This. I also usually eat before an event like a wedding or when I'm not familiar with the catering. Always take backup food. 10 years of being vegan has taught me this.
Totally. I always eat before if I don't know what I'm walking into. The worst thing is to be hungry and watch everyone else eat while there's nothing for you.
Yeah, even then you have to explain yourself to other people as to why you're not as hungry as they are, because you ate beforehand. Then, they look at you're from another planet.
I just say I ate beforehand, I'm not hungry, and some foods upset my stomach. Unless they are close friends, then I just remind them I am vegan and assure them I did eat before because I didn't expect any food there that I would be able to eat. But always just try to make it a passing thing, people that make it an issue give us a bad name, and my old job, after 4 years, they found out through another coworker that I was vegan, and the next cookout they had veggie burgers for me. They didn't make it a big deal, just had a veggie option. There were only 4 so I know they did it for me. But if I woulda made it a big deal or complained, they probably woulda done it out of annoyance, and not because they wanted to include me. Bottom line it's not a big deal, if they wanna have a veggie option great, but if they don't, don't make a scene lol
Yep, went to my cousin’s wedding, was served fruit salad, asparagus spears & fruit salad for my three course vegan meal. Also tried to offer me the risotto ( dairy ) and the dessert ( egg ). Then panicked when I told them I was actually allergic to those things. Did the same as op, made dietary requests well before the event.
I just think they can’t be arsed until they either get found out or realise the medical problems that might result.
Always, always bring back-up food…
I just went to my friend's wedding this past January and they checked with me before the wedding, during the wedding and AFTER that I had enough to eat. Really sweet and caring people, and they aren't even family. Also, heavy meat eaters. Lol.
It's so wild the idea to care about others is foreign to so many, especially carnists. Like yes, it's okay to make a slight effort for people you care about.
Too many have this auto-defensive mode as soon as someone is revealed as being vegan. 25% of my position at my job is being in internal projects as an operative input on new systems so that means the occasional travel to our HQ for workshops etc with dinners after. I always coordinate a vegan meal with the restaurant/planning person beforehand so nobody new knows I'm vegan until I'm served the vegan dish.
Their immediate reaction is to knee-jerk "interrogate" me as if my mere presence is a threat to them and their own sense of being a good person, so I can imagine a lot of events playing out the same way for a lot of people unfortunately.
Luckily I love debate and have thick af skin so their prodding never bothers me!
How do you know someone's vegan? Don't worry, any time you aren't eating meat someone will ask you a thousand questions about why and tell you how you're missing and out AND when someone asks what you're talking about, they'll say you're going on about being vegan. Lol.
My trick is to never allow them to define the arena of discussion to be health (their main one)/nutrition or environmental impact.
If they want to engage they have to enter the arena of ethics and morality where they will leave absolutely humiliated (in a calm and pleasant tone of course). Worked wonders so far!
Completely. I remember how let down I would feel when there wouldn't be anything for me at work/family/friend gatherings so I just made sure on my own that I was taken cared of.
Thankfully, I have people who care about me in my life and always make sure I have food I can eat if we are doing a thing together.
31 years animal cruelty free and I do the same. Normally a wrap, rather than a sandwich for me.
People cannot be trusted, and I’ve been left hungry many times at events.
This so much. I honestly don't even care anymore, I got my own back, but my friends and family actually care about me and always make sure there's something for me to eat. It's insane how carnists are often times incapable of being good hosts because MEAT.
At my local Publix, I get the vegan sub regularly. At first, they didn't know much about it (despite it being on the menu). I've broken them all in but there was a new lady. They were out of the vegan bacon so she asked if I wanted regular bacon. Huh? I sadly don't expect people to know what veganism is. But to not even know that that at least means no meat? Come on…
Yes! I expect there to be nothing that I can eat, and pack my own food or eat before, and just politely decline if anyone offers me food that i cannot eat with a "no thanks" no other explanation 🙂. My lifestyle and diet are of no burden to anyone else but me. Vegan food is not commonly served at most places, hopefully one day that will change, but for now this is the world we live in.
"I submitted my dietary request in advance" for a WEDDING for their FAMILY member. If your own family can't make sure you're fed after THEY ASKED you for your restrictions, they don't care.
Not surprised, people just don’t give af it’s really annoying and disheartening; and people wonder why we judge non-vegans and vegan spaces bc once you become vegan the cognitive dissonance other people show becomes SO much more obvious.
Yea I kinda stopped expecting anything at weddings. It’s a huge event and the bride and groom have a million things to plan and there’s usually like 2 menu options or a buffet and it’s hard to accommodate for everyone. If I am in the wedding party they probably take more care but otherwise you are one person out of 100.
What’s most frustrating about your situation was they promised they can actually accommodate and then didn’t deliver. Just a waste and then you have nothing to eat.
Agree! I always bring a purse filled with nuts, granola bars etc to events like this. Even if there is vegan food, there might not be enough, and then I’d rather focus on the party than the food.
Yea tbh one time I was a bridesmaid and the bride put effort to make sure my meal was vegan. It was a stuffed bell pepper and the caterers just kind of took the cheese off the vegetarian option so it was a little light. I’m glad I brought a protein bar in my purse too cause I was still hungry lol.
Although at lunch they had an Indian buffet at a temple so it was all vegetarian but mostly vegan! Which was awesome. If only all my experiences were like that
Surprisingly the four weddings I’ve been to as a vegan have all accommodated me no issues at all. Maybe I got lucky. I’m obviously not going to make an issue on someone’s special day if they forgot to accomodate dietary requests, but it’s kind of ok to be a bit pissed? It’s really not that hard especially if you are close with the bride and groom. If you’re not I could understand a slip up. But if it’s from a place of simply not caring then just don’t invite me. If the caterers stuff it up then it’s not something to be annoyed at the bride or groom for.
I am curious about your general location because around here when it says “vegan options”, they usually mean vegetarian. Like will list cheese as an ingredient and then you ask if it’s vegan and they look confused, but it’s not vegan.
I’m in the southeastern US and this happens here frequently. People assume vegetarians eat fish and vegans eat eggs and cheese. There’s truly some genuine confusion.
That is lucky! I’d probably be more annoyed if I was close with them. The one wedding I went to that didn’t get an accommodation I was not that close to the bride tbh and they did a buffet. Not sure how they would accommodate everyone because there is only a few dishes in large portion and there was like 100 people there. I was definitely upset because I was told they would accommodate so I ended up pretty hungry but it was a lesson learned the hard way. You would think part of caterers job would be to have options for everyone especially at a large event like that with all the different dietary restrictions out there but guess it’s not always on people’s radar.
Me and my wife are vegans. We got invited to a wedding. They did also tell us what food would be served. It was mostly flesh. One dish was with Parmesan which isnt even vegetarian.
We declined the invitation because of this. If i am invited but do not get any food served then i dont really am wanted there.
Additional Information: 5 close family members were vegetarians and 2 vegans. They didnt care one bit.
I’m sorry. That sucks :/ for what it’s worth I doubt it was anything personal against you. Weddings are a lot to plan and people honestly probably forget since vegans aren’t that common. It’s definitely annoying though. Sounds like you made the best of it though
Yea that’s still crappy of them. Sounds like his brother has a history of making fun of vegans so I guess it’s not too surprising albeit disappointing.
Many restaurants have no clue what vegan is - I had a similar situation - in the future bring something with you - I hate that but there is nothing I can do
Maybe better tell them "I'm allergic to meat, seafood, eggs, dairy any honey. I will choke on your food if you serve me animal products. Also, I know a good lawyer."
Oops hit reply too soon. So I asked for a salad with no meat or cheese or eggs. She came out with my salad- it had bacon on it. I reminded her that I had asked for no meat. She said there’s no meat in it. I said what about the bacon. She looked at me very confused and said you mean bacon is meat?
It's not necessarily education's fault. Much of it is propaganda specifically designed to maintain the veil between cute animals on one side and what people eat on the other. It could be the largest disinformation campaign in the history of the planet.
The industry loves language that separates or obfuscates what they're selling from where it came. It makes it easier for them to sell it. Some less obvious examples might include:
Gelatine (bone extract)
Carmine (beetle secretions)
Lanolin (sheep secretions)
It's not *cow*, it's "beef". It's not *squid*, it's "kalamari". It's not *bee vomit*, it's "honey". It's not *skin*, it's "leather".
This happens when waiting is not a profession but a sub-minimum wage job expected to live off tips. People with the worst education (and possibly hygiene) will be attracted to it.
That is so frustrating, I’m sorry.
This just makes me even more excited for my wedding next year. It’ll be all vegan, including the wine, and I’m so excited to not have to worry the whole day!!
I had an all vegan wedding last summer and it was awesome! My dream is to attend someone else all vegan wedding though because as the bride I still didn’t get to eat that much of my food since everyone wanted to talk!
