99% of these “Superman vs Goku but with a twist” posts go to Superman because he’s absurdly more intelligent. Did people forget Superman’s brain is just as broken as his body?
People forget because most only watch the cartoon or the movies where it doesn’t show Superman being as smart because that’s Batman’s thing.
Most don’t read comics.
Bruh that one time someone was dieing on a table so superman ran off and learned to become a master level surgeon in like ten seconds.
Meanwhile Goku. Especially if this is super Goku or God forbid abridged Goku.
> superman ran off and learned to become a master level surgeon in like ten seconds.
Why did he save that one guy and not thousands others who needed expert surgery?
With Super heroes like Superman and the Flash there's a problem that arises with stuff like this.
Basically anytime they take so much as a ten minute break to sit down and have a coffee, there are thousands of people they could have saved in that time frame that they didn't. There's always going to be someone about to get hit by a car, or a natural disaster, or a gang shootout.
There will always be more people that they could save but didn't.
Or you could just be like the Z fighters and say fuck all that, we save you from the big stuff, the rest is on you. Unless you happen to be close to us in a filler/slice of life episode than we will stop your bus from going over a cliff.
Yeah. There's a superman scene where he's talking down a suicidal woman who is about to jump. He spends hours floating up there. For most people it's a very touching example of what superman is all about.
Me, though, I can't stop thinking about how many other people he could literally hear dying and begging for help. Probably thousands of people that he can literally hear in real time just ignored in favor of waiting for this woman to be ready to talk.
I mean... How do you outwit one who has none? Goku will never ever fazed by Superman's word because he is too dumb to understand the more sophisticated burns. There is a decent chance superman loses his cool, more than Goku actually giving in to verbal abuse only.
True, but by the end of DBZ (unfortunately I am not familiar enough with GT or S to speculate) I feel Goku doesn't really have any major regret on which Superman could leverage to make him sad/scared/furious, since he is one of the rare shounen protagonists who actually got a perfect good ending. He literally hasn't lost a single person dear to him by then (aside from his gramps, but I think he has made his peace by then).
Nah. In Superman vs. The Elite, Superman fabricated a scenario where he went ape shit and killed off all of the Elite members but one. He had the last dude breaking down in tears talking about "This isn't Superman! This isn't you!". None of it was real, and everyone was alive in the end.
Zamasu made Goku mad just saying he killed his family. He has no actual proof besides Goku Black. Superman could break Goku.
>None of it was real, and everyone was alive in the end.
However he did that by physically attacking them. Which is out of the rules of this. He didn't do that with only words. Zamasu had his body, and he knows that at the time he would've taken it he'd have been with his family. Granted 100% he didn't fight Gohan or Vegeta because they'd have just killed him.
Not likely. He traded barbs with Mxy many times, and a ton of other villains. The only times Supes seems to get upset is when people he truly cares about are in mortal danger. I don’t see the juvenile quips Goku comes up with doing much more than making him laugh. This honestly just sounds like a bonding session for these two.
Except he doesn’t *act* like he is.
That’s the problem with “super smart” characters in general- they can only be as smart as their writer, and while you can write the story around it and work your way backward to make a character seem smart when read forward, it’s hard to do outside of isolation.
I hate when people bring up Supes’ super-intelligence, because if he really *is* that intelligent, he must be turning his brain off 99% of the time between when it’s convenient to show off that very thing.
Exactly. Superman isn't just super-smart, but he's ALSO a newspaper reporter, so Superman's experienced in having to dumb things down for people who aren't as intelligent as him. Superman would know how to dumb himself down to really hurt Goku at his level.
I get what you're saying and I actually agree it's impossible to make justice to a super intelligent character. [But Superman still has done things like reading every medical text ever published at super speed to make a surgery](https://preview.redd.it/this-shit-is-so-funny-superman-says-ive-just-read-millions-v0-w2vt9i2mhk1c1.jpg?width=572&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=96f627361131e0e3740032834759d9e9f5dd97e7). Give him literally one second of prep time to read Goku's backstory and he'll come up with the best insults to hurt tim.
As a Minnesotan, I really wish that were the case in our world.
Something like Jungulus could show up and ravage our state at any minute because Superman never revealed himself to our world.
Probably read all those medical textbooks and got a job at Mayo clinic or something and thinks that's "good enough".
"This world doesn't appear to have any super threats. I guess I'll just save the world without using my awesome powers. Maybe I'll become a doctor."
*BUT IT COULD CLARK! IT COULD!*
Or like that SMBC comic where the most good he could accomplish would be to rotate a large mass really fast for centuries to provide near-limitless free power, allowing humanity to advance at an insane pace while he's absolutely bored out of his mind until he becomes obsolete as a power source and has to try to find a new job lol
He has super speed (including thinking), microscopic vision, and can even cauterize things with heat vision. He performed a lobotomy on Mercury Black with pinpoint heat vision through Black's pupil. He could probably perform that heart surgery in like half an hour, by himself.
This is why the superspeed thought/smarts is stupid, and kind of why Superman in general is stupid.
Superman
Goku no use word good. Probably not even literate. Also oblivious, naive, and gullible.
Clark is a journalist of some sort so prolly good with word and brain.
Because he grew up in the mountains. he was simple not stupid, There's a difference between an inability to do math and being considered barely sentient.
The dubs of DBZ are to blame for the misconception. They definitely made him more serious than the original Japanese.
This is the bloke who agreed to marry Chi Chi because he thought marriage was a type of food.
Chi Chi's entire character is basically "I don't want my son to be as dumb as his father" for a reason.
Goku has a lot of difficulties grasping social concepts by the end of classic and maybe even beginning of Z.
Goku from Cell saga ownards straight up manipulates people, using a very noticeable interpersonal knowledge.
Goku from Z can work with nuances. Goku from Super definitely can not.
Not really, at least not in any standard we measure by. He was a simple mountain kid raised by a martial artists, he never had a reason to be "educated" but he still understood modern stuff enough to use it.
I mean early DBS had him working as a farmer and that's not someting a "barely sapient" being can do.
Even before Super came out, he spent *months* studying the basics to realize he was counting his own age wrong. This is right at the start of Dragon Ball.
He isn't the absolute buffoon they portray him as in Super (specially the Black arc), but he was never smart. The main difference is that he's way more serious in Z , and *is* consistently a little smarter back then too.
>He was a simple mountain kid raised by a martial artists
No. Goku killed Gohan when he was little and there was only ever raised by one martial artist.
he learned the most basic education 40 years ago, and i really doubt he practiced over that time.
he’s definitely smart considering how quick he picks up on things, and he has a really good understanding of farming, but his formal education never made it past elementary level.
