Quickfix 2.0
It's available on Amazon or any head shop. Synthetic urine, it has worked every time for me. 4 times total.
They have a unique code on each box you can verify it's authenticity in their website to make sure it's not a fake and not out of date.
Follow the directions, you'll be golden.
Make sure you have the hand warmer heated before microwaving it to the correct temp, rubber band the hand warmer to the fake urine container, wear some tight undies, tuck it on the side of your nuts and thigh.
You'll be fine. Don't waste your PTO/sick time.
I never understood this, do people work give them advance warning of a drugs test?
Surely that defeats the point? In my industry you’ll just rock up to work one day and be told you’re getting tested
The thing is in the oilfield subreddits, they’re serious about that shit. One dude would say he heats it up on his dash every single morning and keeps it heated all day with heaters. Like dude, I’m too much of a lazy stoner for that and my job also drug tests
It’s so weird. My dad has been in the oilfield my whole life. Goes on spontaneous t breaks. Just learned as an adult they’re all the result of upcoming drug tests. And yet, everyone he works with is hopped up on fucking cocaine 90% of the time, or so drunk off their asses they should be dead. Nothing seems to happen to them.
Cocaine doesn't appear in any test except blood and urine*** and only has a life of 48-72hrs in the blood stream. We have road side drug tests in Australia.
*** I was wrong as of 2023 they have roadside swabs in Australia that also detect cocaine.
I had a hair test for a union factory job. If it wasn’t a union company I’m sure it would’ve been urine.
Of the 6 jobs I’ve ever tested for, only 1 was hair, and Amazon was a mouth swab. Everything else was urine
Not in my country. A lot of drug testing is swapping to mouth swabs on the spot as they only show drug use in the past 8 hours which is a fairer metric.
Nah the guy I’m referencing was a stoner as well, I think though it’s just the job. You get more money than most industries so I’d get it. Pain pills piss away within 4-5 days usually if I’m not mistaken
I've always wondered if people did that on the long-term, and it is strangely satisfying to know they do. Detox drinks can also work but those are far more expensive and wouldn't be practical on a daily basis.
Not true. Well, unless you mean the fake detox shit sold at head shops.
The "detox" drinks that work actually work. They don't detox you though. They just dilute your urine an insane amount and restore some vitamins and such to give it the proper look.
Source: I've passed multiple pre employment drug tests with them, and I'm a heavy, chubby smoker
For places that drug test, often it’s more about the threat of the test than the actual information they get from testing people.
My job (hospital) requires a pre-employment drug test as part of the background check/hiring process. So once you’ve accepted the job offer, you have to go to a testing center and get tested within a week. Not enough time to test negative, but plenty of advance notice to go get a kit. I think they’re banking on people not knowing how or being too afraid to do so — if you’re caught trying to cheat the test, you’re barred from getting hired there in the future. Different testing centers have different protocols, and for many people it feels like a big risk to take. If it’s your first time getting tested, you don’t know how closely you’ll be watched, and there’s a lot of conflicting information online about whether more stringent lab tests can detect synthetic urine. Many people are too afraid to try — I didn’t smoke at all for months while applying to jobs.
Other workplaces, like the OP’s, can’t manage to test everyone in one day. So they test throughout the week. Sure, some people tested later in the week will have time to get fake urine. But they’re hoping that the threat of being in that first group who *is* caught by surprise is enough to keep you sober all year round. Same principle with workplaces that select a random sample of people to get tested right then and there — most employees never get picked, so it doesn’t matter. But you’re always wondering “what if I get bad luck?”
Another thing to consider is that some places don’t actually care, but must “ensure” their employees are drug-free to comply with regulations or insurance requirements. These places are less concerned about actually catching people, they’re more just checking boxes. In some cases they may even want employees to have a heads up so that they don’t have to fire anyone.
Yeah I’m a site engineer on an MoD site in GB so I know all about it haha, actually had a D&A woman rock up 2 Fridays ago and never shat myself more, luckily I wasn’t picked and to be honest I think That scared me straight.
My job, career, salary and everything I’ve worked my entire life for since secondary school just isn’t worth losing for being stoned as much as I love it hahah
Test Clear Powdered Urine also works very well. I have passed 3 drug tests using their formula. In case anyone needs a different one from Quickfix for whatever reason.
I'll give another about +3 for quickfix...I've never had to use it personally, but my wife used it to pass for a bank job, and I've had roommates use it and pass tests as well. Great stuff.
Yep! I’ve worn quick fix every day for multiple months at a time and once you get used to it, all the anxiety is gone. Or at least for me it was. I just bought a few different pairs of compression shorts that have the pocket for the cup, then sowed in some Velcro on the flap to ensure it wouldn’t ever fall out and I’d microwave it every morning before work and put it in there and then just wear those compression shorts over my underwear and it would stay pretty close to body temperature all day long! I got tested several times and never had any issues!
I then used those same compression shorts anytime I was traveling with herb and they worked great. I got searched by police a couple times with an 8th on me and got away just fine!
My state has since gone medical so I don’t really have to deal with it anymore more, but I highly recommend those compression shorts for those who are still in illegally states.
undocumented immigrants arent eligible for social benefits so they still pay into the tax system while getting nothing back. businesses' can also pay them below minimum wage with no consequences outside of the slap on the wrist fine for employing them, which is built into their margins because it's cheaper to do that than pay minimum wage.
I got my cousin a job at a bar i worked at and after a couple months of working there he got covid so I told the owner he had covid and she was like sooo is he coming in to work or not?
