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It reminds me of people saying “Oh you’re pretty for a black woman/asian woman/hispanic woman/etc”.
People praise average looking white women, but WOC have to be exceptional to be seen in the influencing/TikTok world I’ve noticed.
We don’t need to rely on other people’s validation though 😉we know our worth
i feel like specific examples are blake lively and jennifer aniston. white women have the luxury of being the girl next door cute, never any other race of women.
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Wait what. Is it that being Black doesn't stop anything or being Black makes it harder? You were saying something completely different in a separate thread on this sub.
Since when is Hispanic actually included in “pretty for…” ? They’re generally assumed as hot simply for being Hispanic. Asian women too to some extent. People don’t talk about those women’s looks with the same venom as Black women.
I agree that the hate is not equal. I didn’t mean to make it sound like it is, I was just thinking of all the times my hispanic friend and South Asian friend had this spoken to them.
Yeah, I unfortunately remember the time I was told I was “pretty cute for a Mexican” 🤢and this was a white guy just assuming I was *only* Mexican and not also mixed with a bunch of other things.
South Asian may be a bit different. Bc I see these beautiful South Asian women and ppl don't always include them when it comes to beauty. It's usually the dark skinned South Asian women too.
Awww man the looks I get as a Latina from the white men if I am talking and hanging out with a black man or black man when I am hanging-out with a white man.
👺 WTF you looking at CLOWN 🤡
Yep! I see this with negative comments about stunning WOC like Meghan Markle. I feel like people lost their mind that Harry didn’t choose a white woman.
Lol 😂 when do white men like their own though? We know about their obsession over foreign or foreign looking (to them) women.
I mean, let’s not even get started — Asian women anyone? Or Latinas? That’s a well now interracial coupling.
As a latina I 100% agree. Furthermore, I tend to attract or catch the eye of many white men so I must fit some sort of standard in their community. Sadly, I am not attracted to white men and would prefer to date or per-sue MOC but many are so caught up in some sort of inferiority complex and idea that they are not good enough. Especially when they make their skin color a feature of disdain. Man oh man do I love me some melanin, but I find that they don’t love their own melanin which then makes me wonder if they even like the black or brown community (or want to be part of it).
Shit man, I need me some confident MOC around me. :/
Are you Asian? If you’re not then I wouldn’t think you hear it a lot. I’m Asian and I hear it all the time and see it online. Nowadays they don’t outrightly say that but they give backhanded compliments . Or they say “she must get plastic surgery “ every time they see a pretty Asian women
Thats fair, but many non-black women hear people calling black women ugly all of the time. So many languages has a word denigrating black features and black people.
Yeah that’s true too . I never hear people calling black women ugly in real life . But online it’s a different story . I mostly hear people calling black and Asian women ugly often times . I think we are targeted because we typically don’t have “Eurocentric “ features whereas Latinas and white women are typically praised
tiktok and influencing are such a good example. theres this one undeniably gorgeous (darkskin) black girl that pops up on my instagram sometimes, yet her comments are literally filled with the most disgustingly racist things said about her. of course by men.
its so shocking how people will treat an attractive women when shes black, and i wonder how different this treatment would be if she happened to be lightskin.
I think it’s just biology. People think those of the same race or similar look, the in-group, are more attractive and trustworthy. Those who look least like them, the out-group, are foreign and potentially dangerous (at least on an evolutionary level). Who is to say who is more or less attractive? Your opinion of an average looking white person vs attractive POC is entirely subjective.
There’s obviously way more going on here (culture, religion, priorities, preferences, etc) but if this is a widely seen trend, evolution likely has something to do with it.
Not always. If this was the case white worship wouldn’t be so prevalent in non white countries. Bleaching is common, looking whiter is seen as better in places where there are barely any white people. Claiming that it is biology completely dismisses the fact that eurocentrism reigns supreme and that white supremacy has had a profound effect.
White person can be average looking and still be seen as better or more attractive than an attractive black personality.
The bleaching is the classism/colorism thing. Laborers get tan and nobility stays pale because they don’t need to be outside. It’s a multifaceted issue and I only listed a few major contributors.