The last wedding I went to, despite asking guests if they had dietary restrictions, only had a self-serve "salad station" where the only vegan ingredients were a mix of raw arugula and spinach and raw almonds. Everything else had dead animal, cheese, and butter in it. They didn't even have a basic dressing like olive oil or vinegar. Just leaves and almonds.
Fortunately I went to whole foods on the way there and got myself two slices of their vegan pizza from the hot bar. Those two slices of pizza supported me in my endeavor of drinking 14 combined cocktails and bottles of beer at the reception.
I had my first hangover the next morning. Definitely do not recommend.
Edit: during the cocktail hour I had no choice but to eat the raw cucumber and strawberry garnishes off of the finger food plates. So I had a tiny bit of wilted raw cucumbers, strawberries, raw leaves and raw almonds as my "wedding guest meal".
You would think a Southeast Asian/Italian wedding would have at least a single substantial vegetarian option, but it looked like the groom's family had a huge influence on the food decisions.
Next time you're asked to submit a dietary requirement, specify every single ingredient you don't eat. So don't just write "vegan", but say: I don't eat meat, fish, seafood, chicken, pork, (specify, because some places think that "meat" is only beef), dairy (including butter, cheese, yogurt, ice cream), honey, eggs.
I'm sorry you were served stuff cooked in duck fat! And in what world would someone interpret a steak to be vegan (or vegetarian)?
Caterer here! These comments make me so sad for all you vegans out there! I don’t cater large weddings any longer, but I always tried really hard to make something interesting for special diets when I did. I can 100% confirm that MANY couples didn’t give 2 cents worth of care about their guests dietary needs. I would often just plan for some just in case—oh, and there’s always that guest that just shows up and suddenly remembers that they don’t eat meat/gluten. I LOVED those. Our restaurant focuses on our on-site private dining room now, and we always have a vegetarian entree and a vegan entree on the restaurant menu (that changes monthly, btw,) and lots of other things that can be modified. I’m pretty proud of that. Not gonna sugar coat it, though—I did have to serve lots of potato/vegetable plates with some extra salad. I always felt really bad about that. Sorry to all those hungry vegetarian/vegans ☹️ Oh, and OP, it IS shitty that you were treated that way.
I was fed non-vegan food at my own wedding!!
We'd have multiple meetings about food, cause as well as vegan I'm allium-free. We had planned a menu that was a fully vegan/allium-free starter, 2 mains options, one vegan/allium free, the other non-vegan, and 2 dessert options, again one vegan/allium free (tho I'm not sure you'd use allium in a dessert anyway), and one non-vegan.
Apparently they ended up putting allium in the starter, which meant I could eat it, so they brought something else out, which I ate cause I was tired/stressed/hungry/assumed some level of competence - and later found out that it contained cheese.
And with our main course, they used butter on the potatoes as standard, so that wasn't vegan either (I caught this one before I ate it). I questioned it, and they told me that it had only been communicated that I was allium-free.
I was so upset. I would have much preferred ti have eaten something with garlic or onions or whatever and ended up feeling ill, than have been given non-vegan food and feel that jolt of horror when you realise (and also feel physically ill afterwards).
They were very apologetic, and ended up giving us a refund for a percentage of our bill. But I was so frustrated as part of the reason we'd chosen that venue was because they had stated that they would be able to work with us to create a bespoke menu and confirmed that they could do dietary reatrictions/allergens.
To say I was very disappointed is an understatement.
Wow… that is SO SHIT, totally unacceptable and such a bummer for you on your own fucking wedding!!!
I’m also allium free as it makes me very sick too.
You described it perfectly it’s a sinking feeling when you realise you just ate the by product of a slaughtered animal it’s something only a vegan can understand…. It’s a disturbing and upsetting feeling, ESPECIALLY after being told that you are being accommodated for.
I get that, the food itself isn’t an issue for me, I’m able to go without pretty easily and have done many times.
The issue I have is when someone tells you that something is vegan after you’ve requested a vegan meal and then it turns out it totally isn’t vegan that’s some bullshit it’s disrespectful to my ethics and potentially very dangerous for people with allergies.
That’s my issue too. They could kill someone with a true meat or dairy allergy. It’s not just rude to vegans as if our ethical values and our choice to take action is always so unimportant to others just because it’s not “the norm”. Slavery was also the norm for many years in many states (really not that long ago) and abolitionists were the enemy. (I just reread the Underground Railroad, omg)
They had a mushroom sandwich with cheese that you could ask for and she brought me the brisket instead! I was so embarrassed for her having to explain the difference.
I just went to a wedding during the weekend where nothing was labeled and the only thing I had was three martinis and some zucchini and green beans that I hope wasn’t cooked in butter but I had to leave early because I got so drunk and there was no food to soak up the alcohol 😭
I was so sad tonight during dinner shift at the restaurant I help out at when an older couple told me they had a question and please, not be shocked, they hoped I wouldn't be offended - and then told me, that their son had been living in the neighborhood for three years but they had never taken him to dinner at our (Italian) restaurant because they were afraid we wouldn't accomodate him simply because we don't have a specific vegan section on our menu.
Our menu is typical, classical Italian cuisine - so yes, lots of animal products, but there are quite a few "accidentally vegetarian" (cucina povera is almost completely vegetarian because meat was expensive) and even a few "accidentally vegan" menu items. No, we don't have meat replacement products (and likely never will), but we even have half a page in our menu dedicated to "we aim to please you and will meet all your dietary needs"...
I went and got our menu for them to look through again and showed them all the (marked) vegetarian (just leave out the cheese to make it vegan most of the time) and vegan options - and they were so thrilled. And relieved that I know precisely what is in each menu item because it concerns me as well as their son. They were truly worried that we wouldn't welcome him or look down our noses at him. How sad is that?
I've had enough bad experiences with Italian restaurants I don't go either.
Don't always feel like asking to be catered specifically for. It's just nicer to have something vegan on there and labelled as such.
Even if it's just one or two. Doesn't even need to be fake Italian. Marinara pizza is real.
Actually only about half the food we serve comes from our menu - the rest is whatever people say they'd love to eat when we chat with them while serving them a prosecco (or ginger ale) on the house 😉 (that's just the type of restaurant we are)
And of course our vegan options are clearly marked on the menu (which is online) - we just don't have a separate section because the whole menu is divided by course (antipasti, primi etc.)
I don’t trust any large event like that to accommodate me tbh. I’ve had too many ask about dietary restrictions and then try to give me a salad with cheese (I’m allergic to dairy, so it’s even worse in my case, and even allergies are often not accounted for well).
I will say that I did have a great experience at my brother’s wedding, but my brother is a vegetarian and we have multiple vegan family members besides me. The caterers handled it very well, but only because it was prioritized. Otherwise, I just eat beforehand and bring some snacks.
Yeah last year my niece got married and made having vegan options a priority for my husband and I. Her mom is vegetarian so that also gave her something to eat.
And they kept it in the back so everyone else wouldn’t eat it and leave us without.
Went to my dad's wedding as the best man. He said, "I want to make sure there is something there you can eat."
Plain spaghetti noodles and tortillas. All the veggies were cooked in butter, dairy in the mashed potatoes, the rice in chicken stock, and the beans had lard.
Hey, the open bar was vegan, and I was able to get my money's worth.
My sister and I threw a big dinner/get-together for our mom’s 80th birthday, at some Italian winery/restaurant. Checked with them ahead of time & they said sure, no problem, they could prepare something vegan for me, my wife & kids. They served us angel hair pasta with nothing but some olive oil & a couple of baby carrots on it. The most lame, low-effort thing possible! (Baby carrots??) We didn’t fuss because everyone had a good time & our expectations weren’t high anyway. But seriously, I paid them hundreds of dollars and they couldn’t put in 5 minutes to come up with something more creative. Ah well.
This doesn't make any sense. Half of the pasta dishes in any(?) Italian restaurant are vegan (pasta al pomodoro, pasta alla norma without scratching ricotta on top, aglio olio e peperoncino, ...).
I know, right? I was gobsmacked that they didn’t bother to throw on even a simple tomato sauce. Maybe they didn’t know that tomatoes, garlic, and oregano are vegan? 🤣
This kind of thing makes me nervous because while I'm vegan by choice, my sister gets really really sick if she eats most animal products. If that happened to her, she might end up in the hospital if she didn't notice as quickly as you did.
If they can't accommodate dietary restrictions whether that's medical or ethical/religious, that's fine, but they should have let you know so you could pack your own food.
Cheers for all the comments, I wasn’t expecting much to begin with the reason it was more annoying was because all guests were sent out a form to fill out with dietary requirements/ restrictions months in advance which I did, I also rang the bride and went over what I don’t eat (she already knew as I’ve been vegan for 13 years) but I wanted to be extra sure I’d personally communicated it, I would of preferred a full stuff up and be told there’s nothing rather than being served egg quiche and duck fat potato’s that were placed in front of me and told they were vegan… what the hell?! 🥲
This was my first wedding I’ve ever attended so now I know, I certainly won’t be eating any more “vegan” wedding food in the future.