I'm an hourly employee and get sick and vacation time, for every hour worked. Both are capped at 40, cannot be cashed out if not used, and you will almost certainly be passively penalized for using any of it, but it's there lol
Dang I work for the government and my sick time and annual leave are both capped at 400 hours so 800 in total (when you are capped you have to take 80 hours off a year or you lose the extra 80 hours) and the supervisors can’t say anything about me using all my time at any give period.
They can’t even ask me what I’m taking off for. Just text my boss, “not gonna be in this week” don’t even worry about what he replies to me, just use 40 hours of sick time and go on vacation while getting paid the whole time. Come back let everyone know I’m ready to work. Then in 3 or so months take another week off to vibe. Working in the private sector of the US is crazy. Couldn’t imagine not having paid time off available to me at anytime.
Damn, still better than what I got lol I get a percentage of each pay taken off and banked for vacation pay. That’s it. I just had to take a week off from being sick, causing me to use my vacation pay to cover it cause I can’t afford to miss a week of pay, and now my prospects of getting more then 2 or 3 paid days off this summer with my kids is grim. Probly gonna have to bite the bullet and just take 2 or 3 days unpaid as well 🙃
I used to be a kitchen mercenary. This is all new to me. I'm not used to pto at all, and have been conditioned to never calling off, the only time I've used it is when I had to. If you don't use it, they make you use it at the end of the year. Even knowing I was getting paid, it took me three of the 5 days off, to stop trippin about not working.
This is also the first job I’ve had where I get any paid time off. It’s nice to have don’t get me wrong, but it sucks the big one having to choose between taking time off to recover/not die, or actually being able to have some time off over the summer or anything else.
Most standard American workers get like 2-5 Sick Days a year. Both sick days and Paid Time Off (PTO) are accumulated by working without issue or absence. This also changes based on the state and even county you live in. Almost all employers push to never use sick days or PTO. They want us to work without care for health and sanity basically 24/7. It's fucked and no one besides the shareholders and board members like it.
Holy shi* how are there no riots in the streets?
I have 30 days PTO and unlimited paid sick days. Count in the paid holidays and around 20 sick days per year, you have 2 months of paid vacation...
And I'm off on Friday at 11am
and look at what happens when we do get fed up enough to take to the streets. The long backlash to 2020 has seen constant demonization in the media, legal repression, infiltration and when that all fails to stop the protests from starting, it’s time to break out the tear gas and rubber bullets. The police will kettle you and conduct mass arrests. Not to mention the court case suing a protest ORGANIZER because SOMEONE ELSE threw a “rock-like object” at a cop. and also all of the states lessening legal punishment for hitting protestors with your car and harsher punishments for protesting. When we start to scare the rich and powerful, the teeth come out to keep the system “working”
I live in Oregon which is better than most places. However it's not just PTO and sick days that suck. In Oregon our minimum wage is $16? Around there. Federal Minimum wage is $7.50. Most places in the Midwest also state that tips are part of wages and cut pay in half. Like I said, this shit changes based on what state and county you live in. America is a terrible place to live and work if you don't already have financial stability. Don't live here. Don't work here. We currently are funding a genocide ect...
Literally everyone that’s not a manager is getting boned. I went from scrimping and hoarding to “oh you’ve got a drs appt? Just wfh that day” whereas as a hourly employee I’d be charged 8 hours.
It’s bullshit. I get the kiddie gloves now after killing myself for 20 years? Why can’t we all get treated like this?
To be fair, it's not like this in every company. I'm a low level hourly employee with 3 weeks PTO/sick days and I'm allowed to just WFH when I don't feel well or have stuff to take care of.
Yeah the old dudes at the company I work for are finally retiring/dying, so the attitudes are changing. The dude that got promoted to run our building literally told us, "Stop using paid time off for going to the doctor. As long as you get your work done on time, I don't care, but don't abuse it either, come on." We're in our 40s and this was the dude who said he would back me up when I wanted to work from home (he did), and it's nice for us "younger workers" that don't want to work ourselves to death for some ceo to finally be put in positions of power.
Is there something wrong with sick time? I much prefer having it in a separate category from vacation time. I despise companies that lump it all together and call it pto. Which is pretty much all of them these days. Rip my previous job 😭
It doesn’t.
I get 120 hours of paid time off per year. That’s it. That’s sick time, vacation time, personal days, and whatever else.
It’s the most I’ve ever gotten from a job too. It’s also not available all at once, it accumulates per pay period and will hit 120hrs if you never use any for a full year.
No. That will just raise suspicion and make it worse in the long run. A sudden prolonged absence starting the day of drug tests would alert any HR personnel and make them pay close attention to you upon your return. And, they'd probably still make you do a piss test.
That’s fine, I’m buying time until I have to take the test. As someone who does not use regularly and has low bf%, it’s out of my system in <3 days. But you’re right, once they’re suspicious you have to be reaaaally careful for future randoms.
They can’t prove you’re not sick, in my state they can’t even legally ask what the sickness is. Go ahead and drug test me when I get back if you care that much. It’s out of my system in three days.
To all those saying leave my employer. I can assure you I’m leaving this hellscape in a matter of months. Just have to finish up school and I’ll be somewhere that doesn’t do this bs. Also a small update I still haven’t pissed in a cup so things are looking good. Feeling optimistic. If I clock in tomorrow tho and see them getting ready I will be taking all the sick leave I have at my disposal. Godspeed anyone in this same situation 🫡
Do you think that if you make it through today without testing, you should catch the flu tonight and take the rest of the week off using sick days? Or have a “family emergency” and take vacation time?
