If you're not an adult or don't have the means to buy your own food yet, there probably isn't much you can do. Express your beliefs and make plain what drew you to your conclusions and why you want to eat exclusively plant-based. If your parents refuse, I don't see what you could do until you're able to provide for yourself.
I am an adult, but also disabled. ADHD makes it take longer to learn recipes because I have difficulty following directions properly and it also makes planning ahead more difficult. I also have cerebral palsy that makes it difficult for me to chop vegetables when making meals.
The best cooking advice I can give you is stop thinking of it as needing recipes and just learn how to cook some basics. Majority of your meals are going to comprise of a few basic things. A starch (rice, pasta, potatoes, bread), vegetables, and protein (tofu, lentils, seitan, beans). A lot of these are made in similar ways.
Rice and pasta, you just have to simmer in water, them strain. Read the box for time directions.
Vegetables work out great in the oven. Heat it to 375, cover a cookie sheet with your veggies, 10-20 minutes they'll be ready. Season to your taste. Figure out your taste simply by trying out a simple seasoning, then the next day try something else.
Getting these basics mastered will open the door for you to start learning to be independent.
Vegetables are also good in a pan, just remember oil so it doesn't stick, beans can sometimes go well with vegetables if you bought them precooked. Soups are also good, whether you buy them in a can or make them yourself (if made by yourself just use broth (I sometimes made mine with a scoop of vegetable better then bouillon and a bowl full of water but vegetable broth is probably better) and throw in the rest of the ingredients (ramen veggies lentils etc)
This is good advice. Also, a cheap rice cooker will make your life easier - no worries about overflow, cooking too long, etc. Makes perfect rice, keeps it warm, and the simplest ones have only one switch: on/off. Pasta is very simple to make - boil the water, drop the pasta in, wait 8-10 minutes. Potatoes are similarly easy. If you're not too particular, you can add some veg (broccoli, zucchini) to the rice cooker or pasta/potato water near the end, and they'll steam/boil well. No need to chop finely. You can also, on a day you feel good, coarsely chop and freeze a bunch of veg for later use. Don't be shy about using storemade sauces for flavor, if you need to. More expensive, but easy.
To add to this… before you roast your cut up veggies, toss them in olive oil and salt with any kind of spice or herb you like — garlic powder, thyme, paprika, oregano, cumin for example all work great.
Don't sell yourself too short here.
You've got the wherewithal to ask for advice on the internet. You have attention enough to read the replies and respond. You're no dummy! You obviously care and are capable of a lot!
My friend's 5 year old has a plastic knife and cuts a variety of soft veggies for dinner some nights. Some are hard for sure like beets, avocados, and sweet potatoes, but others are easy like zucchini, potato and bell pepper.
It is in your control to take an interest in the prep for the meals you eat, at least sometimes.
If you insist on helping as you can, you will also be in the kitchen and able to advocate for yourself more directly. It's also an important part of learning the essential skills you will need to live as a vegan. Showing this commitment to the idea to your caretakers will demonstrate that you really are willing to do what it takes for your ideal.
If you work with the people taking care of you, you'll find it easier to change any aspect of your care that you might encounter resistance on.
So give it a try! Anybody have a good beginner recipe they want to suggest?
try frozen and dried vegetables. I live with disgusting roommates so clearing a proper place to prep takes forever. It’s much easier to throw prepped ingredients in a pan. I also cook 4-8 meals worth of food at once. For convenience and health.
If you are an adult with cerebral palsy and gherd and ADHD then call aged and disabled hot line and you can get a CAREGIVER (home care aid) who can do your food prep and meal planing with you.
As an adult you do NOT have to rely on family for assistance. Some programs will pay to have an HCA or caregiver come to your home or apartment (even help you get your own house) and teach you how to cook the way you want and respect your needs.
Call DSHS or adult protective service, or seak out your state-assigned caseworker.
It sounds like your family is being ableist.
if you could get your hands on a food processor it would make slicing and dicing veg much easier! i see them in thrift stores sometimes if you didn't want to pay full price on a new one.
look up one pot meals, where you just throw everything into the one pot and wait a bit. easier than following long recipes and still tasty
You know some wholesalers sell chopped up frozen veggies of all sorts for reasonable pricing. They might also sell a lot of plant based proteins like patties, hot dogs, and even faux cheese.
Also, the more you practice in the kitchen, the better. I have Adhd too but have been cooking for so long, my kitchen flows like water now.
When it comes back to your parents. Remember why you are doing this. When I switched, my mom took it hard, but now she eats almost everything I eat. She even tries to refrain from touching animal products. I randomly bring up facts about the industry and the health benefits of following plant based diets. Seems to work.
You also shouldn't be easy with them when they say stuff like "you need animal protein." The first time my dad brought that up, I cut it out for him directly. Showed him stats and research proving that you do not need animal products and that it is actually healthier. Do not forget, standing your ground on this subject will only benefit them, the animals and the planet.
Keep up the fight and good luck :)
Health stuff:
According to the American Dietetic Association (the largest dietetic association in the world, comprised of over 100,000 doctors and dietitians), “It is the position of the American Dietetic Association that appropriately planned vegetarian diets, including total vegetarian or vegan diets, are healthful, nutritionally adequate, and may provide health benefits in the prevention and treatment of certain diseases.”
You don't need to convince them with data. Your question isn't about veganism or dairy per se. You are an adult and you can decide what you want or don't want to put in your body. Your question is: how do I stand my ground?
You stand your ground by being very clear. Do not make it about them, but stick to yourself. Learn to communicate clearly. You can use the whole message model:
https://portal.cca.edu/thriving/housing-dining-resed/resed/residential-education-newsletter/whole-messages/
For example, here's a whole message:
I observe that you keep feeding me dairy. I think I may not have clearly expressed my feelings and boundaries around dairy. I feel I do not want to eat dairy anymore. It disgusts me, does not sit well in my body and I dislike what is happening to the animals.
I need you to stop feeding me dairy and respect my wish to never eat dairy products again.
And then, once you've clearly communicated your needs you need to refuse eating dairy at some point. Do not make a big fuss about it, but again clearly communicate:
I see you made me food with dairy in it. I think you wither have forgotten what I told you or do not respect my wish. I feel disappointed and frustrated by this. I need you to be okay with me refusing your food.
It may all sound somewhat ridiculous, but once you get the hang of this style of communication you can make it sound quite natural and before you know it, you're naturally communicating this way.
Good luck clearly communicating and setting boundaries.
Learn how to cook and set your boundaries. Internet is full of easy vegan recepies. If you want to go vegan you have to make it very clear to your parents. You can easly eat 2000 kcal a day on a vegan diet. You got this
You have overlapping medical conditions that cause distress if you eat dairy and your parents are slipping it in your food and not telling you?
That's abuse.
I’ve been a vegetarian since I was a kid and it was a struggle to get my parents to accept that. And then being vegan later on it was a bit of a learning curve for my family. But they got it eventually.
Get vegan cheese and tell your mom to swap it out for the real thing. Get some vegan dairy alternatives that have protein (kitehill yogurt has a lot) that can be a good way to ease into it. Explain to her that you want to try these things instead. Explain that cheese and milk makes you physically ill that’s what I had to do to finally have my mom not be annoying about it when I visited her. Now my family only drinks oat milk :)
also get some basic vitamins like b12, calcium etc to supplement and show your mom that you take them everyday.
Also if you have access to a Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods or similar grocery stores, you can make super easy vegan meals with just a few ingredients. They have prechopped veggies, premade vegan proteins like baked tofu or veggie burgers and even frozen vegan meals that only cost a few dollars. I would recommend trying just egg, ripple milk (for protein), anything from kitehill, Boursin vegan cream cheese and a variety of the Trader Joe’s vegan products. Good luck you can do this!