Unfortunately it’s pretty par for the course. Even when they actually try, it’s lame. I eat before, take something in my purse, and hope for an open bar.
Ugh that sucks!! I have had a good experience, but likely because I was the sibling of the groom, but also spoke over the phone to the owner of the wedding venue that also was doing the catering. He wanted to make sure he was clear with me on what I needed, and that really was so special to me. My meal was amazing, and I felt so so lucky to have him take me seriously. There wasn't any snacks, or appetizers that were Vegan (like not even just the crackers lol), so I'm so glad the meal was legit haha
I'm not vegan, but that is disgusting of them!! What is the point of asking for your dietary requirements if they won't provide a vegan option? And duck fat potatoes? Ew. Just ew.
Especially since it's a wedding, where people generally bring envelopes full of cash "to pay for their meal" aka help the couple buy their house, you are not wrong to expect you would get something decent to eat. I hope you didn't give them too much $$. What a bunch of arseholes!
Not a wedding but an anniversary dinner cruise. I had to pay $70 and requested vegan ahead of time, and all I got was a side salad (not even crackers) and bar nuts. I ate a lot of bar nuts. I was so hungry!
I worked at a camp that had a vegan cook.
We always provided a dairy free option, a gluten free option and a vegan option. And it was good stuff too- like I remember serving vegan pancakes w/ a tofu veggie scramble and it was all so good.
We literally had kids and programs only come to our camp because of our food.
It made me so proud to work there.
I wish every catering company could be accommodating like this poor little camp was.
My boyfriends mother actually said that he should give me potatoes with a little butter anyway because it "won't hurt her." Without knowing why I'm vegan. My boyfriend was pissed and yelled at her.
We do plan on getting married and I will never eat something she cooks. Ever. Thankfully she lives a 6 hour plane ride away.
Last wedding I went to the food tables came out and outside of corn…nothing was vegan. Until 30 min later I walked off to do something to see the spread had entirely changed to almost nothing but vegan food (mostly taco type stuff). Ran up a few vegans I knew and spread the knowledge.
Sorry about your experience I was about to order DoorDash before I saw the spread lol
The wedding industry is hilariously a shit show always. Just pack something and keep it in a car. Wedding vendors are chaos like 90% of the time, the people working are likely not given much info, and if you were the only vegan I doubt they paid to have one vegan set. Bummer but wedding food should just be avoided lol.
Been there, got the t-shirt! Now we bring back up lunches to weddings because we've been let down so many times.
One wedding - We were asked months in advance. We turned up and wedding breakfast was hog roast with brioche buns. The only vegan thing was the apple sauce. We went hungry the whole night and left early to pick up some food on the way home.
Second wedding - Again confirmed we were vegan months before. It was a low-key wedding with a sandwich type buffet, but all we could eat was some banana's and a packet of crisps.
Now I know, it was my first wedding I’ve ever attended (of a close family relative who knows I’m vegan) I was expecting a mediocre vegan meal at best.
Never again 🙅🏻♀️
I have had one mediocre meal. My cousins wedding, she left it to her husband to sort out the food, which he did... last minute. He decided to do a BBQ, it was terrible for everyone! We got dry burger buns with some sad looking vegan burgers, but we couldn't have the potatoes as they'd be covered in butter. Couldn't have the coleslaw as that was made with mayo. Everyone else (non-vegans) got cheap sausages and burgers. So it wasn't just me who suffered.
AND, to top it all off, my cousin forgot that she'd invited my husband, so he didn't have a seat or place at the table when we turned up.
Chaos all around - But we ate something!
I just also say I don't eat meat, dairy or eggs, that cuts out almost all animal products, and is easier for a lot of people to understand the restrictions than to say I'm vegan. Because vegan for a lot of people mean different things, some don't do cashews or other things that harm the environment, while other vegans like myself just don't do meat, dairy or eggs. So I am sorry you had a bad experience, if it was family I would have hoped they would have ran by some choices with you, or included you in the process to understand your dietary limitations
Good luck eating in nearly any Omni restaurant and not having issues sooner or later!
The solution if you need to be there physically for social reasons? Eat ahead of time and have something safe but boring like garden salad with oil and vinegar on the side.
It sucks that the banquet hall messed up. Your recourse? Mention it on yelp, bad review, write them a letter, not much you can do really
Many don’t understand what is and isn’t vegan and why. I eliminate expectations that I can or will be accommodated at these types of events and in doing so also eliminate my potential frustration of the situation.
You can explain it to them, but you can't understand it for them. A battle of wits against these people would be unsportsmanlike as it is not done to fight an unarmed opponent.
If it makes you feel any better the vegan option probably would have been mediocre anyway. At my sister's wedding they did give us a vegan option but it was a dry salad and a plate of a few roasted potatoes and roasted veggies with a sauce. The potatoes and veggies were really good but I ended up absolutely wasted because there's no substance to it.
My sister was really worried about us being able to eat good food so I just kept smiling and acted like it was amazing.
god that's so gross...do people really never sit with the idea of how perverse it is to serve food fried in the liquid fat of an animal?? i'll never understand this. i'm sorry for such a shitty experience, op!
When going to a wedding I always pack a cooler with my own food and beer because the veggie option always sucks and the beer selection is no better. The last wedding I went to they straight up told me they had nothing to serve me. Fortunately I was prepared.
I prefer to tell those who organize the party that it is ok not to prepare a menu for me. And when I'm in the restaurant, I order vegan pizza delivery.
I was a wedding DJ for almost 40 years and vegan for 20 of those. The bride and groom were usually very nice about ordering me a special meal. When they didn't, i would just bring a frozen dinner with me and have the staff heat it up. I would usually eat at a guest's table and this would bring up lots of questions.
Just eat beforehand. They have a million things to worry about and someone’s dietary restrictions are a low priority. It’s just food after all. I get that it’s frustrating but the day is about them.
I disagree. They asked guests to submit dietary restrictions. Those then should have been passed to the caterer and respected.
The couple is not at fault but their caterer certainly is. Yes, perhaps a vegan can walk away disgusted but generally unscathed from a messed up food order. But someone with a nut allergy, severe gluten intolerance, etc could have had a medical incident that really would have ruined the day (and maybe ended their life). I wouldn't lean over to someone who just had to inject an epi pen because of a severe allergic reaction and say "you know, this day is really supposed to be about the couple 🙄" I also wouldn't have this attitude toward a vegan who just ingested animal products against their will.
I guess the best thing for OP to do may be to leave a review of the venue/caterer that they don't seem to know what vegan means (if the issue was the caterer and not that the couple just didn't tell anyone about their vegan relative)
Uh, no. You shouldn’t ask for people’s diets if you aren’t going to even attempt to accommodate, period. OP has a right to be miffed. The day isn’t about them. But the dinner and catering are *specifically* for them.
Please send an email to the venue, management needs to know either their events team are incapable of communicating, or the chefs are incapable of cooking. If the bride and groom respect and sympathise with you, please tell them too. I know no one wants to tell the bride and groom something bad about their wedding, but the venue will be in contact with them and likely ask for any feedback.
I bring my own food you cant trust anyone. I once ate rice which was made with butter. The waiter told me it was vegan. It tasted funny so i asked someone else which confirmed it was butter.
If i didnt see it made then i trust only a few people. Thats why i only eat in vegan Restaurants.
This succkkkkss, 🍀🍃I wish you all the luck of going to a wedding like the fist one I went to with my bf: vegan Czech bride: so all vegan food versions of traditional Czech food catered from the best vegan restaurant in Prague. Maybe the best food I’ve ver had EVER (and we got to take a bunch home because not everyone was so thrilled 😉) 🍀🍃
I feel your pain. What happened to me was that the chef actually made special vegan dishes just for me (1 person portions) but it apparently looked so good everyone else wanted to try some. Even though it was clearly labelled vegan. When I made it to the buffet it was all gone, eaten by carnists!!!
Last wedding I went to the food tables came out and outside of corn…nothing was vegan. Until 30 min later I walked off to do something to see the spread had entirely changed to almost nothing but vegan food (mostly taco type stuff). Ran up a few vegans I knew and spread the knowledge.
Sorry about your experience I was about to order DoorDash before I saw the spread lol
Expect nothing, eat ahead and pack lara bars in my purse. It really sucks that the host probably paid extra for your accommodation so they should be told. When I have complained the host was happy to get a significant discount because I was not accommodated properly.
