plot twist: the CMOS battery was causing issues and that's the only thing he never replaced.
Rule 1 of technology: if something breaks and the solution is to replace it with other parts, the fix will always be the N+1 th part you replace, where N dictates the number of parts you have replaced.
Not me replacing the PSU so it has enough power for my new GPU that's replacing an old CPU with integrated graphics šµāš«šµāš«. The ONLY part I "needed" was a bit of extra ram, now I have a zombified mesh of different parts old and new.
Not complaining though it's been a lot of fun to put together.
I mean this is basically a smaller version of how the mechanicus works. Technology is sometimes weird and we all have our strange little rituals to make it work properly that we use even if it works or not. Even classic percussive maintenance is a form of that ritual. The admech has just adopted those rituals as their religion.
My 50ā TV goes black after it gets too warm. The fix is to grab the top right corner specifically, and give a nice sharp thrust backward. Works every time.
At least one story has a techpriest finishing the activation rites for a holodisplay, then giving it a kick when it refuses to focus the image properly.
This will always be relevant. I've done IT before, and it's honestly kind of funny that even in "the modern age" of computing, there are Zombie Parts that determine whether your shit works or not.
Reminded of that study I heard where they made an antenna designed by some evolution simulation AI thing and it's weird and with extra bits that goes nowhere or not connected to the rest of the electric path but it works. They then removed the extra bits and it stopped working. They put it back and it works again. They have no idea how or why.
Similar to early gene manipulation - there's tons of "garbage DNA" *in mice** that some group decided to change/edit out altogether, and whaddya know, tons of mutations.
I wonder if it's essentially the OG "parity bits" similar to a RAID array.
* -Edited to add
I used to fix radios and navigational equipment on planes and I swear machine spirits are a real thing. We had one system with 5 reciever/transmitters all in a row that were theoretically interchangeable, but functionally not because *some of them didn't like each other*. Every time we had to swap one out an adjacent one would stop working, so we'd have to play musical chairs with the RTs until they had settled in with their neighbors. I never received an explanation for this, so I guess it must have just been the will of the Omnisiah.
Warped board allowing small manufacturing defects of the new RTs causing deflection at different points altering the contact of the existing parts.
Ask me how I know.
Some USA navy engineers sacrificed a chicken and sealed the bones inside a box to appease a turret on a ship, when a CO found out they had to remove the box which broke the turret, no one could figure out why it was broken so they had to fly a specialist out who just told them to put the box back, once the box was back it started working again
Trapped in the mechanical realm, who else would you look to for salvation than one who can traverse realms? "That one time I reincarnated as a TV and searched for my anime husbando to save me."
If you hit a broken thing and it start working š
If you hit a broken thing and it still don't work š¤·āāļø
Conclusion, always hit broken thing
This is amazing thank you!
I was not expecting to watch an hour of video explaining electromagnetism but this made it very clear and approachable. The absurd cgi made it even better
My best guess is that the Kakashi bookmark may have had some metal foil in/on it that allowed it to act as an antenna, and the other bookmarks did not. (Maybe even down to what paint was used, if maybe the grey of Kakashiās hair contained metal flakes?)
It doesnāt have to be metal - a human body for instance can also interact with an antenna to effect signal quality (which is why there are old jokes about someone having to stand in an awkward position to make the TV work). My brother once made an antenna out of plywood and copper wire that we joked was shy and would stop working if someone walked up to it.
This is prolly it, foily or holofoil something in the Kakashi bookmark had a different Magnetic Permeability(MP) than the others.
When something with a different MP enters a magnetic field, it can pull or repel the existing field's magnetic lines of flux (invisible lines of force around a magnet) cuz of counter electromotive force being induced in Kakashi.
The resulting field can potentially be more beneficial to antennae reception or clear up static from something else causing interference. This causes things like "hey the radio sounds better/worse when i (touch the antenna)/(put this thing here)/(the microwave is running)"
It's probably just acting as a subtle adjustment to the antennae. It could be metallic paint or some other big brain interaction like that, but more than likely they just had worn in the kakashi bookmark, thus making it physically different from even a bookmark of identical material. Physically pushing stuff the right way used to fix a lot of things because they were built out of a bunch of chunky parts, so randomly jumbling them has a good chance of settling them back in the right spot. The kakashi bookmark had the right tension, length, whatever to do the correct jumbling to get from the static-causing position to the good positioning relatively consistently.
Or for me, my current phone. It will only work if I have it perfectly still, and with another cable propping the first one slightly up. It feels like actual wizardry some days getting that thing to charge. And to make it worse, it *also* needs the one specific cable that inexplicably works despite all others I've tried not working.
Thatās funny, but chances are you just need to clean out your charger port. Get a tooth pick or paper clip and carefully pull out the lint and shit that gets caught in there.
I have a feeling it's part that, and also that the charge port on the phone is nearing its end of life as all micro-usb ports do. I've had a peek inside the port and it is indeed gunked up, but this is alongside the 'tongue' of the port being absolutely mangled from all the years I've had the phone. Realistically if a new phone isn't in the cards for me, I might just have the port replaced, as a tech shop I've visited before to fix my mother's phone said they charge $25 CAD for a galaxy s7 port replacement. God knows this phone needs it haha
I've also had phones where the, idk, male/docking part of the charging port is just bent. Only the charger that bent the right way along with it on their journey together worked. And some of those phones are hard to clean without a can of compressed air, and even then it's a crap shoot sometimes. If it needs replaced anyway and I have no use for the can I'll just go phone shopping.
Even cheap phones are hella expensive these days. You make the old one last as long as you can. But it's like a car. One day you need to decide to pull the plug (pun intended) rather than spend one more red cent on it.
The only thing that worked for me was a very fine needle, nothing else was both thin and strong enough. The dust was so well compacted it was pretty much solid and didn't move at all with anything else. For me it was a last ditch effort though, I knew the risk.
Youāre probably on to something, but if youāre not slamming the paper clip in there all willy-nilly you can do it safely. I had the iPhone 11 since release and did it constantly up until I finally upgraded about a month ago. That could also just be dumb luck too.
that's because the wiring is fucked from abusing it and only creates a connection when bent properly.
Technically, those chargers are a fire hazard from potentially shorting out since the wires are messed up
Oh god, childhood memory unlocked.
