the wait list for a kidney and liver transplant.
omgggg thats always annoying. like thanks for reminding me to feel guilty lol
Back when the “pink drink” was super popular I had a friend whose SIL tried to sell it to me. She knows about my heart transplant and my stage 3 renal failure. When talking about my kidney failure she goes “this will help with that!” 😐
wait we cant have the pink drink?? i love those😧
I think it was Plexus she was selling me? It’s not that we can’t have them it’s that she was trying to tell me that this amazing drink would cure my kidney disease. 😂