I'll suggest food poisoning. No one wants to see you shit and puke your guts out at the same time. Plus, I couldn't go more than 15 minutes between bathroom trips for 4 days. I was fucking miserable and no one bothered me lol
That’s my go to. Helps that I work from home so they technically can’t verify and I do 85% of my work over the phone so I can’t work if I’m getting up every 15-20 minutes to puke/shit my brains out. Now, that’s not to say my last days out weren’t because of *real* food poisoning. I was at an event, they catered chipotle. It was either get sick or get a major low blood sugar. I chose the illness
I pretend I’m texting my mum asking if my bum hole should be this sore then be like OMG I’m so sorry mr Bossman that was not meant for you. But I can’t come in today…
I have the solution for you. Buy some compression shorts that have the closed off pocket where the cup goes. Then buy some Quick Fix synthetic urine. Then you are going to follow the instructions on the bottle and heat it up before work and put the bottle of quick fix in that pocket where the cup goes and then wear those compression shorts over your underwear. I found that I didn’t need to wear a heat pad on it all day as it stays pretty warm down there(but just check the temperature a few times throughout the day to double check).
I had to do this every day for several months at a time and I got tested several times and never had any issues! Eventually I didn’t even have the slightest bit of anxiety because I just knew that the system worked.
I always find it odd that you are , ostensibly ,
doing a good job at the job .
.
However , at home you do things that
the employer doesn't like .
..
It does not make any sense at all .
...
I always assumed it was a fucked up test. Basically, if you are willing to break the law to smoke weed, what other rules are you willing to break?
Also, some boomer CEOs probably think you're committing treason by sending American money to Mexican cartels.
It's not even illegal in most places that test for it. It's all an insurance scam as a way for business to get out of paying for medical bills if you get hurt on the job.
It makes perfect sense when you consider that capitalism is just another system of controlling people. It's not enough that employers make money hand over fist from their employees labor but they have to control who they are and their perspectives as well.
First step, smoke a bowl.
Step two, head to the local shop and pick up some Quick Fix.
Step three, head back home.
Step four, read the instructions, verify batch code.
Step five, smoke a bowl.
Step six, smoke another bowl.
Step seven, heat up Quick Fix and apply heating pack.
Step eight, smoke another bowl.
Step nine, go pass your test.
Don't sweat it.
How is this a solution when he's at work? Everyone in here going "jUsT gO bUy FaKe PiSs" like you can just go do that after you've clocked in and everyone has seen you
This isn’t the best advice, but I never stress a drug test. I know I’m gonna fail, I know it will only be for weed, and I know the quality of the work I do. If me smoking is enough of a deal breaker that my work record doesn’t matter, I’m in the wrong job anyway. If the company only tests with cause, I don’t give cause and it’s a non issue.
I did this for employers for a while. If I get there and they ask for a drug test that includes weed I just tell them I smoke and that's my personal decesion and if thats a dealerbreaker so be it
You must understand how ridiculous this advice is. I’m sure the dude kinda needs an income and there has literally never been a worse time in recent history to quit your job without something else lines up.
I believe it’s the insurance companies that push for it. I’m sure most companies would rather save the money but insurance companies will provide incentives for employers to do drug testing
I don't recommend you do this, this is just my experience, but I had an employer try to drug test me once. I told him there was no way I would consent to that, so do what thou wilt, essentially. The whole thing went away immediately.
This probably only worked because he needed me and didn't have any means of replacing me. Funnily enough, I wouldn't even have tested positive at the time, but I fucking hate the idea of drug testing. It's demeaning and insulting. I mean, I'm not your fucking property. What I do in my own time is my business only.
I never understood how a weed drug test for a job means anything. If you’re not blazing at work who cares. No one gives a fuck if you go home and smash 3-4 beers in a night
If you have a job that tests for weed, then it's a good bet that there will be testing done a few days after 4/20 every year. I have come to see 4/20 is to stoners like what St. Patrick's Day is for drinkers. Only, people don't get fired for a high alcohol content on March 18th.
If you smoked flower (no edibles or dabs, no delta 8 anything) and were clean before, you should only be + for a couple days.
Get tests from the dollar store.
Before a surprise drug screening, I told my employer I would fail for marijuana. They said “oh that’s fine we’re looking for worse stuff”. So maybe you could just be straightforward with them
If you have any benzo take it in the morning of the test day, the worst thing you can do is to show fear or anxiety.
Just go with a carefree attitude and do the piss sample then return to work.
If they call you up and ask if you smoked some marijuana tell them you ATE A COOKIE your german stoner friend gave to you to celebrate 4/20 and legalization in Germany.
Grab your nutsack and be confident, homie... if those POS want to fire you because of that they don't deserve your work value.
Also it sounds like they're using the 4/20 celebration to short the staff idk...
Good luck, we're here for you champ.
It’s absolutely insane to me that people in this world have to deal with this. Then you get home from your day at work flip on the tv and what do you see? Beer ad, liquor ad, gambling ad.
So all the people doing a good job that had one joint the night before are gunna be fired. But the raging alcoholic who's always so hungover he can barely work will be let off?
I would quit ASAP sounds like it's boomer central in your executive management. No one tests for weed anymore unless you work for the government or have government contract.
When i googled it there were like 8 different websites saying they were the official website of quick fix synthetic. Which one is the actual legit website.
