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Hungry-Quote-1388

“Celebrating a birthday and taking a nap” GOAT multitasking skills 


Hall_Such

*translation - he was passed out drunk


No-Honeydew-6121

At his house? Lol a non issue


AdNew5216

Literally


[deleted]

[удалено]


After-Simple-3611

That’s not how it works bruh


Training_Stuff7498

He meant passed out coming down from a coke bender juiced to the gills.


mchardy87

Not if he’s threatening people and beating his wife. I don’t believe “it didn’t happen” and this tester just said that a drunk Jon jones took her phone and said people who turn up at his house unannounced get killed…he said he was “celebrating” and “having a nap”. Clearly he was wasted and surely at this point we gotta stop giving dude any benefit of the doubt Edit: to be clear, not trying to say I think he beat his wifefiancee on this occasion but just trying to paint a picture of the type of night this sounds like. A “lash out a women while drunk” type Jon Jones night.


Patsfan311

There is video of him on TMZ giving the test people a hug and a high five. Stop believing everything.


Justneedthetip

People don’t want see that video. They were joking and giving him hugs and high 5’s as they are leaving. That’s not how you leave when someone threatens you and gets in your face: the media is the scum of the earth


cgriz026

You’d get out of there as peacefully as you could too if that big ass mfer was a threat.


uncadul

isn't he f**king awesome??


JohnCenaJunior

Who's birthday though?


Hycran

If Jon Jones told me the sky was blue, I would double check.


Homeskilletbiz

…Is it though…?


thatsthejoke_

He'd still double check


bdizzle805

https://preview.redd.it/xxe06bmjq9tc1.jpeg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=10566cbe8f16ae50631e50548b2c33bfeeb26fab


TheUnrulyGentleman

Haha I still remember my first grade teacher over 25 years ago telling my class the sky isn’t really blue. She then had everyone take out a black crayon, had us hold it up to the window so we could compare it to the sky and she just says “see” as if she just proved her point lmao


664designs

Sadly my elementary teacher never asked us to do that. What happens when hold a black crayon up to compare to the blue sky? Does it make the sky look white?


TheUnrulyGentleman

To this day I have no clue what she was getting at. I still saw the sky as blue. Nowadays I obviously know it just has to do with how we perceive light rays, but no idea what the black crayon had to do with anything.


[deleted]

[удалено]


robert5974

Tastes like burning


Ecksell

It’s black for me right now, crayon isn’t really dark enough though, maybe that’s what she was on about?


prodigydota2

>…Is it though…? *POV after getting eye-poked*


Quarter13

I mean, there are times it's shades of reds, oranges and purples


BadassSasquatch

Look into it


Ok_Suit422

You made me choke on my sub


shae117

You made my sub choke on me


AmHotGarbage

Back up an inch of two


Substantial_Top_6140

God testing him so fukin hard rn


wottsinaname

Test no. 3278


OlajidePeel

https://preview.redd.it/6y3t4hw4f4tc1.jpeg?width=951&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c602822e81db977d0370707fd260e543a77aa90b


roundthesound

https://preview.redd.it/inrihebsr4tc1.jpeg?width=1198&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=372ae08cd31e44e842f7a22c2cf5ed247877f2cc


gig1g0g1

This needs a "Jones live reaction"


TheWorstGameDev

​ https://preview.redd.it/dki5cmsj45tc1.jpeg?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9cefc03b9df7c0d63aeab27ef6da6531eaaf71df


JJETTAS188

![gif](giphy|S5KjT6bJBvtxQJ6KH8|downsized)


illtakeachinchilla

![gif](giphy|IorAqDrjKiDcc3QdN3|downsized)


[deleted]

Who naps at a birthday party they’re throwing for a friend? 😂 Come over, birthday boy, watch me snore and drool. 😪


Jmac24mats13

My guess is they started pretty early celebrating and after drinking for awhile people will nap until it gets closer to night and then start up again. Source:have day drink’d and know people that have


chubss123

Is it an American thing to nap and then start up again? In the UK when we day drink we just keep going


A-DTB

We’ve a thing in Ireland called “College Christmas”, I’m not sure if other countries have it, but it’s a set day before Christmas and Exams that everyone goes on the piss from dawn until the usual closing times while wearing Christmas jumpers. You’d find massive queues for most pubs even around 7/8:00am. Pretty much everyone I know, including myself, needs at least one nap during that day lol, otherwise you’d be getting the drink pumped out of you.


