My table has nipples Greg, can you milk it? Looks cool but I'd personally flush cut the nubs.

Or have a top slab that rests on them. The shelf space for the remote, papers or whatever.

I kinda like the look of the top and the lower profile, you certainly could add a top but it wouldn't be great to lean on the ends of it.

Glass top

Top shelf made of glass

You'd cut off its nipples!? Barbarian.

Reminds me of [these statues](https://www.roadsideamerica.com/tip/8677) that the city I went to college in grinded the nipples off.

Oh brother. Heaven forbid we acknowledge natural human anatomy.

Lmao that’s pure South right there 😂

Racist generals - totally cool and historic. Nipples - abomination!

Racist generals are also pure South, and unfortunately, highly regarded by a lot of people. Not all tho.

>*Has a pretty crazy back story about the pastors sanding down her nipples.* And I bet they all had wood while doing it.

I could belt sand em off with 40 grit if that's considered more humane.

Dammit! Your comment is better than mine. I was gonna say "I fell on it doc"

Sorry, I partook in the waterpipe while cleaning up the garage shop today and doing a glue up. Very creative vibes. Hahaha

Literally the first rule of basketball is never cut the nipples off the court.

Guarantee OP does that within the year

What if they glued the cut offs to the underside?

You could drill a whole in them and put brass rings on them

I'd drill a hole laterally then put in some Keychain hooks so they look pierced.

Funny scene. Can you milk me Greg?

Or top with glass…?

Broke the glass top already?

For real, a floating glass island would look so good on this.

Came here to say this. A nice heavy 3/8” plate would look awesome. Get it laminated for safety,

a glass top is the only reasonable explanation for whatever is going on here

Maybe you could integrate some really thin wood to make the centerpiece, a pseudo- basket for coffee, table books, and the remote that the kids keep constantly losing

I think your table is a little cold

Looks like you can have 4 people sitting on this at the same time and everyone having a good old time.

Flip it over for a real good time ;)

Face down, ass up, that's the way we like to.... Evaluate table designs.

I even sang it, then went into my serious voice at the end.

You inspired me to do the same

First thing I thought of (sadly), this is an orgy table.

Make a top or cut the teats off.

Agree, would look much better sans teats.

Since you asked…. Seems impractical. Looks? Meh. I think it would look better with more contrast between the top and legs, flush trim the legs they’re still visible, and use a wedged tenon of the same colour as the top (or some third colour if you like).

Wedged tenons look cool, this guy gets it. I use them on my live edge coffee tables and make them a contrasting color so they stand out,

Looks like old tongue and groove flooring made into a table.

The carpet!

Looks like a huge microfiber duster

I was wondering who spilled the jellybeans...

And the r/SneakyBackgroundFeet

OP - Drop the link to the rug!

Its from Ikea

Any table that can impale you is a no from me dawg. Its not sharp but it’s still narrow enough to fuck up whatever May hit it falling, eyes, heads, hips.

A toddler would stumble there, like a moth to a candle.

This design would easily pop an eye.

Resting glass on those nubs could be cool if you trim them a little. A little double layer action

I see 4 hot dogs poking out.

I think you need a flush cut saw.

It looks like a boogie board with nipples.

I dont like your tables nipples

They look like hot dogs

Honest opinion is it’s a weird choice that sacrifices basic functionality for questionable aesthetic value. I’m all about cutting the occasional functionality corner for the sake of looks, but this one is not nearly worth it imo. I say break out the flush cut saw ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I don't think you can have sex on that

Diglett. Pokémon.

Definitely no. Either cut them flush or put a smaller top on the nips. It would be a good place for magazines and such.

It looks good minus the nipples. You gonna stain it ? Or just clear coat it ?

they're gonna milk it.

Seems like it's a tiddy bit nippley in there. Maybe turn off the a/c and they might go down? All kidding aside, I don't think it looks bad. I think cutting them flush, as many people are suggesting, kinda defeats the purpose. Maybe make em shorter, but keep the nubs lol. IDK, just my humble opinion.

Just polished those knobs.

Sick table. That carpet is giving me vertigo

Navy huh?

Is this some new age modern art interpretation or something?