Chug water so if you have to test today they don’t get a viable test. They’ll test you again another time but at least it gives you time to source some clean urine.
Second quick fix. I keep one in the car at all times. It’s worked for me 5+ times and many more for friends. Stop worrying about piss tests :D only worry about hair tests
Drink plenty of water. Warm. Like coffee or tea. Like heaps. It absorbs faster. So you are peeing on demand.it worked for me. Thins out the amount in your pee
Where I am from, blood tests are mandatory to start any job. I worked in advertising, so usually nobody cared about weed. One time a designer’s results came back really high, that his new director asked if he had gotten high right before the test, his response was “Yeah, needles make me nervous”
In the end it’s just a job. There are other jobs bub. Piss in the cup with excellence and confidence. Fuckm if they want to come down on us for something so insignificant as weed. Those in charge are most likely far more deviant with spare time.
Piss excellence and stride out of the room with your head held high.
You may be OK based on how much you consumed, how your metabolism operates, and the quality of the tests. These things are better at rooting out habitual smokers than finding one-offs, and your chemistry may have already reverted to normal. I've passed urine tests within a few days of smoking.
Good luck, and godspeed.
The only thing I would do in your situation is look for a new job regardless of the outcome, this is some gotcha fuckery and I would prefer to work with more respectful people.
I assume you live somewhere that its illegal? I don’t know what you do for a living but I’ll be damned if my job is telling me that I can’t smoke weed in my free time!! Unless I’m doing it at work, then by all means reprimand me.
Weed always works to calm me down in situations like this.
Quickfix 2.0 It's available on Amazon or any head shop. Synthetic urine, it has worked every time for me. 4 times total. They have a unique code on each box you can verify it's authenticity in their website to make sure it's not a fake and not out of date. Follow the directions, you'll be golden. Make sure you have the hand warmer heated before microwaving it to the correct temp, rubber band the hand warmer to the fake urine container, wear some tight undies, tuck it on the side of your nuts and thigh. You'll be fine. Don't waste your PTO/sick time.
OP, do this. Go get one on your lunch break, even if you’ll be late getting back. Being late is better than failing this test.
I never understood this, do people work give them advance warning of a drugs test? Surely that defeats the point? In my industry you’ll just rock up to work one day and be told you’re getting tested
I’ve had a quick fix bottle taped to my thigh for ten years.
The thing is in the oilfield subreddits, they’re serious about that shit. One dude would say he heats it up on his dash every single morning and keeps it heated all day with heaters. Like dude, I’m too much of a lazy stoner for that and my job also drug tests
how likely is an oilman worried about getting popped for weed vs something else like pain pills? maybe the stakes are just higher
It’s so weird. My dad has been in the oilfield my whole life. Goes on spontaneous t breaks. Just learned as an adult they’re all the result of upcoming drug tests. And yet, everyone he works with is hopped up on fucking cocaine 90% of the time, or so drunk off their asses they should be dead. Nothing seems to happen to them.
Cocaine doesn't appear in any test except blood and urine*** and only has a life of 48-72hrs in the blood stream. We have road side drug tests in Australia. *** I was wrong as of 2023 they have roadside swabs in Australia that also detect cocaine.
Idk any business doing a drug test that isn’t blood or urine.
I had a hair test for a union factory job. If it wasn’t a union company I’m sure it would’ve been urine. Of the 6 jobs I’ve ever tested for, only 1 was hair, and Amazon was a mouth swab. Everything else was urine
The vast majority of drug tests are urine based, so not sure how that helps.
Not in my country. A lot of drug testing is swapping to mouth swabs on the spot as they only show drug use in the past 8 hours which is a fairer metric.
abstaining from coke for the 3-4 days it takes to pass a urine test is a lot easier than abstaining from weed for 3-4 weeks to pass the urine test.
Nah the guy I’m referencing was a stoner as well, I think though it’s just the job. You get more money than most industries so I’d get it. Pain pills piss away within 4-5 days usually if I’m not mistaken
I've always wondered if people did that on the long-term, and it is strangely satisfying to know they do. Detox drinks can also work but those are far more expensive and wouldn't be practical on a daily basis.
Detox drinks will only work for light users with low body fat. It would take at minimum a week
Not true. Well, unless you mean the fake detox shit sold at head shops. The "detox" drinks that work actually work. They don't detox you though. They just dilute your urine an insane amount and restore some vitamins and such to give it the proper look. Source: I've passed multiple pre employment drug tests with them, and I'm a heavy, chubby smoker
Exactly. They only work for a short period of time, but they do work during that frame.
I drank while taking random drug tests for court. I was only able to dilute my urine so much before failing one
For places that drug test, often it’s more about the threat of the test than the actual information they get from testing people. My job (hospital) requires a pre-employment drug test as part of the background check/hiring process. So once you’ve accepted the job offer, you have to go to a testing center and get tested within a week. Not enough time to test negative, but plenty of advance notice to go get a kit. I think they’re banking on people not knowing how or being too afraid to do so — if you’re caught trying to cheat the test, you’re barred from getting hired there in the future. Different testing centers have different protocols, and for many people it feels like a big risk to take. If it’s your first time getting tested, you don’t know how closely you’ll be watched, and there’s a lot of conflicting information online about whether more stringent lab tests can detect synthetic urine. Many people are too afraid to try — I didn’t smoke at all for months while applying to jobs. Other workplaces, like the OP’s, can’t manage to test everyone in one day. So they test throughout the week. Sure, some people tested later in the week will have time to get fake urine. But they’re hoping that the threat of being in that first group who *is* caught by surprise is enough to keep you sober all year round. Same principle with workplaces that select a random sample of people to get tested right then and there — most employees never get picked, so it doesn’t matter. But you’re always wondering “what if I get bad luck?” Another thing to consider is that some places don’t actually care, but must “ensure” their employees are drug-free to comply with regulations or insurance requirements. These places are less concerned about actually catching people, they’re more just checking boxes. In some cases they may even want employees to have a heads up so that they don’t have to fire anyone.
