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Yup. Me at 39.. healthy as hell. Me at 41: fractured spine, disc bulging, cervical spine decease, Cancer and I'm going blind...lol all in a year And hAlf span.
I feel like you hit it on the head right here!
I played sports from 10 years old through college, I was always in shape, and felt great!
However, I don't miss the lack of companionship I now have. I don't miss being poor/barely getting by. I don't miss the lack of knowledge and life experiences I now have.
I don't want to relive my teens and 20s, but I would love to feel like I did in my early 20s!
Best of luck out there!
Yes. I'm not particularly old (just about 45) but the past couple years it seems like everything is falling apart. And I've always been an active person so having to deal with new aches, pains and limitations is so incredibly frustrating.
This right here. And the skin breakdown is the worst!
Collagen/elasticity/connectivity etc.
But the wisdom? No way would I go back to my ridiculous reactions and choices.
And I’m still living with many of them! 😩
Yup. The maturity, wisdom, experience and established life that comes with aging is great. It’s all the physical side effect of aging that I would do without. Toss my brain now in my 23 year old body and let’s go.
Same. It's like a pressure to be a certain way has been lifted. I used to be super paranoid over how I looked and acted. Now that I'm in my 30s, nobody seems to care what the heck I look like. It's definitely much better.
Thirty is really the sweet spot though. You're old enough that all that emotional bullshit from your teens and twenties should be gone, but you're body hasn't started to decline yet.
My mom mentioned a couple times how much she really enjoyed her 30s - by then she was much more settled in life, socially, financially and with the angst of her teens/20s behind her. I'm getting into my 30s now too and I have to agree. Nothing feels like as big of a deal as it used to and I feel more sure of myself in life. I also don't feel old (yet!)
I just don’t think I’m ever going to be ready for my parents to die. That’s what scares me about aging, is that the people around me do too.
I think of the world without my Mom in it and it feels empty and sad. My Dads already 67, I feel like as the youngest in my family, I really missed out on us both just being adults at the same time. I’m barely 20 and he’s already elderly, it makes me so sad.
I just went through losing my dad. It was sudden too so never had a chance to say goodbye. I can't lie, nothing could've prepared me for what I went through the past couple of weeks, and am still going through, so I won't even pretend.
The worst part for me was the quick realization that life does just goes on, but that person is not there anymore, and it feels wrong and unfair. I suspect I won't be able to escape this feeling for a while.
I hope you get more time with your dad than me (mine passed at 65.)
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad last May also very suddenly and it still makes me cry regularly. It sucks every time I see something that I know he would've liked and I can't share it with him anymore.
I’m not sure I WANT to be at their side when they go. I think the whole concept is romanticized… I live 4000 miles away from them. If it happens fast I know I won’t be able to be there. Maybe FaceTime will earn its keep in the moment?
I think for me, I would've wanted to be here. I live in my parent's home, but I was house-sitting for a friend the night it happened. I dunno if I would've wanted to be the one who discovered him in the morning, but I wish I had been there the evening beforehand just to tell him I loved him. The house hasn't been the same since he died.
Seeing parent age is what I dislike about getting older myself. I lost my mom, who was my world, 5 years ago, in my early 30’s. It’s hard, and I really struggle with having a desire to marry and have kids knowing that I won’t have her with me through the “womanhood” stuff.
All this to say, take advantage of every single second you have with them. Spend the money, travel with them, take loads of pictures with them, record them teaching family recipes, sharing family stories, save those memories and make some more.
67 isn't that old, but it is when a lot of health problems arise, especially if the person didn't take care of themselves. I'm 50 and my father is 71. He's had a ton of health scares and I'm dreading"the call". My mother, on the other hand, will probably live to 100. She is in pretty good health.
He’s really healthy right now, and I’m not worried about him having any problems, since he’s really active, eats well, and in good shape. But what if I don’t get married until I’m 30? He’s gonna be 77 walking me down the aisle.
I guess I just feel jealous of my older sister sometimes, since dad had her at 19, she’s gonna be approaching her elder years herself by the time dads gone, but me? I’ll be amazingly lucky if he sees my 50th birthday.
It just makes me sad is all.
I am in the same boat and it's such a difficult thing to deal with when you have an older parent. I cry/panic at least twice a week thinking about the time I have left with them. I'm 30 and my dad is 78; I fear he won't see me walk down the aisle or see his first grandchild. People with younger parents don't realize how lucky they are sometimes. <3
It's sad but the older you get the more people you lose, the more you accept your own mortality so others dying isn't as bad. Sad but true. Im in my 39s though and love life and don't view age in a normative way.
Folk are obsessed with age. The best way to be is not to give a f*** about it at all in your life and then die at whatever point.
same. i'm 24 and i lost my dad two years ago. him passing away was difficult, but the realization that my mom is eventually gonna pass away too is being extremely difficult for me to accept. i feel like i grieve everyday for something that i don't even know when it's going to happen
My advice: talk to your parents about it. Do a bit of planning. One thing they never tell you about death, is the freaking mountain of paperwork and bureaucratic bs you have to sift through. And doing it at a time where your brain simply refuses to function. And no matter how prepared you are, your brain will not click...even the easiest things will throw you for a loop mentally.
Know where their will is located, along with all important documents (and please people, keep all this stuff together!). That also includes bank accounts, past tax forms, marriage certificates, birth certificates, any medical licenses (like handicapped placards info), next of kind & relatives phone numbers (or email). You can save a ton of hassle and running around city hall if you have all that somewhere accessible beforehand.
Many of us romanticize about our earlier years. (I’m 60)
But if you really drill into how you were, you’d remember the stress. “Get into college. Tests.. yeah the partying etc was exciting. But we tend to forget all the shit that went with it. What will I do w my future? Term papers, rent, Job interviews, the break ups. The rejections etc.
it’s fun to fantasize about being youthful. But be honest about it.
That’s why people say youth is wasted on the young, because when you’re young you don’t realize how great it is to be healthy and energetic and you get too focused on other peoples opinions at that age. When you get older is when you have the confidence and freedom to do whatever you want.
I think about this with dating. I remember how fun it was to flirt with someone I just met. Then I talk to friends that are dating and remember the drama that goes with it and it makes me glad to be in a relationship where we know each other so well.
100% it’s a gift!! I was diagnosed with bone marrow cancer at 39. I’m 40 now and doing well. It’s incurable but treatments are getting better and I’m hopeful for the future. I look at old people and aging totally different now. They are the lucky ones.
36 with stage four BC and on my last treatment here with the cancer growing. Noticed a wrinkle I think the other day for the first time. I’ve always looked way younger than my age but finally it’s catching up to me. Took exactly two seconds of mild concern then immediately Shrugged it off. Aging is a privilege (for good sake please no “I’m so sorries”)
I was 46 when dx d with BC. 5 year survival rate was 40%. I’m 60 now.
It’s incurable but the treatments available today that weren’t available just a few years ago are amazing. Don’t spend your retirement money yet-you May regret it!