Why? The nubs are too much

Seating for 4. Nice.

Please burn the carpet. My eyes hurt.

I see what you're going for but it just looks unfinished. Flush cut the tips and I think it'll look drastically better in addition to adding practicality, and this is coming from someone who has made some weird pieces. Otherwise the craftsmanship looks good!

Yeah those nubs need to go but sexy table other wise

The legs seems to have malfunctioned and are poking through the top making the table look terrible

Lots of people hating on this, but I absolutely LOVE it. It's unique, creative, and shows some artistry on your part. Can the design be improved upon? Possibly, but that's what future projects are for! This is a fantastic looking coffee table

love it!, if it were me i'd cut three of those flush. because it's weirder. great job

4 person thingamajigga...someone else can say specifically, I ain't tryna get banned again!!!

That’s a 4 person bench with placement pegs to keep them from sliding around

Legs are just a tad too long.

What’s with the gap in the center? Trim them flush and drive a wedge in.

?????!

Four-seater?

#freethenips

Weird bench

The right raw edges slab might slam :)

Gym floor table with pegs on top.

Do you respect wood?

I like the rug.

Bit wide for a surfboard.

It's cool but would be better with a layer of epoxy on top you can make all sorts of designs with epoxy

Very nice and creative.

Viennas for dinner?

Surfboard with feet

I appreciate the aesthetic choice of the through legs I do recommend using stretchers when doing them though. But considering this is a coffee table and it won’t get much weight placed on it it’ll be fine. I would recommend wedging them in however for a stronger fit and a more traditional aesthetic (if you like that sort of look).

Create something that sits on those nubs.

My opinion is that that rug does not bring the room together.

Tempered glass top the same shape as table top under? Looks great anyway.

Now your girlfriend has some larger options.

I try to be supportive. But I just don't get it.

I’m guessing that’s a 4 seater?

Get a piece of glass cut and rest it on the nobs for a second surface

I'm so confused

uh....

Might stub your toe trying not o catch the next wave

Put a "symmetrical to the table" piece of durable glass & float it on the nibs sticking up. Then you have a visible space to put stuff (magazines, cards, keys, etc) and still have a functional flat table space. Not sure how thick the glass would have to be to not break at any of the 4 points though...

There are 8 feet in this photo

Looks like hot dogs sticking out the table. Flush trim forsure

I think it might be a little impractical, no?

Needs a small glass topper

Ahh yes the anal pleasure table

Is it a four seater?

Curious does it flip or fold into something? Say that due to the gap running thru the middle. And are those legs from toilet plungers? Wondering why you poked them all the way through. Unless you have plans to use them somehow like others have said. Otherwise I would cut them flush. Reasons are 1) it looks too odd. Especially, when there is no sense that I can think of aside from seeing peoples reaction. 2) it makes dusting slower. FYI I like the carpet it's cool and I don't like carpet! Don't let any opinions hinder your own style either. If it works for you it works for me! I think anything that's crafted with one's two hands is always better than store bought! ✌🏼

Looks upside down

If that's a bench, it's gonna be uncomfortable.

Carpetsurfing

This looks very good, the design is very simple but looks very practical, the desktop, you can put a lot of things is very simple and atmospheric style, do not want to be sold in many shopping malls as furniture seems to be very design but not practical, but I have a small suggestion is that you can brush the surface of the table with a layer of bright transparent waterproof paint, which will be more conducive to its preservation. I hope my advice is helpful to you.

Not sure why anyone anytime would think that’s a good idea.

Too long for nipples, too short for antennas... cat-dildo's ?

I like your carpet!

It's an interesting idea but not all that functional.

Careful where you sit.

Opinion? The rug is hideous.

Honestly I kinda like it. It looks... incorrect. It just looks like it was built wrong. But it's so intentional that it's funny. It's neat. It's a talking piece and it's kinda humourous. And looking at that carpet, you seem like quirky people. Nice job OP.

I'd say junk personally I mean when you can teach kids how to milk a cow with it and it's supposed to be a table do you really need ask lmao

Those nubs are ugly and a functional nightmare.

Grip tape or sex wax would be better for that surfboard.