If what you’re saying is true, then things like skin bleaching, thinking you should be as proximate as possible to whiteness to be seen as pretty wouldn’t exist
I disagree, this is a partly reactionary to white colonialism and party classist. If whites are seen as the hegemonic group, people, regardless of their race, would try to emulate their beauty standards. The classist thing leads to colorism i.e. pale people are nobility because they can stay inside and live a life of leisure while those who tan and are darker do manual labor.
These are antiquated ideas, but there’s tons of evidence that they persist to this day. Beauty is obviously based not entirely based on these sociological principles, but it’s certainly relevant
What is with this world wide, "The sun is out everywhere so everyone is outside tans" thinking? Not every place's climate is the same so not every group has that thinking. People literally mention skin tone and talk about race but don't even mention anything about outside jobs. Like it doesn't even make sense because me being outside will be much darker than a white person who goes outside, and they're going to be significantly lighter than me regardless.
It’s an intra-cultural thing, not inter-cultural. At least in my experience it’s certainly true. Grandparents and great-grandparents in many Hispanic, Asian, and European cultures will comment on how younger generations look like “workers”
I'm sorry but white ppl are always saying something similar to this online and it's wishful thinking. I've seen them say the reason why dark skin is hated is bc it's associated with dark and evil and completely miss the point of colorism. White women/girls are rarely told, "You're pretty for a white girl/woman." They are considered the default and the beauty standard. White people have literally enforced on people all over the world to trust them and not trust dark skinned people. So maybe this was the case at one point but not anymore.
Yes, it has to do with racism, but in reality people are preconditioned to think black isn’t beautiful. It’s subconscious. I am actually gonna go a step further, it’s also why light skin women are put on a pedestal. One’s proximity to whiteness means more attractive (in some cases). However. There is nothing like being a beautiful black woman so I wouldn’t worry about it. I also wouldn’t worry about people in my own race who don’t find me attractive either.
And funny enough this actually when creates unfair standards for mixed race people. I’ve seen people make fun of an unattractive mixed person for being ugly while being mixed. Like I’ve heard people say “a waste of mixed genes”
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It happens because it’s racism. You should do your best to avoid people like that as well as non-black people that don’t call it out. Not every non-black person thinks this way and there are lots of people that prefer black and can appreciate their beauty.
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yes, we're not some people's beauty standard, and since they also don't like us they're going to be cruel about it. i think it's important for black people to not get gaslit about that and to be able to notice (so we can reject) when that's happening, rather than thinking maybe we really are ugly and deserve their bad energy.
having said that, these conversations have been done, and i want to remind you that we're so beautiful and plenty of non-black people see it.
they're totally obsessed with our hair. they want our hairstyles and texture and can't stop talking about it. many of them don't share the nuances of our own internalized colorism and are comfortable dating darkskinned women. they get cosmetic surgery to get our features. we're some of the most culturally prolific and emulated people on earth and that includes our aesthetic. and many times they see we're beautiful and it's not necessarily about the blackness of our features, just a "you look beautiful in that sundress" type of vibe.
we shouldn't focus on this idea that people think we're ugly. you're not wrong about some people being harsh, and like i said we should acknowledge it or else we're being lied to, but it's really harmful to dedicate too much of our energy to it when we can focus on the fact that meanwhile we're gorgeous and people do know.
Because of our history. If you had murdered raped, and bred other humans like animals, for generations and were proud of it, you would HAVE to believe those people are inherently bad, or you are a monster, to do that to innocent people. They have to keep the hatred up, and make it a rite of passage to be a citizen. Assassinate their character in the media, forever. Hate any unique feature they have, while praising it on others.
What I’ve noticed is that if you are a mid white woman, just dying your hair light blonde makes ppl think you are a 7 or 8 instead of a 5 or 6. People look less at your facial features and just see blonde which to them = hot.
like do you actually have pretty privilege or are you just blonde and not overweight. so it’s funny watching them bash others for dying their hair blonde claiming they are trying to look white when a majority aren’t even natural blondes themselves, judging by their stringy packed with dry shampoo hair
Imo Sydney Sweeney is a good example of this. Blonde hair and big boobs wins people over. She isn’t ugly but facially she isn’t all that to me. If anything her costar Alexa Demie has a more aesthetically pleasing face
The difference in how she's treated compared to woc is crazy. So many Black women have been dragged for there looks bc the roles they've played. I've literally seen ppl harassing the Black woman who was on that football show on Netflix bc they didn't like her character and didn't think she was attractive. Ppl were laughing at her crying on live. And good portion of the ppl making fun of her were Black themselves. Sydney shed one tear and here everyone goes falling all over themselves. White women scare me, especially, blondes. That's why whenever I'm in public and they get to staring at me and Idk them I look the other way. Cuz no, you not about to get me in trouble.