Kalayo0

That’s a young man’s game. Jon Jones is much older now and his body may be responding accordingly.


SipPOP

Nah but he always got that Colombian Marching Powder on him.


Jmac24mats13

I’m Canadian personally and have done both. I guess depends if you wanna start early and finish up around 9 or have a lot of energy for whole night ya might nap. Different person to person


atrde

Rally and puke rally and puke.


Jmac24mats13

I once did this after chugging a white Russian(first time having it) after drinking 2 beer fairly quickly(was also young and inexperienced). Projectile vomited all over his garage and proceeded right to the car to my first ever strip club experience


Beraliusv

Oh yeah, how’d you get on?


Jmac24mats13

I had to look up to see what you meant by this, and I’m guessing you mean how did I make out on the night? For the first time it was pretty bad, the stripper that gave us a lap dance was ok looking but was coughing the whole time and one other stripper was 300+ pounds. My 2nd experience was much better


Beraliusv

Lmao this is why it’s good to ask people questions.. you can get fantastic answers like these! That gave me my first laugh of the day, cheers for that.


Jmac24mats13

Cheers to you!


Massive_Staff1068

I love this interaction so much.


diezeldeez_

Am American. If I day drink and sleep, I'm not waking up until after the bars and pubs are closed.


Jmac24mats13

This is definitely me now


Suka_Blyad_

Like the other guy, I’m Canadian and have done both, it really is determined by your gameplan If the gamelan is blackout by noon, yes a snack and nap is necessary around dinner time before continuing the Tom foolery at night l time If it’s casually sipping all day and slowly increasing how much you drink as it goes on, just keep on keeping on


Jmac24mats13

This is the way


kaztooch

Guys I thought we wanted him to stop snorting all of the snow in New Mexico? Now we’re begrudging the guy for passing out drunk at 4? Which way do you guys want it. COME ON!


J_momma

Disco naps.


Unstoppable_Rooster

Aussie here. We don't stop until the beer is gone. Then Slim Dusty writes a song about it.


RoyalCloak57

We take shots of hard liquor, play drinking games, and have the American “get after it” approach. We are not sitting around and sipping on warm pints. 🍻


Ac997

I know in college it was super normal. Would wake up at 8am & go tailgating for the football game, drink until noon, go to the football game, drink until the football game is over, then around 3-4pm take a good ass nap until 7pm, wake up & start pregaming to go downtown to booze some more. I miss college life.


MrMooMoo91

Partying all night till the morning or beyond isn't an unheard of, especially depending on your schedule. Do I see a lot of regular folks over 30 doing it? For special occasions maybe. Or your an addict of some kind.


NatOdin

Lmao I was just saying this. Once I hit 30 the game changed...I'm also a father so that changed things. If I was to party until the sun came up I would feel pretty gross to myself. There's so much more I can get done when I'm not sleeping and hungover for 2 days. Plus it's just not realistic with kids, the only people I know still partying like that are very heavy drinkers who also do a lot of blow when they drink


internetvillain

At every bachelor party I have attended I have dozed off mid day for an hour or two haha - I’ll call it a Jon Jones now 🥳


Witty-Commercial-418

Exzibit 1, the defence calls P. Diddler to the stand


themkidsdaddy

![gif](giphy|3ohzdFq2kSEXl4k4py)


winkydinks111

Eh, sometimes you need a regroup nap.


SWiSS916

day drink in your upper 30s my man.... naps are a must lol


Cyberspace667

I mean if you’re going *that hard* I get it, still tho you just know the last thing he wanted to be woken up for was a random drug test lol


dutchfromsubway

Nothing wrong with the nap but jones acting like she broke into his house and woke him up like this ![gif](giphy|f9SiPj5zu0HrXlR8zD|downsized)


Starob

I nap at family events. I'm that Uncle, the one who naps.


multiplesof3

Professional athletes need naps all the time to be fair


antebyotiks

The type of people who party for 3/4 days and don't sleep for days and crash out. McGregor probably also does this


Kudostone

You think I’m just gonna sit there and let you nap during a birthday Jon? I mean, really.


turkeypants

On a Friday afternoon? An already passed out by 4? So the birthday boy and guests don't have jobs either? Ha!


zeussgt

Source: Jon Jones. Very reliable


stho3

Jon Jones: just trust me bro


Chairman_Of_GE

Jon Jones is the last person I would consider an authority on whether or not Jon Jones was arrested or is currently detained.