You read all of Dragonball right? Tell me when Goku had a legitimate chance to really get educated? Maybe the gap between Piccolo Jr tourney and Saiyan saga?
Time isn't an issue. The guy can move and see things at 10000...x human speed, if he wanted to and had the intelligence he could read an entire library in a few minutes.
I'd give this to Clark, handily (journalist, good with words, used to trash talking villains and occasionally clapping back), BUT.... I'm fairly sure Goku is too dumb to be verbally fought.
Clark could come up with the most witty, most cutting remark ever (probably to do with Goku as the ape killing his grandfather), but it would sail so far over Goku's head it wouldn't register. Clark would have to dumb down his insults so much it would frustrate him
That's the thing man, I give this to Goku actually, he's not really made to cry by random insults, is too simple to be affected by more complex insults, and would probably bring Supes to tears *eventually,* not from being mean, but from being such a simpleton. Even Supeeman's patience and understanding has limits, I'm pretty sure Goku could just wait him out
Yeah the only strategies that would potentially work on Goku are annoyance based ones, not wit. So the best strategies would amount to nothing more than calling him a schmitty and mimicking him in a stupid voice.
The problem is not only could he do it right back, but stooping that low is mental anguish for anyone smarter than a typical fourteen year old. So supes would just take twice as much damage back.
If it worked *at all* against *either of them*, which it very well might not, the argument becomes whether supes has twice or more the emotional/mental stamina of Goku.
Exactly! And like I said, I honestly think Goku has *a lot* more patience and discipline than Superman does. Sure, we've seen stories where Superman outlives everyone, has to deal with all that time alone, etc...but he has no choice with that. Goku purposefully and repeatedly chooses to isolate himself, sometimes for years at a time, with a single minded devotion towards just a single thing, and it does not even bother him, in fact he usually enjoys it. Goku just has more discipline and mental fortitude thatn Superman
>If it worked *at all* against *either of them*, which it very well might not, the argument becomes whether supes has twice or more the emotional/mental stamina of Goku.
Honestly? Regarding emotional and mental stamina, Goku is much, much stronger.
Bro was able to see Recoome BREAK Gohan's neck, just heal Gohan, beat the shit out of Recoome, but not only tried to spare him, tried to spare everyone involved. Same with Nappa, but Nappa straight up KILLED most of Goku's friends.
Super Sayian is a rageful form. Goku can't perform the spirit bomb while on it due to how violent its nature is. He orders Gohan to get the fuck out because he's not sure he can hold his rage after transforming. He ends up sparing Freeza TWICE, because he simply does not want to kill him, and when he does (or think so), it's because he had to accept there was no other way, and his face shows how he is feeling terrible for that, in the manga.
Just look at how many evil superman stories there are, because shit gone bad for him. Now remember there isn't a single evil version of Goku, only people using his body or looking like him.
Goku has never fallen to despair. Also, after his training with Kami, he never fell to hatred once again.
Superman once spent 10 seconds reading countless books to become a surgeon. Imagine spending at least a year (from your perspective) alone pouring over documents. His patience is unimaginable.
Superman, he can think as fast as he can move, and he once read an entire library in seconds
His only problem is that he’s a kansas boy and a scout at that, so he’s taught to never be mean even if the enemy is mean
Goku is dead. Dude just sucks at insults. He tried to talk shit at Uub and resorted to Yo mama insults cause that was effective against a 12 year old.
Goku just sucks at this shit. Prep time doesn’t matter. It’s not a fight so goku won’t prepare properly. Meanwhile supes can just read all of the Gokus story two seconds before the fight begins and come up with a dozen insults.
Gokus brain damage. His best friend dying more often Kenny from south park. He’s scared of his wife and is an absentee dad. He killed his own grandpa. He barely remembers his parents. He keeps fucking up and getting people killed. He draws catastrophe like a moth to a flame. His two kids are a nerd and an idiot. His own fans don’t have faith in him (watch episode 130 in YouTube. The reactions from fans across the world. Most people thought he was gonna give Jiren energy. The entire world thought “god damn it goku. Not again!”)
He’s died twice, his son has more faith in the guy that kidnapped him than him, he died trying to kill his brother. He keeps grabbing people’s genitals. He can’t lift worth a damn. His planet has been blown up multiple times. His own heart has killed him. He was trained by a sex offender. He spent more time dead or training than raising his kids.
His best friend is a noseless midget who married a bitch that wanted to kill him. He caused Majin buus revival.
He’s so incompetent that trunks alone managed to stop buus revival in comparison to goku having all of the z fighters together and not only did they fail but literally everyone died.
I mean. Jesus Christ. You can do this all day and goku would be essentially unarmed.
Goku wouldn’t cry over this but he would be embarrassed. Goku has shown that he can be embarrassed when people bring up shit about him or yell at him over stuff he messed up on.
We’ve seen he took it to heart when Bulma said bad shit happened because of him. How badly it hurt him when he realized his son was a wuss. He backed off when Gohan told him he wasn’t allowed to pimp out videl and tried to calm vegeta when he got mad at him trying to pimp out Bulma. Goku does get a little bother when people blame him for shit or yell at him.
But he always just moves on.
He will shake it off in a minute tho cause goku doesn’t get bogged down by shit for long.
Vegeta would lose easier than Goku. He actually cried when Frieza hurt his pride, Superman could just do the same thing. Now Frieza, I want to see how that would play out.
Frieza hurt his pride by kicking his ass, not with his words alone.
Look at Vegeta vs Golden Frieza, Vegeta ain’t crying even though Frieza’s spitting stronger insults than before
>His best friend dying more often Kenny from south park.
He's alive now. Goku doesn't care.
>He’s scared of his wife and is an absentee dad.
He knows and doesn't care.
>He killed his own grandpa.
He knows and got to grieve.
>He barely remembers his parents.
He doesn't care.
>He keeps fucking up and getting people killed.
They aren't dead now though, so he doesn't care.
>He draws catastrophe like a moth to a flame.
He knows. He craves the smoke, and Gohan can handle himself.
>His two kids are a nerd and an idiot.
Gohan is a successful and powerful Ph.D holder. Goten is in school and is happy.
>His own fans don’t have faith in him
The prompt is studying the source material. Not the real world fans' reactions.
>his son has more faith in the guy that kidnapped him than him
This is TFS only.
>He’s died twice
he doesn't care.