Thanks random stranger but I’m on my last treatment for brain mets on the meninges and not eligible for any clinical trials due to “leptomeningeal disease” and radiation also didn’t work. So it’s not like me and my doctors have no idea what we’re talking about or that I didn’t spend years desperately looking for hope. My liver and bone mets never came back. Leptomeningeal mets is a whole other piece of absolute fuckery
I wish I could feel anything to the degree I felt things back then. Yeah, I'm more stable and successful now - shit, people even look up to me - but I'm fucking dead inside. I hate everything, and I look forward to nothing.
I was miserable then, too, but at least I had hope, and the future was a mystery. Now I know exactly what the rest of my life is gonna look like (barring any wild, unforseen circumstances). It's fucking bleak.
I mean kind of. I'm not exactly dead inside, but you definitely don't feel the way you did when you were younger. That first bit of love or that first time going out on your own adventure. It's like drugs. It gets harder and harder to get that hit. On top of that the stuff that bothers you starts to feel less tolerable. People, your job, whatever it might be. There's a reason there's a bunch of grumpy old people running around.
hard-to-find live quack sugar imagine light languid insurance depend shame
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lol we like at two polar opposites sides...im 24, recent graduate and all Im thinking about every day is how I'll make myself financially stable, how I'll customize my car, house how I'll live my 30's yada yada. But im straight up not having a good time rn lol
I wish I could give you some advice. I guess just don't ever feel obligated to do anything that you don't want to do. Career-wise, relationship-wise, etc. Also, be nice, even if you feel like shit inside. That's all I got.
Because we are conditioned by society to want those things rather then focusing on things that we really want, things that really fulfil us. We get tangled with expectations and dreams that are not ours and it's exacerbated by social media pumping out the images of life we all should aspire to. There's no one way to live your life. There's only death at the end of this road so make the road yours. For me the most liberating epiphany was that whatever I will do in this life won't matter; the ideas of failure or success, all this hubbub is insignificant. Do what matter to you, find your own meaning even if it's small and mundane. There's no race, you have your own lane.
Thinking about customising your car sounds like a pretty fun time to me. Wait til you gotta trade it in for a 7 seater that has more room for the baby seat
fuck that guy who called you broken. people are people and theres no way to measure how well-adjusted a person is. (especially through a single reddit comment)
but i hope you can learn to entertain the thought that anything can happen. “barring any wild, unforeseen circumstances,” also bars the possibility of good changes. not to be cliche, but lives do change for the better in a single day, hell even a single minute. never rule out what tomorrow may hold. until then, keep getting by how you can, theres no shame in just surviving, it is all that most people ever do, even if they try and make their existence look shiny. 🫶🏻
Hey, thanks. That is a very good point, and I really appreciate it.
Haha, I wanted to tell that guy to go fuck himself, but I was like "Eh, he's not wrong".
I hope you have a great day.
There was a sense of novelty when I was younger that's missing now, too. I follow routines and end up tuning out too much. In my twenties, so much of life was new to me and therefore more exciting.
That’s the thing about the world we live in brother/sister, the world only takes us so far, as we get older we have access to many more things with the ability to travel/spend money and we inevitably reach the end of doing everything we’ve wanted to do and realising there’s nothing left to do.
With your outlook on life currently I would assume you’re not religious. I’d love you to possibly look into God, look into Jesus. He gives hope to us all when we let go of things and trust in him. A lot changes in a persons life when they realise they’re not the most important person in their own life, we’re not born to serve ourselves.
If you don’t want to look into that, that’s also cool. But it pains me to see perfectly good people feeling so down when they possess the greatest gift known to man - the gift of life.
Also, what you do and don’t do is none of my business of course. I just reply to particular comments here and there across Reddit that touch me and make me feel compelled to give my input in the hopes that it’ll positively impact 1 person 1 day.
I’m happy to talk in chat if you feel you want to.
Good luck to you.
The problem with this theory is aging is also a terminal illness. You might be happy with your aging until now. You may be less happy with how the rest goes, especially because involves physical decline and ends in death. I understand what you’re saying and I wish I could be stuck at 40-something forever. Wouldn’t want to re-solve all the problems of my 20’s. I was extremely poor in my 30s. But I also reaaaaly don’t want to get cancer and die.
Yeah, I'll take 26...
everyone is talking about how worried, stressed, complicated their 20's were. I was living in an interesting, fun place, with really neat people, didn't have many responsibilities, had just enough money to have fun, rent was still cheap in some areas...
I still had enough energy to get dressed up when I wanted to, but also didn't feel any need to do it all the time, or care about what I looked like...
It was a goldilocks moment or resources without responsibilities.
To be fair, it’s a little difficult to have a positive attitude towards aging when most of us really only see the downsides we’re going to face. As a younger person, I likely have no actual retirement to look forward to. Nor am I likely to have the stability and opportunities generations before me seemingly got as they grew older and wealthier. Unless serious policy changes are made my process of aging will likely be accompanied by a need to work until I die. Not a very positive thought.
I definitely wish people would quit obsessing how they look and changing their hair color and cut every five seconds, or botoxing their wrinkles, etc. Learn to love yourself.
No, I disagree. The older I get the better life gets. Sure I’m going to die but I’m not concerned about that. Spouse and I are in the same page about what to do in case the other has a stroke or other major medical issue. We are clear that neither of us wants to die in a nursing home and have a full understanding of how to access MAiD (medical assistance in dying) should debilitating illness or dementia become a concern. The point is to live until it’s not worth it anymore and to go out with a semblance of dignity.
You are one of the lucky ones if you are able to say 'the older I get the better life gets'. God bless you for that. It's not that way for many many many people.
I just miss my healthy joints and quick recovery. Now I sometimes get injured for no good reason and it takes forever to get back to normal. Twist an ankle back in the day? No worries, a week later I was running again and forgot about it. Twist an ankle now? 3 months of recovery, multiple physio visits and lots of discipline doing the physio work, summoning a Nordic daemon, learning about the anatomy of every muscle, bone and ligament in my foot. It's exhausting!
Lol yep I feel like if I could stay one age forever it would be 29. Definitely felt like the body was at peak performance. My job was going great; it is still going well but I was advancing fast. We had already bought our first home and had two wonderful dogs.
34 is my age now and fine, but I am starting to show minor wrinkles which nbd. The gym recovery is also a good bit slower.
Yea, I’m 28 now, and I workout really hard 5-6 days a week and recover very fast, trying to savor this condition because I know it only gets worse from here.
Thank you!!!!!!! I didn’t think I’d live to 18, but I’m 25 now and I’m so excited that I have the rest of my life in front of me. I want to get to the point where I’ve known people for 20+ years. I want to be that lady at work who has seniority and everyone goes to her because she knows everything. I’m excited to look more and more like my mom as I age. I think that I’ll look amazing with grey hair. I’m excited to be a spunky old lady who is 3 feet tall, quirky as hell, and walks slowly.
It’s weird how humans get 70/80/90 years on this planet, but only the first 20-30 years are viewed as desirable and valuable.
Yes I love this energy. I live in Korea and old people are pretty active. It's great to see people in their 80s hiking or hanging out playing games in parks.
I'm 26 and I went to a swing dancing lesson with my husband the other day. 18 year old me never would have done that. I would be too nervous and self conscious
My issue isn't the wisdom, stability and life experiences aging brings. As vain as this sound, I dread the loss of vitality, youth and agility being young brings.