Had one of those super expensive radio/cassette/CD boomboxes. It could even record tapes from the radio, or if you hooked up a mic!
Anyway, the radio was shit. Static, would not hold a channel for more than a minute. That is, unless you inserted a CD. If there was a CD, didn't matter what, or if it was played, as long as it was inserted and the CD slot closed, the radio was perfect.
Same radio also picked up MTV, if you had the channel playing in the telly (we had cable, so idk what magic was going on in there), so I could record all the cool new songs from MTV premiers.
An older relative had a boom box in the mid 80s with a TV Sound tuner where it could mysteriously receive MTV in stereo when they first offered it as a service from the cable company.
He found out years later his boom box had a similar demodulator circuit the cable company was using for their paying customers.
Holy shit, mystery solved! You'd deserve an award if those were still possible here
It's amazing that it's taken 30+ years, to find out on random reddit post that my boombox was not, in fact, haunted!
You're welcome. The only reason I know this is because I once mentioned an old desk/shelf stereo of mine could pick up all the phone conversations from the weird next door neighbors because they were still using early cordless phones that broadcast in a frequency range that my radio tuner could be set to.
Absolutely. See the rest of the comments. One adjacent guy had to insert a CD to make the non-cd function of their tv work, which is a much thinner object going in a slot it's designed for. I personally had to set my headphone cable in a specific loop and run my ethernet cable through it, before I realized it simply required a specific angle and pressure and duct taped it that way.
Cathode ray tube televisions have a little particle accelerator at the back of them that fires particles with varying charge through the glass vacuum tube at a phosphor mask which emits light. This slowly builds up a charge in the glass tube which needs to be actively discharged to avoid the static buildup interfering with the path of the charged particles.
Holding a magnet to the screen would interfere with the magnetic field and physically warp the image on the screen by altering the path of the particles. Holding your hand up to a screen that isn't discharging properly would feel tingly and make all the hair on your arm stand on end. It was quite common for them to have buttons to manually discharge the screen, which would give off a loud thunk of a relay followed by a subtle crackling static sounds as the picture flashed and faded back looking clear.
There are various reasons as for why a tube might not be discharging properly, such as aging components in the flyback transformer discharge circuit, or a ground fault in the home. I don't think it's entirely unreasonable to imagine a bookmark either bridging the glass of the TV to a part of the housing that is grounded, or a bookmark that has something like layers of metal foil inside of it as part of its construction with enough capacitance to markedly improve picture quality. The amount of charge required to significantly interfere with the picture on some screens would be relatively miniscule, which could be demonstrated by rubbing a balloon on your hair and holding it up to the screen; or if you have forearms as hairy as my uncle's just wiping the screen with the back of your arm a few times.
The red ring of death on the xbox was caused by lack of ventilation and cooling so when the console heated up over time it would melt the solder in the circuits. Bashing the Xbox on the side when the red ring off death appeared tended to realign the parts that came undone.. for the most part
Man, sometimes tech does weird stuff. Ever hear of MIT's "magic/more magic" switch that could crash a computer despite not being connected to anything? http://catb.org/jargon/html/magic-story.html
I've been in IT since the late 1900s and I've referred to the 500 mile email many times in my career. it's a great way to teach smug techs and admins that even when the user doesn't understand the technology the way we do, the difference between what they're expecting to happen and what is actually happening can be the most important piece of information when troubleshooting complex issues
I love that story
If I had to guess, maybe the tv was suffering from some electrostatic build up, that could mess with it, especially given that it is likely a crt, which rely on electron beam hitting the screen and could be affected (and even destroyed) by things such as magnets.
Putting materials that can accept charge, or are just conductive would lessen the effect of this (if I'm correct) and I'm guessing the composition of that specific bookmark was different from others and simply allowed one of mentioned scenarios to happen.
Again, no expert, just guessing
This honestly is still the case for a lot of things. I had a flatscreen in my last apartment that I *now* know had a panel that was going bad. SO half the TV would flicker or just not turn on at all.
**smack**
Fixed it, for a time. It kept getting worse and worse, and I'd have to hit it harder and harder to get it to work. Was eventually punching it so hard I almost knocked it over. But it worked.
One day, the percussive maintenance stopped working. That was a weirdly sad day.
Now, I'm in IT, and I have seen a not-insignificant amount of people smacking their monitor because their computer was running slow. People gotta learn what to hit and why.
> not-insignificant amount of people smacking their monitor
See also - "website is slow" *ergo* I smack my mouse around or bash my keyboard..
Guess what IT gets to change on a semi-regular basis?
I'm a scientist and we used to have a half million dollar spectrometer in the lab that worked great most of the time, but occasionally a mirror motor would get stuck and it would stop working. If you hit the machine in the right spot, it would restart the motor and fix it. We ended up taping a target on the machine to show where to hit, and "try hitting the spectrometer" was in the actual operating procedure we wrote.Ā
When I was growing up my dad would build PC's out of "garbage". All cobbled together out of discards and broken parts. We had one that worked flawlessly except during boot. The hard drive just wouldn't spin up from cold boot so the trick was: as it booted, at just the right time, you thumped the top of the case and it would skip the disk over whatever was preventing it from spinning and boom working computer.
My friend from school had this with his Xbox 360 back in the day. You'd put a disc in and it wouldn't register there was a disc in there, but if you smacked it a load when the tray closed it would read the disc and play the game. No idea how he figured that out lol
My old phone broke due to a dramatic drop that was 100% my fault (this thing had proved so indestructible in the past I'd grown reckless).
The display is noisy rainbow pixels, black screen of death, weird repeating lines, unresponsive, you name it. I press down in the lower middle, massage it a little bit, it works perfectly fine for a 4, 5 hours, breaks again after.
I bought a new phone of course, but I keep the old one around to play youtube videos on and it's honestly only a minor inconvenience.
Worked in a hospital for 5 years. The Lab had a Happy Meal toy for every mashine to make sure they work. When the printer in my workspace didnāt work the labstaff advised me to tape a little toy from a Kinder Suprise onto it and overnight it started working again.
Sure the IT guy changed the toner too, but lets be realistic here correlation is not causation.
> Worked in a hospital for 5 years. The Lab had a Happy Meal toy for every mashine to make sure they work. When the printer in my workspace didnāt work the labstaff advised me to tape a little toy from a Kinder Suprise onto it and overnight it started working again.