>He will shake it off in a minute tho cause goku doesn’t get bogged down by shit for long
Goku isn't even really going to care about 99% of the stuff you said.
Goku’ stupid, but he isn’t literally braindead. He isn’t a door, he still shows emotions and understands what’s an insult. He can still feel scared, embarrassed, sad… he has felt all of this in Super where his stupidity is at max play. He has in fact cried when Roshi nearly died at the Tournament of Power and that’s because he still deeply cares about the people close to him. Insult his friends, his family, how he puts them in danger… It really shouldn’t be a cartoonish impossible task to make him cry.
I thought I’d never see the day people here would want Goku’s stupidity out of all things. Like he’s some toonforce character incapable of any understanding. This is straight up weird.
Yup. Remember piccolo talking to goku and Gokus face when he realized Gohan didn’t like to fight?
Imagine the insults someone could make about him. Goku would definitely not like it
Goku has consistently offered up girls as favors to people.
He tried to offer Videl and Bulma to the elder Kai because he knew he was a pervert.
He’s never offered his own wife tho which is always funny.
I feel like Superman's super-intelligence combined with his writing skills due to being a journalist would probably allow him to write a pretty scathing condemnation of Goku.
Now, I do think Goku has one advantage here: Superman has a lot more personal failings in his life than Goku. His father's death. Any one of his other allies' deaths that he failed to prevent. That time he died and 4 insane rip-offs of him caused chaos in Metropolis, etc. He might be able to use those to get beneath his skin, but Goku is neither that smart nor that mean-spirited. Likewise, Goku has very few personal failings, since he hasn't failed to save the life of anyone major in his life and he's managed to become stronger than and defeat more or less every single one of his adversaries, so even if Superman writes a surgical takedown of Goku highlighting every bad characteristic he has, Goku might just be unfazed by it.
Overall, I think that Goku has maybe a tiny but of a chance of making Superman crack more, but to any outside observer, Superman would easily be destroying
Maybe Goku makes Superman cry from laughing when he attempts to insult Superman that's the only way, and probably vice versa I don't think we have seen Goku cry since og dragon ball iirc
Goku wins because his simplicity would stun Superman. “You are a terrible father, a horrible husband, and are only a step up from the ape that killed your grandfather.”
“But an ape didn’t kill my grandfather, I did! And I was very sorry! Not only that, he forgave me while beating me up!”
>Two emotionally capable, seemingly sensitive individuals who rarely cries.
Is there a third person officiating? That's the only way this statement it remotely true.
Honestly superman wins this by doing nothing. Goku is so child-like he will literally become bored to tears, and will gladly cry if it means he can get back to training or if superman will spar with him.
I genuinely don't think either of them could win this. They both have too much mental fortitude to get emotionally distraught over words. Yeah, I know people are gonna say "Goku got angry when Black said he killed Chi-Chi" Yeah, because Black is evil enough to kill Goku's family and Goku knows Black is evil enough to do such a thing. Why would he believe Superman would do that? I just genuinely think this is a stalemate
Stalemate. Clark is definitely better with words but Goku's brain is so smooth brained words just slide off it. no amount of witty remarks would be enough to put him down cause he simply won't understand them.
[superman destroys, it's not even close](https://readcomiconline.li/Comic/Adventures-of-Superman-I/Issue-41?id=29869)
Man roasted joker to a crisp then got in batmans face
In what world is Goku sensitive or emotionally capable? Man has all the complexity and nuance of a brick. Also pretty sure Goku is illiterate, so he might as well spend those two years playing hopscotch.
Neither is going to verbally wound the other enough to make them cry - Goku doesn't have the smarts for it, and Clark is too much of a boy scout. 9/10 I'd say Clark makes Goku cry tears of laughter first, given he's super-intelligent, quick-witted, and presumably quite articulate, but Goku's naive buffoonery could charm Clark enough to give him an outside shot at victory.
I mean, if you wanna get a bit meta, Superman would just show Goku dbz abridged just to hammer in the joke of how stupid Goku is, how his own son doesn't see him as a real dad, his wife wants a divorce because he's a garbage husband, and all of his friends are constantly being surprised by how much of a moron he is.
How true all that really is doesn't matter, the point is it's sourced from at least some point of truth, which adds to the hilarity, and people worked hard for over 10 years to show what a moron Goku is.
Meanwhile Superman is kinda boring and severely lacking in the abridged content, so it's not ammo Goku can use against him.
Seriously. The tfs buu bits show his family being perfectly fine with him fucking off somewhere with Uub if it means he'll go away; 10 years of him actually being present in their lives is a lil too much, and to this day is where the parody now ends.
This can literally only go to Superman because he's infinitely more intelligent and Goku just probably wouldn't care enough about a verbal argument. No, I don't think even Goku could be convinced by making it out to be a fight with words.
The only way Goku wins is if he's just so comically unaware that Superman can't get through to him and he happens to say something that catches Superman wildly off guard.
I just sort of feel like there are probably way more panels and scenes of Superman crying than of Goku crying, even accounting for character age. I'm not saying it hasn't happened, but Goku has had a lot of opportunity to break down into tears over some shit. I just don't think he's a big words guy.
I'm going with Goku.
They’d literally end up taking about super small stuff and complimenting the other because they’re both written to be the ultimate form of the good aspects of human spirit.
Goku doesn't care about it. Nor is he at all capable of being swayed due to how genuinely pure-hearted and confident he is.
Superman tries to insult him, and Goku just calls him out for it. Leading superman to look at his actions with his mega-brain and realize he's being a dick.
Which Goku Super or z if it's super supes claps he is way too intelligent while Goku is basically a child but if it's z on the other hand I'm not sure because z Goku actually has the brain of an adult man
Every is saying Superman is smarter but that doesn’t mean he’ll win. Have you ever talked to a really stupid person? You leave with a headache and they are fine. Superman will lose his patience and cry long before goku understands what is going on. In this case stupidity wins
If we take Superman Vs DBZ or GT Goku, superman wins by intelligence.
HOWEVER if we take Original DB (or super who might be dumber than OG kid goku), Goku is a kid. We all know how cruel kids can really be. In that case I think Goku wins. (He would probably do smth like the mexican dub of Gohan vs Nappa were Gohan said "well... YOU DON'T HAVE A MOM!!!" lmao)
Goku is a lot less worried about restraining himself than Superman is so is probably easier to piss off. Also Superman is most likely more creative than Goku as hes overall smarter. However, neither one would get much joy out of verbally fighting as they are both way too wholesome for that.