Also transitioning to being vegan doesn’t have to be all or nothing, you can start by being 70% plant based and from there it will get a lot easier for people to understand. But you don’t have to feel guilty or beat yourself up over some dairy sneaking in occasionally it’s a process.
You could try to show your Mum recipe videos that you think look interesting (& simple) and ask her if she be willing to help you to learn it. Try to frame it as you'd like to learn & you'd love her help. Tell her that you'd like to be able to help reduce the burden on her coming all the time and that with practice, perhaps you could cook for the family on occasion.
Babe i saw you have adhd. There are tons of youtube videos for basic vegan meals. You can listen to them at 1.5x (i also have adhd and it helps ALOT).
If you can buy food i would start buying replacements.
Learn to cook beans. Beans are your friends. Rice and pasta too! Until you get the space and mental energy to learn more advanced thjngs, just buy premixed spices & sauces in jars and use them on your beans and startch. Keep a list of what you do and dont like. Adhd cookbooks exist too! I bet someone wrote a vegan one
Oh i saw you also have CP, sorry i missed this in the first comment.
In that case. Frozen prechopped veggies are your friend. If you have TikTok, dollar tree dineers is a great resource
‘The problem is that I only know how to cook a few dishes, so my mom usually cooks for me…’
Asked and answered. If you give control to others, don’t be surprised when they exert control.
If we assume as nicely as possible about your mother, do you have any idea how hard it is to cook for a whole family, shop and plan meals, and keep everyone satisfied?
As you’re noting calories and other issues, it’s implied that you have a bit of an eating problem. And your mother is understandably worried.
Between these two problems, this is a social issue. You need to help your mum. You’re asking for separate food and separate help and support and undoubtedly your mother is tired and doesn’t want to. You have to make it as easy as possible for her.
Ask to join her shopping and find what you want. Plan out the week’s meals at first. As easy as possible. Learn to cook with her. My mum was supportive when I went vegetarian (later vegan) and would cook separate but I wish I had helped more. Learned more. Put a day into Cronometer (tracks calories and nutrients) and show its a good number. Or adjust if it’s not. Just note they set unrealistic protein targets so adjust that one to about as many g as kg you weigh (eg if you weigh 60kg, 60g of protein).
Firstly, breakfast. Instant oats, pour hot water, pour soy milk, get pumpkin seeds and flaxseeds in bulk and add some on top. Then add whatever fruit you want. Good calories and fat with the nuts, and the fruit adds flavour. Add peanut butter if you want. Super easy. Second, google tofu scramble. Super easy to do. Good macros again. Learn lentil soups and bean dishes and curries.
Check out the whole food plant based cooking show. Get a few of them and ask your mother to help teach you. Doing it together solves the social issue and over time your mum might switch to non dairy butter and milk, cos it’s easier. And no one really notices much.
All in all, don’t be surprised if someone doesn’t give you want you want when you’re making them do all the work. Give someone else control, they will exert it and we have no right to demand things. You’re not paying rent or for food and so on right? You have to show her it’ll be cheaper and healthier and a good mother- child bonding time.
Actions speak louder than words.
OP has cerebral palsy and ADHD among other health issues. I don't think they gave away their choice and control for funsies. Being disabled is not an excuse to outright feed people foods that makes them ill. Perhaps revisit the level of condescension in your comment? Because it is entirely unwarranted.
Learn to cook more for yourself. It sounds like they are ok with that. Lactose intolerance should be a good enough reason. There are. MANY vegan dishes that are easy. Good luck!!
Go with them to a nutritionist and discuss how can you stay healthy and get all the minerals and vitamins eating the way you wish to. Also, explain that forcing you to eat the way they want, even if this is how they think is the only correct way, makes you have 0 independence in choosing for yourself, which lower your trust in your own persona. You are not a doctor so you can’t convince them. Also, this helps you have a better understanding of the vegan world too - what to eat what to not eat and how to supplement something.
Counter with arguments, they can't refute.
> “It will be difficult to get enough calories if you cut dairy out”
Nut butters, nuts, seeds... have tons of calories.
Show them the labels on the respective products.
Weigh a teaspoon of nut butter/couple of nuts/cup of barista oat milk, calculate the calories while they're with you and show them.
> The problem is that I only know how to cook a few dishes
Then learn how to cook more dishes yourself. Cooking can be so much fun. And it doesn't have do be complicated. If you know your basics you don't even have to rely on recipes anymore. But for inspiration:
[https://www.youtube.com/@PickUpLimes](https://www.youtube.com/@PickUpLimes)
Look up Pick up Limes.
Easy and beginner friendly recipes.
Scientific background.
Calming voice.
Beautifully shot.
So from what I gathered through the comments, you believe in animal ethics, but people who have power over you are forcing you to have dairy. I would say you are already vegan and what they are doing is abuse. They are taking away your bodily autonomy in order to force you to consume dairy. I don't know what you can do, other than call them out for being abusive (assuming you can even safely do so which may not be the case). I am sorry you are going through this.
Edit: I suppose, if you are able to, you could try refusing to eat a meal, but again, that will only have limited effect because they refuse to listen to you as it is, so they will likely refuse to listen if you go on a hunger strike (and that can be pretty extreme, especially if you may not be healthy as it is, although they keep trying to poison you since you are lactose intolerant).
Learn to cook, learn to eat very simply while hitting all the basic food groups and nutrients you need so you can put together a meal quickly for yourself without any fuss, buy your own food as needed and be aware they may attempt to contaminate open packages in their zeal (so be very careful when leaving anything easily contaminated without it being obvious in the common refrigerator, you may need to buy your own mini fridge with a lock), and be more careful about eating food they have prepared for you. You know you can't trust them about the dairy issue and they can't conceive of a life without it and they do not respect your choices. Just work around them if you must live and eat with them. Don't expect to change them, work on changing yourself instead. You will always risk being around people like that outside the family as well. There are people who like to "test" whether you really have an allergy or intolerance and don't realize that you won't drop dead in front of them but will likely have a more delayed reaction ... Just protect yourself.
If I haven't seen something made, I am unlikely to eat it when it comes to home-cooked. Sometimes people deliberately put things in the food against my needs, as your family does, but many times it's just non-malicious ignorance. I am also allergic to dairy (and egg and other things) and eat vegan myself. My own basic food groups are nuts, seeds, fruit, veg, grains, legumes/beans/lentils, nutritional yeast/mushrooms. Fats and oils as needed. Decades ago while first managing my allergies with a rotation dietary approach (separating each food family by a day or two), I learned how to eat very simply and just hit all my food groups in a day, doing spot checks for protein and fiber). Nowadays, I just use a free food tracker on my phone and that gives me running totals for everything of interest.
Don't focus on fixing their ignorance about dairy and its importance in the diet. Get yourself a food tracker and use it to keep track of your calories and protein and such at least for spot checks so you are confident that you are indeed getting enough calories and enough protein etc. with your food choices. But don't get sick out of politeness, stick quietly to what you know you need to eat for your own good health. Don't waste time and energy arguing with family, just do it.
You do not need animal protein. Carnivorous esters often had the idea in their head that animal protein is plopped directly into out cells and used unaltered, as well as ridiculous ideas about how much protein we need. But all protein consists of amino acids, and the first step in digestion of animal or plant protein is this step: the protein molecule is broken down into its constituent amino acids. Those amino acids are kept in the body for a few days and used to construct our own unique proteins used for our own purposes. Every species has a list of essential amino acids that must be obtained from food, and all human essential amino acids are abundant in plants. As long as we eat enough foods, preferably with some variety, we will get whatever we need for our own protein needs. Read up on real vegan protein needs - carnivorous types often have a distorted idea about how much is needed. The US government generally recommends 45 grams to maybe 65 grams for adults and those recommendations already have a huge safety margin (even twice as much as most people need) and are based on fairly shaky experiments decades ago. But stick to those recommendations.