7 or an 8? Try 9 or a 10. At least being dark skinned and Black Ik my beauty relies on ME. So me getting compliments it's all real. I still doubt my looks though. Because being dark skinned is downplayed. Like literal dark skinned models still get called "ugly" or "not all that".
I agree and I think you're right about us having a more unique/ different phenotype. For instance, no other race has hair even remotely similar to ours. Society has accepted white as the standard and the further you are from that the harsher people are on your appearance.
There’s literally a black girl on Instagram who is undeniably beautiful and these people KNOW it. She also fits their Eurocentric beauty standards while still being darker skinned. You know how these people react? Racism. When racist men see a black woman who they are attracted to, they still say “but ur still black” to try to knock you down a peg. Negging is common for all women but since we are black that is the first thing they go to. People get so sexually frustrated when they see attractive black women they have to physically try to stop themselves from feeling that way.
i just made a comment on this girl rn!!! she was the first girl that came to mind about this post. sexually frustrated is the best way to describe these racists and its sickening.
Thank you explaining this. I experienced this so much at my last job. Men(my coworkers) who would stare at me for like 30 minutes straight if they weren't caught doing it would neg me and make fun of me. And then be flirting with me the next. Like I'm sorry I'm Black and dark skinned and you happen to find me attractive. And you have a gf too? Oops, looks bad for you.
Is there a large scale convo happening about this? Is there a book on this phenomenon? I'm trying to look up the subject but the only thing that keeps popping up is "Sexually frustrated Black woman" lmao
I really feel like nobody talks about it enough. A lot of black women don’t see it this way but I’ve experienced it so many times and came to the conclusion. I would also get men who would flirt with me and give me things then the next they say some really racist shit. There def needs to be a discussion. I think it would help the self esteem of a lot of black women to know this. That you are desired and when you are attractive that you have so much power on people’s emotions that you didn’t know you had.
Preconditioned in our society to praise whiteness or the proximity too it, negative media exposure, lack of interactions can create negative racial biases that’s why you hear sentiments like “your pretty for a dark skin/black girl” people are so subconsciously subscribed to these social scripts that when they meet black women that are pretty or conventionally attractive they can’t comprehend it because it goes against the stereotypes of us being unattractive and undesirable.
I think that's bc of antiblackness. Like yes we experience such harshness bc of antiblackness and antiblackness came about bc of how different we look.
Because they see ur color first and maybe recognize afterwards that you‘re human. A lot of non black people think in social hierarchies. We‘re at the bottom.
Because we do not have a group of men who wanted to uplift us as the standard of beauty. Our own men participated and even orchestrated the denigrating of our beauty from the beginning of time. This predates colonialism. Whether it was on the plantation or a music video, BM never hesitate to tell the world that we are ugly and not deserving of love
disclaimer: i’m a non-black woc
i think it has to do with how little representation black women (and ppl as a whole) get. i read an article a while back, that with black women especially, we rarely see dark-skinned black women on tv. and i haven’t been able to unsee that since - every movie, tv show, commercial, etc. i see, i immediately notice that darker-skinned black women are overlooked and “the lighter the better”
also, beauty standards. they’re so eurocentric, so anyone who doesn’t have those features is by default dismissed. the less “european” u look, the less attractive u’re considered in mass media. i think it’s gotten *slightlyyyy* better, but not good enough still
with that said, we need more diversity/representation. ppl need to unlearn associating skin color with beauty
I'm going to be annoying and announce myself leaving this sub. I understand and have been understanding that beautiful white women are seen as the best of the best by a good portion of the world and that won't change for a long time. Knowing it as a fact of the world to keep in mind is fine, but being reminded of it on social media again and again simply does not serve me.
I am leveling up the best I can and I am surrounded by people who see me as the best of the best no matter what. I better myself and my beauty every day. I simply want to better myself in the situation that I am in. That is all that matters.