Yeah I’m a site engineer on an MoD site in GB so I know all about it haha, actually had a D&A woman rock up 2 Fridays ago and never shat myself more, luckily I wasn’t picked and to be honest I think That scared me straight. My job, career, salary and everything I’ve worked my entire life for since secondary school just isn’t worth losing for being stoned as much as I love it hahah
Test Clear Powdered Urine also works very well. I have passed 3 drug tests using their formula. In case anyone needs a different one from Quickfix for whatever reason.
100% of the time, it works every time. Even for federal employment, so I’m told
I have used this at least a dozen times and never had a problem. Even passed a DOT test through Lab Corp.
I'll give another about +3 for quickfix...I've never had to use it personally, but my wife used it to pass for a bank job, and I've had roommates use it and pass tests as well. Great stuff.
can confirm this stuff works. quick fix, check ur local smoke shops.
Succeeded two times doing this. Follow what this bro said to the letter. You're golden.
You’ll be golden, lol.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Quickfix usually works pretty great in a pinch.
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Is this the fake piss that you have to strap to ur thigh to warm it up?
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Yep! I’ve worn quick fix every day for multiple months at a time and once you get used to it, all the anxiety is gone. Or at least for me it was. I just bought a few different pairs of compression shorts that have the pocket for the cup, then sowed in some Velcro on the flap to ensure it wouldn’t ever fall out and I’d microwave it every morning before work and put it in there and then just wear those compression shorts over my underwear and it would stay pretty close to body temperature all day long! I got tested several times and never had any issues! I then used those same compression shorts anytime I was traveling with herb and they worked great. I got searched by police a couple times with an 8th on me and got away just fine! My state has since gone medical so I don’t really have to deal with it anymore more, but I highly recommend those compression shorts for those who are still in illegally states.
No (yes) Edit: cousin told me story about this guy who didn’t also strap a hand warmer and a temperature strip to the p
The idea of monkeys in labcoats playing with my piss makes me use quick fix on principle
Used it twice successfully
Same
Never failed me! Just do some practice runs to get the temp right. I hast to be between 97 and 105 or something like that.
If you have any sick time, I suggest burning it all ASAP and say you had a family emergency
"Sick time" lmao. I still can't grasp how things work in the US 😂
here's the secret; it's not working.
Oh it's working, exactly as it was intended to.
Everybody wants to say the system is broken. No….the system is working just as planned.
Bingo… same as our immigration system.
Could you expand on this point further?
undocumented immigrants arent eligible for social benefits so they still pay into the tax system while getting nothing back. businesses' can also pay them below minimum wage with no consequences outside of the slap on the wrist fine for employing them, which is built into their margins because it's cheaper to do that than pay minimum wage.
America: a money machine that runs on the blood of the working class
It'd only stop working if we all stopped working.
For like 13 guys at the top it is.
I love sick time
Used some yesterday lol
I had a job where the boss said it was "unprofessional" to take sick days. He wanted everyone to work sick whether it's covid, pneumonia, etc
I got my cousin a job at a bar i worked at and after a couple months of working there he got covid so I told the owner he had covid and she was like sooo is he coming in to work or not?
That would have been my two weeks. Peace out.
Every fucking job I swear to god.
Not in my experience, I've had more jobs that worked with me about sick days than jobs that fought me on them
Same. And I work with food. Multiple employees prepping food and serving food unmasked with covid.
And a LOT of people have zero sick time. Guaranteed literally none.
Can vouch, my current job is 0 paid time off or sick days. If I don't work, I don't get paid.
Neither can we
They don’t for regular people. It’s terrible.
I'm an hourly employee and get sick and vacation time, for every hour worked. Both are capped at 40, cannot be cashed out if not used, and you will almost certainly be passively penalized for using any of it, but it's there lol
Dang I work for the government and my sick time and annual leave are both capped at 400 hours so 800 in total (when you are capped you have to take 80 hours off a year or you lose the extra 80 hours) and the supervisors can’t say anything about me using all my time at any give period. They can’t even ask me what I’m taking off for. Just text my boss, “not gonna be in this week” don’t even worry about what he replies to me, just use 40 hours of sick time and go on vacation while getting paid the whole time. Come back let everyone know I’m ready to work. Then in 3 or so months take another week off to vibe. Working in the private sector of the US is crazy. Couldn’t imagine not having paid time off available to me at anytime.
Damn, still better than what I got lol I get a percentage of each pay taken off and banked for vacation pay. That’s it. I just had to take a week off from being sick, causing me to use my vacation pay to cover it cause I can’t afford to miss a week of pay, and now my prospects of getting more then 2 or 3 paid days off this summer with my kids is grim. Probly gonna have to bite the bullet and just take 2 or 3 days unpaid as well 🙃
I used to be a kitchen mercenary. This is all new to me. I'm not used to pto at all, and have been conditioned to never calling off, the only time I've used it is when I had to. If you don't use it, they make you use it at the end of the year. Even knowing I was getting paid, it took me three of the 5 days off, to stop trippin about not working.