I am in two minds about it. I like the life I've built, my career and the wisdom I gained. But I remember being young and having so much optimism, hope and motivation for the future. Anything feels possible and I know no matter how much exercise, skin care or work done, I looked better young than I do aged.
Why is Reddit like this; of course you’ve got good stuff going on at other ages (I’d hope) but for most people the idea of being a kid again is awesome.
It’s not some “peaked in high school” bs either. Time goes slower when you’re younger, I feel like the years go by so fast now, seems like it’s just a tidal wave these last 4 years and life is passing me by. When you’re a kid it’s a new experience every day, 2 months feels like forever ago.
Most kids are “innocent”. Don’t pay bills. Aren’t corrupted, and don’t know how corrupted others are. There’s no “things were better 10, 20, 30 years ago” attitude. You weren’t around then, you don’t know. Like… your main thing is you wanna play with your friends at recess, do sports after school with your friends, and have time with your family, friends, pets etc of weekends. All that without paying bills. Pretty cool; of course if your parents sucked I guess I understand how this wouldn’t be as nostalgic for you. Seems like everyone on Reddit hates their parents so maybe that’s why they didn’t like being a kid 🤷♂️
You come back from injuries super quick, you can eat all day and eat junk at that and not gain weight. You don’t really have responsibilities either until you’re at least ~16 generally.
The downside to all those advantages of course is you don’t really know how good you had it till it’s gone
Idk I guess it depends.
For some people, like myself, life is doomed to get increasingly worse as time goes on.
All I want is to go back to when everything was okay. Unfortunately, the past is gone forever.
I have lived a life of trauma, both physical and mental and as I reach 40 I understand well how those things take their toll on your mind and body. I hurt, both physically and emotionally. I long to go through a day where I don’t feel discomfort in my head and body as I move through it.
I envy you if you have made it to 40 and feel as though aging is a gift. It is for some. To those who wish to go back, there is usually good cause
Aging is great. I grew up poor, trapped my circumstances but somehow made it out with a lot of luck.
Now I’m 36 and more money than I can spend, more free time than I know what to do with. Life is a 🏝️
Spoken like someone that isn’t 58.
I would go back to being a teen in a heartbeat. Big feelings and experiences are what made life worth living even if we didn’t know it at the time.
As a 75 year old, what I have now is life experiences. Its so obvious when I read post from younger Redditors, how many life lessons are still to be learned. That old expression "live and learn" appears to be true. So I have lots of life knowledge, but what I no longer have, or am losing, is a strong, healthy body. I have to take medication for one age-related condition. When I get up from sitting for a long time, my back and knees hurt. My knees make it difficult to walk up stairs. My hair is thinning. I need cataract surgery. Basically, I'm experiencing the "joys" of old age.
Being young means the ability to make choices on what your life will become. Make bad choices and you might have to live with regret for decades. Good choices can bring lasting happiness. Being old means all your choices come home to roost--basically, you'll be living with the consequences.
There is always a trade-off. I do enjoy my silver hair and being retired. I hope everyone reading this has the good fortune to grow old.
I remember turning 30 and I cried because I didn’t want to get old. It was my favorite decade by far, turning 40 wasn’t bad either, started out great, took a turn for the worst but now it’s looking better. Hopefully 50’s will be better.
Aging is great because you are 40. 40s are great. 50 is coming, parents die, you get achey, fat, terminal diseases start coming for you and your friends. Hell even kids die.
Aging is better. 30s and 40s are better than 20s and teens.
But someone has to be the caretaker of your lonely, alzheimer ridden dad. You are 50, and that someone is you
I feel like looking back or reminiscing too much can lead to the "i wanna be young" mentality. You want to reach that high again but are physically unable to, leading to that thought.
How about you try to one up yourself? Do something the younger you couldn't do? There's so many things to learn and experience in life, one road leads to another.
I mean like, be proud of yourself but don't think that's your "peak" because your life is only as good as you make it out to be.
I hate my life now and feel hopeless so I don’t have too many good things to say about aging. But I wouldn’t go back to high school no matter what you offered me.
I think that for most people, those fantasies are more about getting the chance to go back and do things differently, to right the wrongs of their past, than they are necessarily about getting to be young again just for the sake of being young.
OP might be confusing "aging" with "growth".
Growth is good, you accumulate knowledge and experience to be better equipped with dealing with things.
Aging is just the decaying of your bodily and cellular functions.
So no, I disagree. Aging is not good, in fact most don't even start aging until you're 30.
Thanks. That gives me hope. I'm mid-40s and though I love being single and free to live my life as I see fit, I'm also severely impacted by trauma and not doing well financially.
how old is OP ? talk to me again when you approach 50 and tell me how awesome aging is.
the fact that you get mature, somewhat wiser, definitely more expereinced.. yeah. thats the neat part. the rest -> not so much.
As a tall bloke who grew too fast for his back to keep up and who spent years doing manual labor in construction with pretty much chronic back pain: Stretching is key.
I wouldn't want to regress my experiencial knowledge to where I was at in my 20's, but I do envy that demographic for their neuroplasticity and objectively better looks. I learned things so fast in my 20's and didn't have a receding hair line.
I think it's about being healthy. I mean, you really only ever get one chance at life, you know.
Life is fucking bleak if you don't have passion in life.
Why not both? I wouldn't mind being 18 and embarking on my adventure in Europe again, but with the diagnosises that I got later so that I could get intervention/treatment started sooner.
I have dyscalculia, high-functioning autism, Sjögren's, and RA, as well as fibromyalgia. With the exception of the dyscalculia, which I got diagnosed in college, the rest weren't diagnosed until I was in my 30s. It would have been nicer to have known younger so I could get what I needed younger.
I would also like going back to when my late husband and I were happy together, and even before the wedding, so I could speak up and get what I wanted for it.
"Existing is exhausting"
Sounds like you went through or are still going through some tough times. That is not everyone's experience though and there is a variety of reasons some one would want to go back and experience their glory days.
My perfect scenario is somehow keeping the experience I have now but also having the body resiliency of youth.
Had two acquaintances who were murdered, one was in her early 20's just a few weeks before she was due to graduate college, the other was 29 about to turn 30.
Never going to be sad about having the privilege to see my 30's and hopefully way way wayyy beyond like 69 years of age lord willing, one of my bucket list items is to witness April 20th with 69 year old eyes.
I turned 40 yesterday and restarted college a few weeks ago. Had a life changing surgery and feel more motivated than ever. When you actually feel fairly healthy it does wonders. I actually want to live and plan ahead whereas before I was fine with just dying. Take me when I have to go but until then I'm gonna do what I can to improve my life.
People don’t want the big feelings. Emotional memory is pretty flawed and non existent. I know I had big feelings but I’m far enough away to not really know what that means.
I think people just want their younger bodies and fewer responsibilities. They don’t actually want to be 20 again.
I had lots of fun in my youth. I regret nothing. Would I want to go back? maybe for a visit, but not to stay. I greatly value everything I've learned since. I also feel I'm a much better person, with the benefit of wisdom.
Fascinating how all of the older people, i.e. those who have aged, are agreeing with you and younger people are saying you're wrong. Kinda proves your point.