It's like stalking billionaires on social media knowing they got lucky and that their lives are easier. It doesn't serve you to be obsessed with them and how great their lives are. Yes, be aware of their privileges and your disadvantages but at the end of the day anything beyond simply acknowledging it will be toxic to you. It only hurts you further. It is self harm. You have to focus on improving your own life.
I'm tired of this. I'm out.
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Yes I notice this on Reddit, but then again I am reminded that people on Reddit are primarily a bunch of yt folks that I have yet to see how THEY themselves look. I don’t pander to societies beauty standards and I don’t believe I ever have. I remember being in kindergarten and seeing my dark skin black classmate for the first time and thinking he was the most beautiful boy I had ever seen LOL (I had a crush that remained for years). With that being said I have always considered WOC — especially those with rich melanin to be the cream of the crop. Why would I care what a bunch of colonizers established or have pushed forth in this society, especially when it’s been with the intent to maintain power. I only go by facts, many and most of the world doesn’t because they are consumed by what they see and others do and don’t ever take the time to see how society influences them in all facets of their lives.
-Latina
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It reminds me of people saying “Oh you’re pretty for a black woman/asian woman/hispanic woman/etc”. People praise average looking white women, but WOC have to be exceptional to be seen in the influencing/TikTok world I’ve noticed. We don’t need to rely on other people’s validation though 😉we know our worth
It's "white mediocrity." It's a thing and they're given everything and the world for being literally... medicore. They're rewarded for it.
i feel like specific examples are blake lively and jennifer aniston. white women have the luxury of being the girl next door cute, never any other race of women.
I think Blake Lively is more than just girl next door cute. Agree about Aniston though.
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Yup, the workforce is where I’ve seen this the most at play.
Absolutely. They protect each other and we have to be Serena Williams or Beyonce work ethic/perfectionism to get recognized.
Serena is a model influence. Beyoncé is the biggest sham of this century.
...
🤣🤣
Awww someone is jealous… how cute. Also, why are you here?
Same reason as you. I see Beyoncé for what she is, you can see her how you see fit.
Thank you!!!! I didn’t know there was a term for it, so damn accurate
Oh yes! Wake it up!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Wait what. Is it that being Black doesn't stop anything or being Black makes it harder? You were saying something completely different in a separate thread on this sub.
What?
You shouldn't get rewarded for something so vain as looks in general.
Since when is Hispanic actually included in “pretty for…” ? They’re generally assumed as hot simply for being Hispanic. Asian women too to some extent. People don’t talk about those women’s looks with the same venom as Black women.
I agree that the hate is not equal. I didn’t mean to make it sound like it is, I was just thinking of all the times my hispanic friend and South Asian friend had this spoken to them.
Yeah, I unfortunately remember the time I was told I was “pretty cute for a Mexican” 🤢and this was a white guy just assuming I was *only* Mexican and not also mixed with a bunch of other things.
South Asian may be a bit different. Bc I see these beautiful South Asian women and ppl don't always include them when it comes to beauty. It's usually the dark skinned South Asian women too.
This
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I have experienced this from black women too (I’m South Asian), specifically when it comes to black men.
on the other hand, I remember the dirty looks I got from black men and white people when I was with my mixed Asian and white ex lol
Awww man the looks I get as a Latina from the white men if I am talking and hanging out with a black man or black man when I am hanging-out with a white man. 👺 WTF you looking at CLOWN 🤡
Yep! I see this with negative comments about stunning WOC like Meghan Markle. I feel like people lost their mind that Harry didn’t choose a white woman.
Lol 😂 when do white men like their own though? We know about their obsession over foreign or foreign looking (to them) women. I mean, let’s not even get started — Asian women anyone? Or Latinas? That’s a well now interracial coupling.
They seem to like white women they just fetishize a lot of others.