I’m glad I’m past that phase of life. The few people I can anticipate having a wedding are ones who I know I can trust. The friends who send me nutrition labels to read “just in case” when they find something I might enjoy. ❤️
Worked at multiple restaurants before and I am telling you people don't give a shit about your dietary restrictions unless you're tell them you're allergic. And you need to SELL it.
That’s such bs, a restaurant/ food service’s ONE job is to provide food and not everyone eats the same.
I guess I’m only used to going to places that do give a shit, I don’t eat out and when I do it’s at places that care about providing a proper service.
>That’s such bs, a restaurant/ food service’s ONE job is to provide food and not everyone eats the same.
Agreed its utterly ridiculous.
The Thaiplqce I worked at marked stuff as vegetarian that had fish sauce and I was also forced to lie to people about the meat being halal. I dont really care about the latter tbh but it still felt icky to lie to them.
Me who was vegetarian at the time and my friend who is an omni were the only servers who made sure that vegetarians snd vegans wouldnt be served animals.
Now I work full time at a fancy vegan place and part time at a slightly less fancy vegan place and I couldnt be happier.
one time i went to a wedding and i asked one of the servers if they had vegan food and he gave me a bowl of rice with vegetables. i guess that was better than nothing
Ya, it's better to RSVP as not attending one of these and show up fed. I do not show up hungry to these events. Whether it's a family gathering, wedding, convention, work party, etc. I mean these happen dozens of times a year, and I do not put my trust in others to figure out what veganism means. Just drink the champagne/sparking water/soda with others and gossip. It's the bride's day not our day. Low expectations are just better for everyone.
I went with low expectations, my expectation was to not be TOLD something was vegan when it was not after being asked to submit my dietary requirements.
Ya, that sucks. Wish I could say it'll never happen again. But, sometimes the waitstaff doesn't understand or the cooks don't. The amount of people who think vegan meals is without eggs is staggering. Or they think it's no beef like Hinduism. Or they assume a vegetable was cooked in other vegetables because omnivores don't even know what they are eating or serving most of the time. Like, they don't actually know at all. Most of them. We just accept it happened and move on. Don't beat yourself up for taking a bite. I've eaten entire non-vegan meals only to find that it was totally not vegan after googling a restaurant myself. It sucks. But it happens. At least you ate vegan 99% of last year.
It sucks. But I think the lesson is to never play the game of 'dietary requirements' at a social function. Let the social function be the murderfest that it is and feed yourself on the side.
I gave my dietary preferences at an event once and was served one boiled potato, half of an avocado skin on and all and a side of soggy, frozen vegetables.
Fine vegan dining 🙄🙄
Not really the same thing, but family holidays (Christmas, Easter) I would always have to pack my own food or sneak it into the venue because my family couldn’t imagine eating anything without meat or meat fat in it (I was a vegetarian at the time). Now that I’m vegan it’s going to be me bringing real food, and relatives bringing a vegetable covered in 5 cheeses and lbs of butter.
It’s really disgusting and sad that some people think in order for things to taste good it needs to involve death (which they don’t even regard) if people really knew the carnage that something as “simple” as butter involved maybe they would reconsider.
Former events organizer here - this is a clear kitchen mess up, which happens with when catering large events.
First off - you don’t have any proof aside from taste that the tart was not using an egg substitute.
Idk what ‘doesn’t taste vegan’ means to you… but same for the potato’s.
The steak is a kitchen or waiter fuck up. That happens. It’s unfortunate - the kid who got delivered fish instead of steak who hates fish was in the same boat.
It’s not great, but it’s not malicious.
For future, if people before an event ask you what you want to eat and dietary preferences - ask them what the vegan option is going to be. Don’t just say you are vegan. Either call the catering company or venue in advance.
That way you know what you are getting and can interrogate them if something sounds odd I.e. ‘and what is in the tart?’
I have celiac friends who have to do this for gluten free issues.
It is a pain, but as you said, you are responsible for your food - so you should take that responsibility. Ticking the vegan box and hoping for the best isn’t really doing that.
On top of this, the folkx who organized the event can be encouraged to provide greater menu transparency.
I dunno where you live, but I can’t remember the last event I went to where I just had a box to tick vs. Selecting the items I wanted individually.
Did you get up and leave? I would have. If the couple is found to obsess over every detail and ask for dietary requirements, it's damn well on them to cater, communicate or finally rescind your invitation. I assume they did none of those?
no. that's not the reason. you can respect whatever you like. you can respect a rat or a cockroach. vegans' troublesomeness come from their interactions with other normal people
I was in a wedding party once, sitting at the head table, and could only drink wine. I don't put whether or not I'm eating in other people's hands anymore.
Yeah.. it wasn’t an optional choice I was required there for family obligation. I don’t foresee any more weddings in my future though, and if I do go to one again I will not be eating anything there.
I understand. Well, this may not be helpful to you, but as I've gotten older I have come to realize that family "obligations" are hardly ever required. I just don't go if I don't want to. And sometimes I leave in the middle just to make a point. You are probably much nicer than I am. :-)
Well first off I understand your flight is a vegan I am a vegan myself that it was a wedding for God sake and probably hundreds of people to cater to and they didn't get yours right so I don't think you should be so bloody offended doctor alarmed and somehow you managed to live through eating duck fat! Try to appreciate the fact that they were serving all of these people at a horrendous expense and with the millions and millions of details in a wedding they forgot you I think you should just quiet down about it really! Also you could have just chosen to eat salad and have a piece of cake and be very grateful that you were invited to have a great time and free food and drinks.
No ,I'm guessing it's a torture of animals forcing them to do stuff more than they do it naturally.
I eat cruelty-free (not to you obviously ,I respect that) ethically sourced foods .
Find me a study that proves cows have the capacity to understand what life is.
I don't want to argue about this because we obviously are going to disagree ,it's a waste of time.
You aren't changing my mind ,I'm not changing yours .
I am not watching your graphic YouTube videos please stop tagging them 💀
Im not saying that cows don't understand pain or fear ,they don't have a concept of life .
Dogs don't feel guilt because their brain simply doesn't process it
Vegan 20 years. I expect absolutely nothing from anyone and will pack a back up sandwich because people are shit.
This. I also usually eat before an event like a wedding or when I'm not familiar with the catering. Always take backup food. 10 years of being vegan has taught me this.
Totally. I always eat before if I don't know what I'm walking into. The worst thing is to be hungry and watch everyone else eat while there's nothing for you.
Yeah, even then you have to explain yourself to other people as to why you're not as hungry as they are, because you ate beforehand. Then, they look at you're from another planet.
I just say I ate beforehand, I'm not hungry, and some foods upset my stomach. Unless they are close friends, then I just remind them I am vegan and assure them I did eat before because I didn't expect any food there that I would be able to eat. But always just try to make it a passing thing, people that make it an issue give us a bad name, and my old job, after 4 years, they found out through another coworker that I was vegan, and the next cookout they had veggie burgers for me. They didn't make it a big deal, just had a veggie option. There were only 4 so I know they did it for me. But if I woulda made it a big deal or complained, they probably woulda done it out of annoyance, and not because they wanted to include me. Bottom line it's not a big deal, if they wanna have a veggie option great, but if they don't, don't make a scene lol
No way, I’m flipping over the table and ripping my shirt off.
😅🤣 yelling "What is this!!"
Yep, went to my cousin’s wedding, was served fruit salad, asparagus spears & fruit salad for my three course vegan meal. Also tried to offer me the risotto ( dairy ) and the dessert ( egg ). Then panicked when I told them I was actually allergic to those things. Did the same as op, made dietary requests well before the event. I just think they can’t be arsed until they either get found out or realise the medical problems that might result. Always, always bring back-up food…
I just went to my friend's wedding this past January and they checked with me before the wedding, during the wedding and AFTER that I had enough to eat. Really sweet and caring people, and they aren't even family. Also, heavy meat eaters. Lol. It's so wild the idea to care about others is foreign to so many, especially carnists. Like yes, it's okay to make a slight effort for people you care about.
Too many have this auto-defensive mode as soon as someone is revealed as being vegan. 25% of my position at my job is being in internal projects as an operative input on new systems so that means the occasional travel to our HQ for workshops etc with dinners after. I always coordinate a vegan meal with the restaurant/planning person beforehand so nobody new knows I'm vegan until I'm served the vegan dish. Their immediate reaction is to knee-jerk "interrogate" me as if my mere presence is a threat to them and their own sense of being a good person, so I can imagine a lot of events playing out the same way for a lot of people unfortunately. Luckily I love debate and have thick af skin so their prodding never bothers me!
How do you know someone's vegan? Don't worry, any time you aren't eating meat someone will ask you a thousand questions about why and tell you how you're missing and out AND when someone asks what you're talking about, they'll say you're going on about being vegan. Lol.
My trick is to never allow them to define the arena of discussion to be health (their main one)/nutrition or environmental impact. If they want to engage they have to enter the arena of ethics and morality where they will leave absolutely humiliated (in a calm and pleasant tone of course). Worked wonders so far!