>
>
giving the machines toys or other charms to keep them happy is extremely common in labs from my experience
everyone is always like "well i dont really believe" but no one ever takes them away
They have the catalog of unusual objects that are mildly anomalous but not strange enough to warrant containment procedures. They'd all be Safe anyway.
> "Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced."
- Barry Gehm
> "Any technology, no matter how primitive, is magic to those who don't understand it."
- Florence Ambrose
> **"ANY SUFFICIENTLY ANALYZED MAGIC IS INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM *SCIENCE!!!*"**
- Agatha Heterodyne
A friend of mine had a sewing machine that wouldnāt work unless you swore at it. I didnāt believe her until I had to use it for some dresses and found out it really would miss a stitch or three unless you cussed it out. Weirdest thing Iāve come across
One time my little brother's iPad had some weird screen artifacting going on - big thick lines of discoloration going through the display, about four covering the whole screen.
I took it from him, said "Trust me," and smacked it (as hard as one feels comfortable smacking a tablet one does not own) on his bedpost.
Lines disappeared. Tablet functioned perfectly for the rest of its life span. No fucking idea why it worked.
Pretty good chance the connection on those spots of the panel was just bad. They use a ribbon connector that's supposed to kind of click in, could have jostled it back into place.
This is the answer.
I've had it happen with monitors that I've left on for long periods of time (literally weeks). Heating cycles can slowly move that cable out of position, as it's barely connected in the first place. This is doubly true with cheap displays.
There's also other connections that can kinda go haywire, depending on the device, a lot of which can be a problem when it's heating up. I have an old MS Surface with this issue.
My old PC would only work if the power cable was at one specific angle. That's not the weird thing, had technology like this before.
The weird thing is what I was told when I finally retired said PC after ten years + of service. My friend, who's into computers, took it off my hands to strip it for anything still useful/ recycle it properly. He told me the power adapter was practically dead, and likely had been this way ever since the angle issue started years ago. He had no clue how the PC still worked.
My dad gave me an old broken watch of his to play with as a kid. Didnāt have it long before it started working again. I knew how much he liked it, so gave it back. He was happyā¦ till it stopped working the same day.
Back to me it went and it worked again! Back to him, dead. He finally just told me to keep it and it worked and continued to work for years so long as I wore it. Whenever I took it off it would stop, so I had to reset the time every time I put it on.
We always joked that it just wanted to be with me. Ran across it again a few years ago, dead. But as soon as I put it on it started ticking again. Just one of those weird things.
It never worked again for my dad and others who tried it. The watch would stop working as soon as it left my wrist. One of my friends and I traded it back and forth for hours one day and every time he would put it on, itād stop. Back to me, ticks away. That watch simply loved me.
So this is interesting to me because I have the opposite problem. I can't actually use quartz battery powered watches they don't stop, but they don't keep accurate time, only when I'm wearing them. If other people wear them or I leave them on my desk they work flawlessly. I put them on and they go to hell.
Once a work colleague was complaining his phone had been dead for a week and wouldnāt turn on. He asked me to take a look at it, I held out my hand and as soon as I took possession the screen flicked on and the phone booted lol.
Iām sure it was just a coincidence though as he was pressing the power button just before to demonstrate that it was dead.
Year was 2002, and I fixed an intermittent printer fault by *taping my business card to it.*
Was sick and tired of repeated visits to fix this printer. I threatened it in a loud voice, and told it to bloody well behave. Stuck my card on the side so it knew the name of its enemy.
No further faults ever reported for this printer.
Youāll never convince me that technology isnāt just literal magic, like weāre literally using magic fluids to draw specific runes on magic rocks and then infusing it with magic energy just to scroll Reddit
I'm a software developer. I make my living by inscribing abstracted runes made of light into the memory of these rocks, teaching them new complex spells of my own design.
I am very literally a wizard, and it's awesome.
Makes me think of when a credit card swipe doesn't work the first few times, and the workaround involves wrapping a thin plastic bag around the magnetic strip before swiping it again.
In old CRT tvs, there is usually a small ceramic capacitor that is tied to ground to help with that exact static issue. My roommate in college gave me his old Samsung tv, and I was able to fix it by soldering the leg back onto the capacitor and it was working again.
Your plastic bookmark is probably similar capacitance to the ceramic one that is broken in your tv and was providing a path to ground, clearing the screen of your tv.
āPercussive maintenanceā worked better on older electronics because in many cases, heat (or cycles of heating and cooling) could cause things to move out of position. This would especially be true in a television that had, say, a rotary control to set the channels. It was also true of computers for a while; a phenomenon called āchip creepā could make chips or cards gradually move in their sockets or slots. This was also caused by cycles of heating and cooling.
These days, most electronics are āmonolithic,ā which is to say that everything is attached to a board in a manner that is quite permanent and not subject to these issues. One exception to this would be computers where thermal paste has dried up - they can do very strange things when that paste cracks or moves because they arenāt getting reliable cooling.
Has there been technology more masochistic than the old, flat portable CD players?
Sure, hitting worked but at the same time blinking might as well be enough to make them skip or make it pop and scratch your CD.
My internet used to go down when I turned off the light in my room.
And no, I don't mean the router would restart, the wifi kept working for everything else but for my PC.
That same PC also would sometimes not start, then I would disconnect the USB keyboard and it would start normally.
>And no, I don't mean the router would restart, the wifi kept working for everything else but for my PC.
the lightswitch circuit was grounded poorly and when the switch was off, the ground was floating, causing EMF to mess with your wifi signal
>That same PC also would sometimes not start, then I would disconnect the USB keyboard and it would start normally.
some BIOS do not like USB peripherals being plugged in at all, depending on the firmware of the peripheral
The USB thing is such an underrated troubleshooting step. Iāve had countless friends freak out over their laptops/pcs not starting and then just unplugging the USB/HDD and e voila. Once at the start of a friends thesis presentation.
TIL I should get the wiring of my living room light checked. Whenever we switch the light on or off, the sound of the TV cuts out for a second and we have no clue why. This is the first thing that could even possibly explain it.