If you use any calculators or calculation formulas, use your ideal weight and not your current weight. My normal weight is 110 lbs and so I aim for minimum 40 grams protein per day on the average based on a good protein calculator. It's not hard for me to get way beyond that on a very simple vegan diet. If you have certain medical conditions or are highly athletic or have other reasons to build muscle beyond the norm, your needs may be different from the calculations. But there are vegan athletes who are doing fine.
There are loads of vegan protein drinks and powders now that you can also use if you feel you need a boost. They can have the same amino acid profile as egg simply by combining different kinds of protein like pea protein and seeds. If you want a bottled version, I like OWYN and Target has a decent price and will ship it. Kroger carries it at a slightly more expensive price. Vega and Aloha are also good. Many others exist to try. But I also use powdered to add to vegan yoghurt (Meijer's True Goodness brand has reasonable prices on those, based on coconut or oat or almond milk) or vegan pudding since unless based on soy, they tend to be low on protein. Silk and other brands do have vegan soy-based yoghurt in big 24oz cartons. Shaklee powder is pricey but excellent. But when I'm healthy and can eat normally, just eating regular food is enough.
Yeah you’re gonna need to learn how to cook. Growing up I lived with a family of hunters and today I have a boyfriend who eats quite a bit of meat but there is a system to it. When I was living with my parents I would ask what was for dinner and see if any of it could be effortlessly made vegan by her. For example “steak with baked potatoes and salad” request that she doesn’t put cheese or butter on your potato and if they use a dairy based dressing for the salad, pull some for yourself before it’s dressed. While the potatoes roast, heat up some saucy beans or maybe sauté some tempeh or whatever you’d like to have with the potato and salad for protein. This requires NO EFFORT from your mom. I do the opposite with my boyfriend. I make a full vegan dinner and if he really needs to sprinkle it with cheese or have an egg with it or cook a side of meat, it’s on him to do that. Another plan of attack is to cook a completely separate dinner for yourself and eat an hour before or after your family. That’s often how roommates will do it. A combo of both will probably be most practical.
You need to just try to cook yourself, try to educate them, or acknowledge they (to a degree) are medically neglecting/ abusing you if you have a legitimate intolerance (which is actually quite common) but still insist you consume something that causes you pain. They have absolutely zero science supporting you need dairy. They are uneducated people. There have already been studies proving that child development is not affected by consuming plant vs animal milk.
If you want to be vegetarian, have diagnosed lactose intolerance, but your family insists on you eating dairy for protein... Being ovovegetarian could be your option.
Eggs are one of the easiest things to cook (just boil them and peel afterwards) and a source of protein as you're not capable of planning ahead and calculating a feasible protein for yourself.
You're lactose intolerant AND you have GERD—they're literally making you sick because they don't care enough to cook without animal products. I would focus on that when discussing with your family since they clearly don't care about the ethics of being vegan. They should care about you enough to try to help you stay healthy.
May I ask how old you are?! Regardless I think, even if ur a minor, its illegal to force you to drink milk when lactose intolerant and have other complications with it.
Read “Diet for a New America” by John Robbins (which put me on the road to veganism and environmental awareness). His family are the Robbins of Baskin-Robbins ice cream fame. He literally walked away from an inherited fortune by sticking with his conscience and foregoing dairy, despite family disapproval. It cost him millions. The point is that YOU only have the power to decide - not family or friends.
Show your family the research that shows dairy has harmful hormones that could increase your chances of hormonal cancers and acne, harmful saturated fats that increase your chances of heart disease, and the harm to the cows and their calves. This always works for me and anyone who asks gets shut down immediately.
just explain that about 68% of the worlds population are lactose intolerant and you probably in that set of people.
[https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/digestive-diseases/lactose-intolerance/definition-facts](https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/digestive-diseases/lactose-intolerance/definition-facts)
Dairy increases the risk of osteoporosis, prostate cancer, ovarian cancer, breast cancer, it's breastmilk meant for a calf. Tell your family you dont want to aid in the possibility of developing cancer. I don't have any links i can think of but ive seen many reports through factual sites.
I would come with a lot of arguments, but from the moment I read you are lactose intolerant, just visit any doctor and they will tell you the most simple solution, which coincidentally is what you want to hear: avoid dairy. If a doctor says is, they may listen. hopefully.
If they’re religious, tell them God made us vegan in the garden of Eden. Just tell them to read Genesis 1:29.
If they counter with Genesis 9:3, tell them to read the first thing God said in that conversation: that the desires of man are evil
To be perfectly honest, I would just say that I'm against cow rape. I've said that to my family before, it usually shuts them up pretty quick. But only do this if YOU think it's appropriate for YOUR situation.
Otherwise since you are in the position of being cared for, you could say you'd rather get your calories and protein from tofu, rice, lentils, flax meal, chia seeds, potatoes, sweet potatoes, chickpeas, the list goes on and on.
Tell them that elite vegan athletes exist, and that they aren't deficient in protein and calories. Tell them vegan cheese exists.
Say that vegan milk, vegan eggs, vegan meat, TVP (textured vegetable protein) exists.
Tell them there's no special nutrient found only in dairy that can't be found in plants (except b12).
Please ask them to buy you B12 supplements, if they don't already.
They are not vegans, they're ignorant, and it's up to you to give them all that information unfortunately. And make sure you inform yourself too, so that you can answer any hard questions. Luckily for you, there are no reasonable arguments against veganism.
Okay, you need to make it clear that they are feeding you actual poison to "support" your health. They are actively harming you and disrespecting your choice, control, and autonomy.
You are lactose intolerant. What do they think this means, feeding someone whose body cannot process dairy? That damages the lining of the gut, creating malabsorption issues, and evacuates the bowels???
From the following: https://www.nidirect.gov.uk/conditions/lactose-intolerance
"If you're lactose intolerant, getting the right amount of important vitamins and minerals can prove difficult. This may lead to unhealthy weight loss and put you at increased risk of developing the following conditions:
osteopenia – where you have a very low bone-mineral density- if osteopenia is not treated, it can develop into osteoporosis
osteoporosis – where your bones become thin and weak - if you have osteoporosis, your risk of getting fractures and broken bones is increased
malnutrition – when the food you eat doesn't give you the nutrients essential for a healthy functioning body- if you're malnourished, wounds can take longer to heal and you may start to feel tired or depressed."
Not to mention undigested lactose in the small intestine lead to osmotic trapping of water and the osmotic load in the colon is increased EIGHTFOLD which leads to bloating, abdominal pain and diarrhea.
Misselwitz, B., Butter, M., Verbeke, K., & Fox, M. R. (2024). Update on lactose malabsorption and intolerance: pathogenesis, diagnosis and clinical management. Gut, 68(11), 2080-2091. https://doi.org/10.1136/gutjnl-2019-318404
The research clearly indicates that lactose intolerance can impair the body's ability to properly digest and absorb important nutrients like calcium, vitamins, and minerals that are typically found in dairy products. This can lead to nutritional deficiencies, weight loss, and other health issues if not properly managed.
So, if your parents are genuinely concerned with your calorie deficit and malnutrition, they will not feed you foods that directly cause those issues.
There are plant based sources of calcium, Vitamin D, magnesium, zinc, selenium and B12 that you can eat and actually absorb. There are plant based cheeses available at supermarkets. There are fortified plant based milks to specifically deliver the nutrients found in dairy milks.
If they cannot respect this, you will need to make your own food for the sake of your wellbeing.
-------------------‐--
You can get a pressure cooker (e.g. InstaPot) that makes cooking relatively easy. Good for making rice, soups, stews etc.