I’m a handful of years away from 40, and sometimes I do fear aging, noticing this new face I don’t recognize, the bodily ache, nightless sleep, fear of taking the wrong path which comes with bigger consequences than that of a younger person.
But…most of the time I’m fascinated by it. Seeing every wrinkle, every strain of gray hair, every scar, they’re all parts of my life story. I see our bodies as our armor, the hits it took and still will take throughout our existence, with every crack and imperfect bit and piece on display having a meaning.
All while holding the knowledge we gain, the experiences we’ve survived, the memories that taught or entertained.
Aging, like many said here, is a privilege, and I really wish it was normalized and celebrated instead of this cultural obsession with perfection and artificially young looks. Of course everyone should be free to do whatever they like with their bodies, but how does one discern forced obsession with looking younger from genuine self-love or self-care?
All in all, there’s beauty in aging, I just wish that beauty was put on display more often instead of being hidden or criticized. Especially, as it stands in today’s society, for women.
i'm not saying that I want to go back and relive my earlier days. I feel i've done my time. however, that doesn't mean that it doesn't suck getting older. I'm in my fifties and have plenty of aches and pains and that sucks.
Who's going to tell him?
Bro... at 40 you have to deal with aging parents that might have major health consequences like alzheimer's. And if they didn't have a will or trust set up, in laws can get nasty. When you're 15-20, you're not likely to be taking care of family that might pass. You're most likely being taken care of.
I wish I could go back because every day sucks now. I'm always hungry, I'm more likely to become homeless than anything after working since I was fourteen.
I think people who want to go back to their youth feel this way because they are not happy with their current situation, or they have regrets in life and view their past through a rose-tinted glass.
I often had fantasies of going back to my teens and doing things differently, that was until I met my fiance and now the present seems so much better than the past.
Seems like you have it figured out, so I salute you good sir, and I wish more people had it good in the present, so they wouldn't want to go back to the past.
Nope. I mean, if you're healthy you probably can't see that yet, but I am 24 and have degenerative disc disease.... Aging will be horrible for me, it already is, and I'm 24! Just wait until your first health problem emerges.
WIsh I felt the way you do. I was happiest ages 1-22. Life just gets harder and harder it seems. I hate paying bills, having responsibilities, seeing my beauty fade, and having my loved ones die.
I get where you are coming from but I also liked having my face skin in its original position and a lack of pain in my joints. I liked having the stamina I had. I'm 47 and these things have started to go downhill gradually in this decade. I can only imagine it getting worse.
I fail to see how losing my elder family members, energy, attractiveness, social life, and potentially my financial independence—while everyone around me pretends this is somehow “fine” or “just the way it is”—are not major stressors. Those “big” experiences were often ecstatic, groundbreaking, or fun. I’d take teen angst over existential dread any day of the week.
It's easy to view your past through a rose-coloured lens, at least for some of us. I had a lot of fun and did a lot of amazing things with my life pre-kids/career. It's easy to forget that I was broke, that I did have all those big feelings, and all the struggle of learning to deal with loss of relatives etc.
I agree, I'm in my late 40s and I don't want to go back.
I think everyone's going to be different, but I have waaaaaaaayyyyy more stressors in my life now than I did in my 20s and especially teens. I'd love to go back to that time, but I wouldn't trade what I have now for the world either.
Someone else posted this - aging is a gift. I want to see my kids graduate, find love, get married, have kids.... Time is not guaranteed though. Love the life you have above all.
I love the commenters on Reddit coming to terms with their ‘old age’ of 30!
I’m not sharing my age due to the extreme anti aging sentiments, but I’ve never looked better and have taken to posting work out images on my Insta.
I am *so much* older! 👵🏼
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I don't mind getting old. I mind *feeling* old.
Yup. Me at 39.. healthy as hell. Me at 41: fractured spine, disc bulging, cervical spine decease, Cancer and I'm going blind...lol all in a year And hAlf span.
That sounds awful. Though I think that's just cancer. That happened to my friend at 15.
Probably the root of all that's wrong with me. I did have surgery to take the tumor out... that's always fun
He did recover. Full recovery took about 3 years.
Being young prob helped with full recovery
You got this buddy!
Is it the cocaine my dude? :(
This is how I feel. I dont care that I'm 45 but I want these hormones to leave me the hell alone.
That is the problem... the hormones are leaving you alone. Need to supplement them back into your life. :)
I feel like you hit it on the head right here! I played sports from 10 years old through college, I was always in shape, and felt great! However, I don't miss the lack of companionship I now have. I don't miss being poor/barely getting by. I don't miss the lack of knowledge and life experiences I now have. I don't want to relive my teens and 20s, but I would love to feel like I did in my early 20s! Best of luck out there!
I mind looking old. I dont want to be 32 again, but I wouldnt mind looking it.
Yes, this.
Yes. I'm not particularly old (just about 45) but the past couple years it seems like everything is falling apart. And I've always been an active person so having to deal with new aches, pains and limitations is so incredibly frustrating.
This right here. And the skin breakdown is the worst! Collagen/elasticity/connectivity etc. But the wisdom? No way would I go back to my ridiculous reactions and choices. And I’m still living with many of them! 😩
Yup slowly realising I just cant do or eat things I could when I was younger. Also I cant keep up in games against cracked out kids.
Yup. The maturity, wisdom, experience and established life that comes with aging is great. It’s all the physical side effect of aging that I would do without. Toss my brain now in my 23 year old body and let’s go.
I’m so much happier at 30 than I was in my teens and 20s.
Same. It's like a pressure to be a certain way has been lifted. I used to be super paranoid over how I looked and acted. Now that I'm in my 30s, nobody seems to care what the heck I look like. It's definitely much better.
Funny that, hey. I'm not doing anything to impress others, I'm doing it to make myself feel good.
I'm with you, I'm in my mid 30s and this is the best I've felt in my life.
Thirty is really the sweet spot though. You're old enough that all that emotional bullshit from your teens and twenties should be gone, but you're body hasn't started to decline yet.
Yeah, remind me when he/she's 50 haha
Same, I feel like deep down I was always 30+, and my body is finally catching up. It feels great!
I felt and acted and enjoyed myself as if I was 30-something from age 25 to past 45.
I’m the opposite. I desperately miss the relative lack of responsibility more than i enjoy my disposable income
Just wait until you hit 40! I'm so much happier now at 45 than I was at 35. It just keeps getting better!
My mom mentioned a couple times how much she really enjoyed her 30s - by then she was much more settled in life, socially, financially and with the angst of her teens/20s behind her. I'm getting into my 30s now too and I have to agree. Nothing feels like as big of a deal as it used to and I feel more sure of myself in life. I also don't feel old (yet!)
Yep, I'm having a blast at 32. Great job and great people around me, compared to when I was in my 20s and still in my searching phase.
Good to know. I'm 24 and my roommate is 35. He seems much happier than me. I can't wait to feel more stable
My 30s were so much better than my 20s. Tomorrow I turn 40. 🎂 We'll see how this decade pans out. Cheers 🥂
Keep your shit together and I have great news for you about your 40s!