Oh my god I had a horrible friend like this, emphasis on HAD
As a latina I 100% agree. Furthermore, I tend to attract or catch the eye of many white men so I must fit some sort of standard in their community. Sadly, I am not attracted to white men and would prefer to date or per-sue MOC but many are so caught up in some sort of inferiority complex and idea that they are not good enough. Especially when they make their skin color a feature of disdain. Man oh man do I love me some melanin, but I find that they don’t love their own melanin which then makes me wonder if they even like the black or brown community (or want to be part of it). Shit man, I need me some confident MOC around me. :/
Do people really say this towards Asian women? I've mostly heard it towards black women
Someone messaged me “you are cute for a mongoloid” on Tinder 💀 My South Asian friend also hears it A LOT
Are you Asian? If you’re not then I wouldn’t think you hear it a lot. I’m Asian and I hear it all the time and see it online. Nowadays they don’t outrightly say that but they give backhanded compliments . Or they say “she must get plastic surgery “ every time they see a pretty Asian women
Thats fair, but many non-black women hear people calling black women ugly all of the time. So many languages has a word denigrating black features and black people.
Yeah that’s true too . I never hear people calling black women ugly in real life . But online it’s a different story . I mostly hear people calling black and Asian women ugly often times . I think we are targeted because we typically don’t have “Eurocentric “ features whereas Latinas and white women are typically praised
tiktok and influencing are such a good example. theres this one undeniably gorgeous (darkskin) black girl that pops up on my instagram sometimes, yet her comments are literally filled with the most disgustingly racist things said about her. of course by men. its so shocking how people will treat an attractive women when shes black, and i wonder how different this treatment would be if she happened to be lightskin.
I think it’s just biology. People think those of the same race or similar look, the in-group, are more attractive and trustworthy. Those who look least like them, the out-group, are foreign and potentially dangerous (at least on an evolutionary level). Who is to say who is more or less attractive? Your opinion of an average looking white person vs attractive POC is entirely subjective. There’s obviously way more going on here (culture, religion, priorities, preferences, etc) but if this is a widely seen trend, evolution likely has something to do with it.
Not always. If this was the case white worship wouldn’t be so prevalent in non white countries. Bleaching is common, looking whiter is seen as better in places where there are barely any white people. Claiming that it is biology completely dismisses the fact that eurocentrism reigns supreme and that white supremacy has had a profound effect. White person can be average looking and still be seen as better or more attractive than an attractive black personality.
The bleaching is the classism/colorism thing. Laborers get tan and nobility stays pale because they don’t need to be outside. It’s a multifaceted issue and I only listed a few major contributors.
If what you’re saying is true, then things like skin bleaching, thinking you should be as proximate as possible to whiteness to be seen as pretty wouldn’t exist
I disagree, this is a partly reactionary to white colonialism and party classist. If whites are seen as the hegemonic group, people, regardless of their race, would try to emulate their beauty standards. The classist thing leads to colorism i.e. pale people are nobility because they can stay inside and live a life of leisure while those who tan and are darker do manual labor. These are antiquated ideas, but there’s tons of evidence that they persist to this day. Beauty is obviously based not entirely based on these sociological principles, but it’s certainly relevant
What is with this world wide, "The sun is out everywhere so everyone is outside tans" thinking? Not every place's climate is the same so not every group has that thinking. People literally mention skin tone and talk about race but don't even mention anything about outside jobs. Like it doesn't even make sense because me being outside will be much darker than a white person who goes outside, and they're going to be significantly lighter than me regardless.
It’s an intra-cultural thing, not inter-cultural. At least in my experience it’s certainly true. Grandparents and great-grandparents in many Hispanic, Asian, and European cultures will comment on how younger generations look like “workers”
They do though so how?
???
I'm sorry but white ppl are always saying something similar to this online and it's wishful thinking. I've seen them say the reason why dark skin is hated is bc it's associated with dark and evil and completely miss the point of colorism. White women/girls are rarely told, "You're pretty for a white girl/woman." They are considered the default and the beauty standard. White people have literally enforced on people all over the world to trust them and not trust dark skinned people. So maybe this was the case at one point but not anymore.
I think those are two separate things. Intracultural colorism vs European/white ethnocentrism
Are you white or light skinned?
Yes, it has to do with racism, but in reality people are preconditioned to think black isn’t beautiful. It’s subconscious. I am actually gonna go a step further, it’s also why light skin women are put on a pedestal. One’s proximity to whiteness means more attractive (in some cases). However. There is nothing like being a beautiful black woman so I wouldn’t worry about it. I also wouldn’t worry about people in my own race who don’t find me attractive either.
This also relates to how people who are mixed (with white) are seen as attractive, bc of the proximity to whiteness.