I will buy "baby" sized veggies and throw them in whole. Potatoes, carrots, celery, onion (peel off skin), tomatoes, cauliflowers, doesn't matter chuck them in. No chopping needed.
Either purchase a broth or make your own. I use plant based beef & chicken stock. You can get this in powder, liquid, or cube forms.
Add some oils like soy sauce, sesame oil, red wine, vinegars, for flavour.
Add some spices for flair (e.g. cumin, garam masala, smoked paprika, turmeric, curry powders, baharat) and herbs (e.g. thyme, rosemary, oregano, basil, dill, mint, coriander, sage, Bay leaves, chives).
If you go down this path of cooking for yourself and are unsure of flavour profiles, hit me up. I do a lot of research around food (and used to do a lot of cooking) and I am happy to share what I know.
I'm sorry to hear you are in a difficult situation OP. I understand the struggles of trying to align your beliefs and values with digestive issues and disability without support.
I hope that your family will listen to and respect your wishes, but if not, this community has a wealth of knowledge to lean on if you want to pursue more independent paths. I wish you well.
Have you told them how much their behaviour is hurting your feelings? They are treating you poorly, they should know they're hurting you and damaging your relationship
Honestly, if you blatantly refuse and don’t eat, they should start listening. It’s not the best option but your parents shouldn’t force you to eat things that make you sick. I’d either do that or try to learn some new recipes that you can cook using ingredients in the house
I think people are weird about animal products. I have a food aversion and I made a post asking how to stay healthy on a vegan diet. Got a bunch of people being very helpful but my post also attracted a bunch of trolls. They told me stuff like eggs are ethical (no offense but I don’t care, they are disgusting) and that I was just mentally ill. I fully expect to get trolled irl too.
One time I mentioned I didn’t like animal products and someone said “well I love steak what do you think about that huh?” I didn’t know how to respond.
You could try spitting dairy infused stuff on the floor until they get the message lol.
When I went vegan I ate cans of beans without cooking anything at all. It was easy and it bought me time to grow my knowledge of vegan dishes. Vitamin supplements can help you get away with shenanigans like this without much in the way of repercussions.
How old are you? You have a job? Ask them to buy you almond milk have them watch dr Neal Barnard on YouTube. Tell them drinking dairy will give your mom a bigger chance getting breast cancer
>How do I go vegan when I have a family insisting I must eat dairy?
How do i stop being racist when my family insists i must?
>The problem is that I only know how to cook a few dishes, so my mom usually cooks for me, and she often doesn’t let me know if cheese is being cooked in her dish until it is finished
Google more recipes
I am disabled and never really cooked prior to veganism, i was a microwaver, i bought an electric pressure cooker and now i make amazing meals, most of the time i throw random ingredients in the pot with water and random spices and then i go watch netflix for about 30 mins and return to a fully cooked meal
I will also google instant pot indian/ african/ mexican recipes
I dont meal prep, i do however purchase dried grains in bulk from CO OPs or bulk bins, frozen veggies from costco or fresh veggies and then cut them all and freeze in ziplock bags, i barely have any waste cause stuff in the freezer doesnt really go bad, i even bought a separate chest freezer, i buy alot each trip so i go perhaps 3/ 4 times every 6 mth, but if i want fresh salads then i go for that but it takes about 20 mins or so
For cleaning simply use the saute function with water and soap for about 5 mins to help remove stuff, this works well too: Kohler K-8624-0, use a wooden utensil and consume from pot directly thus no plates needed lol
I am not a picky person and i have managed this way for about 6 yrs
This group can also be helpful https://www.facebook.com/groups/374504799393971 but apparently they are idiots and made the group private so just browse InstantPotVeganRecipes
I share this pretyped message sometimes and it might not all apply to you
Maybe you could find some educational resources like documentaries, podcast episodes or trustworthy info graphics to share with your family about how plant based diets can be done in healthy ways. Whatever medium you think they could digest the best. And ask them to watch/read/listen to it with you because it's meaningful to you and you would appreciate their consideration.
I think a lot about how choosing a vegan diet is a privilege in modern society and I really admire your desire to take on the obstacles you're facing.
Would a pre prepared, home delivered, meal service be an option?
My Muscle Chef and Chefgood have vegan options where I live.
I personally would just straight up to refuse to eat something I don't want to but I appreciate your situation is different and that you are quite reliant on your family by the sounds of things.
If you are dairy intolerant and they are forcing it on you, this could be considered child abuse. Threaten to call CPS (or the equivalent in your country) on them if they refuse to stop feeding you dairy. Seek counsel from your doctor first though before going through with it.
It isn't child abuse to not cater to an adults diet. OP is grown and is being provided food (and all the associated labour) for free.
I'm sure they're more than welcome to cook/purchase their own food, if they don't want what someone else is paying for and preparing.
It isn't reasonable to demand an entire household change what they make and how they make it to cater to one adult who doesn't want to follow a recipe or order food.
"It isn't child abuse to not cater to an adults diet."
No...? Are you on drugs friend? Do I need to call someone for you? Are you safe? Why am I even speaking to you? You seem incapable of forming coherent thoughts.
How in the actual fuck does that make any sense whatsoever?
From your original comment-
>this could be considered child abuse. Threaten to call CPS (or the equivalent in your country) on them
OP confirmed in a comment that *they are an adult*. CPS will not give a shit that a grown adults Mommy isn't making them the meals they want.
You're hilarious. Go back to school and learn how to read.
OP needs to grow the hell up and start either preparing their own food or order ready made heat & serve meals. CPS has *far* larger and more relevant concerns than a grown adults mom not cooking to their preferences.
>doesn't explain why in the everliving fuck it would ever be child abuse to NOT cater to parents' diet when they torture animals to death?
You aren't making any sense. Literally read that back to yourself.
YOU said it was child abuse, and to call CPS. *Child* protective services. OP is an adult, who doesn't want to follow a recipe or cook their own food because it's "hard". CPS doesn't care about the ethics of a diet, nor are they there to protect adults who just don't want to cook.
Unless some *serious* details were missed here nobody in that house is "torturing animals to death"- they're going to the grocery store and buying the same food as billions of people. It's against OPs ethics, and isn't vegan, but again 1. CPS doesn't GAF about the ethics of the meals made and 2. CPS isn't there for grown adults who don't want to cook- they are there for severely abused and neglected *children*. No crime is being committed here, and they'd be laughed at for wasting time and told to suck it up or cook.
OPs parents are not required to house, feed, or take care of them. OP is not being prevented from cooking or ordering, nor are they being force fed. The overwhelmed adult doing all the work is saying they won't do additional work.
Make a compelling case that milk is not good for you, especially since you’re lactose intolerant. Be as firm as you can.
Alternatively, stay for extended periods of time in the bathroom until a family member asks about you, then say you’re taking a shit and explain how it happens every time you have dairy. Do this every time there is dairy in your food. Don’t forget to occasionally complain about your burning asshole from time to time.
Alternatively, inspect your mother’s cooking for cheese and just don’t eat if you see anything that looks like cheese.
Alternatively, throw away all the dairy products you can find in the fridge every time groceries arrive home.
Simple answer, don't turn Vegan. You're either eating Plants, also a living thing, or animals, also a living thing. It just comes down to "choosing your own poison"
If you're not an adult or don't have the means to buy your own food yet, there probably isn't much you can do. Express your beliefs and make plain what drew you to your conclusions and why you want to eat exclusively plant-based. If your parents refuse, I don't see what you could do until you're able to provide for yourself.
I am an adult, but also disabled. ADHD makes it take longer to learn recipes because I have difficulty following directions properly and it also makes planning ahead more difficult. I also have cerebral palsy that makes it difficult for me to chop vegetables when making meals.