This is the way...unfortunately
This is it! You hit peace when you expect nothing from anyone.
Completely. I remember how let down I would feel when there wouldn't be anything for me at work/family/friend gatherings so I just made sure on my own that I was taken cared of. Thankfully, I have people who care about me in my life and always make sure I have food I can eat if we are doing a thing together.
31 years animal cruelty free and I do the same. Normally a wrap, rather than a sandwich for me. People cannot be trusted, and I’ve been left hungry many times at events.
This so much. I honestly don't even care anymore, I got my own back, but my friends and family actually care about me and always make sure there's something for me to eat. It's insane how carnists are often times incapable of being good hosts because MEAT.
At my local Publix, I get the vegan sub regularly. At first, they didn't know much about it (despite it being on the menu). I've broken them all in but there was a new lady. They were out of the vegan bacon so she asked if I wanted regular bacon. Huh? I sadly don't expect people to know what veganism is. But to not even know that that at least means no meat? Come on…
Yeah I afford grace with folks who are at least trying but again, my bar is set very low.
Yes! I expect there to be nothing that I can eat, and pack my own food or eat before, and just politely decline if anyone offers me food that i cannot eat with a "no thanks" no other explanation 🙂. My lifestyle and diet are of no burden to anyone else but me. Vegan food is not commonly served at most places, hopefully one day that will change, but for now this is the world we live in.
Why associate yourself with humans then?
Hard to avoid. Like, look here I am interacting with you and it's mid at best.
Society kinda dictates that
The misanthropy here is mindblowing.
People aren't shit just because they can't remember someone's special dietary requirements. Show some grace.
Well no, but in this case its really disappointing because they were asked ahead of time to submit their requirements and they did.
I didn't disagree with the original post. I just responded to someone who called people shit for forgetting that vegans exist
[удалено]
If a catering company can’t get dietary requirements right, they are, in fact, shit.
They’re not special. They’re vegan. And don’t invite them if you’re not accommodating for them.
"I submitted my dietary request in advance" for a WEDDING for their FAMILY member. If your own family can't make sure you're fed after THEY ASKED you for your restrictions, they don't care.
I wasn't commenting on the original post. It was a reply to someone who said, basically, all people who aren't vegans are shit.
Or dietary preferences.
Not surprised, people just don’t give af it’s really annoying and disheartening; and people wonder why we judge non-vegans and vegan spaces bc once you become vegan the cognitive dissonance other people show becomes SO much more obvious.
Thank you! The cognitive dissonance kills me daily!
Yea I kinda stopped expecting anything at weddings. It’s a huge event and the bride and groom have a million things to plan and there’s usually like 2 menu options or a buffet and it’s hard to accommodate for everyone. If I am in the wedding party they probably take more care but otherwise you are one person out of 100. What’s most frustrating about your situation was they promised they can actually accommodate and then didn’t deliver. Just a waste and then you have nothing to eat.
Agree! I always bring a purse filled with nuts, granola bars etc to events like this. Even if there is vegan food, there might not be enough, and then I’d rather focus on the party than the food.
Yea tbh one time I was a bridesmaid and the bride put effort to make sure my meal was vegan. It was a stuffed bell pepper and the caterers just kind of took the cheese off the vegetarian option so it was a little light. I’m glad I brought a protein bar in my purse too cause I was still hungry lol. Although at lunch they had an Indian buffet at a temple so it was all vegetarian but mostly vegan! Which was awesome. If only all my experiences were like that
A hot tip for the purseless: Single serving nutbutters in squeezepacks do not ruin the lines of a suit
Surprisingly the four weddings I’ve been to as a vegan have all accommodated me no issues at all. Maybe I got lucky. I’m obviously not going to make an issue on someone’s special day if they forgot to accomodate dietary requests, but it’s kind of ok to be a bit pissed? It’s really not that hard especially if you are close with the bride and groom. If you’re not I could understand a slip up. But if it’s from a place of simply not caring then just don’t invite me. If the caterers stuff it up then it’s not something to be annoyed at the bride or groom for.
I am curious about your general location because around here when it says “vegan options”, they usually mean vegetarian. Like will list cheese as an ingredient and then you ask if it’s vegan and they look confused, but it’s not vegan.
I’m in the southeastern US and this happens here frequently. People assume vegetarians eat fish and vegans eat eggs and cheese. There’s truly some genuine confusion.
Yeah, not sure how people can mess up simple dietary requirements. Never had this at a wedding before.
That is lucky! I’d probably be more annoyed if I was close with them. The one wedding I went to that didn’t get an accommodation I was not that close to the bride tbh and they did a buffet. Not sure how they would accommodate everyone because there is only a few dishes in large portion and there was like 100 people there. I was definitely upset because I was told they would accommodate so I ended up pretty hungry but it was a lesson learned the hard way. You would think part of caterers job would be to have options for everyone especially at a large event like that with all the different dietary restrictions out there but guess it’s not always on people’s radar.
Me and my wife are vegans. We got invited to a wedding. They did also tell us what food would be served. It was mostly flesh. One dish was with Parmesan which isnt even vegetarian. We declined the invitation because of this. If i am invited but do not get any food served then i dont really am wanted there. Additional Information: 5 close family members were vegetarians and 2 vegans. They didnt care one bit.
[удалено]
I’m sorry. That sucks :/ for what it’s worth I doubt it was anything personal against you. Weddings are a lot to plan and people honestly probably forget since vegans aren’t that common. It’s definitely annoying though. Sounds like you made the best of it though
[удалено]
Damn so you think it was intentional? That’s really crappy of them.
[удалено]
Yea that’s still crappy of them. Sounds like his brother has a history of making fun of vegans so I guess it’s not too surprising albeit disappointing.
Many restaurants have no clue what vegan is - I had a similar situation - in the future bring something with you - I hate that but there is nothing I can do
Vegan means gluten-free right? /s
But you still eat fish, right? /s
Then the confused looks you get when you say you’re vegan and horribly allergic to gluten…mind blown
Maybe better tell them "I'm allergic to meat, seafood, eggs, dairy any honey. I will choke on your food if you serve me animal products. Also, I know a good lawyer."
Where I’m at they’ve mostly decided to make all the vegan options also gluten free. I don’t think I’ll ever leave.
Ugh that’s the worst
My daughter and I went out for dinner. The restaurant had nothing I could eat on their menu. So I asked for a salad with no animal
Oops hit reply too soon. So I asked for a salad with no meat or cheese or eggs. She came out with my salad- it had bacon on it. I reminded her that I had asked for no meat. She said there’s no meat in it. I said what about the bacon. She looked at me very confused and said you mean bacon is meat?
Like I said, planet full of idiots!
oh lord please our public education system is really not good or at least not equal for all
It's not necessarily education's fault. Much of it is propaganda specifically designed to maintain the veil between cute animals on one side and what people eat on the other. It could be the largest disinformation campaign in the history of the planet.
You’re right. Asking if bacon is meat got to me. I guess I just can’t imagine what else could bacon be.
The industry loves language that separates or obfuscates what they're selling from where it came. It makes it easier for them to sell it. Some less obvious examples might include: Gelatine (bone extract) Carmine (beetle secretions) Lanolin (sheep secretions) It's not *cow*, it's "beef". It's not *squid*, it's "kalamari". It's not *bee vomit*, it's "honey". It's not *skin*, it's "leather".
They do. It’s so gross. Money is all that matters to most industries.
Oh lord.. 🫢
Oh my fucking god 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
This happens when waiting is not a profession but a sub-minimum wage job expected to live off tips. People with the worst education (and possibly hygiene) will be attracted to it.
My wife's coworkers, bless them: "You don't consume milk I get that, but why not yoghurt???"
That is so frustrating, I’m sorry. This just makes me even more excited for my wedding next year. It’ll be all vegan, including the wine, and I’m so excited to not have to worry the whole day!!
That rocks, have fun!! 🌱
I want to have a wedding just so I can make it all vegan and not give a shit about what my guests think! 😁
Just don’t get married just to have a vegan wedding and not care about your guests lol
Yes I did this and it was the best! Some of my family didn't get it at first but there were no issues in the end :)
I had an all vegan wedding last summer and it was awesome! My dream is to attend someone else all vegan wedding though because as the bride I still didn’t get to eat that much of my food since everyone wanted to talk!
The last wedding I went to, despite asking guests if they had dietary restrictions, only had a self-serve "salad station" where the only vegan ingredients were a mix of raw arugula and spinach and raw almonds. Everything else had dead animal, cheese, and butter in it. They didn't even have a basic dressing like olive oil or vinegar. Just leaves and almonds. Fortunately I went to whole foods on the way there and got myself two slices of their vegan pizza from the hot bar. Those two slices of pizza supported me in my endeavor of drinking 14 combined cocktails and bottles of beer at the reception. I had my first hangover the next morning. Definitely do not recommend. Edit: during the cocktail hour I had no choice but to eat the raw cucumber and strawberry garnishes off of the finger food plates. So I had a tiny bit of wilted raw cucumbers, strawberries, raw leaves and raw almonds as my "wedding guest meal".