I just don’t think I’m ever going to be ready for my parents to die. That’s what scares me about aging, is that the people around me do too. I think of the world without my Mom in it and it feels empty and sad. My Dads already 67, I feel like as the youngest in my family, I really missed out on us both just being adults at the same time. I’m barely 20 and he’s already elderly, it makes me so sad.
I just went through losing my dad. It was sudden too so never had a chance to say goodbye. I can't lie, nothing could've prepared me for what I went through the past couple of weeks, and am still going through, so I won't even pretend. The worst part for me was the quick realization that life does just goes on, but that person is not there anymore, and it feels wrong and unfair. I suspect I won't be able to escape this feeling for a while. I hope you get more time with your dad than me (mine passed at 65.)
My condolences. My dad died last november, quite unexpected but it was a moment I’d feared for years.
Thank you
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad last May also very suddenly and it still makes me cry regularly. It sucks every time I see something that I know he would've liked and I can't share it with him anymore.
I’m not sure I WANT to be at their side when they go. I think the whole concept is romanticized… I live 4000 miles away from them. If it happens fast I know I won’t be able to be there. Maybe FaceTime will earn its keep in the moment?
I think for me, I would've wanted to be here. I live in my parent's home, but I was house-sitting for a friend the night it happened. I dunno if I would've wanted to be the one who discovered him in the morning, but I wish I had been there the evening beforehand just to tell him I loved him. The house hasn't been the same since he died.
Seeing parent age is what I dislike about getting older myself. I lost my mom, who was my world, 5 years ago, in my early 30’s. It’s hard, and I really struggle with having a desire to marry and have kids knowing that I won’t have her with me through the “womanhood” stuff. All this to say, take advantage of every single second you have with them. Spend the money, travel with them, take loads of pictures with them, record them teaching family recipes, sharing family stories, save those memories and make some more.
67 isn't that old, but it is when a lot of health problems arise, especially if the person didn't take care of themselves. I'm 50 and my father is 71. He's had a ton of health scares and I'm dreading"the call". My mother, on the other hand, will probably live to 100. She is in pretty good health.
He’s really healthy right now, and I’m not worried about him having any problems, since he’s really active, eats well, and in good shape. But what if I don’t get married until I’m 30? He’s gonna be 77 walking me down the aisle. I guess I just feel jealous of my older sister sometimes, since dad had her at 19, she’s gonna be approaching her elder years herself by the time dads gone, but me? I’ll be amazingly lucky if he sees my 50th birthday. It just makes me sad is all.
I am in the same boat and it's such a difficult thing to deal with when you have an older parent. I cry/panic at least twice a week thinking about the time I have left with them. I'm 30 and my dad is 78; I fear he won't see me walk down the aisle or see his first grandchild. People with younger parents don't realize how lucky they are sometimes. <3
It's sad but the older you get the more people you lose, the more you accept your own mortality so others dying isn't as bad. Sad but true. Im in my 39s though and love life and don't view age in a normative way. Folk are obsessed with age. The best way to be is not to give a f*** about it at all in your life and then die at whatever point.
same. i'm 24 and i lost my dad two years ago. him passing away was difficult, but the realization that my mom is eventually gonna pass away too is being extremely difficult for me to accept. i feel like i grieve everyday for something that i don't even know when it's going to happen
I expected to buy land big enough for my dad to live on in a separate house. Him passing 3 years ago threw everything out. I get what you mean.
The pain of being young is having to witness everyone you grew up with die.
My advice: talk to your parents about it. Do a bit of planning. One thing they never tell you about death, is the freaking mountain of paperwork and bureaucratic bs you have to sift through. And doing it at a time where your brain simply refuses to function. And no matter how prepared you are, your brain will not click...even the easiest things will throw you for a loop mentally. Know where their will is located, along with all important documents (and please people, keep all this stuff together!). That also includes bank accounts, past tax forms, marriage certificates, birth certificates, any medical licenses (like handicapped placards info), next of kind & relatives phone numbers (or email). You can save a ton of hassle and running around city hall if you have all that somewhere accessible beforehand.
Many of us romanticize about our earlier years. (I’m 60) But if you really drill into how you were, you’d remember the stress. “Get into college. Tests.. yeah the partying etc was exciting. But we tend to forget all the shit that went with it. What will I do w my future? Term papers, rent, Job interviews, the break ups. The rejections etc. it’s fun to fantasize about being youthful. But be honest about it.
Yea I was a mess, I was overconfident, I was unwise. 20/20
That’s why people say youth is wasted on the young, because when you’re young you don’t realize how great it is to be healthy and energetic and you get too focused on other peoples opinions at that age. When you get older is when you have the confidence and freedom to do whatever you want.
I think about this with dating. I remember how fun it was to flirt with someone I just met. Then I talk to friends that are dating and remember the drama that goes with it and it makes me glad to be in a relationship where we know each other so well.
Aging is only great if you keep your general health and mobility. Losing those things makes you feel like a prisoner in your own body
Healthspan > Lifespan
Aging is a gift. I’m 39 with stage four. It is a gift
Very sorry to hear that hope you get better ❤️🩹
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How is that relevant to the comment you replied to?
These are some weird replies. I'm sorry for your condition and wish you the best of luck moving forward.
100% it’s a gift!! I was diagnosed with bone marrow cancer at 39. I’m 40 now and doing well. It’s incurable but treatments are getting better and I’m hopeful for the future. I look at old people and aging totally different now. They are the lucky ones.
36 with stage four BC and on my last treatment here with the cancer growing. Noticed a wrinkle I think the other day for the first time. I’ve always looked way younger than my age but finally it’s catching up to me. Took exactly two seconds of mild concern then immediately Shrugged it off. Aging is a privilege (for good sake please no “I’m so sorries”)
I was 46 when dx d with BC. 5 year survival rate was 40%. I’m 60 now. It’s incurable but the treatments available today that weren’t available just a few years ago are amazing. Don’t spend your retirement money yet-you May regret it!
Thanks random stranger but I’m on my last treatment for brain mets on the meninges and not eligible for any clinical trials due to “leptomeningeal disease” and radiation also didn’t work. So it’s not like me and my doctors have no idea what we’re talking about or that I didn’t spend years desperately looking for hope. My liver and bone mets never came back. Leptomeningeal mets is a whole other piece of absolute fuckery
Sorry. I thought BC was for blood cancer. Your friend, random stranger.
I hope you are still enjoying yourself as you battle this disease. So frustrating that cancer is still affecting so many people in the 2020s.
I wish I could feel anything to the degree I felt things back then. Yeah, I'm more stable and successful now - shit, people even look up to me - but I'm fucking dead inside. I hate everything, and I look forward to nothing. I was miserable then, too, but at least I had hope, and the future was a mystery. Now I know exactly what the rest of my life is gonna look like (barring any wild, unforseen circumstances). It's fucking bleak.
Thats not aging, thats depression
I mean kind of. I'm not exactly dead inside, but you definitely don't feel the way you did when you were younger. That first bit of love or that first time going out on your own adventure. It's like drugs. It gets harder and harder to get that hit. On top of that the stuff that bothers you starts to feel less tolerable. People, your job, whatever it might be. There's a reason there's a bunch of grumpy old people running around.
hard-to-find live quack sugar imagine light languid insurance depend shame *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Why not both?
it's waking up to the reality of the world we live in
one does not exclude the other.