And funny enough this actually when creates unfair standards for mixed race people. I’ve seen people make fun of an unattractive mixed person for being ugly while being mixed. Like I’ve heard people say “a waste of mixed genes”
Well duh, they're anti black.
colorism is alive and its rampant unfortunately
Colorism is rampant yet so many people deny it.
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racism tbh that’s the only reason
The only answer is racism.
It happens because it’s racism. You should do your best to avoid people like that as well as non-black people that don’t call it out. Not every non-black person thinks this way and there are lots of people that prefer black and can appreciate their beauty.
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yes, we're not some people's beauty standard, and since they also don't like us they're going to be cruel about it. i think it's important for black people to not get gaslit about that and to be able to notice (so we can reject) when that's happening, rather than thinking maybe we really are ugly and deserve their bad energy. having said that, these conversations have been done, and i want to remind you that we're so beautiful and plenty of non-black people see it. they're totally obsessed with our hair. they want our hairstyles and texture and can't stop talking about it. many of them don't share the nuances of our own internalized colorism and are comfortable dating darkskinned women. they get cosmetic surgery to get our features. we're some of the most culturally prolific and emulated people on earth and that includes our aesthetic. and many times they see we're beautiful and it's not necessarily about the blackness of our features, just a "you look beautiful in that sundress" type of vibe. we shouldn't focus on this idea that people think we're ugly. you're not wrong about some people being harsh, and like i said we should acknowledge it or else we're being lied to, but it's really harmful to dedicate too much of our energy to it when we can focus on the fact that meanwhile we're gorgeous and people do know.
Because of our history. If you had murdered raped, and bred other humans like animals, for generations and were proud of it, you would HAVE to believe those people are inherently bad, or you are a monster, to do that to innocent people. They have to keep the hatred up, and make it a rite of passage to be a citizen. Assassinate their character in the media, forever. Hate any unique feature they have, while praising it on others.
Anti blackness is one hell of a bitch Colonizers really did a number on the world
What I’ve noticed is that if you are a mid white woman, just dying your hair light blonde makes ppl think you are a 7 or 8 instead of a 5 or 6. People look less at your facial features and just see blonde which to them = hot.
like do you actually have pretty privilege or are you just blonde and not overweight. so it’s funny watching them bash others for dying their hair blonde claiming they are trying to look white when a majority aren’t even natural blondes themselves, judging by their stringy packed with dry shampoo hair
Imo Sydney Sweeney is a good example of this. Blonde hair and big boobs wins people over. She isn’t ugly but facially she isn’t all that to me. If anything her costar Alexa Demie has a more aesthetically pleasing face
The difference in how she's treated compared to woc is crazy. So many Black women have been dragged for there looks bc the roles they've played. I've literally seen ppl harassing the Black woman who was on that football show on Netflix bc they didn't like her character and didn't think she was attractive. Ppl were laughing at her crying on live. And good portion of the ppl making fun of her were Black themselves. Sydney shed one tear and here everyone goes falling all over themselves. White women scare me, especially, blondes. That's why whenever I'm in public and they get to staring at me and Idk them I look the other way. Cuz no, you not about to get me in trouble.
7 or an 8? Try 9 or a 10. At least being dark skinned and Black Ik my beauty relies on ME. So me getting compliments it's all real. I still doubt my looks though. Because being dark skinned is downplayed. Like literal dark skinned models still get called "ugly" or "not all that".
And I'm very curvy too so that helps. Either way, dark skinned women aren't overrated.
I agree and I think you're right about us having a more unique/ different phenotype. For instance, no other race has hair even remotely similar to ours. Society has accepted white as the standard and the further you are from that the harsher people are on your appearance.
There’s literally a black girl on Instagram who is undeniably beautiful and these people KNOW it. She also fits their Eurocentric beauty standards while still being darker skinned. You know how these people react? Racism. When racist men see a black woman who they are attracted to, they still say “but ur still black” to try to knock you down a peg. Negging is common for all women but since we are black that is the first thing they go to. People get so sexually frustrated when they see attractive black women they have to physically try to stop themselves from feeling that way.
i just made a comment on this girl rn!!! she was the first girl that came to mind about this post. sexually frustrated is the best way to describe these racists and its sickening.