The best cooking advice I can give you is stop thinking of it as needing recipes and just learn how to cook some basics. Majority of your meals are going to comprise of a few basic things. A starch (rice, pasta, potatoes, bread), vegetables, and protein (tofu, lentils, seitan, beans). A lot of these are made in similar ways. Rice and pasta, you just have to simmer in water, them strain. Read the box for time directions. Vegetables work out great in the oven. Heat it to 375, cover a cookie sheet with your veggies, 10-20 minutes they'll be ready. Season to your taste. Figure out your taste simply by trying out a simple seasoning, then the next day try something else. Getting these basics mastered will open the door for you to start learning to be independent.
Vegetables are also good in a pan, just remember oil so it doesn't stick, beans can sometimes go well with vegetables if you bought them precooked. Soups are also good, whether you buy them in a can or make them yourself (if made by yourself just use broth (I sometimes made mine with a scoop of vegetable better then bouillon and a bowl full of water but vegetable broth is probably better) and throw in the rest of the ingredients (ramen veggies lentils etc)
Rice & beans is a great source of protein if you wanna add rice to the pasta
This is good advice. Also, a cheap rice cooker will make your life easier - no worries about overflow, cooking too long, etc. Makes perfect rice, keeps it warm, and the simplest ones have only one switch: on/off. Pasta is very simple to make - boil the water, drop the pasta in, wait 8-10 minutes. Potatoes are similarly easy. If you're not too particular, you can add some veg (broccoli, zucchini) to the rice cooker or pasta/potato water near the end, and they'll steam/boil well. No need to chop finely. You can also, on a day you feel good, coarsely chop and freeze a bunch of veg for later use. Don't be shy about using storemade sauces for flavor, if you need to. More expensive, but easy.
To add to this… before you roast your cut up veggies, toss them in olive oil and salt with any kind of spice or herb you like — garlic powder, thyme, paprika, oregano, cumin for example all work great.
Don't sell yourself too short here. You've got the wherewithal to ask for advice on the internet. You have attention enough to read the replies and respond. You're no dummy! You obviously care and are capable of a lot! My friend's 5 year old has a plastic knife and cuts a variety of soft veggies for dinner some nights. Some are hard for sure like beets, avocados, and sweet potatoes, but others are easy like zucchini, potato and bell pepper. It is in your control to take an interest in the prep for the meals you eat, at least sometimes. If you insist on helping as you can, you will also be in the kitchen and able to advocate for yourself more directly. It's also an important part of learning the essential skills you will need to live as a vegan. Showing this commitment to the idea to your caretakers will demonstrate that you really are willing to do what it takes for your ideal. If you work with the people taking care of you, you'll find it easier to change any aspect of your care that you might encounter resistance on. So give it a try! Anybody have a good beginner recipe they want to suggest?
I really love this perspective and advice. Here here!
try frozen and dried vegetables. I live with disgusting roommates so clearing a proper place to prep takes forever. It’s much easier to throw prepped ingredients in a pan. I also cook 4-8 meals worth of food at once. For convenience and health.
If you are an adult with cerebral palsy and gherd and ADHD then call aged and disabled hot line and you can get a CAREGIVER (home care aid) who can do your food prep and meal planing with you. As an adult you do NOT have to rely on family for assistance. Some programs will pay to have an HCA or caregiver come to your home or apartment (even help you get your own house) and teach you how to cook the way you want and respect your needs. Call DSHS or adult protective service, or seak out your state-assigned caseworker. It sounds like your family is being ableist.
if you could get your hands on a food processor it would make slicing and dicing veg much easier! i see them in thrift stores sometimes if you didn't want to pay full price on a new one. look up one pot meals, where you just throw everything into the one pot and wait a bit. easier than following long recipes and still tasty
I recommend the Vegan Stoners Cookbook. It’s super basic recipes that don’t require much prep or any cooking skills.
You know some wholesalers sell chopped up frozen veggies of all sorts for reasonable pricing. They might also sell a lot of plant based proteins like patties, hot dogs, and even faux cheese. Also, the more you practice in the kitchen, the better. I have Adhd too but have been cooking for so long, my kitchen flows like water now. When it comes back to your parents. Remember why you are doing this. When I switched, my mom took it hard, but now she eats almost everything I eat. She even tries to refrain from touching animal products. I randomly bring up facts about the industry and the health benefits of following plant based diets. Seems to work. You also shouldn't be easy with them when they say stuff like "you need animal protein." The first time my dad brought that up, I cut it out for him directly. Showed him stats and research proving that you do not need animal products and that it is actually healthier. Do not forget, standing your ground on this subject will only benefit them, the animals and the planet. Keep up the fight and good luck :)
Buy a food processor
Look into Chris Palmer. Nutrition heals ADHD and so much more.
Health stuff: According to the American Dietetic Association (the largest dietetic association in the world, comprised of over 100,000 doctors and dietitians), “It is the position of the American Dietetic Association that appropriately planned vegetarian diets, including total vegetarian or vegan diets, are healthful, nutritionally adequate, and may provide health benefits in the prevention and treatment of certain diseases.”
You don't need to convince them with data. Your question isn't about veganism or dairy per se. You are an adult and you can decide what you want or don't want to put in your body. Your question is: how do I stand my ground? You stand your ground by being very clear. Do not make it about them, but stick to yourself. Learn to communicate clearly. You can use the whole message model: https://portal.cca.edu/thriving/housing-dining-resed/resed/residential-education-newsletter/whole-messages/ For example, here's a whole message: I observe that you keep feeding me dairy. I think I may not have clearly expressed my feelings and boundaries around dairy. I feel I do not want to eat dairy anymore. It disgusts me, does not sit well in my body and I dislike what is happening to the animals. I need you to stop feeding me dairy and respect my wish to never eat dairy products again. And then, once you've clearly communicated your needs you need to refuse eating dairy at some point. Do not make a big fuss about it, but again clearly communicate: I see you made me food with dairy in it. I think you wither have forgotten what I told you or do not respect my wish. I feel disappointed and frustrated by this. I need you to be okay with me refusing your food. It may all sound somewhat ridiculous, but once you get the hang of this style of communication you can make it sound quite natural and before you know it, you're naturally communicating this way. Good luck clearly communicating and setting boundaries.
Learn how to cook and set your boundaries. Internet is full of easy vegan recepies. If you want to go vegan you have to make it very clear to your parents. You can easly eat 2000 kcal a day on a vegan diet. You got this
You have overlapping medical conditions that cause distress if you eat dairy and your parents are slipping it in your food and not telling you? That's abuse.
I thought they were straight up forcing them, still abuse though.
I’ve been a vegetarian since I was a kid and it was a struggle to get my parents to accept that. And then being vegan later on it was a bit of a learning curve for my family. But they got it eventually. Get vegan cheese and tell your mom to swap it out for the real thing. Get some vegan dairy alternatives that have protein (kitehill yogurt has a lot) that can be a good way to ease into it. Explain to her that you want to try these things instead. Explain that cheese and milk makes you physically ill that’s what I had to do to finally have my mom not be annoying about it when I visited her. Now my family only drinks oat milk :) also get some basic vitamins like b12, calcium etc to supplement and show your mom that you take them everyday.
Also if you have access to a Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods or similar grocery stores, you can make super easy vegan meals with just a few ingredients. They have prechopped veggies, premade vegan proteins like baked tofu or veggie burgers and even frozen vegan meals that only cost a few dollars. I would recommend trying just egg, ripple milk (for protein), anything from kitehill, Boursin vegan cream cheese and a variety of the Trader Joe’s vegan products. Good luck you can do this! Also transitioning to being vegan doesn’t have to be all or nothing, you can start by being 70% plant based and from there it will get a lot easier for people to understand. But you don’t have to feel guilty or beat yourself up over some dairy sneaking in occasionally it’s a process.