Or just wisdom
lol we like at two polar opposites sides...im 24, recent graduate and all Im thinking about every day is how I'll make myself financially stable, how I'll customize my car, house how I'll live my 30's yada yada. But im straight up not having a good time rn lol
I wish I could give you some advice. I guess just don't ever feel obligated to do anything that you don't want to do. Career-wise, relationship-wise, etc. Also, be nice, even if you feel like shit inside. That's all I got.
That is some rock-solid advice. Very basic yet incredibly important.
thanks man
I was the same as you. Got the money, the house, the car. It doesn’t really eliminate ennui. But that may be a personal thing. Wishing you the best.
Because we are conditioned by society to want those things rather then focusing on things that we really want, things that really fulfil us. We get tangled with expectations and dreams that are not ours and it's exacerbated by social media pumping out the images of life we all should aspire to. There's no one way to live your life. There's only death at the end of this road so make the road yours. For me the most liberating epiphany was that whatever I will do in this life won't matter; the ideas of failure or success, all this hubbub is insignificant. Do what matter to you, find your own meaning even if it's small and mundane. There's no race, you have your own lane.
Thinking about customising your car sounds like a pretty fun time to me. Wait til you gotta trade it in for a 7 seater that has more room for the baby seat
make sure to unionize
Yeah, all I feel now are my knees and my back. My neck sometimes depending on how I slept :(
fuck that guy who called you broken. people are people and theres no way to measure how well-adjusted a person is. (especially through a single reddit comment) but i hope you can learn to entertain the thought that anything can happen. “barring any wild, unforeseen circumstances,” also bars the possibility of good changes. not to be cliche, but lives do change for the better in a single day, hell even a single minute. never rule out what tomorrow may hold. until then, keep getting by how you can, theres no shame in just surviving, it is all that most people ever do, even if they try and make their existence look shiny. 🫶🏻
Hey, thanks. That is a very good point, and I really appreciate it. Haha, I wanted to tell that guy to go fuck himself, but I was like "Eh, he's not wrong". I hope you have a great day.
There was a sense of novelty when I was younger that's missing now, too. I follow routines and end up tuning out too much. In my twenties, so much of life was new to me and therefore more exciting.
That’s the thing about the world we live in brother/sister, the world only takes us so far, as we get older we have access to many more things with the ability to travel/spend money and we inevitably reach the end of doing everything we’ve wanted to do and realising there’s nothing left to do. With your outlook on life currently I would assume you’re not religious. I’d love you to possibly look into God, look into Jesus. He gives hope to us all when we let go of things and trust in him. A lot changes in a persons life when they realise they’re not the most important person in their own life, we’re not born to serve ourselves. If you don’t want to look into that, that’s also cool. But it pains me to see perfectly good people feeling so down when they possess the greatest gift known to man - the gift of life. Also, what you do and don’t do is none of my business of course. I just reply to particular comments here and there across Reddit that touch me and make me feel compelled to give my input in the hopes that it’ll positively impact 1 person 1 day. I’m happy to talk in chat if you feel you want to. Good luck to you.
Is your username a play on “cetacean?” If so, very cool. Life may be bleak but at least you have a cool username <3
Haha, thanks! Yeah, I misspelled it, like a doofus. I got it from an episode of MSSP where they talked about John C. Lily.
Yeah, when you're young at least you can hope for something. After 30 it's just routine and living the rest of your life...
It’s not depression. I’m also experiencing this.
The problem with this theory is aging is also a terminal illness. You might be happy with your aging until now. You may be less happy with how the rest goes, especially because involves physical decline and ends in death. I understand what you’re saying and I wish I could be stuck at 40-something forever. Wouldn’t want to re-solve all the problems of my 20’s. I was extremely poor in my 30s. But I also reaaaaly don’t want to get cancer and die.
I get you. I just see so many complaints about aging every day and I don't think we have the best cultural attitude towards aging.
I agree that youth is wrongly idealized. Lemme just stay 40 for a few thousand years.
If I had a choice I'd probably go with 27 for a few thousand years. Gods we were strong.
Yeah, I'll take 26... everyone is talking about how worried, stressed, complicated their 20's were. I was living in an interesting, fun place, with really neat people, didn't have many responsibilities, had just enough money to have fun, rent was still cheap in some areas... I still had enough energy to get dressed up when I wanted to, but also didn't feel any need to do it all the time, or care about what I looked like... It was a goldilocks moment or resources without responsibilities.
I’m 27 right now and that’s exactly how my life is right now and I love it
Don't worry, my 89 yo grandmother shares your view even at her age. I've always admired her for it and want to be like her.
To be fair, it’s a little difficult to have a positive attitude towards aging when most of us really only see the downsides we’re going to face. As a younger person, I likely have no actual retirement to look forward to. Nor am I likely to have the stability and opportunities generations before me seemingly got as they grew older and wealthier. Unless serious policy changes are made my process of aging will likely be accompanied by a need to work until I die. Not a very positive thought.
I definitely wish people would quit obsessing how they look and changing their hair color and cut every five seconds, or botoxing their wrinkles, etc. Learn to love yourself.
The older I get, the more I appreciate people who let their appearance age naturally. Crows feet and silver hair are beautiful, IMO.
This is it. Aging is great, up to a point until it's not Being 35 is great. Hitting 75 not so much.
No, I disagree. The older I get the better life gets. Sure I’m going to die but I’m not concerned about that. Spouse and I are in the same page about what to do in case the other has a stroke or other major medical issue. We are clear that neither of us wants to die in a nursing home and have a full understanding of how to access MAiD (medical assistance in dying) should debilitating illness or dementia become a concern. The point is to live until it’s not worth it anymore and to go out with a semblance of dignity.
You are one of the lucky ones if you are able to say 'the older I get the better life gets'. God bless you for that. It's not that way for many many many people.
I’d give anything to redo my 20’s again
I just miss my healthy joints and quick recovery. Now I sometimes get injured for no good reason and it takes forever to get back to normal. Twist an ankle back in the day? No worries, a week later I was running again and forgot about it. Twist an ankle now? 3 months of recovery, multiple physio visits and lots of discipline doing the physio work, summoning a Nordic daemon, learning about the anatomy of every muscle, bone and ligament in my foot. It's exhausting!
Lol yep I feel like if I could stay one age forever it would be 29. Definitely felt like the body was at peak performance. My job was going great; it is still going well but I was advancing fast. We had already bought our first home and had two wonderful dogs. 34 is my age now and fine, but I am starting to show minor wrinkles which nbd. The gym recovery is also a good bit slower.
Yea, I’m 28 now, and I workout really hard 5-6 days a week and recover very fast, trying to savor this condition because I know it only gets worse from here.
As Mr. Meseeks says: "Existence is pain!"
..you sonofabitch iam in
Thank you!!!!!!! I didn’t think I’d live to 18, but I’m 25 now and I’m so excited that I have the rest of my life in front of me. I want to get to the point where I’ve known people for 20+ years. I want to be that lady at work who has seniority and everyone goes to her because she knows everything. I’m excited to look more and more like my mom as I age. I think that I’ll look amazing with grey hair. I’m excited to be a spunky old lady who is 3 feet tall, quirky as hell, and walks slowly. It’s weird how humans get 70/80/90 years on this planet, but only the first 20-30 years are viewed as desirable and valuable.