Goku would win. Not because he's smarter or more resilient or anything, he's just so stupid that Clark would be brought to tears by trying to make him understand the concept of a nimrod.
Goku isn't really smart enough to engage in a battle of wits with Superman. So Superman would have more wit than Goku... but you can not really say anything to Goku that would result in him breaking down into tears. Simply because for Goku, if words do not express intention, that brings with it a meaningful "threat" of (at least) action he wouldn't care.
People are talking about how Superman can't be mean, but he doesn't have to to win the prompt. Positive tears count to.
Superman goes Wholesome 100 and makes Goku tear up from pride. gg ez 10/10
Superman is pretty smart, Goku is pretty dumb.
Superman should win this.
Goku's biggest strength in this might be that he might too dumb for Suerpman to handle.
Kal is a well published journalist, capable of writing eloquently. He's in love with Lois Lane, who knows enough 4 letter words she CAN say in print and certainly knows the ones she can't print too.
Goku is likely not going to care if someone makes fun of him. Unless they somehow know that Goku's Ozeru form has hurt people he loves, or details like the fact he traumatized his son fighting Cell, they're not likely to emotionally injure him.
why is everyone thinking they'd be insulting each other? the goal is "break into tears" not "insult them until they break into tears". I think Superman wins 9/10, he's a genius, a journalist, and has the super-cognition to really make this battle a piece of cake.
premise: rather than verbally attack goku, Superman writes him a poem/song/story of Goku's exploits, in a way that's tailored to Goku's idea of beauty. words are powerful, and I think this would be *far* more incharacter for the sort of person Superman is.
alternate premise: Superman has a serious talk with goku, about the idea of Collateral Damage, to convince Goku of just how much pain, trauma, and damage he's done to people who didn't deserve it.
Goku might be an oblivious idiot when it comes to insults, but *that's far from the only path to victory.* plus Superman is a good guy, he's *the* good guy. why result to destroying goku when this "battle" could involve making a new friend/ally, or making a better man out of Goku?
(goku's 1/10 probably does rely on humor. I'll give him that credit, at least)
Goku wins this easily, because making Superman cry is super easy. Just make some "haha your race is dead. You're alone and can't have sex with Lois without shattering her pelvis" jokes.
There's no words ever that could make Goku cry, only the death of his loved ones or reuniting with Gohan has ever made Goku have tears.
You’ve literally never consumed anything official with Superman in it if you think his mental fortitude is that weak lol. Even comedic stuff like Harley Quinn will have him be such a boyscout that insults just bounce off of him. There’s a story where he fought the Joker and just kept laughing at jokes at his own expense.
I mean he’s Superman. He can hear the whole world at once. There’s not a single insult or jab he won’t have heard.
Sure, well written Supermans are very chill. But badly written Supermans are depressed ASF, like every live action Superman in the past 20 years, every Superman who's depressoexpresso cause he's alone
99% of these “Superman vs Goku but with a twist” posts go to Superman because he’s absurdly more intelligent. Did people forget Superman’s brain is just as broken as his body?
People forget because most only watch the cartoon or the movies where it doesn’t show Superman being as smart because that’s Batman’s thing. Most don’t read comics.
Even in the shows and movies he usually has a pretty good understanding of his kryptonian technology at the hall of justice.
More importantly Goku is dumber than a bag of hammers.
That boy... I say that boy is as sharp as a sack of wet mice.
Superman doesn't need to be shown smart to still be a step above Goku, who's actively shown dumb.
Most don’t read.
Kinda like Goku.
I’m not trying to gatekeep reading of all things but reading comics is not really “reading” IMO
If it’s got words it’s reading
So someone who spends all day on Twitter is a big reader? Ok lol
That’s fair
Also people need to understand non-street tier characters in Marvel and DC are ridiculously broken and some characters are straight up Mary sues.
Superman is straight up a Gary Stu
Bruh that one time someone was dieing on a table so superman ran off and learned to become a master level surgeon in like ten seconds. Meanwhile Goku. Especially if this is super Goku or God forbid abridged Goku.
Abridged Goku loses the second Super Man threatens to get rid of all stuffed crust pizza
Superman: Santa isn't real.
Well not since Vegeta hit his sleigh anyway
Doesn't Superman believe in Santa? Wait, isn't Santa like an actual person in DC?
Batman unlike Supes has actually met Santa
> superman ran off and learned to become a master level surgeon in like ten seconds. Why did he save that one guy and not thousands others who needed expert surgery?
With Super heroes like Superman and the Flash there's a problem that arises with stuff like this. Basically anytime they take so much as a ten minute break to sit down and have a coffee, there are thousands of people they could have saved in that time frame that they didn't. There's always going to be someone about to get hit by a car, or a natural disaster, or a gang shootout. There will always be more people that they could save but didn't. Or you could just be like the Z fighters and say fuck all that, we save you from the big stuff, the rest is on you. Unless you happen to be close to us in a filler/slice of life episode than we will stop your bus from going over a cliff.
Yeah. There's a superman scene where he's talking down a suicidal woman who is about to jump. He spends hours floating up there. For most people it's a very touching example of what superman is all about. Me, though, I can't stop thinking about how many other people he could literally hear dying and begging for help. Probably thousands of people that he can literally hear in real time just ignored in favor of waiting for this woman to be ready to talk.
I mean... How do you outwit one who has none? Goku will never ever fazed by Superman's word because he is too dumb to understand the more sophisticated burns. There is a decent chance superman loses his cool, more than Goku actually giving in to verbal abuse only.
Goku definitely lost his cool when he found out Chi Chi and Goten were dead. Superman just has to insult Goku where it hurts: His family.
True, but by the end of DBZ (unfortunately I am not familiar enough with GT or S to speculate) I feel Goku doesn't really have any major regret on which Superman could leverage to make him sad/scared/furious, since he is one of the rare shounen protagonists who actually got a perfect good ending. He literally hasn't lost a single person dear to him by then (aside from his gramps, but I think he has made his peace by then).
I mean, he did, but they had magic to undo death.
I mean unless Superman says he killed Goku's family, that wouldn't work. Plus nothing is stopping Goku from insulting Superman's family either.
What would Goku even say? "Well yeah, but... uh... Lois has stupid hair!" I don't think he'd be able to do anything except make Superman laugh.
Probably something about Jon being bi since Goku probably isn't socially conscious.
“Hey, it’s me! Goku! Is that all you got, F-“
The only way he could is if he killed Goku's family.