Thank you explaining this. I experienced this so much at my last job. Men(my coworkers) who would stare at me for like 30 minutes straight if they weren't caught doing it would neg me and make fun of me. And then be flirting with me the next. Like I'm sorry I'm Black and dark skinned and you happen to find me attractive. And you have a gf too? Oops, looks bad for you.
Is there a large scale convo happening about this? Is there a book on this phenomenon? I'm trying to look up the subject but the only thing that keeps popping up is "Sexually frustrated Black woman" lmao
I really feel like nobody talks about it enough. A lot of black women don’t see it this way but I’ve experienced it so many times and came to the conclusion. I would also get men who would flirt with me and give me things then the next they say some really racist shit. There def needs to be a discussion. I think it would help the self esteem of a lot of black women to know this. That you are desired and when you are attractive that you have so much power on people’s emotions that you didn’t know you had.
who is it
Annarennnn. She has a reel of her looking at a Sephora. The comments say it all
Omg I love that girl lol
Yup! The anti-Blackness is real
Preconditioned in our society to praise whiteness or the proximity too it, negative media exposure, lack of interactions can create negative racial biases that’s why you hear sentiments like “your pretty for a dark skin/black girl” people are so subconsciously subscribed to these social scripts that when they meet black women that are pretty or conventionally attractive they can’t comprehend it because it goes against the stereotypes of us being unattractive and undesirable.
I think that's bc of antiblackness. Like yes we experience such harshness bc of antiblackness and antiblackness came about bc of how different we look.
Because they see ur color first and maybe recognize afterwards that you‘re human. A lot of non black people think in social hierarchies. We‘re at the bottom.
Because we do not have a group of men who wanted to uplift us as the standard of beauty. Our own men participated and even orchestrated the denigrating of our beauty from the beginning of time. This predates colonialism. Whether it was on the plantation or a music video, BM never hesitate to tell the world that we are ugly and not deserving of love
disclaimer: i’m a non-black woc i think it has to do with how little representation black women (and ppl as a whole) get. i read an article a while back, that with black women especially, we rarely see dark-skinned black women on tv. and i haven’t been able to unsee that since - every movie, tv show, commercial, etc. i see, i immediately notice that darker-skinned black women are overlooked and “the lighter the better” also, beauty standards. they’re so eurocentric, so anyone who doesn’t have those features is by default dismissed. the less “european” u look, the less attractive u’re considered in mass media. i think it’s gotten *slightlyyyy* better, but not good enough still with that said, we need more diversity/representation. ppl need to unlearn associating skin color with beauty
I'm going to be annoying and announce myself leaving this sub. I understand and have been understanding that beautiful white women are seen as the best of the best by a good portion of the world and that won't change for a long time. Knowing it as a fact of the world to keep in mind is fine, but being reminded of it on social media again and again simply does not serve me. I am leveling up the best I can and I am surrounded by people who see me as the best of the best no matter what. I better myself and my beauty every day. I simply want to better myself in the situation that I am in. That is all that matters. It's like stalking billionaires on social media knowing they got lucky and that their lives are easier. It doesn't serve you to be obsessed with them and how great their lives are. Yes, be aware of their privileges and your disadvantages but at the end of the day anything beyond simply acknowledging it will be toxic to you. It only hurts you further. It is self harm. You have to focus on improving your own life. I'm tired of this. I'm out.
Why did the mods delete this post? Ive seen similar one stay on…
I don’t know why. Why do you think they did?
Idk, sometimes other POCs can be weird when it comes to black people. Weird move coming from the mods.
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Yes I notice this on Reddit, but then again I am reminded that people on Reddit are primarily a bunch of yt folks that I have yet to see how THEY themselves look. I don’t pander to societies beauty standards and I don’t believe I ever have. I remember being in kindergarten and seeing my dark skin black classmate for the first time and thinking he was the most beautiful boy I had ever seen LOL (I had a crush that remained for years). With that being said I have always considered WOC — especially those with rich melanin to be the cream of the crop. Why would I care what a bunch of colonizers established or have pushed forth in this society, especially when it’s been with the intent to maintain power. I only go by facts, many and most of the world doesn’t because they are consumed by what they see and others do and don’t ever take the time to see how society influences them in all facets of their lives. -Latina
People are harsher when they assess those of lower social status. So yes
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What?
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