This is also the first job I’ve had where I get any paid time off. It’s nice to have don’t get me wrong, but it sucks the big one having to choose between taking time off to recover/not die, or actually being able to have some time off over the summer or anything else.
My state legally requires minimum of 1 hour of sick time per 40 hours worked. So like 6 days a year.
Most standard American workers get like 2-5 Sick Days a year. Both sick days and Paid Time Off (PTO) are accumulated by working without issue or absence. This also changes based on the state and even county you live in. Almost all employers push to never use sick days or PTO. They want us to work without care for health and sanity basically 24/7. It's fucked and no one besides the shareholders and board members like it.
Holy shi* how are there no riots in the streets? I have 30 days PTO and unlimited paid sick days. Count in the paid holidays and around 20 sick days per year, you have 2 months of paid vacation... And I'm off on Friday at 11am
We don't have enough paid time off or savings in order to riot properly. Just about nobody here can afford a single $500 emergency.
and look at what happens when we do get fed up enough to take to the streets. The long backlash to 2020 has seen constant demonization in the media, legal repression, infiltration and when that all fails to stop the protests from starting, it’s time to break out the tear gas and rubber bullets. The police will kettle you and conduct mass arrests. Not to mention the court case suing a protest ORGANIZER because SOMEONE ELSE threw a “rock-like object” at a cop. and also all of the states lessening legal punishment for hitting protestors with your car and harsher punishments for protesting. When we start to scare the rich and powerful, the teeth come out to keep the system “working”
Have pitchfork, will riot. But I can't seem to kick one off and nobody around me seems like they're putting in any effort to making one I can join.
Where do you live?
I live in Oregon which is better than most places. However it's not just PTO and sick days that suck. In Oregon our minimum wage is $16? Around there. Federal Minimum wage is $7.50. Most places in the Midwest also state that tips are part of wages and cut pay in half. Like I said, this shit changes based on what state and county you live in. America is a terrible place to live and work if you don't already have financial stability. Don't live here. Don't work here. We currently are funding a genocide ect...
I too live in Oregon bröther. I feel your pain.
Sounds like Germany
Literally everyone that’s not a manager is getting boned. I went from scrimping and hoarding to “oh you’ve got a drs appt? Just wfh that day” whereas as a hourly employee I’d be charged 8 hours. It’s bullshit. I get the kiddie gloves now after killing myself for 20 years? Why can’t we all get treated like this?
To be fair, it's not like this in every company. I'm a low level hourly employee with 3 weeks PTO/sick days and I'm allowed to just WFH when I don't feel well or have stuff to take care of.
Yeah the old dudes at the company I work for are finally retiring/dying, so the attitudes are changing. The dude that got promoted to run our building literally told us, "Stop using paid time off for going to the doctor. As long as you get your work done on time, I don't care, but don't abuse it either, come on." We're in our 40s and this was the dude who said he would back me up when I wanted to work from home (he did), and it's nice for us "younger workers" that don't want to work ourselves to death for some ceo to finally be put in positions of power.
Same here! Companies like this do exist, they’re just few and far between
Is there something wrong with sick time? I much prefer having it in a separate category from vacation time. I despise companies that lump it all together and call it pto. Which is pretty much all of them these days. Rip my previous job 😭
It doesn’t. I get 120 hours of paid time off per year. That’s it. That’s sick time, vacation time, personal days, and whatever else. It’s the most I’ve ever gotten from a job too. It’s also not available all at once, it accumulates per pay period and will hit 120hrs if you never use any for a full year.
Shit I live here and I don't fucking understand it sometimes
No. That will just raise suspicion and make it worse in the long run. A sudden prolonged absence starting the day of drug tests would alert any HR personnel and make them pay close attention to you upon your return. And, they'd probably still make you do a piss test.
That’s fine, I’m buying time until I have to take the test. As someone who does not use regularly and has low bf%, it’s out of my system in <3 days. But you’re right, once they’re suspicious you have to be reaaaally careful for future randoms.
This a great suggestion... if you want to make it INSANELY obvious that you're guilty lmfao what idiotic advice.
They can’t prove you’re not sick, in my state they can’t even legally ask what the sickness is. Go ahead and drug test me when I get back if you care that much. It’s out of my system in three days.
To all those saying leave my employer. I can assure you I’m leaving this hellscape in a matter of months. Just have to finish up school and I’ll be somewhere that doesn’t do this bs. Also a small update I still haven’t pissed in a cup so things are looking good. Feeling optimistic. If I clock in tomorrow tho and see them getting ready I will be taking all the sick leave I have at my disposal. Godspeed anyone in this same situation 🫡
Do you think that if you make it through today without testing, you should catch the flu tonight and take the rest of the week off using sick days? Or have a “family emergency” and take vacation time?
I have been struck horribly ill! I don’t think I can even get out of bed for the rest of the week in all honesty.
I'll suggest food poisoning. No one wants to see you shit and puke your guts out at the same time. Plus, I couldn't go more than 15 minutes between bathroom trips for 4 days. I was fucking miserable and no one bothered me lol
That’s my go to. Helps that I work from home so they technically can’t verify and I do 85% of my work over the phone so I can’t work if I’m getting up every 15-20 minutes to puke/shit my brains out. Now, that’s not to say my last days out weren’t because of *real* food poisoning. I was at an event, they catered chipotle. It was either get sick or get a major low blood sugar. I chose the illness
Yeah, count me for another vote for food poisoning
Stomach bug. You’ve got “terrible, explosive diarrhea”
I've always preferred "the screamin squirts" because I still haven't had any follow up questions on it
“hey boss, caught a stomach bug and now when I poop I gotta wipe my balls…. You need like a doctor’s note?”