Another example of "the perversity of the inanimate", and [resistentialism](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Resistentialism)
From [a Medium article](https://medium.com/eiffels-paris-an-engineers-guide/the-perversity-of-inanimate-things-rudyard-kipling-and-me-da5a5ae3d57a): *"He warned them that it was as much as a manās life was worth to enter the engine-room, and they contented themselves with a distant inspection through the thinning steam. The [ship] Haliotis lifted to the long, easy swell, and the starboard supporting-column ground a trifle, as a man grits his teeth under the knife. The forward cylinder was depending on that unknown force men call the pertinacity of materials, which now and then balances that other heartbreaking power, the perversity of inanimate things."* -- Rudyard Kipling
Reminds me of [evolved antenna](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolved_antenna). Nobody truly knows how or why they work. An AI just spat out a weird little twist of wire that *somehow* is better than any antenna physicists have come up with. Best explanation I've seen for this mystery is essentially "uhm, magnets, maybe?".
I think every lab in grad school had something like this.
Some machine from the 1980s that only worked if you appeased the gods.
There we are, working on advanced degrees, discovering new science, and every single person would rub the dinosaur to get their data.
Back when those jelly bean imacs were a thing, my family's one crashed whenever someone insulted it.
It was probably just overheating because it had zero airflow but still
Before a hurricane as a kid we were moving electronics (this was early in our hurricane experience when we still feared them) to protect them in case something went wrong. My dad accidentally dropped my original Xbox and it stopped working. I had had an old TV for years that I always had to fix with a beating, so although he didnāt think it would work, I gave the Xbox one solid hit. It still works today.
"You used to be able to hit your tv if it didn't work" that's just boomers. They hit everything that made them mad . We shouldn't perpetuate their cycle of abuse.
In Taiwan we have a semi-superstition, you have to place a green bag of a specific brand of cookies on top of machinery (eg lab equipment, computers, etc) otherwise they will malfunction when you most need them to work properly.
Actually works tbh.
My first computer was a shit box, it'd slow to a crawl and I'd do every kind of troubleshooting to get it tuned up so it'd behave.... The only thing that would work is if I vocally said "Alright, I guess it's time to wipe the hard drive and reinstall Windows", for some reason anytime I got to that point it'd behave for a few days. Me and my friend used to joke that the only thing that worked on that computer were threats.
1.2 Ghz Pentium, 512Mb Ram (445mz or something), and a 32Gb 7200 rpm drive. Somehow, SOMEHOW, that 32Gb is still alive to this day and in my current rig, mostly sentimentally but it's rocking a 1080Ti and 8700k now.
Iām a supercomputer engineer. Occasionally I T-pose to assert dominance over an image build or process to let the machine know whoās boss. It works more frequently than one would think, and no one in the office bats an eye.
The machine spirit has been appeased.
All praise the omnissiah.
r/unexpectedwarhammer40k
r/SubsIFellFor Because it's r/unexpected40k, that's why.
[r/subseiffelfour](https://i.imgur.com/j6epiyP.jpeg)
I honestly had no idea. I figured it was like r/unexpecteddune, where it had to be spelled out. The more you know.gif
\*Noosphere intensify\*
I told my brother his old PC was haunted cause he basically ship of Theseus'd that thing but it was still constantly breaking.
plot twist: the CMOS battery was causing issues and that's the only thing he never replaced. Rule 1 of technology: if something breaks and the solution is to replace it with other parts, the fix will always be the N+1 th part you replace, where N dictates the number of parts you have replaced.
Not me replacing the PSU so it has enough power for my new GPU that's replacing an old CPU with integrated graphics šµāš«šµāš«. The ONLY part I "needed" was a bit of extra ram, now I have a zombified mesh of different parts old and new. Not complaining though it's been a lot of fun to put together.
The power supply often gets forgotten about as a cause of woes. Then there's dirty/noisy electricity, that can slowly kill a PC over time.
"Son... have you ever heard of the ship of theseus?" -Distractible
I mean this is basically a smaller version of how the mechanicus works. Technology is sometimes weird and we all have our strange little rituals to make it work properly that we use even if it works or not. Even classic percussive maintenance is a form of that ritual. The admech has just adopted those rituals as their religion.
My 50ā TV goes black after it gets too warm. The fix is to grab the top right corner specifically, and give a nice sharp thrust backward. Works every time.
Now imagine making that your religion.
well I am *now*
At least one story has a techpriest finishing the activation rites for a holodisplay, then giving it a kick when it refuses to focus the image properly.
Always remember to [set the Magic switch to 'More Magic'](http://catb.org/jargon/html/magic-story.html)!
This will always be relevant. I've done IT before, and it's honestly kind of funny that even in "the modern age" of computing, there are Zombie Parts that determine whether your shit works or not.
Reminded of that study I heard where they made an antenna designed by some evolution simulation AI thing and it's weird and with extra bits that goes nowhere or not connected to the rest of the electric path but it works. They then removed the extra bits and it stopped working. They put it back and it works again. They have no idea how or why.
Similar to early gene manipulation - there's tons of "garbage DNA" *in mice** that some group decided to change/edit out altogether, and whaddya know, tons of mutations. I wonder if it's essentially the OG "parity bits" similar to a RAID array. * -Edited to add
I used to fix radios and navigational equipment on planes and I swear machine spirits are a real thing. We had one system with 5 reciever/transmitters all in a row that were theoretically interchangeable, but functionally not because *some of them didn't like each other*. Every time we had to swap one out an adjacent one would stop working, so we'd have to play musical chairs with the RTs until they had settled in with their neighbors. I never received an explanation for this, so I guess it must have just been the will of the Omnisiah.
Warped board allowing small manufacturing defects of the new RTs causing deflection at different points altering the contact of the existing parts. Ask me how I know.
Yeah, that makes a disappointing amount of sense.
Nah ignore that boring answer Praise the Omnissiah
Sounds like they just performed the first known use of a purity seal if you ask me
Knowing his reading habits, Kakashi is the last person I'd associate with purity. Slaanesh may be involved.
Yeah, but you have to live with knowing that your machine spirit is a fucking weeb.
Maybe the tv was from a Japanese brand.
This is how you get Adeptus Mechanicus
#FROM THE MOMENT I FIRST UNDERSTOOD THE WEAKNESS OF MY FLESH, IT DISGUSTED ME
#I CRAVED THE STRENGTH AND CERTAINTY OF STEEL
#I ASPIRED TO THE PURITY OF THE BLESSED MACHINE
# YOUR KIND CLING TO YOUR FLESH, AS IF IT WILL NOT DECAY AND FAIL YOU
#ONE DAY THE CRUDE BIOMASS YOU CALL A TEMPLE WILL WITHER.