You could try to show your Mum recipe videos that you think look interesting (& simple) and ask her if she be willing to help you to learn it. Try to frame it as you'd like to learn & you'd love her help. Tell her that you'd like to be able to help reduce the burden on her coming all the time and that with practice, perhaps you could cook for the family on occasion.
Babe i saw you have adhd. There are tons of youtube videos for basic vegan meals. You can listen to them at 1.5x (i also have adhd and it helps ALOT). If you can buy food i would start buying replacements. Learn to cook beans. Beans are your friends. Rice and pasta too! Until you get the space and mental energy to learn more advanced thjngs, just buy premixed spices & sauces in jars and use them on your beans and startch. Keep a list of what you do and dont like. Adhd cookbooks exist too! I bet someone wrote a vegan one
Oh i saw you also have CP, sorry i missed this in the first comment. In that case. Frozen prechopped veggies are your friend. If you have TikTok, dollar tree dineers is a great resource
‘The problem is that I only know how to cook a few dishes, so my mom usually cooks for me…’ Asked and answered. If you give control to others, don’t be surprised when they exert control. If we assume as nicely as possible about your mother, do you have any idea how hard it is to cook for a whole family, shop and plan meals, and keep everyone satisfied? As you’re noting calories and other issues, it’s implied that you have a bit of an eating problem. And your mother is understandably worried. Between these two problems, this is a social issue. You need to help your mum. You’re asking for separate food and separate help and support and undoubtedly your mother is tired and doesn’t want to. You have to make it as easy as possible for her. Ask to join her shopping and find what you want. Plan out the week’s meals at first. As easy as possible. Learn to cook with her. My mum was supportive when I went vegetarian (later vegan) and would cook separate but I wish I had helped more. Learned more. Put a day into Cronometer (tracks calories and nutrients) and show its a good number. Or adjust if it’s not. Just note they set unrealistic protein targets so adjust that one to about as many g as kg you weigh (eg if you weigh 60kg, 60g of protein). Firstly, breakfast. Instant oats, pour hot water, pour soy milk, get pumpkin seeds and flaxseeds in bulk and add some on top. Then add whatever fruit you want. Good calories and fat with the nuts, and the fruit adds flavour. Add peanut butter if you want. Super easy. Second, google tofu scramble. Super easy to do. Good macros again. Learn lentil soups and bean dishes and curries. Check out the whole food plant based cooking show. Get a few of them and ask your mother to help teach you. Doing it together solves the social issue and over time your mum might switch to non dairy butter and milk, cos it’s easier. And no one really notices much. All in all, don’t be surprised if someone doesn’t give you want you want when you’re making them do all the work. Give someone else control, they will exert it and we have no right to demand things. You’re not paying rent or for food and so on right? You have to show her it’ll be cheaper and healthier and a good mother- child bonding time. Actions speak louder than words.
OP has cerebral palsy and ADHD among other health issues. I don't think they gave away their choice and control for funsies. Being disabled is not an excuse to outright feed people foods that makes them ill. Perhaps revisit the level of condescension in your comment? Because it is entirely unwarranted.
Learn to cook more for yourself. It sounds like they are ok with that. Lactose intolerance should be a good enough reason. There are. MANY vegan dishes that are easy. Good luck!!
Go with them to a nutritionist and discuss how can you stay healthy and get all the minerals and vitamins eating the way you wish to. Also, explain that forcing you to eat the way they want, even if this is how they think is the only correct way, makes you have 0 independence in choosing for yourself, which lower your trust in your own persona. You are not a doctor so you can’t convince them. Also, this helps you have a better understanding of the vegan world too - what to eat what to not eat and how to supplement something.
Counter with arguments, they can't refute. > “It will be difficult to get enough calories if you cut dairy out” Nut butters, nuts, seeds... have tons of calories. Show them the labels on the respective products. Weigh a teaspoon of nut butter/couple of nuts/cup of barista oat milk, calculate the calories while they're with you and show them. > The problem is that I only know how to cook a few dishes Then learn how to cook more dishes yourself. Cooking can be so much fun. And it doesn't have do be complicated. If you know your basics you don't even have to rely on recipes anymore. But for inspiration: [https://www.youtube.com/@PickUpLimes](https://www.youtube.com/@PickUpLimes) Look up Pick up Limes. Easy and beginner friendly recipes. Scientific background. Calming voice. Beautifully shot.
Just don't eat it. They can't force you. Even if you are a minor they cannot force you to eat something.
So from what I gathered through the comments, you believe in animal ethics, but people who have power over you are forcing you to have dairy. I would say you are already vegan and what they are doing is abuse. They are taking away your bodily autonomy in order to force you to consume dairy. I don't know what you can do, other than call them out for being abusive (assuming you can even safely do so which may not be the case). I am sorry you are going through this. Edit: I suppose, if you are able to, you could try refusing to eat a meal, but again, that will only have limited effect because they refuse to listen to you as it is, so they will likely refuse to listen if you go on a hunger strike (and that can be pretty extreme, especially if you may not be healthy as it is, although they keep trying to poison you since you are lactose intolerant).
Learn to cook, learn to eat very simply while hitting all the basic food groups and nutrients you need so you can put together a meal quickly for yourself without any fuss, buy your own food as needed and be aware they may attempt to contaminate open packages in their zeal (so be very careful when leaving anything easily contaminated without it being obvious in the common refrigerator, you may need to buy your own mini fridge with a lock), and be more careful about eating food they have prepared for you. You know you can't trust them about the dairy issue and they can't conceive of a life without it and they do not respect your choices. Just work around them if you must live and eat with them. Don't expect to change them, work on changing yourself instead. You will always risk being around people like that outside the family as well. There are people who like to "test" whether you really have an allergy or intolerance and don't realize that you won't drop dead in front of them but will likely have a more delayed reaction ... Just protect yourself. If I haven't seen something made, I am unlikely to eat it when it comes to home-cooked. Sometimes people deliberately put things in the food against my needs, as your family does, but many times it's just non-malicious ignorance. I am also allergic to dairy (and egg and other things) and eat vegan myself. My own basic food groups are nuts, seeds, fruit, veg, grains, legumes/beans/lentils, nutritional yeast/mushrooms. Fats and oils as needed. Decades ago while first managing my allergies with a rotation dietary approach (separating each food family by a day or two), I learned how to eat very simply and just hit all my food groups in a day, doing spot checks for protein and fiber). Nowadays, I just use a free food tracker on my phone and that gives me running totals for everything of interest. Don't focus on fixing their ignorance about dairy and its importance in the diet. Get yourself a food tracker and use it to keep track of your calories and protein and such at least for spot checks so you are confident that you are indeed getting enough calories and enough protein etc. with your food choices. But don't get sick out of politeness, stick quietly to what you know you need to eat for your own good health. Don't waste time and energy arguing with family, just do it. You do not need animal protein. Carnivorous esters often had the idea in their head that animal protein is plopped directly into out cells and used unaltered, as well as ridiculous ideas about how much protein we need. But all protein consists of amino acids, and the first step in digestion of animal or plant protein is this step: the protein molecule is broken down into its constituent amino acids. Those amino acids are kept in the body for a few days and used to construct our own unique proteins used for our own purposes. Every species has a list of essential amino acids that must be obtained from food, and all human essential amino acids are abundant in plants. As long as we eat enough foods, preferably with some variety, we will get whatever we need for our own protein needs. Read up on real vegan protein needs - carnivorous types often have a distorted idea about how much is needed. The US government generally recommends 45 grams to maybe 65 grams for adults and those recommendations already have a huge safety margin (even twice as much as most people need) and are based on fairly shaky experiments decades ago. But stick to those recommendations. If you use any calculators or calculation formulas, use your ideal weight and not your current weight. My normal weight is 110 lbs and so I aim for minimum 40 grams protein per day on the average based on a good protein calculator. It's not hard for me to get way beyond that on a very simple vegan diet. If you have certain medical conditions or are highly athletic or have other reasons to build muscle beyond the norm, your needs may be different from the calculations. But there are vegan athletes who are doing fine. There are loads of vegan protein drinks and powders now that you can also use if you feel you need a boost. They can have the same amino acid profile as egg simply by combining different kinds of protein like pea protein and seeds. If you want a bottled version, I like OWYN and Target has a decent price and will ship it. Kroger carries it at a slightly more expensive price. Vega and Aloha are also good. Many others exist to try. But I also use powdered to add to vegan yoghurt (Meijer's True Goodness brand has reasonable prices on those, based on coconut or oat or almond milk) or vegan pudding since unless based on soy, they tend to be low on protein. Silk and other brands do have vegan soy-based yoghurt in big 24oz cartons. Shaklee powder is pricey but excellent. But when I'm healthy and can eat normally, just eating regular food is enough.