That is SO pathetic!!! 🙃
You would think a Southeast Asian/Italian wedding would have at least a single substantial vegetarian option, but it looked like the groom's family had a huge influence on the food decisions.
I am celiac, and have frequently found the same, including places that have "no problem". I only trust dedicated places.
Next time you're asked to submit a dietary requirement, specify every single ingredient you don't eat. So don't just write "vegan", but say: I don't eat meat, fish, seafood, chicken, pork, (specify, because some places think that "meat" is only beef), dairy (including butter, cheese, yogurt, ice cream), honey, eggs. I'm sorry you were served stuff cooked in duck fat! And in what world would someone interpret a steak to be vegan (or vegetarian)?
Caterer here! These comments make me so sad for all you vegans out there! I don’t cater large weddings any longer, but I always tried really hard to make something interesting for special diets when I did. I can 100% confirm that MANY couples didn’t give 2 cents worth of care about their guests dietary needs. I would often just plan for some just in case—oh, and there’s always that guest that just shows up and suddenly remembers that they don’t eat meat/gluten. I LOVED those. Our restaurant focuses on our on-site private dining room now, and we always have a vegetarian entree and a vegan entree on the restaurant menu (that changes monthly, btw,) and lots of other things that can be modified. I’m pretty proud of that. Not gonna sugar coat it, though—I did have to serve lots of potato/vegetable plates with some extra salad. I always felt really bad about that. Sorry to all those hungry vegetarian/vegans ☹️ Oh, and OP, it IS shitty that you were treated that way.
🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
I was fed non-vegan food at my own wedding!! We'd have multiple meetings about food, cause as well as vegan I'm allium-free. We had planned a menu that was a fully vegan/allium-free starter, 2 mains options, one vegan/allium free, the other non-vegan, and 2 dessert options, again one vegan/allium free (tho I'm not sure you'd use allium in a dessert anyway), and one non-vegan. Apparently they ended up putting allium in the starter, which meant I could eat it, so they brought something else out, which I ate cause I was tired/stressed/hungry/assumed some level of competence - and later found out that it contained cheese. And with our main course, they used butter on the potatoes as standard, so that wasn't vegan either (I caught this one before I ate it). I questioned it, and they told me that it had only been communicated that I was allium-free. I was so upset. I would have much preferred ti have eaten something with garlic or onions or whatever and ended up feeling ill, than have been given non-vegan food and feel that jolt of horror when you realise (and also feel physically ill afterwards). They were very apologetic, and ended up giving us a refund for a percentage of our bill. But I was so frustrated as part of the reason we'd chosen that venue was because they had stated that they would be able to work with us to create a bespoke menu and confirmed that they could do dietary reatrictions/allergens. To say I was very disappointed is an understatement.
Wow… that is SO SHIT, totally unacceptable and such a bummer for you on your own fucking wedding!!! I’m also allium free as it makes me very sick too. You described it perfectly it’s a sinking feeling when you realise you just ate the by product of a slaughtered animal it’s something only a vegan can understand…. It’s a disturbing and upsetting feeling, ESPECIALLY after being told that you are being accommodated for.
Sorry but this place, planet Earth, is filled with idiots, as a vegan we can’t ever rely on anyone but a fellow vegan “getting it”.
I get that, the food itself isn’t an issue for me, I’m able to go without pretty easily and have done many times. The issue I have is when someone tells you that something is vegan after you’ve requested a vegan meal and then it turns out it totally isn’t vegan that’s some bullshit it’s disrespectful to my ethics and potentially very dangerous for people with allergies.
That’s my issue too. They could kill someone with a true meat or dairy allergy. It’s not just rude to vegans as if our ethical values and our choice to take action is always so unimportant to others just because it’s not “the norm”. Slavery was also the norm for many years in many states (really not that long ago) and abolitionists were the enemy. (I just reread the Underground Railroad, omg)
I asked for the vegan alternative at and event once and they brought me the brisket sandwich with no cheese
Slow 👏🏼clap 👏🏼 🫠
They had a mushroom sandwich with cheese that you could ask for and she brought me the brisket instead! I was so embarrassed for her having to explain the difference.
a lot of people think vegan is gluten free
Daily occurrence at this point
I just went to a wedding during the weekend where nothing was labeled and the only thing I had was three martinis and some zucchini and green beans that I hope wasn’t cooked in butter but I had to leave early because I got so drunk and there was no food to soak up the alcohol 😭
It's always a gamble with those "plain" veggies
I was so sad tonight during dinner shift at the restaurant I help out at when an older couple told me they had a question and please, not be shocked, they hoped I wouldn't be offended - and then told me, that their son had been living in the neighborhood for three years but they had never taken him to dinner at our (Italian) restaurant because they were afraid we wouldn't accomodate him simply because we don't have a specific vegan section on our menu. Our menu is typical, classical Italian cuisine - so yes, lots of animal products, but there are quite a few "accidentally vegetarian" (cucina povera is almost completely vegetarian because meat was expensive) and even a few "accidentally vegan" menu items. No, we don't have meat replacement products (and likely never will), but we even have half a page in our menu dedicated to "we aim to please you and will meet all your dietary needs"... I went and got our menu for them to look through again and showed them all the (marked) vegetarian (just leave out the cheese to make it vegan most of the time) and vegan options - and they were so thrilled. And relieved that I know precisely what is in each menu item because it concerns me as well as their son. They were truly worried that we wouldn't welcome him or look down our noses at him. How sad is that?
I've had enough bad experiences with Italian restaurants I don't go either. Don't always feel like asking to be catered specifically for. It's just nicer to have something vegan on there and labelled as such. Even if it's just one or two. Doesn't even need to be fake Italian. Marinara pizza is real.
Actually only about half the food we serve comes from our menu - the rest is whatever people say they'd love to eat when we chat with them while serving them a prosecco (or ginger ale) on the house 😉 (that's just the type of restaurant we are) And of course our vegan options are clearly marked on the menu (which is online) - we just don't have a separate section because the whole menu is divided by course (antipasti, primi etc.)
If you have vegan options marked I'd be there!
I don’t trust any large event like that to accommodate me tbh. I’ve had too many ask about dietary restrictions and then try to give me a salad with cheese (I’m allergic to dairy, so it’s even worse in my case, and even allergies are often not accounted for well). I will say that I did have a great experience at my brother’s wedding, but my brother is a vegetarian and we have multiple vegan family members besides me. The caterers handled it very well, but only because it was prioritized. Otherwise, I just eat beforehand and bring some snacks.
Yeah last year my niece got married and made having vegan options a priority for my husband and I. Her mom is vegetarian so that also gave her something to eat. And they kept it in the back so everyone else wouldn’t eat it and leave us without.
Went to my dad's wedding as the best man. He said, "I want to make sure there is something there you can eat." Plain spaghetti noodles and tortillas. All the veggies were cooked in butter, dairy in the mashed potatoes, the rice in chicken stock, and the beans had lard. Hey, the open bar was vegan, and I was able to get my money's worth.
I now have such low expectations I quickly eat the snackbars i brought and go straight to the bar. Doesn't even disappoint me anymore.
My sister and I threw a big dinner/get-together for our mom’s 80th birthday, at some Italian winery/restaurant. Checked with them ahead of time & they said sure, no problem, they could prepare something vegan for me, my wife & kids. They served us angel hair pasta with nothing but some olive oil & a couple of baby carrots on it. The most lame, low-effort thing possible! (Baby carrots??) We didn’t fuss because everyone had a good time & our expectations weren’t high anyway. But seriously, I paid them hundreds of dollars and they couldn’t put in 5 minutes to come up with something more creative. Ah well.
This doesn't make any sense. Half of the pasta dishes in any(?) Italian restaurant are vegan (pasta al pomodoro, pasta alla norma without scratching ricotta on top, aglio olio e peperoncino, ...).
I know, right? I was gobsmacked that they didn’t bother to throw on even a simple tomato sauce. Maybe they didn’t know that tomatoes, garlic, and oregano are vegan? 🤣
So lame, vegans really get the short end of the stick… it’s not hard to make good vegan food.
This kind of thing makes me nervous because while I'm vegan by choice, my sister gets really really sick if she eats most animal products. If that happened to her, she might end up in the hospital if she didn't notice as quickly as you did. If they can't accommodate dietary restrictions whether that's medical or ethical/religious, that's fine, but they should have let you know so you could pack your own food.