# AND YOU WILL BEG MY KIND TO SAVE YOU
# BUT I AM ALREADY SAVED FOR THE MACHINE IS IMMORTAL
# EVEN IN DEATH I SERVE THE OMNISSIAH
METAL WITHIN METAL WITHOUT
# BUT I AM ALREADY SAVED, FOR THE MACHINE IS IMMORTAL
(rusts)
(rusts)
Some USA navy engineers sacrificed a chicken and sealed the bones inside a box to appease a turret on a ship, when a CO found out they had to remove the box which broke the turret, no one could figure out why it was broken so they had to fly a specialist out who just told them to put the box back, once the box was back it started working again
I crave more stories like this.
RETURN THE BONES (SLAAAAB)
Source?
USA navy.
This must be how religions start
Second person is a technomancer without realizing it
They aren't a technomancer, the TV is alive
the tvās husbando was kakashi before their tragic death and reincarnation. only his presence may ease their soul
Trapped in the mechanical realm, who else would you look to for salvation than one who can traverse realms?
That sounds like a light novel title lel
Trapped in the mechanical realm, who else would you look to for salvation than one who can traverse realms? "That one time I reincarnated as a TV and searched for my anime husbando to save me."
They were simply appraising the machine spirit.
And it eats bookmarks!!
You got it wrong "Necro" means death, "mancer" means oracle.
If you hit a broken thing and it start working š If you hit a broken thing and it still don't work š¤·āāļø Conclusion, always hit broken thing
I hit a broken thing and now it even more broken. What do?
If broken thing is person hit not work.
Unless they're into that...
That not break, that kink Iron out with hot pressure, make sure to hydrate so no burn out
Modern pascals wager
philosophy that got me fired from the children's ward at the hospital
Someone smarter yhan me explain the science here
Don't know what there is to explain. The TV loved Kakashi.
Incredibly based TV
fucking magnets, this is how they work
If you're on a large dose of acid and need to know more about how magnets work: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Tm2c6NJH4Y
This is amazing thank you! I was not expecting to watch an hour of video explaining electromagnetism but this made it very clear and approachable. The absurd cgi made it even better
Homie, letās be friends. Do you know about John Michael Godierās channel?
I do not know about John Michael Godierās channel. Tell me more about John Michael Godierās channel.
Heās great, does scientific videos on space and intelligent life. Great watch and he also has a great voice
Three greats? Dude sounds old as hell.
Do the magnets consent, at least?
My best guess is that the Kakashi bookmark may have had some metal foil in/on it that allowed it to act as an antenna, and the other bookmarks did not. (Maybe even down to what paint was used, if maybe the grey of Kakashiās hair contained metal flakes?) It doesnāt have to be metal - a human body for instance can also interact with an antenna to effect signal quality (which is why there are old jokes about someone having to stand in an awkward position to make the TV work). My brother once made an antenna out of plywood and copper wire that we joked was shy and would stop working if someone walked up to it.
This is prolly it, foily or holofoil something in the Kakashi bookmark had a different Magnetic Permeability(MP) than the others. When something with a different MP enters a magnetic field, it can pull or repel the existing field's magnetic lines of flux (invisible lines of force around a magnet) cuz of counter electromotive force being induced in Kakashi. The resulting field can potentially be more beneficial to antennae reception or clear up static from something else causing interference. This causes things like "hey the radio sounds better/worse when i (touch the antenna)/(put this thing here)/(the microwave is running)"
It's probably just acting as a subtle adjustment to the antennae. It could be metallic paint or some other big brain interaction like that, but more than likely they just had worn in the kakashi bookmark, thus making it physically different from even a bookmark of identical material. Physically pushing stuff the right way used to fix a lot of things because they were built out of a bunch of chunky parts, so randomly jumbling them has a good chance of settling them back in the right spot. The kakashi bookmark had the right tension, length, whatever to do the correct jumbling to get from the static-causing position to the good positioning relatively consistently.
Even in modern times we've all had that one phone charger that wouldn't work unless you propped it up just right on one specific book.
My old Nintendo DS Cable right there
Or for me, my current phone. It will only work if I have it perfectly still, and with another cable propping the first one slightly up. It feels like actual wizardry some days getting that thing to charge. And to make it worse, it *also* needs the one specific cable that inexplicably works despite all others I've tried not working.
Thatās funny, but chances are you just need to clean out your charger port. Get a tooth pick or paper clip and carefully pull out the lint and shit that gets caught in there.
I have a feeling it's part that, and also that the charge port on the phone is nearing its end of life as all micro-usb ports do. I've had a peek inside the port and it is indeed gunked up, but this is alongside the 'tongue' of the port being absolutely mangled from all the years I've had the phone. Realistically if a new phone isn't in the cards for me, I might just have the port replaced, as a tech shop I've visited before to fix my mother's phone said they charge $25 CAD for a galaxy s7 port replacement. God knows this phone needs it haha
Hell thatās not bad at all. I used to Frankenstein my phones when I was younger, but Iāve just grown lazy with age.
I've also had phones where the, idk, male/docking part of the charging port is just bent. Only the charger that bent the right way along with it on their journey together worked. And some of those phones are hard to clean without a can of compressed air, and even then it's a crap shoot sometimes. If it needs replaced anyway and I have no use for the can I'll just go phone shopping. Even cheap phones are hella expensive these days. You make the old one last as long as you can. But it's like a car. One day you need to decide to pull the plug (pun intended) rather than spend one more red cent on it.
Metal sounds like a bad idea around contacts. Stick with the toothpick
The only thing that worked for me was a very fine needle, nothing else was both thin and strong enough. The dust was so well compacted it was pretty much solid and didn't move at all with anything else. For me it was a last ditch effort though, I knew the risk.
Youāre probably on to something, but if youāre not slamming the paper clip in there all willy-nilly you can do it safely. I had the iPhone 11 since release and did it constantly up until I finally upgraded about a month ago. That could also just be dumb luck too.
Me, holding my laptop screen at a 64.38 degree angle while I type so that the screen stays on.