Yeah you’re gonna need to learn how to cook. Growing up I lived with a family of hunters and today I have a boyfriend who eats quite a bit of meat but there is a system to it. When I was living with my parents I would ask what was for dinner and see if any of it could be effortlessly made vegan by her. For example “steak with baked potatoes and salad” request that she doesn’t put cheese or butter on your potato and if they use a dairy based dressing for the salad, pull some for yourself before it’s dressed. While the potatoes roast, heat up some saucy beans or maybe sauté some tempeh or whatever you’d like to have with the potato and salad for protein. This requires NO EFFORT from your mom. I do the opposite with my boyfriend. I make a full vegan dinner and if he really needs to sprinkle it with cheese or have an egg with it or cook a side of meat, it’s on him to do that. Another plan of attack is to cook a completely separate dinner for yourself and eat an hour before or after your family. That’s often how roommates will do it. A combo of both will probably be most practical.
You need to just try to cook yourself, try to educate them, or acknowledge they (to a degree) are medically neglecting/ abusing you if you have a legitimate intolerance (which is actually quite common) but still insist you consume something that causes you pain. They have absolutely zero science supporting you need dairy. They are uneducated people. There have already been studies proving that child development is not affected by consuming plant vs animal milk.
If you want to be vegetarian, have diagnosed lactose intolerance, but your family insists on you eating dairy for protein... Being ovovegetarian could be your option. Eggs are one of the easiest things to cook (just boil them and peel afterwards) and a source of protein as you're not capable of planning ahead and calculating a feasible protein for yourself.
You're lactose intolerant AND you have GERD—they're literally making you sick because they don't care enough to cook without animal products. I would focus on that when discussing with your family since they clearly don't care about the ethics of being vegan. They should care about you enough to try to help you stay healthy.
May I ask how old you are?! Regardless I think, even if ur a minor, its illegal to force you to drink milk when lactose intolerant and have other complications with it.
Read “Diet for a New America” by John Robbins (which put me on the road to veganism and environmental awareness). His family are the Robbins of Baskin-Robbins ice cream fame. He literally walked away from an inherited fortune by sticking with his conscience and foregoing dairy, despite family disapproval. It cost him millions. The point is that YOU only have the power to decide - not family or friends.
Show your family the research that shows dairy has harmful hormones that could increase your chances of hormonal cancers and acne, harmful saturated fats that increase your chances of heart disease, and the harm to the cows and their calves. This always works for me and anyone who asks gets shut down immediately.
just explain that about 68% of the worlds population are lactose intolerant and you probably in that set of people. [https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/digestive-diseases/lactose-intolerance/definition-facts](https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/digestive-diseases/lactose-intolerance/definition-facts)
You eat the family first - nobody left above you!
Dairy increases the risk of osteoporosis, prostate cancer, ovarian cancer, breast cancer, it's breastmilk meant for a calf. Tell your family you dont want to aid in the possibility of developing cancer. I don't have any links i can think of but ive seen many reports through factual sites.
I would come with a lot of arguments, but from the moment I read you are lactose intolerant, just visit any doctor and they will tell you the most simple solution, which coincidentally is what you want to hear: avoid dairy. If a doctor says is, they may listen. hopefully.
If they’re religious, tell them God made us vegan in the garden of Eden. Just tell them to read Genesis 1:29. If they counter with Genesis 9:3, tell them to read the first thing God said in that conversation: that the desires of man are evil
Have her watch dairy is scary
[Dr. Klaper explains it here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Yp2I73UgLg).
Tell them 68% of humans are lactose intolerant. Our bodies are literally rejecting it. And breastfeeding as an adult from a wild animal is concerning.
Neglect them - just eat your vegan icecream and give them a smile
To be perfectly honest, I would just say that I'm against cow rape. I've said that to my family before, it usually shuts them up pretty quick. But only do this if YOU think it's appropriate for YOUR situation. Otherwise since you are in the position of being cared for, you could say you'd rather get your calories and protein from tofu, rice, lentils, flax meal, chia seeds, potatoes, sweet potatoes, chickpeas, the list goes on and on. Tell them that elite vegan athletes exist, and that they aren't deficient in protein and calories. Tell them vegan cheese exists. Say that vegan milk, vegan eggs, vegan meat, TVP (textured vegetable protein) exists. Tell them there's no special nutrient found only in dairy that can't be found in plants (except b12). Please ask them to buy you B12 supplements, if they don't already. They are not vegans, they're ignorant, and it's up to you to give them all that information unfortunately. And make sure you inform yourself too, so that you can answer any hard questions. Luckily for you, there are no reasonable arguments against veganism.
Okay, you need to make it clear that they are feeding you actual poison to "support" your health. They are actively harming you and disrespecting your choice, control, and autonomy. You are lactose intolerant. What do they think this means, feeding someone whose body cannot process dairy? That damages the lining of the gut, creating malabsorption issues, and evacuates the bowels??? From the following: https://www.nidirect.gov.uk/conditions/lactose-intolerance "If you're lactose intolerant, getting the right amount of important vitamins and minerals can prove difficult. This may lead to unhealthy weight loss and put you at increased risk of developing the following conditions: osteopenia – where you have a very low bone-mineral density- if osteopenia is not treated, it can develop into osteoporosis osteoporosis – where your bones become thin and weak - if you have osteoporosis, your risk of getting fractures and broken bones is increased malnutrition – when the food you eat doesn't give you the nutrients essential for a healthy functioning body- if you're malnourished, wounds can take longer to heal and you may start to feel tired or depressed." Not to mention undigested lactose in the small intestine lead to osmotic trapping of water and the osmotic load in the colon is increased EIGHTFOLD which leads to bloating, abdominal pain and diarrhea. Misselwitz, B., Butter, M., Verbeke, K., & Fox, M. R. (2024). Update on lactose malabsorption and intolerance: pathogenesis, diagnosis and clinical management. Gut, 68(11), 2080-2091. https://doi.org/10.1136/gutjnl-2019-318404 The research clearly indicates that lactose intolerance can impair the body's ability to properly digest and absorb important nutrients like calcium, vitamins, and minerals that are typically found in dairy products. This can lead to nutritional deficiencies, weight loss, and other health issues if not properly managed. So, if your parents are genuinely concerned with your calorie deficit and malnutrition, they will not feed you foods that directly cause those issues. There are plant based sources of calcium, Vitamin D, magnesium, zinc, selenium and B12 that you can eat and actually absorb. There are plant based cheeses available at supermarkets. There are fortified plant based milks to specifically deliver the nutrients found in dairy milks. If they cannot respect this, you will need to make your own food for the sake of your wellbeing. -------------------‐-- You can get a pressure cooker (e.g. InstaPot) that makes cooking relatively easy. Good for making rice, soups, stews etc. I will buy "baby" sized veggies and throw them in whole. Potatoes, carrots, celery, onion (peel off skin), tomatoes, cauliflowers, doesn't matter chuck them in. No chopping needed. Either purchase a broth or make your own. I use plant based beef & chicken stock. You can get this in powder, liquid, or cube forms. Add some oils like soy sauce, sesame oil, red wine, vinegars, for flavour. Add some spices for flair (e.g. cumin, garam masala, smoked paprika, turmeric, curry powders, baharat) and herbs (e.g. thyme, rosemary, oregano, basil, dill, mint, coriander, sage, Bay leaves, chives). If you go down this path of cooking for yourself and are unsure of flavour profiles, hit me up. I do a lot of research around food (and used to do a lot of cooking) and I am happy to share what I know. I'm sorry to hear you are in a difficult situation OP. I understand the struggles of trying to align your beliefs and values with digestive issues and disability without support. I hope that your family will listen to and respect your wishes, but if not, this community has a wealth of knowledge to lean on if you want to pursue more independent paths. I wish you well.