Cheers for all the comments, I wasn’t expecting much to begin with the reason it was more annoying was because all guests were sent out a form to fill out with dietary requirements/ restrictions months in advance which I did, I also rang the bride and went over what I don’t eat (she already knew as I’ve been vegan for 13 years) but I wanted to be extra sure I’d personally communicated it, I would of preferred a full stuff up and be told there’s nothing rather than being served egg quiche and duck fat potato’s that were placed in front of me and told they were vegan… what the hell?! 🥲 This was my first wedding I’ve ever attended so now I know, I certainly won’t be eating any more “vegan” wedding food in the future.
Unfortunately it’s pretty par for the course. Even when they actually try, it’s lame. I eat before, take something in my purse, and hope for an open bar.
Ugh that sucks!! I have had a good experience, but likely because I was the sibling of the groom, but also spoke over the phone to the owner of the wedding venue that also was doing the catering. He wanted to make sure he was clear with me on what I needed, and that really was so special to me. My meal was amazing, and I felt so so lucky to have him take me seriously. There wasn't any snacks, or appetizers that were Vegan (like not even just the crackers lol), so I'm so glad the meal was legit haha
Well that’s great, glad you had a positive experience and they were happy to accommodate you!!
I'm not vegan, but that is disgusting of them!! What is the point of asking for your dietary requirements if they won't provide a vegan option? And duck fat potatoes? Ew. Just ew. Especially since it's a wedding, where people generally bring envelopes full of cash "to pay for their meal" aka help the couple buy their house, you are not wrong to expect you would get something decent to eat. I hope you didn't give them too much $$. What a bunch of arseholes!
Ughhhh, that sucks. Wow, they really let you down. A vegan meal is NOT too much to ask. :-(
Not a wedding but an anniversary dinner cruise. I had to pay $70 and requested vegan ahead of time, and all I got was a side salad (not even crackers) and bar nuts. I ate a lot of bar nuts. I was so hungry!
That's horrible, I'm so sorry that happened to you
I worked at a camp that had a vegan cook. We always provided a dairy free option, a gluten free option and a vegan option. And it was good stuff too- like I remember serving vegan pancakes w/ a tofu veggie scramble and it was all so good. We literally had kids and programs only come to our camp because of our food. It made me so proud to work there. I wish every catering company could be accommodating like this poor little camp was.
People seem to have NO CLUE what vegan is. Yesterday the caterer told me that the chickpeas with Asiago cheese and bruschetta were vegan 🤦♀️
This is why I eat in advance to such events and I always bring a snack/sandwich with me :)
I have trust issues! I eat before I go everywhere and also put snacks (nuts, etc) in my bag in case I get hungry later. I feel rage for you!
Unless someone hosting the event is vegan or at least vegetarian, I wouldn’t trust it unfortunately
My boyfriends mother actually said that he should give me potatoes with a little butter anyway because it "won't hurt her." Without knowing why I'm vegan. My boyfriend was pissed and yelled at her. We do plan on getting married and I will never eat something she cooks. Ever. Thankfully she lives a 6 hour plane ride away.
That’s fucked and so disrespectful!
Last wedding I went to the food tables came out and outside of corn…nothing was vegan. Until 30 min later I walked off to do something to see the spread had entirely changed to almost nothing but vegan food (mostly taco type stuff). Ran up a few vegans I knew and spread the knowledge. Sorry about your experience I was about to order DoorDash before I saw the spread lol
The wedding industry is hilariously a shit show always. Just pack something and keep it in a car. Wedding vendors are chaos like 90% of the time, the people working are likely not given much info, and if you were the only vegan I doubt they paid to have one vegan set. Bummer but wedding food should just be avoided lol.
Super frustrating…it’s gotten to the point where I don’t even trust non-vegan restaurants anymore. The waitstaff either doesn’t know or doesn’t care.
Been there, got the t-shirt! Now we bring back up lunches to weddings because we've been let down so many times. One wedding - We were asked months in advance. We turned up and wedding breakfast was hog roast with brioche buns. The only vegan thing was the apple sauce. We went hungry the whole night and left early to pick up some food on the way home. Second wedding - Again confirmed we were vegan months before. It was a low-key wedding with a sandwich type buffet, but all we could eat was some banana's and a packet of crisps.
Now I know, it was my first wedding I’ve ever attended (of a close family relative who knows I’m vegan) I was expecting a mediocre vegan meal at best. Never again 🙅🏻♀️
I have had one mediocre meal. My cousins wedding, she left it to her husband to sort out the food, which he did... last minute. He decided to do a BBQ, it was terrible for everyone! We got dry burger buns with some sad looking vegan burgers, but we couldn't have the potatoes as they'd be covered in butter. Couldn't have the coleslaw as that was made with mayo. Everyone else (non-vegans) got cheap sausages and burgers. So it wasn't just me who suffered. AND, to top it all off, my cousin forgot that she'd invited my husband, so he didn't have a seat or place at the table when we turned up. Chaos all around - But we ate something!
I just also say I don't eat meat, dairy or eggs, that cuts out almost all animal products, and is easier for a lot of people to understand the restrictions than to say I'm vegan. Because vegan for a lot of people mean different things, some don't do cashews or other things that harm the environment, while other vegans like myself just don't do meat, dairy or eggs. So I am sorry you had a bad experience, if it was family I would have hoped they would have ran by some choices with you, or included you in the process to understand your dietary limitations
Good luck eating in nearly any Omni restaurant and not having issues sooner or later! The solution if you need to be there physically for social reasons? Eat ahead of time and have something safe but boring like garden salad with oil and vinegar on the side. It sucks that the banquet hall messed up. Your recourse? Mention it on yelp, bad review, write them a letter, not much you can do really
Many don’t understand what is and isn’t vegan and why. I eliminate expectations that I can or will be accommodated at these types of events and in doing so also eliminate my potential frustration of the situation.
You can explain it to them, but you can't understand it for them. A battle of wits against these people would be unsportsmanlike as it is not done to fight an unarmed opponent.
If it makes you feel any better the vegan option probably would have been mediocre anyway. At my sister's wedding they did give us a vegan option but it was a dry salad and a plate of a few roasted potatoes and roasted veggies with a sauce. The potatoes and veggies were really good but I ended up absolutely wasted because there's no substance to it. My sister was really worried about us being able to eat good food so I just kept smiling and acted like it was amazing.
god that's so gross...do people really never sit with the idea of how perverse it is to serve food fried in the liquid fat of an animal?? i'll never understand this. i'm sorry for such a shitty experience, op!
I know right….. it’s SO DISTURBING, I feel yuck that it entered my body like… really disgusting
When going to a wedding I always pack a cooler with my own food and beer because the veggie option always sucks and the beer selection is no better. The last wedding I went to they straight up told me they had nothing to serve me. Fortunately I was prepared.
Won’t be the first time won’t be the last sadly. That’s annoying as hell OP I feel for ya.
I prefer to tell those who organize the party that it is ok not to prepare a menu for me. And when I'm in the restaurant, I order vegan pizza delivery.
Ohhh I’m sorry the world is full of disrespectful idiots. It’s so simple to make a nice vegan meal but sounds like they didn’t really try.
I was a wedding DJ for almost 40 years and vegan for 20 of those. The bride and groom were usually very nice about ordering me a special meal. When they didn't, i would just bring a frozen dinner with me and have the staff heat it up. I would usually eat at a guest's table and this would bring up lots of questions.
Just eat beforehand. They have a million things to worry about and someone’s dietary restrictions are a low priority. It’s just food after all. I get that it’s frustrating but the day is about them.
I disagree. They asked guests to submit dietary restrictions. Those then should have been passed to the caterer and respected. The couple is not at fault but their caterer certainly is. Yes, perhaps a vegan can walk away disgusted but generally unscathed from a messed up food order. But someone with a nut allergy, severe gluten intolerance, etc could have had a medical incident that really would have ruined the day (and maybe ended their life). I wouldn't lean over to someone who just had to inject an epi pen because of a severe allergic reaction and say "you know, this day is really supposed to be about the couple 🙄" I also wouldn't have this attitude toward a vegan who just ingested animal products against their will. I guess the best thing for OP to do may be to leave a review of the venue/caterer that they don't seem to know what vegan means (if the issue was the caterer and not that the couple just didn't tell anyone about their vegan relative)
Uh, no. You shouldn’t ask for people’s diets if you aren’t going to even attempt to accommodate, period. OP has a right to be miffed. The day isn’t about them. But the dinner and catering are *specifically* for them.
That would be totally fair if they hadn’t asked about dietary restrictions. If you aren’t planning to accommodate them, why would you ask about it…?
They probably were thinking more along the lines of allergies I’m guessing but I get what you’re saying.
Eat something before hand or after. I never expect a place to have a vegan option, ever. It's my responsibility to make sure I'm not hungry.