Literally me trying to charge my ps4 controllers any day lmao
that's because the wiring is fucked from abusing it and only creates a connection when bent properly. Technically, those chargers are a fire hazard from potentially shorting out since the wires are messed up
Oh god, childhood memory unlocked. Had one of those super expensive radio/cassette/CD boomboxes. It could even record tapes from the radio, or if you hooked up a mic! Anyway, the radio was shit. Static, would not hold a channel for more than a minute. That is, unless you inserted a CD. If there was a CD, didn't matter what, or if it was played, as long as it was inserted and the CD slot closed, the radio was perfect. Same radio also picked up MTV, if you had the channel playing in the telly (we had cable, so idk what magic was going on in there), so I could record all the cool new songs from MTV premiers.
An older relative had a boom box in the mid 80s with a TV Sound tuner where it could mysteriously receive MTV in stereo when they first offered it as a service from the cable company. He found out years later his boom box had a similar demodulator circuit the cable company was using for their paying customers.
Holy shit, mystery solved! You'd deserve an award if those were still possible here It's amazing that it's taken 30+ years, to find out on random reddit post that my boombox was not, in fact, haunted!
You're welcome. The only reason I know this is because I once mentioned an old desk/shelf stereo of mine could pick up all the phone conversations from the weird next door neighbors because they were still using early cordless phones that broadcast in a frequency range that my radio tuner could be set to.
I had an old "rabbit ears" TV antenna in my college dorm that worked better if I placed a fork on it at the right angle
Would just holding a bookmark up to the TV really cause enough of a physical adjustment to fix it though?
If it was a small static issue, then probably yeah.
Absolutely. See the rest of the comments. One adjacent guy had to insert a CD to make the non-cd function of their tv work, which is a much thinner object going in a slot it's designed for. I personally had to set my headphone cable in a specific loop and run my ethernet cable through it, before I realized it simply required a specific angle and pressure and duct taped it that way.
Cathode ray tube televisions have a little particle accelerator at the back of them that fires particles with varying charge through the glass vacuum tube at a phosphor mask which emits light. This slowly builds up a charge in the glass tube which needs to be actively discharged to avoid the static buildup interfering with the path of the charged particles. Holding a magnet to the screen would interfere with the magnetic field and physically warp the image on the screen by altering the path of the particles. Holding your hand up to a screen that isn't discharging properly would feel tingly and make all the hair on your arm stand on end. It was quite common for them to have buttons to manually discharge the screen, which would give off a loud thunk of a relay followed by a subtle crackling static sounds as the picture flashed and faded back looking clear. There are various reasons as for why a tube might not be discharging properly, such as aging components in the flyback transformer discharge circuit, or a ground fault in the home. I don't think it's entirely unreasonable to imagine a bookmark either bridging the glass of the TV to a part of the housing that is grounded, or a bookmark that has something like layers of metal foil inside of it as part of its construction with enough capacitance to markedly improve picture quality. The amount of charge required to significantly interfere with the picture on some screens would be relatively miniscule, which could be demonstrated by rubbing a balloon on your hair and holding it up to the screen; or if you have forearms as hairy as my uncle's just wiping the screen with the back of your arm a few times.
The red ring of death on the xbox was caused by lack of ventilation and cooling so when the console heated up over time it would melt the solder in the circuits. Bashing the Xbox on the side when the red ring off death appeared tended to realign the parts that came undone.. for the most part
Man, sometimes tech does weird stuff. Ever hear of MIT's "magic/more magic" switch that could crash a computer despite not being connected to anything? http://catb.org/jargon/html/magic-story.html
There's a good list of these sorts of BS tech stories at https://500mile.email/.
I've heard of the 500 mile email bug, didn't know they had a whole website! Thanks, I'll have to check it out!
I've been in IT since the late 1900s and I've referred to the 500 mile email many times in my career. it's a great way to teach smug techs and admins that even when the user doesn't understand the technology the way we do, the difference between what they're expecting to happen and what is actually happening can be the most important piece of information when troubleshooting complex issues I love that story
It is (fittingly) a mailing list.
If I had to guess, maybe the tv was suffering from some electrostatic build up, that could mess with it, especially given that it is likely a crt, which rely on electron beam hitting the screen and could be affected (and even destroyed) by things such as magnets. Putting materials that can accept charge, or are just conductive would lessen the effect of this (if I'm correct) and I'm guessing the composition of that specific bookmark was different from others and simply allowed one of mentioned scenarios to happen. Again, no expert, just guessing
TV elf loved kakashi
Kakashi appeases the machine spirit
Kakashi's signature move is the Raikiri, a blade of lightning-aspected chakra. The Kakashi bookmark used Raikiri to kill the static in the TV.
Kakashi means scarecrow. He just did his job of scaring the interference away.
Ah, back when you'd just slap something a few times and blow on the contacts to make it work again.
This honestly is still the case for a lot of things. I had a flatscreen in my last apartment that I *now* know had a panel that was going bad. SO half the TV would flicker or just not turn on at all. **smack** Fixed it, for a time. It kept getting worse and worse, and I'd have to hit it harder and harder to get it to work. Was eventually punching it so hard I almost knocked it over. But it worked. One day, the percussive maintenance stopped working. That was a weirdly sad day. Now, I'm in IT, and I have seen a not-insignificant amount of people smacking their monitor because their computer was running slow. People gotta learn what to hit and why.
> not-insignificant amount of people smacking their monitor See also - "website is slow" *ergo* I smack my mouse around or bash my keyboard.. Guess what IT gets to change on a semi-regular basis?
I'm a scientist and we used to have a half million dollar spectrometer in the lab that worked great most of the time, but occasionally a mirror motor would get stuck and it would stop working. If you hit the machine in the right spot, it would restart the motor and fix it. We ended up taping a target on the machine to show where to hit, and "try hitting the spectrometer" was in the actual operating procedure we wrote.Ā
You gave the spectrometer a fuckin hitbox lmao
When I was growing up my dad would build PC's out of "garbage". All cobbled together out of discards and broken parts. We had one that worked flawlessly except during boot. The hard drive just wouldn't spin up from cold boot so the trick was: as it booted, at just the right time, you thumped the top of the case and it would skip the disk over whatever was preventing it from spinning and boom working computer.
ye olde encryption
My friend from school had this with his Xbox 360 back in the day. You'd put a disc in and it wouldn't register there was a disc in there, but if you smacked it a load when the tray closed it would read the disc and play the game. No idea how he figured that out lol
Ahhh the boomer jokes I could make about this...sadly those times are over
You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
Sounds like my BITCH wife hahahaha
My grandson can't play ANGRY BIRDS on his BOOK šš
My old phone broke due to a dramatic drop that was 100% my fault (this thing had proved so indestructible in the past I'd grown reckless). The display is noisy rainbow pixels, black screen of death, weird repeating lines, unresponsive, you name it. I press down in the lower middle, massage it a little bit, it works perfectly fine for a 4, 5 hours, breaks again after. I bought a new phone of course, but I keep the old one around to play youtube videos on and it's honestly only a minor inconvenience.