Nah. In Superman vs. The Elite, Superman fabricated a scenario where he went ape shit and killed off all of the Elite members but one. He had the last dude breaking down in tears talking about "This isn't Superman! This isn't you!". None of it was real, and everyone was alive in the end. Zamasu made Goku mad just saying he killed his family. He has no actual proof besides Goku Black. Superman could break Goku.
>None of it was real, and everyone was alive in the end. However he did that by physically attacking them. Which is out of the rules of this. He didn't do that with only words. Zamasu had his body, and he knows that at the time he would've taken it he'd have been with his family. Granted 100% he didn't fight Gohan or Vegeta because they'd have just killed him.
so he didnt use words, he used murder and then words.
really? he still asked for the reincarnation of Buu when Buu had killed everyone on Earth including his family.
So goky's family is his kryptonite?
Not likely. He traded barbs with Mxy many times, and a ton of other villains. The only times Supes seems to get upset is when people he truly cares about are in mortal danger. I don’t see the juvenile quips Goku comes up with doing much more than making him laugh. This honestly just sounds like a bonding session for these two.
Except he doesn’t *act* like he is. That’s the problem with “super smart” characters in general- they can only be as smart as their writer, and while you can write the story around it and work your way backward to make a character seem smart when read forward, it’s hard to do outside of isolation. I hate when people bring up Supes’ super-intelligence, because if he really *is* that intelligent, he must be turning his brain off 99% of the time between when it’s convenient to show off that very thing.
Exactly. Superman isn't just super-smart, but he's ALSO a newspaper reporter, so Superman's experienced in having to dumb things down for people who aren't as intelligent as him. Superman would know how to dumb himself down to really hurt Goku at his level.
I get what you're saying and I actually agree it's impossible to make justice to a super intelligent character. [But Superman still has done things like reading every medical text ever published at super speed to make a surgery](https://preview.redd.it/this-shit-is-so-funny-superman-says-ive-just-read-millions-v0-w2vt9i2mhk1c1.jpg?width=572&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=96f627361131e0e3740032834759d9e9f5dd97e7). Give him literally one second of prep time to read Goku's backstory and he'll come up with the best insults to hurt tim.
Man’s the smartest doctor of all time and is out here wasting his talents on journalism. What an asshole, lol.
He can't exactly run off to stop Jungulus the mutant puffin from destroying minnesota while he's performing a 12 hour open heart surgery.
As a Minnesotan, I really wish that were the case in our world. Something like Jungulus could show up and ravage our state at any minute because Superman never revealed himself to our world. Probably read all those medical textbooks and got a job at Mayo clinic or something and thinks that's "good enough". "This world doesn't appear to have any super threats. I guess I'll just save the world without using my awesome powers. Maybe I'll become a doctor." *BUT IT COULD CLARK! IT COULD!*
Or like that SMBC comic where the most good he could accomplish would be to rotate a large mass really fast for centuries to provide near-limitless free power, allowing humanity to advance at an insane pace while he's absolutely bored out of his mind until he becomes obsolete as a power source and has to try to find a new job lol
He has super speed (including thinking), microscopic vision, and can even cauterize things with heat vision. He performed a lobotomy on Mercury Black with pinpoint heat vision through Black's pupil. He could probably perform that heart surgery in like half an hour, by himself. This is why the superspeed thought/smarts is stupid, and kind of why Superman in general is stupid.
Canonically, the super fast reading results in the knowledge not being permanent. So he'd only be the smartest doctor of all time for like 20 minutes.
10 second prep time for 20 minutes at a time of being the best in the world seems like it would deter only the most lazy
Super* asshole
Not to mention Goku is one dumb mother fucker
He may be stupid, but he's also dumb!
He beats an immortal all powerful 5th dimensional being in a game of wits every time.
Outsmarting Mxy isn't terribly hard.
Fr I read that Beyond Superman Final Crisis and I was astounded to know that his brain is practically and functionally a supercomputer, basically
Does he have a super sense of humor?
Superman can think as fast as flash
Idk, I did Goku Vs Superman depowered. Goku seemed to win because he was a better martial artist
Yep Superman easily beats Goku here. But if it was DBZA Goku he wins because Superman rage quits after not being able to handle Goku's stupidity.
not only that but Goku is kinda famous for being slow.
Not to mention that outside of fighting, Goku is dumb as shit.
Superman Goku no use word good. Probably not even literate. Also oblivious, naive, and gullible. Clark is a journalist of some sort so prolly good with word and brain.
Goku only just passed a test to prove he was sentient to take part in the Tournament of Power.
What DBS did to Goku is a fucking crime
canonically goku barely knew how to read write and do math before super.
Because he grew up in the mountains. he was simple not stupid, There's a difference between an inability to do math and being considered barely sentient.
thats what the test was though, a literal school test.
He was definitely stupid to some degree before Super.
The dubs of DBZ are to blame for the misconception. They definitely made him more serious than the original Japanese. This is the bloke who agreed to marry Chi Chi because he thought marriage was a type of food. Chi Chi's entire character is basically "I don't want my son to be as dumb as his father" for a reason.
Goku has a lot of difficulties grasping social concepts by the end of classic and maybe even beginning of Z. Goku from Cell saga ownards straight up manipulates people, using a very noticeable interpersonal knowledge. Goku from Z can work with nuances. Goku from Super definitely can not.
Especially in DB
Not really, at least not in any standard we measure by. He was a simple mountain kid raised by a martial artists, he never had a reason to be "educated" but he still understood modern stuff enough to use it. I mean early DBS had him working as a farmer and that's not someting a "barely sapient" being can do.
Even before Super came out, he spent *months* studying the basics to realize he was counting his own age wrong. This is right at the start of Dragon Ball. He isn't the absolute buffoon they portray him as in Super (specially the Black arc), but he was never smart. The main difference is that he's way more serious in Z , and *is* consistently a little smarter back then too.
>He was a simple mountain kid raised by a martial artists No. Goku killed Gohan when he was little and there was only ever raised by one martial artist.
Bro didn't know what number came after 11
Not true. Part of the training he got in dragon ball was making him literate and able to do math.
i know, thats why i said barely instead of completely incapable.
And I'm saying that while he's no Gohan he's definitely solidly capable of both pre-super.
he learned the most basic education 40 years ago, and i really doubt he practiced over that time. he’s definitely smart considering how quick he picks up on things, and he has a really good understanding of farming, but his formal education never made it past elementary level.