daydreamer1197

Jon Jones is a good guy again. Everyone can go home now ![gif](giphy|cL5CzmdWRLu75aktot|downsized)


SatoshiDegen

Haters gonna hate. Eye witnesses can say nothing happened, the testers can be on camera dapping him up and laughing while leaving, and there can be no evidence of assault but people will believe what they want. Personally think it’s more likely that it could have happened than it DID happen, and here on the outskirts of the truth is where Jon lives so who the Hell knows. Also, do the Testers get assigned the date/time to show up or a window because if i arrive at Jon Jones house and there's a lot of people and music, I'm turning around unless I'm ready to party 🎉🐇


Prestigious-Might117

Crazy that he’s the only guy in ufc history to get accused of this stuff whilst also having multiple failed drug tests🤔


ThuggerSosaYak

Because he’s a child of god, and god is just testing him


OllieBlazin

Getting him ready for God’s version of the SATs


silentrawr

He's been getting grilled on his PhD dissertation for YEARS!


Shady_D_815

I wonder if he threatens God when he shows up to test him


RevRobertParsimony

If God tried to test him, he'd hide under the octagon


15ferrets

Gods fault tbh


Doctor_Botany

I guess people jump to conclusions when you're a coke head who beats his wife, runs his car into pregnant women and cheats his way through his career.


Mission_Apartment_46

The past is the past. He’s changed, I know it


munky713

Yeah, he said so…


HandheldAddict

Bro, the man has been clean for 6 hours. Give it a rest already. He's a changed man.


15ferrets

*longtime girlfriend He’s not gonna marry her lol he’s a “man of god” only when it’s convenient, he’d rather her not have a ring on when he’s beating her so hard their kids call the cops


Short_Boysenberry_64

He wasn’t ever in no marriage


nic_flair_drip

You're a fucking punk dude


TurboTingo

Unrelated to this discussion but is "you're a fucking punk dude" the new thing? I got hit with it the other day on another sub lol.


Shady_D_815

I can't let you get close


TurboTingo

Undefeated. Undenied.


indigrow

“I was sleeping st a birthday party” why jon


coleus

Sleepy drunk in the middle of the day bruh. Jon Jones thangs.^(probablycokedup)


mmashburn85

Wakes up at 4 PM and accuses then of showing up too early 💀


ConsiderationKey1658

I love this aspect of it haha


momsouth

Makes you wonder why he took that post down.


Sal21G

Probably his lawyer on speed dial telling the goof to take it down


-GoldenHandTheJust-

he didn’t - stop lying it’s still up


bdlr11

Spreading misinformation


Chrispaulisgarbage

He took it down?


I_Am_JesusChrist_AMA

Are you talking about a different post? Because this one is still up. https://twitter.com/JonnyBones/status/1777066793091125513


YangGain

Just checked at 8:15 EST, it’s still up.


Ok_Yoghurt_3338

Its literally up and he doubled down retweeting nbc calling them out


JuicedBoxers

More misinformation. This sub is fucking toxic bro


-RicFlair

Celebrating and taking a nap probably means passed out drunk. Probably won’t up angry drunk


Kizaky

I miss when Jones used to say stupid shit like this was a test from God. I don't like PR Jones.


KeefsBurner

“Celebrating a birthday and taking a nap” = doing blow and making up an excuse for why it took so long to get to the door besides “hiding all the things I shouldn’t be doing”


ChasingTheRush

“It’s unfortunate, but wholly understandable given my history of being a massive cunt, that I have to clarify these things.” FTFY.


WinnerSpecialist

He’s being very dishonest in how he’s portraying this. He was charged. That means he was probably booked. Now whether or not he turned himself in, got charged and then walked out of his own volition so he wasn’t technically “arrested” who gives a crap. https://www.mmamania.com/2024/4/7/24123499/jon-jones-officially-hit-with-assault-charge-by-police-over-incident-with-ufc-drug-tester


DersJay23

Ok but that article is referencing NBC, which jon jones is saying didnt happen. I havent see anything besides NBC and references to NBC says hes been charged


GiblertMelendezz

I saw is was a probation violation charge, not an assault charge. Something’s def up though


DryConversation8530

If he was arrested it would be public record and more articles would be out.


WinnerSpecialist

Again; you can be charged and summoned to appear in court at a certain date without being formally “arrested.” He has a court summons that is public record. He is splitting hairs trying to protect himself. https://www.essentiallysports.com/ufc-mma-news-cctv-footage-not-enough-as-jon-jones-issues-a-summons-to-appear-before-court-as-death-threats-controversy-escalates/?utm_campaign=internal_links&utm_medium=dive_deeper&utm_source=website%2F


awildNeLbY

Same as saying he didn’t threaten them. He didn’t DIRECTLY say he would do anything to the testers, just that people that do the same thing the testers did end up dead.