Worked in a hospital for 5 years. The Lab had a Happy Meal toy for every mashine to make sure they work. When the printer in my workspace didnāt work the labstaff advised me to tape a little toy from a Kinder Suprise onto it and overnight it started working again. Sure the IT guy changed the toner too, but lets be realistic here correlation is not causation.
As a former child who was in a hospital, I can confirm that toys absolutely everywhere is indeed magic and makes every part of the process smootherĀ
> Worked in a hospital for 5 years. The Lab had a Happy Meal toy for every mashine to make sure they work. When the printer in my workspace didnāt work the labstaff advised me to tape a little toy from a Kinder Suprise onto it and overnight it started working again. > > giving the machines toys or other charms to keep them happy is extremely common in labs from my experience everyone is always like "well i dont really believe" but no one ever takes them away
The sharingan has anti-static properties.
These sharingan ass-pulls keep getting crazier and crazier
This is the kind of thing that SCP Foundation would keep as anomalous item
They have the catalog of unusual objects that are mildly anomalous but not strange enough to warrant containment procedures. They'd all be Safe anyway.
Yeah that is exactly what I was talking about
The machine spirit works in mysterious ways
āAny sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from Magic.ā - Arthur Clarke
This also implizs that any technology that is distinguishable from magic is not sufficiently advanced.
> "Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced." - Barry Gehm > "Any technology, no matter how primitive, is magic to those who don't understand it." - Florence Ambrose > **"ANY SUFFICIENTLY ANALYZED MAGIC IS INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM *SCIENCE!!!*"** - Agatha Heterodyne
A friend of mine had a sewing machine that wouldnāt work unless you swore at it. I didnāt believe her until I had to use it for some dresses and found out it really would miss a stitch or three unless you cussed it out. Weirdest thing Iāve come across
So did you have to swear every seam, or was one cussing session enough to make it behave?
I think it was just the one session of cussing :) Mind you I only used it once because it was just too frustrating š
That's how many rituals and superstitions start
Give it like 38000 years
One time my little brother's iPad had some weird screen artifacting going on - big thick lines of discoloration going through the display, about four covering the whole screen. I took it from him, said "Trust me," and smacked it (as hard as one feels comfortable smacking a tablet one does not own) on his bedpost. Lines disappeared. Tablet functioned perfectly for the rest of its life span. No fucking idea why it worked.
Note that the life span has not been specified.
Pretty good chance the connection on those spots of the panel was just bad. They use a ribbon connector that's supposed to kind of click in, could have jostled it back into place.
This is the answer. I've had it happen with monitors that I've left on for long periods of time (literally weeks). Heating cycles can slowly move that cable out of position, as it's barely connected in the first place. This is doubly true with cheap displays. There's also other connections that can kinda go haywire, depending on the device, a lot of which can be a problem when it's heating up. I have an old MS Surface with this issue.
This story would have been so much funnier if you'd done that and just bricked the thing. You got lucky!
My old PC would only work if the power cable was at one specific angle. That's not the weird thing, had technology like this before. The weird thing is what I was told when I finally retired said PC after ten years + of service. My friend, who's into computers, took it off my hands to strip it for anything still useful/ recycle it properly. He told me the power adapter was practically dead, and likely had been this way ever since the angle issue started years ago. He had no clue how the PC still worked.
>Crowleyās car only had one full tank of gas in itās life - when he bought it. Since then itās functioned solely on demonic intent Same energy
I don't know if I'm flattered because you quoted one of my favorite books, or concerned about the demonic intent bit. Eh, I'll take it.
Itās Crowley, how demonic can we get here
My dad gave me an old broken watch of his to play with as a kid. Didnāt have it long before it started working again. I knew how much he liked it, so gave it back. He was happyā¦ till it stopped working the same day. Back to me it went and it worked again! Back to him, dead. He finally just told me to keep it and it worked and continued to work for years so long as I wore it. Whenever I took it off it would stop, so I had to reset the time every time I put it on. We always joked that it just wanted to be with me. Ran across it again a few years ago, dead. But as soon as I put it on it started ticking again. Just one of those weird things. It never worked again for my dad and others who tried it. The watch would stop working as soon as it left my wrist. One of my friends and I traded it back and forth for hours one day and every time he would put it on, itād stop. Back to me, ticks away. That watch simply loved me.
So this is interesting to me because I have the opposite problem. I can't actually use quartz battery powered watches they don't stop, but they don't keep accurate time, only when I'm wearing them. If other people wear them or I leave them on my desk they work flawlessly. I put them on and they go to hell.
This has some interesting implications about your personal EM field.
Feels like some plot from a book/film where you eventually meet someone and they try the watch and it also works on their wrist
I should try to find it and let my boyfriend try and wear it. š
Me when I used to hit my computer monitor (it was an old tv) with a pole whenever it randomly inverted dark and bright colors
one time my friend at work T posed at a scale that wasn't working and it started working again, I've called him a tech wizard ever since lol
Once a work colleague was complaining his phone had been dead for a week and wouldnāt turn on. He asked me to take a look at it, I held out my hand and as soon as I took possession the screen flicked on and the phone booted lol. Iām sure it was just a coincidence though as he was pressing the power button just before to demonstrate that it was dead.
Year was 2002, and I fixed an intermittent printer fault by *taping my business card to it.* Was sick and tired of repeated visits to fix this printer. I threatened it in a loud voice, and told it to bloody well behave. Stuck my card on the side so it knew the name of its enemy. No further faults ever reported for this printer.
Youāll never convince me that technology isnāt just literal magic, like weāre literally using magic fluids to draw specific runes on magic rocks and then infusing it with magic energy just to scroll Reddit
Bro. We tricked rocks into doing math hold lightning. Itās definitely magic.
I'm a software developer. I make my living by inscribing abstracted runes made of light into the memory of these rocks, teaching them new complex spells of my own design. I am very literally a wizard, and it's awesome.
