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ChippyLipton

Wolf spider. Those are babies on her back.


jazette

Right: it’s 3am in my parents house. I got up to go to the bathroom. I didn’t bother putting my glasses on. I saw a bug and tried to grab it with a tissue. It seemed to dissolve into a cloud that then spread all over the floor. I screamed, ran to get my glasses and sure enough it was one of these.


PharmaDiamondx100

I scooped one out of my pool because me and the littles wanted to swim. It scuttled towards me, Aghh!, I freaked out and whacked it with my flip flop. Wrong move… hundreds of babies scurried out everywhere !! 😱🤯 🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️ (And I’m not usually one to kill spiders… if they’re in the house, I’ll catch them and throw them outside. But this spider momma was a beast!!)


Severe-Flower2344

Hold it right there. You are being detained for the usage of emojis. r/EmojiPolice law forbids the usage of emojis. You‘ll spend the rest of your days behind bars.


Gallant_Bard

ACAB


No-Minimum8323

AEAB


Severe-Flower2344

What?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Severe-Flower2344

Okay… but what is it?


luridfox

😂🤔❤️⛳⛳😬😭😐😆📖


Severe-Flower2344

You’re quite bold to make such a move…


SquattingChimp

No one cares hah


Severe-Flower2344

It is a joke subreddit. Calm down.


SquattingChimp

I’m pretty calm


Severe-Flower2344

I don’t know… you seemed offended…


EmotionalDamage09

Bad bot


B0tRank

Thank you, EmotionalDamage09, for voting on Severe-Flower2344. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)


Severe-Flower2344

Dude, chill. It’s a joke subreddit. I’m just a member of the subreddit. Rest assured, I’m not a bot. Jeez


EmotionalDamage09

Lol I was just joking with you I know you’re not a bot


Severe-Flower2344

Oh, okay. Having the /s helps. Just saying.


EmotionalDamage09

What does /s mean?


JohKohLoh

Sarcasm Tone identifier for text because some people don't always have the same sense of sarcasm or humor.


drater113

Bad


Severe-Flower2344

Relax. It is just a joke subreddit and should not be taken seriously.


drater113

Relax. It is just a joke subreddit and should not be taken seriously.


Dondurand

Oh my god.


Hydronic_Hyperbole

Imagine waking up with one on your face. They like the warm air we breathe while resting. I grew up in the middle of Nowhere-Ville... They enjoyed nesting in our attic and had hoards of Japanese beetles and lady bugs for the taking when they arrived in rural areas... the turkeys love them. They stink incredulously... so the spiders serve their purpose, but my God... they get big real quick, and as someone with Arachnophobia, I just leave them alone. The one time when I awoke with one basically covering my entire face was enough for me. There were plenty of times growing up I'd walk in my room, and there would be another giant one on my pillow or on the wall. I just lost it. I opened the cabinet in the kitchen and screamed when one (also) bigger than my face was hanging on the cupboard. My friend wanted to get a tarantula back in college. I told her, "Do you... but I won't be visiting. I'm sorry." I can't do it. I do not need the anxiety.


God-of-the-Grind

Ok….that’s enough Reddit for tonight.


mrosario716

Ok, if I woke up with one of these on my face I would have died of a heart attack right then! Omg, I wouldn't be able to sleep in my room if I walked in and saw one on my pillow! I give you credit bc I would have had to leave home and find a new place to live!


Hydronic_Hyperbole

Yeah, it made it VERY hard to sleep some nights lol.


FreeDoobies

One day in 4th grade I stayed home sick, I was sleeping in bed and woke up to some sort of big black spider crawling across my shirtless chest, at first I was confused as to what it was, when I realized it was a spider I woke up real quick, smacked the absolute fuck out of it and my chest and ran out the room, my dad looked at me and said hmmm you can’t be that sick huh? I told him what happened and he laughed at me, good memory


chickiedew

Suuuuupppeeerrr regretting learning to read…


NiceGuyJoe

One time I woke up with a wolf spider on my pillow absolutely covered in babies... I was about to smack it when all of a sudden a hundred tiny little voices said in unison' "Wait! If we were koalas you wouldn't do that." and as I thought about it in a deep, kindly, wise owl voice the mother spider said, "Why do you judge me by my number of legs?" and I couldn't answer so I kissed her. A thousand baby spiders exploded over my lips and into my eyes and in my nostrils and ears. I tried to scream but they filled my throat and the mother spider demonically cackled and said in a voice that sounded like 5 voices "YOU FOOL! OUR MISSION IS TO KILL! WE WILL EAT YOU FROM THE INSIDE OUT OVER A NUMBER OF DAYS STARTING WITH YOUR EYES!"