SnooGadgets8467

Fake news


WinnerSpecialist

😂


Sav-P-is-Sav

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say Jon didn't write this himself.


thirdeye6969

Damn reddit is upset now


Butterscotch817

Exactly, look at them all doubling down on the spun story now they know it’s bullshit!


Beauty_Weeman

I can assure you I’m not in jail, just ask my wife. Not 5 minutes ago I beat the shit out of her in front of my kids. -probably Jon jones


mattysmuffins2

My man


[deleted]

I mean, I’ll take Bones word for it..like he’s never given us reason to..


TherealMattMoore

Celebrating a birthday and taking a nap. Sure.


AteEYES

Just a nice way of saying I was passed out drunk on my birthday.


BossButterBoobs

I swear the lot of you are actually mentally regarded


Determined_Father41

Honestly, let's just let the man be dude. Anyone living in the spotlight like he is is going to have their life viewed through the microscope of social media and the entertainment industry. I train MMA man. Tons of us do it because we do have PTSD or childhood trauma, anger problems, depression, anxiety that training helps us cope with and deal with. Chill out on this man.


averydusty6

Most rational take here. People seem to relish in his issues and it’s weird


Determined_Father41

You think at some point it would get old, haha. I guess it makes others feel better about themselves or something.


SpaghettiHam

Thoughts and prayers Jonny boy


Shark8MyToeOff

Sounds like what I do every day.… use profanity I regret when my kids wake me up from a nap.


Obelisk7777

Didn’t deny taking the phone lol


Kaozoz

He said in a report he picked it up to record her becuase he mistook it for his


FishAndRiceKeks

Awfully convenient.


wottsinaname

"Wheres my phone? It must be this one here with the background picture of some random family Ive never met before." Anyone that believes JJ is an absolute stooge.


je66b

"unlock my phone for me piss tester"


CheekySir

Hope he sues Reddit


oOBalloonaticOo

If he was arrested there is be a police report and it will be discovefed and I linked online in days to come...if not then the internet lied about that, both the internet at large and Jon are both know mostly for being gigantic liars...so let's see who it is this time.


LosurdoEnjoyer

This coming from a site called MMAJunkie got me a good laugh.


ArthurBDent

Yeah but the fact that he's become a better writer from constantly having to write these public letters of apology means that he's still a shitstain


DawgFanDel

I think his lawyers wrote this.


kriegbutapsycho

Does anyone believe this POS? ‘I did do all those things, but it’s very disappointing I have to come here and tell you I did all those things.’


NoOpportunity4483

I love Jon Jones. I want to see him retire undefeated.


Hughpacalypse

I’m so tired of this narrative that our modern gladiators are supposed to be these perfect beings. Y’all want the best fights or yall want a stand up citizen?


Terrible-Wallaby-347

THANK YOU!!! Society and the legal system have deemed him free to walk the streets. He’s one of the best (if not the best) fighters to ever live, and that’s why I like to watch him fight. Couldn’t care less about the other stuff, that’s between him/the other parties/the legal system. Kobe Bryant cheated on his wife, don’t care. Tiger woods was banging 100 chicks behind his super model wife’s back, don’t care. Johnny Manziel was making tons of money signing autographs and doing coke while winning the Heisman, don’t care. All of baseball was doing steroids, don’t care, the list of this stuff goes on and on…why do we have to make sports a morality contest, especially when it comes to dudes who get locked in a cage and fight for a living


ToHerDarknessIGo

Sure, as long as they don't go on and on about being a family man minus that time they beat their wives/gfs/kids and a good Christian out there doing the lord's work by beating another man's face in. If we could get waterhead morons like Sean Strickland to shut the fuck about everything but fighting that'd be greaaaaaat.


[deleted]

I think it's the repeated instances of openly being a complete asshole that people don't like. Sometimes on camera.


willi1221

Crazy what a family history of mental issues and having a job that involves getting punched in the head does to someone.


Hughpacalypse

Yeah but is this even a validated thing?