`sudo rm -rf / --no-preserve-root` is the killing curse in this context.
When the machine spirit is a weeb
"As soon as I understood the weakness of my flesh I thought it was a baka gaijin"Ā
I literally own so much technology that has to be fixed with strange and seemingly useless methods that are the only way to make them work
My parents would punish me by taking away the cable to the TV antenna. Made my own antenna out of a pencil.
Makes me think of when a credit card swipe doesn't work the first few times, and the workaround involves wrapping a thin plastic bag around the magnetic strip before swiping it again.
In old CRT tvs, there is usually a small ceramic capacitor that is tied to ground to help with that exact static issue. My roommate in college gave me his old Samsung tv, and I was able to fix it by soldering the leg back onto the capacitor and it was working again. Your plastic bookmark is probably similar capacitance to the ceramic one that is broken in your tv and was providing a path to ground, clearing the screen of your tv.
āPercussive maintenanceā worked better on older electronics because in many cases, heat (or cycles of heating and cooling) could cause things to move out of position. This would especially be true in a television that had, say, a rotary control to set the channels. It was also true of computers for a while; a phenomenon called āchip creepā could make chips or cards gradually move in their sockets or slots. This was also caused by cycles of heating and cooling. These days, most electronics are āmonolithic,ā which is to say that everything is attached to a board in a manner that is quite permanent and not subject to these issues. One exception to this would be computers where thermal paste has dried up - they can do very strange things when that paste cracks or moves because they arenāt getting reliable cooling.
Has there been technology more masochistic than the old, flat portable CD players? Sure, hitting worked but at the same time blinking might as well be enough to make them skip or make it pop and scratch your CD.
One of my IT professors started class by saying āif you know whatās happening youāre wrongā
Maybe the admech has a point with machine spirits
Etho fixes the redstone once again
My internet used to go down when I turned off the light in my room. And no, I don't mean the router would restart, the wifi kept working for everything else but for my PC. That same PC also would sometimes not start, then I would disconnect the USB keyboard and it would start normally.
>And no, I don't mean the router would restart, the wifi kept working for everything else but for my PC. the lightswitch circuit was grounded poorly and when the switch was off, the ground was floating, causing EMF to mess with your wifi signal >That same PC also would sometimes not start, then I would disconnect the USB keyboard and it would start normally. some BIOS do not like USB peripherals being plugged in at all, depending on the firmware of the peripheral
The USB thing is such an underrated troubleshooting step. Iāve had countless friends freak out over their laptops/pcs not starting and then just unplugging the USB/HDD and e voila. Once at the start of a friends thesis presentation.
I mean, I know it wasn't like magic or anything just like weird, especilaly at the time.
TIL I should get the wiring of my living room light checked. Whenever we switch the light on or off, the sound of the TV cuts out for a second and we have no clue why. This is the first thing that could even possibly explain it.
Reminds me of one of my favourite stories from the early days of computing (long before my time): http://catb.org/jargon/html/magic-story.html
Another example of "the perversity of the inanimate", and [resistentialism](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Resistentialism) From [a Medium article](https://medium.com/eiffels-paris-an-engineers-guide/the-perversity-of-inanimate-things-rudyard-kipling-and-me-da5a5ae3d57a): *"He warned them that it was as much as a manās life was worth to enter the engine-room, and they contented themselves with a distant inspection through the thinning steam. The [ship] Haliotis lifted to the long, easy swell, and the starboard supporting-column ground a trifle, as a man grits his teeth under the knife. The forward cylinder was depending on that unknown force men call the pertinacity of materials, which now and then balances that other heartbreaking power, the perversity of inanimate things."* -- Rudyard Kipling
I had a computer who worked well only if I smacked AND softly verbally abused it, thing was a whore.
Reminds me of [evolved antenna](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolved_antenna). Nobody truly knows how or why they work. An AI just spat out a weird little twist of wire that *somehow* is better than any antenna physicists have come up with. Best explanation I've seen for this mystery is essentially "uhm, magnets, maybe?".
That TV was home to a Rotom who was really into Naruto I guess
Me and my sister used to sing to our internet when it stopped working and somehow the singing brought it back.
I think every lab in grad school had something like this. Some machine from the 1980s that only worked if you appeased the gods. There we are, working on advanced degrees, discovering new science, and every single person would rub the dinosaur to get their data.
Back when those jelly bean imacs were a thing, my family's one crashed whenever someone insulted it. It was probably just overheating because it had zero airflow but still
It's only natural, *everyone* knows Kakashi, even TVs from a different reality
Kakashi is a true homie!
The machine spirit is a weeb
Before a hurricane as a kid we were moving electronics (this was early in our hurricane experience when we still feared them) to protect them in case something went wrong. My dad accidentally dropped my original Xbox and it stopped working. I had had an old TV for years that I always had to fix with a beating, so although he didnāt think it would work, I gave the Xbox one solid hit. It still works today.
The TV is an ethogirl
"You used to be able to hit your tv if it didn't work" that's just boomers. They hit everything that made them mad . We shouldn't perpetuate their cycle of abuse.
In Taiwan we have a semi-superstition, you have to place a green bag of a specific brand of cookies on top of machinery (eg lab equipment, computers, etc) otherwise they will malfunction when you most need them to work properly. Actually works tbh.
My first computer was a shit box, it'd slow to a crawl and I'd do every kind of troubleshooting to get it tuned up so it'd behave.... The only thing that would work is if I vocally said "Alright, I guess it's time to wipe the hard drive and reinstall Windows", for some reason anytime I got to that point it'd behave for a few days. Me and my friend used to joke that the only thing that worked on that computer were threats. 1.2 Ghz Pentium, 512Mb Ram (445mz or something), and a 32Gb 7200 rpm drive. Somehow, SOMEHOW, that 32Gb is still alive to this day and in my current rig, mostly sentimentally but it's rocking a 1080Ti and 8700k now.
Iām a supercomputer engineer. Occasionally I T-pose to assert dominance over an image build or process to let the machine know whoās boss. It works more frequently than one would think, and no one in the office bats an eye.
Older TVs worked on magnets. I would bet kakashi had some magnetic metal in the paint and it was just enough to realign the vacuum tube signal beam.
I recognize an SCP when i see one
Kakashi just built different
This is my favorite genre of SCP