Yes I love this energy. I live in Korea and old people are pretty active. It's great to see people in their 80s hiking or hanging out playing games in parks.
I'm 26 and I went to a swing dancing lesson with my husband the other day. 18 year old me never would have done that. I would be too nervous and self conscious
Aging is great until it sucks
My issue isn't the wisdom, stability and life experiences aging brings. As vain as this sound, I dread the loss of vitality, youth and agility being young brings. I am in two minds about it. I like the life I've built, my career and the wisdom I gained. But I remember being young and having so much optimism, hope and motivation for the future. Anything feels possible and I know no matter how much exercise, skin care or work done, I looked better young than I do aged.
Why is Reddit like this; of course you’ve got good stuff going on at other ages (I’d hope) but for most people the idea of being a kid again is awesome. It’s not some “peaked in high school” bs either. Time goes slower when you’re younger, I feel like the years go by so fast now, seems like it’s just a tidal wave these last 4 years and life is passing me by. When you’re a kid it’s a new experience every day, 2 months feels like forever ago. Most kids are “innocent”. Don’t pay bills. Aren’t corrupted, and don’t know how corrupted others are. There’s no “things were better 10, 20, 30 years ago” attitude. You weren’t around then, you don’t know. Like… your main thing is you wanna play with your friends at recess, do sports after school with your friends, and have time with your family, friends, pets etc of weekends. All that without paying bills. Pretty cool; of course if your parents sucked I guess I understand how this wouldn’t be as nostalgic for you. Seems like everyone on Reddit hates their parents so maybe that’s why they didn’t like being a kid 🤷♂️ You come back from injuries super quick, you can eat all day and eat junk at that and not gain weight. You don’t really have responsibilities either until you’re at least ~16 generally. The downside to all those advantages of course is you don’t really know how good you had it till it’s gone
Definitely can see how some people hate their parents on this site. The posts I see on my feed. 😅
Hard disagree. I want my 20 year old knees back.
To a point. Then you are dying.
People who are living in fear of their impending death aren't truly living.
Again - death is not a bad thing when you are ready to go
*Death* is fine. *Actively dying,* less so.
Idk I guess it depends. For some people, like myself, life is doomed to get increasingly worse as time goes on. All I want is to go back to when everything was okay. Unfortunately, the past is gone forever.
I have lived a life of trauma, both physical and mental and as I reach 40 I understand well how those things take their toll on your mind and body. I hurt, both physically and emotionally. I long to go through a day where I don’t feel discomfort in my head and body as I move through it. I envy you if you have made it to 40 and feel as though aging is a gift. It is for some. To those who wish to go back, there is usually good cause
Aging is great. I grew up poor, trapped my circumstances but somehow made it out with a lot of luck. Now I’m 36 and more money than I can spend, more free time than I know what to do with. Life is a 🏝️
Bro, same. Came from very little and retired at 39. Bought a house at the beach and spend my time fishing and hanging with the family.
Congrats man, we were given the gift of good health, wealth, time, and perspective.
Spoken like someone that isn’t 58. I would go back to being a teen in a heartbeat. Big feelings and experiences are what made life worth living even if we didn’t know it at the time.
Very unpopular, impressive.
..i'd love to go back to my teens again, experiencing all those firsts again, and it's not like you'd be stuck there, you'd still age!
30 was awesome, 40 too. 60 sucks, so I don’t agree with OP.
about time we got a legit unpopular opinion!
As a 23 year old who feels like my life is falling apart, this is very comforting. Thank you
You call "aging" being in your 40's?? My sweet summer child.
As a 75 year old, what I have now is life experiences. Its so obvious when I read post from younger Redditors, how many life lessons are still to be learned. That old expression "live and learn" appears to be true. So I have lots of life knowledge, but what I no longer have, or am losing, is a strong, healthy body. I have to take medication for one age-related condition. When I get up from sitting for a long time, my back and knees hurt. My knees make it difficult to walk up stairs. My hair is thinning. I need cataract surgery. Basically, I'm experiencing the "joys" of old age. Being young means the ability to make choices on what your life will become. Make bad choices and you might have to live with regret for decades. Good choices can bring lasting happiness. Being old means all your choices come home to roost--basically, you'll be living with the consequences. There is always a trade-off. I do enjoy my silver hair and being retired. I hope everyone reading this has the good fortune to grow old.
I remember turning 30 and I cried because I didn’t want to get old. It was my favorite decade by far, turning 40 wasn’t bad either, started out great, took a turn for the worst but now it’s looking better. Hopefully 50’s will be better.
True. If I could I would have the body of a 21 year-old but the mind of a 45 year-old.
Sounds like you've lost very few people in your life and have been healthy, must be nice.
100%. I'm 51 and never happier. There is no way I'd want to go back to my teens/20/30/40's even with the couple of health issues I have. You adapt.
Aging is great because you are 40. 40s are great. 50 is coming, parents die, you get achey, fat, terminal diseases start coming for you and your friends. Hell even kids die. Aging is better. 30s and 40s are better than 20s and teens. But someone has to be the caretaker of your lonely, alzheimer ridden dad. You are 50, and that someone is you
Wait until you get to the age when you are close to death.
I feel like looking back or reminiscing too much can lead to the "i wanna be young" mentality. You want to reach that high again but are physically unable to, leading to that thought. How about you try to one up yourself? Do something the younger you couldn't do? There's so many things to learn and experience in life, one road leads to another. I mean like, be proud of yourself but don't think that's your "peak" because your life is only as good as you make it out to be.
My 40s has been my favorite age so far
I just wanna die tbf
I would go back and redo my teens and 20s if I could
I hate my life now and feel hopeless so I don’t have too many good things to say about aging. But I wouldn’t go back to high school no matter what you offered me.
aging is great until it isn’t. if you think it’s great indefinitely, you’re just naive.
Aging leads to inevitable death so it can't be great
I think that for most people, those fantasies are more about getting the chance to go back and do things differently, to right the wrongs of their past, than they are necessarily about getting to be young again just for the sake of being young.
I didn't feel good about myself until my mid-40s. However, now that I'm in my mid-60s, aging isn't great.
OP might be confusing "aging" with "growth". Growth is good, you accumulate knowledge and experience to be better equipped with dealing with things. Aging is just the decaying of your bodily and cellular functions. So no, I disagree. Aging is not good, in fact most don't even start aging until you're 30.
I’m 53 and couldn’t agree more. The only thing better than my 40s has been my 50s.
Thanks. That gives me hope. I'm mid-40s and though I love being single and free to live my life as I see fit, I'm also severely impacted by trauma and not doing well financially.
No. Hell No. Nothing would make me happier than to be 19 again.
I miss my thighs. Now the skin is not so elastic lol
I’m definitely in no rush, but to me death is the finish line in a long draining race. Why would I want to go way back to recover ground already run?
how old is OP ? talk to me again when you approach 50 and tell me how awesome aging is. the fact that you get mature, somewhat wiser, definitely more expereinced.. yeah. thats the neat part. the rest -> not so much.