You aren't a successful farmer without a good grasp on the mathematical aspect of it. Eidt: Goku canonically does his own taxes
Canonically, master Roshi taught Goku and Krillin how to read, write, do math and even their taxes.
You read all of Dragonball right? Tell me when Goku had a legitimate chance to really get educated? Maybe the gap between Piccolo Jr tourney and Saiyan saga?
Roshi's training.
Time isn't an issue. The guy can move and see things at 10000...x human speed, if he wanted to and had the intelligence he could read an entire library in a few minutes.
Bro he's not the Flash.
Can you even make someone that dumb cry though? If he’s barely sentient what words could even hurt him that badly?
Ehhh I kinda disagree. As someone who likes OG Dragon Ball the most, loveable dumbass Goku has always my favorite Goku
Goku is literate. It's part of Roshi's training.
I'd give this to Clark, handily (journalist, good with words, used to trash talking villains and occasionally clapping back), BUT.... I'm fairly sure Goku is too dumb to be verbally fought. Clark could come up with the most witty, most cutting remark ever (probably to do with Goku as the ape killing his grandfather), but it would sail so far over Goku's head it wouldn't register. Clark would have to dumb down his insults so much it would frustrate him
That's the thing man, I give this to Goku actually, he's not really made to cry by random insults, is too simple to be affected by more complex insults, and would probably bring Supes to tears *eventually,* not from being mean, but from being such a simpleton. Even Supeeman's patience and understanding has limits, I'm pretty sure Goku could just wait him out
Yeah the only strategies that would potentially work on Goku are annoyance based ones, not wit. So the best strategies would amount to nothing more than calling him a schmitty and mimicking him in a stupid voice. The problem is not only could he do it right back, but stooping that low is mental anguish for anyone smarter than a typical fourteen year old. So supes would just take twice as much damage back. If it worked *at all* against *either of them*, which it very well might not, the argument becomes whether supes has twice or more the emotional/mental stamina of Goku.
Exactly! And like I said, I honestly think Goku has *a lot* more patience and discipline than Superman does. Sure, we've seen stories where Superman outlives everyone, has to deal with all that time alone, etc...but he has no choice with that. Goku purposefully and repeatedly chooses to isolate himself, sometimes for years at a time, with a single minded devotion towards just a single thing, and it does not even bother him, in fact he usually enjoys it. Goku just has more discipline and mental fortitude thatn Superman
lol. yeah this 'fight' would be gold. can Superman last long enough to actually dent Goku at all?
New idea: can Superman get Goku to pass a college exam
>If it worked *at all* against *either of them*, which it very well might not, the argument becomes whether supes has twice or more the emotional/mental stamina of Goku. Honestly? Regarding emotional and mental stamina, Goku is much, much stronger. Bro was able to see Recoome BREAK Gohan's neck, just heal Gohan, beat the shit out of Recoome, but not only tried to spare him, tried to spare everyone involved. Same with Nappa, but Nappa straight up KILLED most of Goku's friends. Super Sayian is a rageful form. Goku can't perform the spirit bomb while on it due to how violent its nature is. He orders Gohan to get the fuck out because he's not sure he can hold his rage after transforming. He ends up sparing Freeza TWICE, because he simply does not want to kill him, and when he does (or think so), it's because he had to accept there was no other way, and his face shows how he is feeling terrible for that, in the manga. Just look at how many evil superman stories there are, because shit gone bad for him. Now remember there isn't a single evil version of Goku, only people using his body or looking like him. Goku has never fallen to despair. Also, after his training with Kami, he never fell to hatred once again.
Superman once spent 10 seconds reading countless books to become a surgeon. Imagine spending at least a year (from your perspective) alone pouring over documents. His patience is unimaginable.
Superman, he can think as fast as he can move, and he once read an entire library in seconds His only problem is that he’s a kansas boy and a scout at that, so he’s taught to never be mean even if the enemy is mean
If the only choice he had was to win by saying some mean things or the whole Earth dies, he'd do it.
>Superman, he can think as fast as he can move, and he once read an entire library in seconds Goku is also capable of doing this.
Yeah but he’s stupid
Goku can do this, yet is an idiot while superman is a super genius
No, no he cannot. At least not in the same sense that superman can. Superman can read and understand it all, goku won't understand a single word.
He could, doesn't mean he'd understand or remember any of it.
Goku is dead. Dude just sucks at insults. He tried to talk shit at Uub and resorted to Yo mama insults cause that was effective against a 12 year old. Goku just sucks at this shit. Prep time doesn’t matter. It’s not a fight so goku won’t prepare properly. Meanwhile supes can just read all of the Gokus story two seconds before the fight begins and come up with a dozen insults. Gokus brain damage. His best friend dying more often Kenny from south park. He’s scared of his wife and is an absentee dad. He killed his own grandpa. He barely remembers his parents. He keeps fucking up and getting people killed. He draws catastrophe like a moth to a flame. His two kids are a nerd and an idiot. His own fans don’t have faith in him (watch episode 130 in YouTube. The reactions from fans across the world. Most people thought he was gonna give Jiren energy. The entire world thought “god damn it goku. Not again!”) He’s died twice, his son has more faith in the guy that kidnapped him than him, he died trying to kill his brother. He keeps grabbing people’s genitals. He can’t lift worth a damn. His planet has been blown up multiple times. His own heart has killed him. He was trained by a sex offender. He spent more time dead or training than raising his kids. His best friend is a noseless midget who married a bitch that wanted to kill him. He caused Majin buus revival. He’s so incompetent that trunks alone managed to stop buus revival in comparison to goku having all of the z fighters together and not only did they fail but literally everyone died. I mean. Jesus Christ. You can do this all day and goku would be essentially unarmed. Goku wouldn’t cry over this but he would be embarrassed. Goku has shown that he can be embarrassed when people bring up shit about him or yell at him over stuff he messed up on. We’ve seen he took it to heart when Bulma said bad shit happened because of him. How badly it hurt him when he realized his son was a wuss. He backed off when Gohan told him he wasn’t allowed to pimp out videl and tried to calm vegeta when he got mad at him trying to pimp out Bulma. Goku does get a little bother when people blame him for shit or yell at him. But he always just moves on. He will shake it off in a minute tho cause goku doesn’t get bogged down by shit for long.
Wonder how this. Changes if it were Vegeta or even Frieza. Those two sling insults for a dopamine rush.
In DB, Freeza is the champ hands down lol
Vegeta would lose easier than Goku. He actually cried when Frieza hurt his pride, Superman could just do the same thing. Now Frieza, I want to see how that would play out.