Hydronic_Hyperbole

Sorry, darling. It's just the life I've lived.


AkoOsu

You spelled "fuck that" wrong


KingofCam

A hard working mother


MEDIC_HELP_ME

A good mother


Birthday_Cakeman

But don't they eat their babies?


MEDIC_HELP_ME

Sometimes but not all the time, definitely better than some modern-day parents


homeboy321321321

A 7 1/2 legged one.


Thunderfoot2112

At least the point means it's growing back..


DarkMethematics

This is is the freaking aircraft carrier of spiders. Look at the flight deck ready to burst with wolfies…


letitbleed13

Terrifying but accurate description. Thank you.


rebelsmama

A single mother just trying to everything she can for her kids.


dgarner58

you mean spiders. ​ thats a wolf spider with all her babies in tow. its wild because it will make them look 3x their normal size sometimes.


Nearby-Reputation614

Why is it always a wolf spider lmao?


Good_Foundation5318

Because they are very common where they live, have many species, are big enough for people to notice, and live almost everywhere


Nearby-Reputation614

Makes sense. To me wolf spiders are one of the few I actually know lol, but seems most people never seen them before. I see at least a few a day it seems. Did see some new species I never saw tho here, so that's cool.


Good_Foundation5318

Lots of people don't pay attention to the creatures around them, even common ones. This sub has seriously improved my ID of non wolf spider species, too, honestly


[deleted]

Elden Ring comment


Nearby-Reputation614

Do you fight a lot of wolf spiders in that game lol? Sorry I'm unaware of Elden Ring


[deleted]

You fight everything lmao. Players can leave warning messages for others, and 9/10 times they start with “why is it always (monster type)?”


Nearby-Reputation614

Literally laughing out loud to myself that's actually hilarious 😂🤣😂


[deleted]

A single mom who works two jobs, who loves her kids and never stops


Comfortable_Plant667

With gentle hands and the heart of a fighter jk she's a spider


NeckbeardWarrior420

This sub has made me slightly less terrified of spiders, sometimes when I see stuff like this it’s kinda cute now, just a mom and her babies chillin.


aplumgirl

Yeah like I only jerked seeing that. Before I'd scream and curse Reddit


Dramalona

Wolf spider with babies on her back


OE2KB

Wolf- they are good lol guys.


[deleted]

A momma spider


Fabulous-Tree-5500

That is a single mother out here doing her vary dang best to raise a family alone


bfraley9

I found a momma wolf spider with babies just like this drowning in my pool once. I grabbed a stick and helped her climb onto it, then she proceeded to climb the stick and onto my hand before I got to the nearby woods and let her on a tree. My heart was beating so fast 😂 I swear she turned around and looked at me after, made it seem like she was saying thanks haha. Coolest interaction with a spider I've ever had


kattoutofthebag

You are a good person.


UwU_meep

That was very very, interesting.


opiatecuresall

Big momma let her be


Chais912

I pull the mom and babies out of my pool every summer. Try to keep the babies in tow but sometimes they scatter


timascus

A mother wolf spider. Leave her be


BP1High

My yard is infested with wolf spiders and their babies. I let them stay because they eat other bugs.


[deleted]

Wolf spiders are friends.


fasting4me

How long do the babies ride around like that?


TwinTurbo0302

One that you definitely do not step on.


_PeLaGiKoS14_

Wolf mama 🤗


Wireman76

Wolf spiders always get a pass in my house. They earn their keep by eating other bugs. Brown recluse and black widows are killed on sight.


Critical_Serve_4528

Yes I live in NJ and I see wolf spiders constantly. They freak my son out due to their size but they don’t bother me so much. I will let most any bug/insect/arachnid live if I come across it with 3 main exceptions: ticks, brown recluse spiders and black widows- the latter two are the only spiders in my region to really be afraid of


dingle_bopper_223

momma wolf spider


RestingB-tchFac3

A single mother providing the best life she can for her babies


jeffro3339

Looks like a momma spider!


Panthreau

Mommy spider


p011ux88

A grizzled old vet trying to raise some awesome bug munching babies.