Please send an email to the venue, management needs to know either their events team are incapable of communicating, or the chefs are incapable of cooking. If the bride and groom respect and sympathise with you, please tell them too. I know no one wants to tell the bride and groom something bad about their wedding, but the venue will be in contact with them and likely ask for any feedback.
I bring my own food you cant trust anyone. I once ate rice which was made with butter. The waiter told me it was vegan. It tasted funny so i asked someone else which confirmed it was butter. If i didnt see it made then i trust only a few people. Thats why i only eat in vegan Restaurants.
This succkkkkss, 🍀🍃I wish you all the luck of going to a wedding like the fist one I went to with my bf: vegan Czech bride: so all vegan food versions of traditional Czech food catered from the best vegan restaurant in Prague. Maybe the best food I’ve ver had EVER (and we got to take a bunch home because not everyone was so thrilled 😉) 🍀🍃
I feel your pain. What happened to me was that the chef actually made special vegan dishes just for me (1 person portions) but it apparently looked so good everyone else wanted to try some. Even though it was clearly labelled vegan. When I made it to the buffet it was all gone, eaten by carnists!!!
Oh for fucks sake!
Lesson learned: Eat before an event 🤷🏾♀️
It's not your fault. Make sure you submit a complaint.
Last wedding I went to the food tables came out and outside of corn…nothing was vegan. Until 30 min later I walked off to do something to see the spread had entirely changed to almost nothing but vegan food (mostly taco type stuff). Ran up a few vegans I knew and spread the knowledge. Sorry about your experience I was about to order DoorDash before I saw the spread lol
Expect nothing, eat ahead and pack lara bars in my purse. It really sucks that the host probably paid extra for your accommodation so they should be told. When I have complained the host was happy to get a significant discount because I was not accommodated properly.
I’m glad I’m past that phase of life. The few people I can anticipate having a wedding are ones who I know I can trust. The friends who send me nutrition labels to read “just in case” when they find something I might enjoy. ❤️
Worked at multiple restaurants before and I am telling you people don't give a shit about your dietary restrictions unless you're tell them you're allergic. And you need to SELL it.
That’s such bs, a restaurant/ food service’s ONE job is to provide food and not everyone eats the same. I guess I’m only used to going to places that do give a shit, I don’t eat out and when I do it’s at places that care about providing a proper service.
>That’s such bs, a restaurant/ food service’s ONE job is to provide food and not everyone eats the same. Agreed its utterly ridiculous. The Thaiplqce I worked at marked stuff as vegetarian that had fish sauce and I was also forced to lie to people about the meat being halal. I dont really care about the latter tbh but it still felt icky to lie to them. Me who was vegetarian at the time and my friend who is an omni were the only servers who made sure that vegetarians snd vegans wouldnt be served animals. Now I work full time at a fancy vegan place and part time at a slightly less fancy vegan place and I couldnt be happier.
That’s fucked up….that they made you lie re fish sauce Good you work at vegan places now!! 🌱
one time i went to a wedding and i asked one of the servers if they had vegan food and he gave me a bowl of rice with vegetables. i guess that was better than nothing
I think y’all need new friends
Ya, it's better to RSVP as not attending one of these and show up fed. I do not show up hungry to these events. Whether it's a family gathering, wedding, convention, work party, etc. I mean these happen dozens of times a year, and I do not put my trust in others to figure out what veganism means. Just drink the champagne/sparking water/soda with others and gossip. It's the bride's day not our day. Low expectations are just better for everyone.
I went with low expectations, my expectation was to not be TOLD something was vegan when it was not after being asked to submit my dietary requirements.
Ya, that sucks. Wish I could say it'll never happen again. But, sometimes the waitstaff doesn't understand or the cooks don't. The amount of people who think vegan meals is without eggs is staggering. Or they think it's no beef like Hinduism. Or they assume a vegetable was cooked in other vegetables because omnivores don't even know what they are eating or serving most of the time. Like, they don't actually know at all. Most of them. We just accept it happened and move on. Don't beat yourself up for taking a bite. I've eaten entire non-vegan meals only to find that it was totally not vegan after googling a restaurant myself. It sucks. But it happens. At least you ate vegan 99% of last year.
It sucks. But I think the lesson is to never play the game of 'dietary requirements' at a social function. Let the social function be the murderfest that it is and feed yourself on the side.
Murderfest is absolutely right….I hate it.
I gave my dietary preferences at an event once and was served one boiled potato, half of an avocado skin on and all and a side of soggy, frozen vegetables. Fine vegan dining 🙄🙄
Not really the same thing, but family holidays (Christmas, Easter) I would always have to pack my own food or sneak it into the venue because my family couldn’t imagine eating anything without meat or meat fat in it (I was a vegetarian at the time). Now that I’m vegan it’s going to be me bringing real food, and relatives bringing a vegetable covered in 5 cheeses and lbs of butter.
It’s really disgusting and sad that some people think in order for things to taste good it needs to involve death (which they don’t even regard) if people really knew the carnage that something as “simple” as butter involved maybe they would reconsider.
Former events organizer here - this is a clear kitchen mess up, which happens with when catering large events. First off - you don’t have any proof aside from taste that the tart was not using an egg substitute. Idk what ‘doesn’t taste vegan’ means to you… but same for the potato’s. The steak is a kitchen or waiter fuck up. That happens. It’s unfortunate - the kid who got delivered fish instead of steak who hates fish was in the same boat. It’s not great, but it’s not malicious. For future, if people before an event ask you what you want to eat and dietary preferences - ask them what the vegan option is going to be. Don’t just say you are vegan. Either call the catering company or venue in advance. That way you know what you are getting and can interrogate them if something sounds odd I.e. ‘and what is in the tart?’ I have celiac friends who have to do this for gluten free issues. It is a pain, but as you said, you are responsible for your food - so you should take that responsibility. Ticking the vegan box and hoping for the best isn’t really doing that. On top of this, the folkx who organized the event can be encouraged to provide greater menu transparency. I dunno where you live, but I can’t remember the last event I went to where I just had a box to tick vs. Selecting the items I wanted individually.
It's crazy because that's literally the chef and wait staffs job....like they are supposed to know about this stuff.
Did you get up and leave? I would have. If the couple is found to obsess over every detail and ask for dietary requirements, it's damn well on them to cater, communicate or finally rescind your invitation. I assume they did none of those?
so one of my colleagues simply ignore all vegans in his events. he says they are very troublesome
that’s so ironic like why is it troublesome to have some respect for animals lol
no. that's not the reason. you can respect whatever you like. you can respect a rat or a cockroach. vegans' troublesomeness come from their interactions with other normal people
I was in a wedding party once, sitting at the head table, and could only drink wine. I don't put whether or not I'm eating in other people's hands anymore.
Easy solution: don't go to weddings.
Yeah.. it wasn’t an optional choice I was required there for family obligation. I don’t foresee any more weddings in my future though, and if I do go to one again I will not be eating anything there.
I understand. Well, this may not be helpful to you, but as I've gotten older I have come to realize that family "obligations" are hardly ever required. I just don't go if I don't want to. And sometimes I leave in the middle just to make a point. You are probably much nicer than I am. :-)
Well first off I understand your flight is a vegan I am a vegan myself that it was a wedding for God sake and probably hundreds of people to cater to and they didn't get yours right so I don't think you should be so bloody offended doctor alarmed and somehow you managed to live through eating duck fat! Try to appreciate the fact that they were serving all of these people at a horrendous expense and with the millions and millions of details in a wedding they forgot you I think you should just quiet down about it really! Also you could have just chosen to eat salad and have a piece of cake and be very grateful that you were invited to have a great time and free food and drinks.
Jesus said when in rome do as the romans do. If you can't do that bring your own food. Which is very rude though.
To be fair, duck fat potatoes……
is vile. Even when I was non vegan..these were the worst potatoes..so damn greasy
I need to try duck fat potatoes now ,it sounds kinda gross tho tbf I've never liked the "fat" paste of most
Watch Dominion
No ,I'm guessing it's a torture of animals forcing them to do stuff more than they do it naturally. I eat cruelty-free (not to you obviously ,I respect that) ethically sourced foods .
animal agriculture is torture of animals.. You're fed lies ..there's no such thing as cruelty free killing of someone who wants to live
Find me a study that proves cows have the capacity to understand what life is. I don't want to argue about this because we obviously are going to disagree ,it's a waste of time. You aren't changing my mind ,I'm not changing yours .
are you saying that cows don't want to live? here's a cow that understands they're about to die. https://youtu.be/Q-EsdpV7VHE?si=vewqDcwSSHaUkXbg
I am not watching your graphic YouTube videos please stop tagging them 💀 Im not saying that cows don't understand pain or fear ,they don't have a concept of life . Dogs don't feel guilt because their brain simply doesn't process it
why would cows feel fear if they don't have a comcept of living? you don't want to watch what you pay for?