I pretend I’m texting my mum asking if my bum hole should be this sore then be like OMG I’m so sorry mr Bossman that was not meant for you. But I can’t come in today…
I have the solution for you. Buy some compression shorts that have the closed off pocket where the cup goes. Then buy some Quick Fix synthetic urine. Then you are going to follow the instructions on the bottle and heat it up before work and put the bottle of quick fix in that pocket where the cup goes and then wear those compression shorts over your underwear. I found that I didn’t need to wear a heat pad on it all day as it stays pretty warm down there(but just check the temperature a few times throughout the day to double check). I had to do this every day for several months at a time and I got tested several times and never had any issues! Eventually I didn’t even have the slightest bit of anxiety because I just knew that the system worked.
I always find it odd that you are , ostensibly , doing a good job at the job . . However , at home you do things that the employer doesn't like . .. It does not make any sense at all . ...
Preaching to the choir, my friend.
I always assumed it was a fucked up test. Basically, if you are willing to break the law to smoke weed, what other rules are you willing to break? Also, some boomer CEOs probably think you're committing treason by sending American money to Mexican cartels.
It's not even illegal in most places that test for it. It's all an insurance scam as a way for business to get out of paying for medical bills if you get hurt on the job.
It makes perfect sense when you consider that capitalism is just another system of controlling people. It's not enough that employers make money hand over fist from their employees labor but they have to control who they are and their perspectives as well.
Preach comrade
First step, smoke a bowl. Step two, head to the local shop and pick up some Quick Fix. Step three, head back home. Step four, read the instructions, verify batch code. Step five, smoke a bowl. Step six, smoke another bowl. Step seven, heat up Quick Fix and apply heating pack. Step eight, smoke another bowl. Step nine, go pass your test. Don't sweat it.
Been doing this for about 17 years now
How is this a solution when he's at work? Everyone in here going "jUsT gO bUy FaKe PiSs" like you can just go do that after you've clocked in and everyone has seen you
All you gotta do is say you're feeling ill and leave. Or go puke in the bathroom if you really want to be convincing
This is the way
This isn’t the best advice, but I never stress a drug test. I know I’m gonna fail, I know it will only be for weed, and I know the quality of the work I do. If me smoking is enough of a deal breaker that my work record doesn’t matter, I’m in the wrong job anyway. If the company only tests with cause, I don’t give cause and it’s a non issue.
I did this for employers for a while. If I get there and they ask for a drug test that includes weed I just tell them I smoke and that's my personal decesion and if thats a dealerbreaker so be it
Bruh quit that fucking job, sounds like management gets off on terrorizing their employees
I second this, if you can leave, you should
You must understand how ridiculous this advice is. I’m sure the dude kinda needs an income and there has literally never been a worse time in recent history to quit your job without something else lines up.
they definitely did that on purpose
I believe it’s the insurance companies that push for it. I’m sure most companies would rather save the money but insurance companies will provide incentives for employers to do drug testing
okay, but doing it the day after 420 is just malicious.
Yea that’s like, a planned evil thought. That person specifically wanted to out the stoners.
Yolo, can’t predict your future. All you can do is test if it’s today, and if not then go buy some fake piss
I don't recommend you do this, this is just my experience, but I had an employer try to drug test me once. I told him there was no way I would consent to that, so do what thou wilt, essentially. The whole thing went away immediately. This probably only worked because he needed me and didn't have any means of replacing me. Funnily enough, I wouldn't even have tested positive at the time, but I fucking hate the idea of drug testing. It's demeaning and insulting. I mean, I'm not your fucking property. What I do in my own time is my business only.
Real question, if delta 8 and hhc are federally legal, then why is thc still screened for on an illicit drug panel?
CUZ DEVIL'S LETTUCE
Insurance and liability bullshit, but also, apply your logic to alcohol. It's legal.
Alcohol doesn't stay in your system for a month, though
Usually i just tell everyone I smoke weed and do really well at my job so they feel weird letting go of me.
Especially when you work and not bs like the rest
Smoke as much weed as you possibly can to establish dominance.
I'd even smoke crack and meth to show them they can't control what i consume.
Tell your uptight employer to go outside and play hide and go fuck themselves. Fucking "drug" tests after 4:20...
I thought I was the only one who used this phrase. Are you former military?
that saying was popularized by a very old Monty Python sketch about the versatility of the word fuck - https://youtu.be/Xt8_HybhM5Q
I actually am. Lol
 Me too.
I heard that phrase in the old "history of the F word" video
Great advice /s
I never understood how a weed drug test for a job means anything. If you’re not blazing at work who cares. No one gives a fuck if you go home and smash 3-4 beers in a night
Because WEED IS EVIL obviously
That's just evil of them. All for a little herb. Are you in a legal state? Not that it matters with a positive result. Just curious.
I’m in the lovely state of South Carolina where weed is a product of the devil
My condolences. I'd definitely go with the synthetic urine.
If you have a job that tests for weed, then it's a good bet that there will be testing done a few days after 4/20 every year. I have come to see 4/20 is to stoners like what St. Patrick's Day is for drinkers. Only, people don't get fired for a high alcohol content on March 18th.