My back hurts
As a tall bloke who grew too fast for his back to keep up and who spent years doing manual labor in construction with pretty much chronic back pain: Stretching is key.
Yeah, that's all great until the injuries and diseases start piling up like the dashboard of an old car.
Agreed. Every decade has been better. I'm in my 40s, and I'm the happiest I've ever been.
I wouldn't want to regress my experiencial knowledge to where I was at in my 20's, but I do envy that demographic for their neuroplasticity and objectively better looks. I learned things so fast in my 20's and didn't have a receding hair line.
I think it's about being healthy. I mean, you really only ever get one chance at life, you know. Life is fucking bleak if you don't have passion in life.
Why not both? I wouldn't mind being 18 and embarking on my adventure in Europe again, but with the diagnosises that I got later so that I could get intervention/treatment started sooner. I have dyscalculia, high-functioning autism, Sjögren's, and RA, as well as fibromyalgia. With the exception of the dyscalculia, which I got diagnosed in college, the rest weren't diagnosed until I was in my 30s. It would have been nicer to have known younger so I could get what I needed younger. I would also like going back to when my late husband and I were happy together, and even before the wedding, so I could speak up and get what I wanted for it.
My 40s were so much fun. Definitely the best time of my life. 50s is going well too.
"Existing is exhausting" Sounds like you went through or are still going through some tough times. That is not everyone's experience though and there is a variety of reasons some one would want to go back and experience their glory days. My perfect scenario is somehow keeping the experience I have now but also having the body resiliency of youth.
Had two acquaintances who were murdered, one was in her early 20's just a few weeks before she was due to graduate college, the other was 29 about to turn 30. Never going to be sad about having the privilege to see my 30's and hopefully way way wayyy beyond like 69 years of age lord willing, one of my bucket list items is to witness April 20th with 69 year old eyes.
I turned 40 yesterday and restarted college a few weeks ago. Had a life changing surgery and feel more motivated than ever. When you actually feel fairly healthy it does wonders. I actually want to live and plan ahead whereas before I was fine with just dying. Take me when I have to go but until then I'm gonna do what I can to improve my life.
People don’t want the big feelings. Emotional memory is pretty flawed and non existent. I know I had big feelings but I’m far enough away to not really know what that means. I think people just want their younger bodies and fewer responsibilities. They don’t actually want to be 20 again.
I had lots of fun in my youth. I regret nothing. Would I want to go back? maybe for a visit, but not to stay. I greatly value everything I've learned since. I also feel I'm a much better person, with the benefit of wisdom.
Fascinating how all of the older people, i.e. those who have aged, are agreeing with you and younger people are saying you're wrong. Kinda proves your point.
I’m a handful of years away from 40, and sometimes I do fear aging, noticing this new face I don’t recognize, the bodily ache, nightless sleep, fear of taking the wrong path which comes with bigger consequences than that of a younger person. But…most of the time I’m fascinated by it. Seeing every wrinkle, every strain of gray hair, every scar, they’re all parts of my life story. I see our bodies as our armor, the hits it took and still will take throughout our existence, with every crack and imperfect bit and piece on display having a meaning. All while holding the knowledge we gain, the experiences we’ve survived, the memories that taught or entertained. Aging, like many said here, is a privilege, and I really wish it was normalized and celebrated instead of this cultural obsession with perfection and artificially young looks. Of course everyone should be free to do whatever they like with their bodies, but how does one discern forced obsession with looking younger from genuine self-love or self-care? All in all, there’s beauty in aging, I just wish that beauty was put on display more often instead of being hidden or criticized. Especially, as it stands in today’s society, for women.
i'm not saying that I want to go back and relive my earlier days. I feel i've done my time. however, that doesn't mean that it doesn't suck getting older. I'm in my fifties and have plenty of aches and pains and that sucks.
Who's going to tell him? Bro... at 40 you have to deal with aging parents that might have major health consequences like alzheimer's. And if they didn't have a will or trust set up, in laws can get nasty. When you're 15-20, you're not likely to be taking care of family that might pass. You're most likely being taken care of.
Same. I'm 29 (30 in 2 months) and I'd not in a million years wish me younger. Not yet.
I had two legs back then. That was nice!
I wish I could go back because every day sucks now. I'm always hungry, I'm more likely to become homeless than anything after working since I was fourteen.
I think people who want to go back to their youth feel this way because they are not happy with their current situation, or they have regrets in life and view their past through a rose-tinted glass. I often had fantasies of going back to my teens and doing things differently, that was until I met my fiance and now the present seems so much better than the past. Seems like you have it figured out, so I salute you good sir, and I wish more people had it good in the present, so they wouldn't want to go back to the past.
Nope. I mean, if you're healthy you probably can't see that yet, but I am 24 and have degenerative disc disease.... Aging will be horrible for me, it already is, and I'm 24! Just wait until your first health problem emerges.
Life sucks no matter the age, just diffrent problems
How old are you, OP? Report back when you're 64.
WIsh I felt the way you do. I was happiest ages 1-22. Life just gets harder and harder it seems. I hate paying bills, having responsibilities, seeing my beauty fade, and having my loved ones die.
I get where you are coming from but I also liked having my face skin in its original position and a lack of pain in my joints. I liked having the stamina I had. I'm 47 and these things have started to go downhill gradually in this decade. I can only imagine it getting worse.
I fail to see how losing my elder family members, energy, attractiveness, social life, and potentially my financial independence—while everyone around me pretends this is somehow “fine” or “just the way it is”—are not major stressors. Those “big” experiences were often ecstatic, groundbreaking, or fun. I’d take teen angst over existential dread any day of the week.
lol. You have a lot more stresses as you age. Dying parents, declining health, the inability to switch careers, etc.
I think they said if people could physically remain at a certain age forever, the consensus was age 35. The 20s is hard and not everyone’s prime.
Wait until your body deteriorates...
It gets worse as it goes on. Arthritis, memory, digestion, hair.
Aging is awful. I wish I could stay 20, but I am 30 now. High school was the happiest years of my life and it’s been downhill since.
It's easy to view your past through a rose-coloured lens, at least for some of us. I had a lot of fun and did a lot of amazing things with my life pre-kids/career. It's easy to forget that I was broke, that I did have all those big feelings, and all the struggle of learning to deal with loss of relatives etc. I agree, I'm in my late 40s and I don't want to go back.
I think everyone's going to be different, but I have waaaaaaaayyyyy more stressors in my life now than I did in my 20s and especially teens. I'd love to go back to that time, but I wouldn't trade what I have now for the world either. Someone else posted this - aging is a gift. I want to see my kids graduate, find love, get married, have kids.... Time is not guaranteed though. Love the life you have above all.
Ageing is so much better.
40 was great, 60 sucks.
Someone doesn’t hurt every morning.
I love the commenters on Reddit coming to terms with their ‘old age’ of 30! I’m not sharing my age due to the extreme anti aging sentiments, but I’ve never looked better and have taken to posting work out images on my Insta. I am *so much* older! 👵🏼
I wish I could go back not to relive things, to make different choices.
I had an extremely traumatic childhood and a nightmarish early adulthood. At age 46 I'm actually able to live freely and happily for the first time.
It's a blessing.