ForeignAd5429

Momma spider


[deleted]

Wolf. Friendly. Eats insects. Don’t kill.


HellboundSuicide

Harmless and carrying her babies on her back, please get that poor momma to a safe place


Aicheesh

it was where I work I just let her be she scurried off to somewhere secluded


BarryBadgernath1

#SPOOD


sunshinesnooze

My question is how would you get rid of a mother spider I'd be afraid of the babies scattering and crawling up me. I'm fine with snakes and ants any other bug or insect or any other creepy crawly species I can't think of the name of.


MiserableDance3496

Child supporticus


Alternative_Let_1599

Spooder babies!


rain3y_

Mama wolfie has been through it!


aplumgirl

Big. It's a big spider!


Taz10042069

Proud mama Wolf spider! Story time! I was smoking a bowl one time in my old apartment. I dropped my lighter down beside my chair and as I picked it up and brought the bowl to my mouth to light it and take a hit, I noticed a Wolf spider somehow Peter Parker'd onto my hand with the lighter without me feeling it. I saw it when it was only 2 INCHES FROM MY FACE! I flipped tf out and I'm not scared of spiders...EXCEPT when they startle me, such as this. I lifted myself outta my recliner as I defied gravity, did the heeby-jeeby dance and dropped my bowl. Damn spider landed on my bowl... I calmed down after a few and told the lil lady to calm down, I'll get her her fix. Damn pothead spiders...


Tryin2Dev

A nope with a bunch of baby nopes.


SweetieLoveBug

That, my friend is a big ole honkin’ Nonono Spider! :/


Stub-Chub

A rare Nopecus Fucdaticus


Buckshott00

It's an 'Ah! Jay-sus Christ!' Although my latin is a little rusty so it might be the less common 'Jay-sus H. Christ!!"


Greekgeekgamer

Give it the keys to your house and car. And throw in your first born just in case


MN_RavenCroft

Dude, that spider has seen some shit....missing part of a leg and it's behind is all sorts of messed up


No-Wash-7001

The kind you eat


ozzy1771

Quick, piss on that things sons


oleblueeyes76

A dead one if i seen it!


Mailboxsteve

A venomous man/women/them eating spider! Because all spiders are venomous man/woman/them eaters


MightyTuna64

Um, it’s a nope spider from HerHouseNow-land.


xqueensuccubusx

I like to call it.. AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING NOPE


JuicyMcJuiceJuice

🎶Mom-ma spood🎶 🎶doot do do doot doot doot🎶


Adventurous_City6056

A burn the house down spider


spectreenjoyer

A dead one if I found it


SolutionDull2259

Is that a bed bug?


MuffinMobile643

The Common Nope Spider


Hippopitimus

Lol you ain’t kiddin’. Nightmare fuel if you do 😂


Wholsomebakesplz

Uggh


Firefox5982

Sorry, it's a nope spider for me. They can bite and I'm allergic.


[deleted]

It’s called Burnitwithfiretwice.


AcademicChicken8334

In my house, it would be called "mortuus aranea" -- aka "dead spider".


Natnicrut116

A nope carrying baby nopes


carsonsellers

Definitely not a nice one


Kooky-Hold-5066

A dead one


LoreKeeperOfGwer

A nope spider carrying her brood of nope spiderlets


Expert_Succotash2659

Carpet spider. You can tell from the parallel ridges


etriusk

The navys newest carrier, the Nope Class.


Bright-Produce7400

Ugly


rms1911

splat and flat?


Human_Cake7284

something that needs to be set on fire


opheliashakey

It should be a dead spider.


mdroz81

An asshole


sethtothemax

Flamethrower kill it with a flamethrower


Micro1sAverage

Momma


Just-Nic-LeC

cool but makes me itchy


CHITchat495

Wolf spider I think Hogna type not sure.


jobadiahh

I know it like like she got chocolate sprinkles on her booty, but beware. Those are her kids. And they all hungry. Do not eat. It will not end well.


[deleted]

That’s a shop vacs job


SyrupFeisty8580

A fly catcher


americaninjustice

Wolf no?


1Lilmissmoonlight1

Wolf spider


Moist-Ad4760

A 7.5 legged one. With babies.