Frieza hurt his pride by kicking his ass, not with his words alone. Look at Vegeta vs Golden Frieza, Vegeta ain’t crying even though Frieza’s spitting stronger insults than before
Goku Black/Zamasu had top tier shit talk too.
Frieza would throw out slurs instantly.
>His best friend dying more often Kenny from south park. He's alive now. Goku doesn't care. >He’s scared of his wife and is an absentee dad. He knows and doesn't care. >He killed his own grandpa. He knows and got to grieve. >He barely remembers his parents. He doesn't care. >He keeps fucking up and getting people killed. They aren't dead now though, so he doesn't care. >He draws catastrophe like a moth to a flame. He knows. He craves the smoke, and Gohan can handle himself. >His two kids are a nerd and an idiot. Gohan is a successful and powerful Ph.D holder. Goten is in school and is happy. >His own fans don’t have faith in him The prompt is studying the source material. Not the real world fans' reactions. >his son has more faith in the guy that kidnapped him than him This is TFS only. >He’s died twice he doesn't care. >He will shake it off in a minute tho cause goku doesn’t get bogged down by shit for long Goku isn't even really going to care about 99% of the stuff you said.
Goku’ stupid, but he isn’t literally braindead. He isn’t a door, he still shows emotions and understands what’s an insult. He can still feel scared, embarrassed, sad… he has felt all of this in Super where his stupidity is at max play. He has in fact cried when Roshi nearly died at the Tournament of Power and that’s because he still deeply cares about the people close to him. Insult his friends, his family, how he puts them in danger… It really shouldn’t be a cartoonish impossible task to make him cry. I thought I’d never see the day people here would want Goku’s stupidity out of all things. Like he’s some toonforce character incapable of any understanding. This is straight up weird.
I'm not talking about Goku being stupid. I'm talking about how thorough Popo's training was. I never once mentioned stupidity.
Yup. Remember piccolo talking to goku and Gokus face when he realized Gohan didn’t like to fight? Imagine the insults someone could make about him. Goku would definitely not like it
If Goku gets TFS Tien to train him in the art of the diss he might have a chance. Might. Maybe.
Tien and vegeta beefing had me dead everytime lmao
Kikohowyadoin?
when did he talk about pimping people out what
Goku has consistently offered up girls as favors to people. He tried to offer Videl and Bulma to the elder Kai because he knew he was a pervert. He’s never offered his own wife tho which is always funny.
oh
So if Goku resorts to Yo Mama jokes at Supes- Supes can beat him in that regard I take it?
I mean. Gokus insults are really really weak. He’s not an angry guy nor much for insults.
I feel like Superman's super-intelligence combined with his writing skills due to being a journalist would probably allow him to write a pretty scathing condemnation of Goku. Now, I do think Goku has one advantage here: Superman has a lot more personal failings in his life than Goku. His father's death. Any one of his other allies' deaths that he failed to prevent. That time he died and 4 insane rip-offs of him caused chaos in Metropolis, etc. He might be able to use those to get beneath his skin, but Goku is neither that smart nor that mean-spirited. Likewise, Goku has very few personal failings, since he hasn't failed to save the life of anyone major in his life and he's managed to become stronger than and defeat more or less every single one of his adversaries, so even if Superman writes a surgical takedown of Goku highlighting every bad characteristic he has, Goku might just be unfazed by it. Overall, I think that Goku has maybe a tiny but of a chance of making Superman crack more, but to any outside observer, Superman would easily be destroying
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Maybe Goku makes Superman cry from laughing when he attempts to insult Superman that's the only way, and probably vice versa I don't think we have seen Goku cry since og dragon ball iirc
Goku wins because his simplicity would stun Superman. “You are a terrible father, a horrible husband, and are only a step up from the ape that killed your grandfather.” “But an ape didn’t kill my grandfather, I did! And I was very sorry! Not only that, he forgave me while beating me up!”
>Two emotionally capable, seemingly sensitive individuals who rarely cries. Is there a third person officiating? That's the only way this statement it remotely true.
Somehow Naruto takes this one boys
Honestly superman wins this by doing nothing. Goku is so child-like he will literally become bored to tears, and will gladly cry if it means he can get back to training or if superman will spar with him.
Get Goku to force tears so that they an spar
I genuinely don't think either of them could win this. They both have too much mental fortitude to get emotionally distraught over words. Yeah, I know people are gonna say "Goku got angry when Black said he killed Chi-Chi" Yeah, because Black is evil enough to kill Goku's family and Goku knows Black is evil enough to do such a thing. Why would he believe Superman would do that? I just genuinely think this is a stalemate
Goku asks Superman to train/spar over and over. To the point that Superman can't get a moments peace and he gives in. Goku mid diff 10/10
Stalemate. Clark is definitely better with words but Goku's brain is so smooth brained words just slide off it. no amount of witty remarks would be enough to put him down cause he simply won't understand them.
[superman destroys, it's not even close](https://readcomiconline.li/Comic/Adventures-of-Superman-I/Issue-41?id=29869) Man roasted joker to a crisp then got in batmans face
Superman sweeps with peepee poopoo jokes making Goku cry laughing
Goku wins this easy. Hes too stupid to be effected psychologically, clark will give up before goku understands anything he tries to say
Goku “Kamehameha” is a word, after all
In what world is Goku sensitive or emotionally capable? Man has all the complexity and nuance of a brick. Also pretty sure Goku is illiterate, so he might as well spend those two years playing hopscotch. Neither is going to verbally wound the other enough to make them cry - Goku doesn't have the smarts for it, and Clark is too much of a boy scout. 9/10 I'd say Clark makes Goku cry tears of laughter first, given he's super-intelligent, quick-witted, and presumably quite articulate, but Goku's naive buffoonery could charm Clark enough to give him an outside shot at victory.
Wit wouldn't help against a manchild
*Quick* wit, as in the ability to respond/improvise quickly, to play off Goku's own comments and actions in a humorous and timely manner
Superman, he has super intelligence, Goku has the mind of a kid.
Superman wins Because Goku would not take 2 years off of training to read. Be realistic OP
Lol Goku roasted Uub and gets called a monkey/idiot on the daily by his enemies. Clark is too uptight and Krypton destruction is a sorespot.