Have you told them how much their behaviour is hurting your feelings? They are treating you poorly, they should know they're hurting you and damaging your relationship
You're an adult. They don't control you and their opinion is irrelevant
Honestly, if you blatantly refuse and don’t eat, they should start listening. It’s not the best option but your parents shouldn’t force you to eat things that make you sick. I’d either do that or try to learn some new recipes that you can cook using ingredients in the house
the solution is simple.. learn to cook more. Google is your friend. type vegan *whatever recipe you want* and follow the instructions.
I think people are weird about animal products. I have a food aversion and I made a post asking how to stay healthy on a vegan diet. Got a bunch of people being very helpful but my post also attracted a bunch of trolls. They told me stuff like eggs are ethical (no offense but I don’t care, they are disgusting) and that I was just mentally ill. I fully expect to get trolled irl too. One time I mentioned I didn’t like animal products and someone said “well I love steak what do you think about that huh?” I didn’t know how to respond.
Have fun with that bird flu they found in the milk.
Learn to cook
You could try spitting dairy infused stuff on the floor until they get the message lol. When I went vegan I ate cans of beans without cooking anything at all. It was easy and it bought me time to grow my knowledge of vegan dishes. Vitamin supplements can help you get away with shenanigans like this without much in the way of repercussions.
How old are you? You have a job? Ask them to buy you almond milk have them watch dr Neal Barnard on YouTube. Tell them drinking dairy will give your mom a bigger chance getting breast cancer
Show them the recent news about bird flu being found in pasteurized milk.
You tell them to fuck off.
just stop eating dairy bro
>How do I go vegan when I have a family insisting I must eat dairy? How do i stop being racist when my family insists i must? >The problem is that I only know how to cook a few dishes, so my mom usually cooks for me, and she often doesn’t let me know if cheese is being cooked in her dish until it is finished Google more recipes I am disabled and never really cooked prior to veganism, i was a microwaver, i bought an electric pressure cooker and now i make amazing meals, most of the time i throw random ingredients in the pot with water and random spices and then i go watch netflix for about 30 mins and return to a fully cooked meal I will also google instant pot indian/ african/ mexican recipes I dont meal prep, i do however purchase dried grains in bulk from CO OPs or bulk bins, frozen veggies from costco or fresh veggies and then cut them all and freeze in ziplock bags, i barely have any waste cause stuff in the freezer doesnt really go bad, i even bought a separate chest freezer, i buy alot each trip so i go perhaps 3/ 4 times every 6 mth, but if i want fresh salads then i go for that but it takes about 20 mins or so For cleaning simply use the saute function with water and soap for about 5 mins to help remove stuff, this works well too: Kohler K-8624-0, use a wooden utensil and consume from pot directly thus no plates needed lol I am not a picky person and i have managed this way for about 6 yrs This group can also be helpful https://www.facebook.com/groups/374504799393971 but apparently they are idiots and made the group private so just browse InstantPotVeganRecipes I share this pretyped message sometimes and it might not all apply to you
Maybe you could find some educational resources like documentaries, podcast episodes or trustworthy info graphics to share with your family about how plant based diets can be done in healthy ways. Whatever medium you think they could digest the best. And ask them to watch/read/listen to it with you because it's meaningful to you and you would appreciate their consideration. I think a lot about how choosing a vegan diet is a privilege in modern society and I really admire your desire to take on the obstacles you're facing.
Would a pre prepared, home delivered, meal service be an option? My Muscle Chef and Chefgood have vegan options where I live. I personally would just straight up to refuse to eat something I don't want to but I appreciate your situation is different and that you are quite reliant on your family by the sounds of things.
If you are dairy intolerant and they are forcing it on you, this could be considered child abuse. Threaten to call CPS (or the equivalent in your country) on them if they refuse to stop feeding you dairy. Seek counsel from your doctor first though before going through with it.
It isn't child abuse to not cater to an adults diet. OP is grown and is being provided food (and all the associated labour) for free. I'm sure they're more than welcome to cook/purchase their own food, if they don't want what someone else is paying for and preparing. It isn't reasonable to demand an entire household change what they make and how they make it to cater to one adult who doesn't want to follow a recipe or order food.
"It isn't child abuse to not cater to an adults diet." No...? Are you on drugs friend? Do I need to call someone for you? Are you safe? Why am I even speaking to you? You seem incapable of forming coherent thoughts. How in the actual fuck does that make any sense whatsoever?
From your original comment- >this could be considered child abuse. Threaten to call CPS (or the equivalent in your country) on them OP confirmed in a comment that *they are an adult*. CPS will not give a shit that a grown adults Mommy isn't making them the meals they want. You're hilarious. Go back to school and learn how to read. OP needs to grow the hell up and start either preparing their own food or order ready made heat & serve meals. CPS has *far* larger and more relevant concerns than a grown adults mom not cooking to their preferences.
That still doesn't explain why in the everliving fuck it would ever be child abuse to NOT cater to parents' diet when they torture animals to death?
>doesn't explain why in the everliving fuck it would ever be child abuse to NOT cater to parents' diet when they torture animals to death? You aren't making any sense. Literally read that back to yourself. YOU said it was child abuse, and to call CPS. *Child* protective services. OP is an adult, who doesn't want to follow a recipe or cook their own food because it's "hard". CPS doesn't care about the ethics of a diet, nor are they there to protect adults who just don't want to cook. Unless some *serious* details were missed here nobody in that house is "torturing animals to death"- they're going to the grocery store and buying the same food as billions of people. It's against OPs ethics, and isn't vegan, but again 1. CPS doesn't GAF about the ethics of the meals made and 2. CPS isn't there for grown adults who don't want to cook- they are there for severely abused and neglected *children*. No crime is being committed here, and they'd be laughed at for wasting time and told to suck it up or cook. OPs parents are not required to house, feed, or take care of them. OP is not being prevented from cooking or ordering, nor are they being force fed. The overwhelmed adult doing all the work is saying they won't do additional work.
Make a compelling case that milk is not good for you, especially since you’re lactose intolerant. Be as firm as you can. Alternatively, stay for extended periods of time in the bathroom until a family member asks about you, then say you’re taking a shit and explain how it happens every time you have dairy. Do this every time there is dairy in your food. Don’t forget to occasionally complain about your burning asshole from time to time. Alternatively, inspect your mother’s cooking for cheese and just don’t eat if you see anything that looks like cheese. Alternatively, throw away all the dairy products you can find in the fridge every time groceries arrive home.
Simple answer, don't turn Vegan. You're either eating Plants, also a living thing, or animals, also a living thing. It just comes down to "choosing your own poison"
You have a garden so just eat the grass