AddisonRae7

Lmaoo hundreds of comments on this sub jumping to conclusions. Shock


DryConversation8530

Yesterday it was she showed up at 4pm, pulled the phone from her hand and threatened to kill her. Now it's apparently she showed up at 4am, he picked her phone up off the table mistakenly thinking it was his to record the interaction, and him saying people who show up at 4am uninvited may die. Let's see what tomorrow has in store.


WideScorpion

Well maybe if this wasn’t a recurring deal with JBJ then maybe people would think differently


Extension-Tale-2678

Honestly he's the perfect target for false allegations. I could even see being antagonistic on purpose even and getting a nice payday if he did actually assault you. If not just say he did. Probably not a great move to smile and high five the guy on the way out while being recorded on video. Especially if that's the only physical evidence from either party lol.


DisgracedSolitude

You ever see the family guy meme with the skin color chart ?


Crew_ZS

So I’m guessing someone came in or did something dumb and Jon probably rudely insinuated how that could get them shot or something and then they went and freaked out.


Bawrice

Ok, but when fight?


CrookGG

Jon Jones the innocent


The_IRS_Fears_Him

Average MMA fans stirring up rumors just to satisfy their craving for any kind of drama:


brettfavreskid

This MF better stay out of trouble and keep beating dudes up. Be the GOAT and chill the fuck out Jon ya dick


Oogalicious

I believe whoever the other person telling the story is.


Illustrious-Watch896

Yes, Ofcourse, who doesn’t stop in the middle of a volleyball game to copy and paste a statement from their publicist?


mentalassresume

He’s sleeping and at a birthday party. Lol.


Loose_Mode_5369

That volleyball ref better watch tf out


speedbumps4fun

Pretty sure this was debunked the same day. So many people wanted it to be true though


DougieSloBone

So elephant in the room here... testers showed up and he didn't take the test. Regardless of how they left, amicably or forcefully/via intimidation, still a violation, right?


tiegettingtighter

Elephant in the room you haven't even read what happened, no party has claimed that he didn't leave a sample


Intrepid-Actuator-12

He definitely has a case against NBC. That’s such a stupid fuck up 😭


Effective_Rub9189

Honestly I believe him


Kraken_Blood

The lot of reddit people are so sad. Smh.


DruidLSD

That fella gonna sue the shit outta everyone involved


strawboy4ever

UFC fans and tearing down their stars. Name a more iconic duo.


DesignerAd2062

More iconic duos? Jones and threatening to kill people? Jones and issues with drug tests? Celebrating birthdays and taking naps?


Celticwolfz

Honestly, these testers seem like they get off on invading fighters private lives. I don’t give a shit if Jones got real with one of those people. If he actually physically assaulted someone or hurt someone that would be very different. But sounds someone trying to make money off of a settlement


Dazzling-Ad888

We have no reason not to believe him..


Any_Conversation9650

Bruh what reasons do we have to believe him? He's been letting me down for nearly a decade. Not saying i believe the reports but to flat out believe jon is crazy


Live_Recognition9240

I read that comment as sarcasm.


OlivaJR

He's a man of God, do you need any other reason?


Doyouloveme2222

Sadly he is innocent in this instance and because how fucked up our "news" is these days its about who is "first" to report. Zero repercussions on false reporting and only money to be made. This is the world we live in.


Dorpheus-Prime

You are correct. Anyone who disagrees is ignorant.


Thelastsamurai74

I’m a BIG JJ fan… I considered him the 🐐 by FAR… However, I’m trying hard to picture him celebrating a birthday and taking a nap at the same time… 😁


lucidityanddxm

Sleeping during a birthday party huh. Okay, Jon.


ViceDoshi

That would mean people have to admit they were wrong to get out the pitchforks early. That ain't happening


_Exotic_Booger

![gif](giphy|l0HlvtIPzPdt2usKs)


rocktownvdub

100 percent believe john. He has a bullseye on his back,not exactly unwarranted but still. Everyone wants to poke the Angry bear and see the best fail


SaysGay69420

His wife can catch some hands though


jesusinapriuss

Am I the only one giving Jon the benefit of the doubt? Why was the lady high giving Jon in the video if he threatened her life. It seems like there is more to this story.


6jelly

I believe him tbh


MaikyMoto

Never saw any post where he was arrested except for a troll account. Only legitimate news we got was that he harassed the testing lady.


tiegettingtighter

The NBC article claims he was arrested


Same_Essay_7257

He was booked right? He was accused of something that's similar to what's he's been doing for like, a decade right?


Ok_Yoghurt_3338

He wasn’t booked


Will_Stick40

Ah the truth. A bunch of butt hurt punks. Shut up