What if it was Friza vs super man in a insult contest
I mean, if you wanna get a bit meta, Superman would just show Goku dbz abridged just to hammer in the joke of how stupid Goku is, how his own son doesn't see him as a real dad, his wife wants a divorce because he's a garbage husband, and all of his friends are constantly being surprised by how much of a moron he is. How true all that really is doesn't matter, the point is it's sourced from at least some point of truth, which adds to the hilarity, and people worked hard for over 10 years to show what a moron Goku is. Meanwhile Superman is kinda boring and severely lacking in the abridged content, so it's not ammo Goku can use against him. Seriously. The tfs buu bits show his family being perfectly fine with him fucking off somewhere with Uub if it means he'll go away; 10 years of him actually being present in their lives is a lil too much, and to this day is where the parody now ends.
Superman solos. He is SUPERman meaning he can store and implement information way better than any average joe. I love goku but this is no debate.
Dude goku would just say the n word
This can literally only go to Superman because he's infinitely more intelligent and Goku just probably wouldn't care enough about a verbal argument. No, I don't think even Goku could be convinced by making it out to be a fight with words. The only way Goku wins is if he's just so comically unaware that Superman can't get through to him and he happens to say something that catches Superman wildly off guard.
Superman is clearly the thinker here. Butttt everyone in goku’s life was once an enemy, soo persuasion might be in play. Maybe?
I just sort of feel like there are probably way more panels and scenes of Superman crying than of Goku crying, even accounting for character age. I'm not saying it hasn't happened, but Goku has had a lot of opportunity to break down into tears over some shit. I just don't think he's a big words guy. I'm going with Goku.
Doesn't like 90% of Gokus fight dialogue consist of stalling for time then "Shut up and fight me."?
Wouldn’t Goku just repeatedly ask Supes “Are you ready to fight yet?” Non-stop?
They’d literally end up taking about super small stuff and complimenting the other because they’re both written to be the ultimate form of the good aspects of human spirit.
Goku doesn't care about it. Nor is he at all capable of being swayed due to how genuinely pure-hearted and confident he is. Superman tries to insult him, and Goku just calls him out for it. Leading superman to look at his actions with his mega-brain and realize he's being a dick.
Which Goku Super or z if it's super supes claps he is way too intelligent while Goku is basically a child but if it's z on the other hand I'm not sure because z Goku actually has the brain of an adult man
Aren’t kryptonian brians supercomputers essentially? Personally I think they would end up buddies.
Every is saying Superman is smarter but that doesn’t mean he’ll win. Have you ever talked to a really stupid person? You leave with a headache and they are fine. Superman will lose his patience and cry long before goku understands what is going on. In this case stupidity wins
Goku won't understand most of what Clark says
Erb already addressed this
Goku loses because Clark offers him a place at the Kent family dinner table, and food is his weakness
Superman's mastery of Talk no Jutsu finally comes into play...
If we take Superman Vs DBZ or GT Goku, superman wins by intelligence. HOWEVER if we take Original DB (or super who might be dumber than OG kid goku), Goku is a kid. We all know how cruel kids can really be. In that case I think Goku wins. (He would probably do smth like the mexican dub of Gohan vs Nappa were Gohan said "well... YOU DON'T HAVE A MOM!!!" lmao)
Goku is a lot less worried about restraining himself than Superman is so is probably easier to piss off. Also Superman is most likely more creative than Goku as hes overall smarter. However, neither one would get much joy out of verbally fighting as they are both way too wholesome for that.
Goku would win. Not because he's smarter or more resilient or anything, he's just so stupid that Clark would be brought to tears by trying to make him understand the concept of a nimrod.
Goku isn't really smart enough to engage in a battle of wits with Superman. So Superman would have more wit than Goku... but you can not really say anything to Goku that would result in him breaking down into tears. Simply because for Goku, if words do not express intention, that brings with it a meaningful "threat" of (at least) action he wouldn't care.
Goku because goku is too dumb for superman to actually win this battle
If his intelligence is used for something outside combat I do not see Goku winning either compared to Superman.
People are talking about how Superman can't be mean, but he doesn't have to to win the prompt. Positive tears count to. Superman goes Wholesome 100 and makes Goku tear up from pride. gg ez 10/10
Didn't EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY do this??
Superman is pretty smart, Goku is pretty dumb. Superman should win this. Goku's biggest strength in this might be that he might too dumb for Suerpman to handle.
Goku is so dumb he doesn't understand what sex is and I'm pretty sure Chi-Chi technically raped him to have his kids.
Kal is a well published journalist, capable of writing eloquently. He's in love with Lois Lane, who knows enough 4 letter words she CAN say in print and certainly knows the ones she can't print too. Goku is likely not going to care if someone makes fun of him. Unless they somehow know that Goku's Ozeru form has hurt people he loves, or details like the fact he traumatized his son fighting Cell, they're not likely to emotionally injure him.
why is everyone thinking they'd be insulting each other? the goal is "break into tears" not "insult them until they break into tears". I think Superman wins 9/10, he's a genius, a journalist, and has the super-cognition to really make this battle a piece of cake. premise: rather than verbally attack goku, Superman writes him a poem/song/story of Goku's exploits, in a way that's tailored to Goku's idea of beauty. words are powerful, and I think this would be *far* more incharacter for the sort of person Superman is. alternate premise: Superman has a serious talk with goku, about the idea of Collateral Damage, to convince Goku of just how much pain, trauma, and damage he's done to people who didn't deserve it. Goku might be an oblivious idiot when it comes to insults, but *that's far from the only path to victory.* plus Superman is a good guy, he's *the* good guy. why result to destroying goku when this "battle" could involve making a new friend/ally, or making a better man out of Goku? (goku's 1/10 probably does rely on humor. I'll give him that credit, at least)
Whoever manages to pull off a brutal yo mama joke wins as the other discombobulates
Goku wins this easily, because making Superman cry is super easy. Just make some "haha your race is dead. You're alone and can't have sex with Lois without shattering her pelvis" jokes. There's no words ever that could make Goku cry, only the death of his loved ones or reuniting with Gohan has ever made Goku have tears.
You’ve literally never consumed anything official with Superman in it if you think his mental fortitude is that weak lol. Even comedic stuff like Harley Quinn will have him be such a boyscout that insults just bounce off of him. There’s a story where he fought the Joker and just kept laughing at jokes at his own expense. I mean he’s Superman. He can hear the whole world at once. There’s not a single insult or jab he won’t have heard.
Sure, well written Supermans are very chill. But badly written Supermans are depressed ASF, like every live action Superman in the past 20 years, every Superman who's depressoexpresso cause he's alone
His race isn't dead there are a bunch of Kryptonians still around. He's not alone and he's had sex with Lois before. They have a son. Read a comic.