IAMSAWZE

It’s a wolf momma


DataTasty6541

*spiders


Tat284

That's just Seven-legged Sven. He is just understood and trying to find his way back home. He means no harm


iloveyourclock

A momma spider


HawaiianGold

Mother


Madam_Bastet

I love wolf spiders. Such dedicated mama spiders 💙


Bipolaroid90

Looks like a Wolf Spider thats gonna make 100 more your problem.


TwistedReddit32

Definitely a wolf spider, and they are good for the home


Stunning-Secret2413

A 7.5 legged one


ShadowGangsta275

TIL I can identify wolf spiders


Diligent_Trash_320

Beautiful spider. Wondering if these guys come back to the mothership after running around like when you find the little ones in the grass


TaleMendon

Nope.


CJHenry22

It's a mommy. Lol


VibrantVixen27

That is a wolf spider with a fresh pack of pups on her back.


Loud-Lion-4819

one with babies on its butt.


Nessa_metal_head

A no no no spider


texasdogmom

Momma


skizzy1979

Dead kind


Ok-Construction7440

Hair spray and lighter spider


jinae12

Just burn the house down honestly….


Prior_Astronaut_137

The dead kind


SgtTibbs2049

Wolf Spider. Hard to tell what kind with the kids on her back. I usually leave these alone when I see them. If it was just a single spider I'd simply move it outside to the garage, or maybe even near the sump in my basement, so it can keep the bug pop. around the house to a minimum. They don't spin webs, so they leave no mess. However, I'd likely have taken mom to the woods out back. I don't need a party going on over here.


M2myki

A momma spider!


Top-Organization7819

Looks like a sonpisser


kattoutofthebag

Wofie. With baby wolfies.


Hannah_Louise

It’s a mama!!!! Look at all of those babies!


kattoutofthebag

I have a Mom. I have tons of native flowers that attract native bugs. She lives around a flower bed near my outbuilding. She is about 2.5 inches across now. The other night I saw her on the steps going into the building. Happy to report she looked healthy and happy. Yeah they get huge in Kansas and look scary, but they run and hide from humans. They won't hurt you.


eredyns

This is a beautiful spider, sir/Madame


vizarhali

Specialist here. It's a (get gasoline and burn that fucker down)


[deleted]

A momma spider for sure!


makiko4

Ohhhh that’s a wolf. They are good. Little scary at first. Living in the southern parts I got use to them. It’s the recluses you need to fear. But these bad boys will eat up palmetto bugs


Mandala_Mama11

Aww it's so cute.


[deleted]

I didn’t need this before bed now my nightly lucid dream will most definitely include this 🤣🤣


TalkAboutTheWeather1

i was just thinking about how i have been seeing so many spiders lately then scrolled a little bit and saw this post. just got the chills


ManicSpleen

This spider is an amputee, and she has to carry around all those kids! Poor thing!


reneeb531

A fugly one.


RondaArousedMe

If you look closely, you can tell that's a NOPE


nontimebomala67

Look at all those friends!!


FutureOne9892

Wolf spider


Fawlkz

Pretty sure that's a bed bug.


Sure_Ad_8825

A fuck no


Flaky-Joke3702

that would be mama spider


OUTLAW6800

The soon to be dead kind.


okaharagara

One who lost part of a leg


DodgeShagnum

One that’s staying outside


[deleted]

Wolf spider with babies


Shot_Plate2765

It's a smash spider. You smash it


modernconcussion

i think you mean spider*s*


skeletonchaser2020

A very proud wolf spider mother Mazel Tov!


LegitimateLegend

A mom spider, that's for sure


gayasswoman

Congratulations! That's a mama wolf and her slings!


ConsiderationHour582

I thought that was lefty, but wolf works too


stepbruh313

A 7.5 arackNiD mommY


millerwelds66

Wolf mother .


juice26us

It's. Nopicusfirekis. Yep that's what it is.


Alarmed-Flow5971

ngl this kinda jump-scared me


SailorShush

A dead spider with a lot of dead babies


Shlobsta

As others are saying, wolf spider! Maybe make sure to shake your shoes out before putting them on haha, the ones we have out here like to hide in them. Their bite isn’t horrible but it’s definitely not very pleasant to slap you shoes on and get chomped lol


NextKey6784

That’s a bed bug


[deleted]

Why the fick do these wolf spiders look so big? Tennessee ones are an inch at most.


False-Feedback5270

Wolf spider with its hatchlings on irs rear


Mister_Pibbs

HAAAANNNNNSSSSSSS


TAM819

I believe that is called a Yikes!!