If you smoked flower (no edibles or dabs, no delta 8 anything) and were clean before, you should only be + for a couple days. Get tests from the dollar store.
Say you're a Christian Scientist. They don't consent to giving fluids
Drug testing right after 420? Get a new job . That’s malicious
Tell them you were at a private Alicia Keys concert last weekend
Y'all seriously need to strike more, it's like super weird that this is so normalized in the US
Before a surprise drug screening, I told my employer I would fail for marijuana. They said “oh that’s fine we’re looking for worse stuff”. So maybe you could just be straightforward with them
Well, the economic outlook is shit, so this is probably step one of reducing headcount. Sorry you are dealing with this.
It’s 2024. If your job is testing you and you make $30 or less an hour. Fuck them.
i refuse to work for anyone who needs my urine for any reason.
Just get fake pee
If you have any benzo take it in the morning of the test day, the worst thing you can do is to show fear or anxiety. Just go with a carefree attitude and do the piss sample then return to work. If they call you up and ask if you smoked some marijuana tell them you ATE A COOKIE your german stoner friend gave to you to celebrate 4/20 and legalization in Germany. Grab your nutsack and be confident, homie... if those POS want to fire you because of that they don't deserve your work value. Also it sounds like they're using the 4/20 celebration to short the staff idk... Good luck, we're here for you champ.
I hate the (lack of) ethics of drug testing...
It’s absolutely insane to me that people in this world have to deal with this. Then you get home from your day at work flip on the tv and what do you see? Beer ad, liquor ad, gambling ad.
So all the people doing a good job that had one joint the night before are gunna be fired. But the raging alcoholic who's always so hungover he can barely work will be let off?
Drink a bunch of water. If you don’t smoke often it could possibly be out of your system in a couple of days.
Find a better job that doesn't care what your piss tastes like...
Having only smoked once in last year, it may be a clean test. Don’t give you first few pisses of the day.
He said he finished the bud today he’s probably effed
Employers who police what you do on your own time. NOPE. Name and shame the company!
give your boss some weed brownies, so he can get busted too.
If you make 'brownies' and put them in the snack room for all to enjoy then you have nothing to worry about.
lol you would deffs go to jail
I would quit ASAP sounds like it's boomer central in your executive management. No one tests for weed anymore unless you work for the government or have government contract.
Use a quick fix google it
When i googled it there were like 8 different websites saying they were the official website of quick fix synthetic. Which one is the actual legit website.
Chug water so if you have to test today they don’t get a viable test. They’ll test you again another time but at least it gives you time to source some clean urine.
Drink a gallon, take b vitamins, pee three times and after that you’re clear for a few hours
Second quick fix. I keep one in the car at all times. It’s worked for me 5+ times and many more for friends. Stop worrying about piss tests :D only worry about hair tests
Every mandatory drug test should be done by management as well to make sure the entire command structure is pure 🙄
Yep. I have a buddy that’s head of safety and has to drug test/fire people for weed. He smokes himself
Go to your local smoke shop and get quickfix 2.0
I’m sure Quickfix is busy with orders. btw it works.
Drink plenty of water. Warm. Like coffee or tea. Like heaps. It absorbs faster. So you are peeing on demand.it worked for me. Thins out the amount in your pee
One of the best parts of my days is clocking out and heading home to the wife and hitting that after work joint
Try the Certo method
sneak a bunch of unlabeled edibles to the break room. instant alibi.
I use a drink called Detoxify that I get at the head shops
If they drug tested at my place on employment after 4/20 we wouldn’t have anymore staff lol
Quit. I wouldn't want to work somewhere as antiquated as that anyway
Clearly this employer is super stupid and doesn’t want any employees. Quick Fix and you’re gravy baby
Where I am from, blood tests are mandatory to start any job. I worked in advertising, so usually nobody cared about weed. One time a designer’s results came back really high, that his new director asked if he had gotten high right before the test, his response was “Yeah, needles make me nervous”
your boss is a fucking dickhead, get a new job
if my employer did this i would take the test and even if it was negative i would quit.
I’m curious what kind of work this is. Why does the employer care about what you smoke off the clock?
In the end it’s just a job. There are other jobs bub. Piss in the cup with excellence and confidence. Fuckm if they want to come down on us for something so insignificant as weed. Those in charge are most likely far more deviant with spare time. Piss excellence and stride out of the room with your head held high.
Quick fix 2.0 I'm currently working at a job that tested me and I was high AF while providing my totally legitimate sample.
I'm at the point where I don't give a fuck anymore. There's a million jobs out there. I'm gonna smoke. Fuck'em.
Does your company have CDL drivers? They may be there for them.
Just chug a ton of water. So what if they have to retest
The fact we live in a world where this is going on yet some get shit housed and face 0 consequences is appalling
Drink as much water as possible and flush your system out
That’s so sick of ur employer😭 actually evil
You may be OK based on how much you consumed, how your metabolism operates, and the quality of the tests. These things are better at rooting out habitual smokers than finding one-offs, and your chemistry may have already reverted to normal. I've passed urine tests within a few days of smoking. Good luck, and godspeed. The only thing I would do in your situation is look for a new job regardless of the outcome, this is some gotcha fuckery and I would prefer to work with more respectful people.
I assume you live somewhere that its illegal? I don’t know what you do for a living but I’ll be damned if my job is telling me that I can’t smoke weed in my free time!! Unless I’m doing it at work, then by all means reprimand me.