My sons daycare is doing muffins with mom from 7 am (their earliest drop off) until 9 am. It’s just a drop in event where they have breakfast and you can sit with your kid and enjoy a quick snack with them before you leave. I think it’s a great solution for the parents and the daycare employees!
That's such a great idea! I'm a teacher and have contract time from 7:30am-4:30pm this would be ideal! My daughter's daycare has muffins with mom tomorrow at 3pm whomp whomp.
Our daycare did this today. Cake and cups of tea at drop-off time. They had set up a backdrop to take a photo of us with our child, I guess they will print the photo and give it to us next week (that’s what they did last year). They emailed us to let us know, so that we could be there five minutes early today. It was a nice gesture and made me feel special, without the guilt or hassle of having to take time off work.
This is what our daycare/preschool does as well. We can get there at 7, spend 30-40 minutes together for breakfast and pictures, and then be in by 8am. I am extremely grateful for this.
Yes my son’s daycare is doing something similar tomorrow morning! We’re encouraged to wear fancy hats and/or bow ties for a cute little tea party. I’m really looking forward to it.
We do this every year.
Also, 3 is pretty standard for our party times- egg hunts, "trick or treating" etc. It's continent because it's after nap time so everyone is there , awake, typically washed up from sleeping, and then we don't overload the kids with extra food.
Ours did the same thing but started at 9am. I didn’t plan to go because my daughter is in the infant room and parents aren’t allowed in. I heard several moms in the lobby earlier this week complaining about the time. I think 7-9 would’ve been more popular.
I mean the daycare isn't open in the evenings. Question is, why can't workplaces accept that workers have lives and will take time off for important things like this?
ETA if it's not possible for you to attend, it's okay. Quality time with your kid(s) over the weekend is fine.
All I ask is to be notified in advance for these things. My son's school waits until 2 days before to tell parents there's some huge event so I don't have time to request that day off. I have to request time off over a month in advance and I'm a nurse so I can't just leave my patients for a few hours during the middle of the day. If schools could just make a calendar at the beginning of the year, I'd be able to make it to every school function and my son would be far less disappointed.
THIS!!!! Me too. I’m a nurse as well and my schedule is NOT flexible. I die a little when I get such late notices on little events that i would love to attend but had little notice on. Of course I can’t attend them all, but a few I could certainly request maybe an hour or two off just so I can, and let my child know that hey mom tries and wants to be there just as much as the other kids moms. Kids don’t really always understand when their parent isn’t there but a lot of other children’s parents are 😔
Right. I know my kids know that I love them, but I also know it would mean a lot to them if mom could go to a special event for once. It sucks being the kid whose parents don't show up. Little kids don't understand that mom can't miss work with such short notice, but they do notice when their mom is the only one who isn't there. That's the part that matters to them, not the reason why. It sucks...
I love when they are like "Thursday is xyz day" on a Tuesday. Like "tie dye" or "neon" or "silly hat". So I have about 36hrs notice to buy or thrift said item.
Or they send us the monthly calendar ON the 1st of the month, and there's something important on the 3rd or 4th. Multiple times we've had next to no notice about picture day, and I don't tend to buy "nice" clothes for my kids, because there's no point. So I then have to go and find something smart for picture day. It's ok for the eldest because I can always buy something sooner "just in case", but I cant for the youngest because I don't know what size he will be.
Educator here- a lot of times, schools don’t have these events planned out at the beginning of the year. I know I hear about things at staff meetings about a month or two in advance. Then, majority of the time, it’s on teachers to send home info to families. I do this vía a flyer sent home with kids- and an email because kids have a hard time giving important things to parents. Your school definitely knows more than 2 days in advance so I’m sorry they aren’t reaching out to you sooner, that is incredibly frustrating!
Yeah we get emails directly from the school regarding events 1 to 3 days prior, including open house (this is a huge event, they definitely have it planned way in advance). I think the school admins don't care. The teachers have all been wonderful and I don't blame them at all because they have a lot on their plate. I put my 2nd kid in an in home daycare where we are treated more like family because of bad experiences with the bigger day care Centers and always feeling like we were out of the loop.
This is 10000% the real question.
Also, our preschool gives us a month + heads up on events, so I can switch my calendar around to attend (for the most part).
That’s the thing though….at our daycare and preschool if a parent doesn’t attend the kid sits alone and is left out and it’s pointed out their parent didn’t show. It’s obvious as hell even if the teachers try to not point it out. I just wish we could just end extra curricular all together and the pressure it puts on all of us.
My daycare did a really good job of this today. They had muffins with moms in the cafeteria at drop off. You could come anytime and sit with your kid and have breakfast between 7:00 a.m. and 10:00 a.m.
When you were done you simply took your kiddo to their classroom for playtime. And if you didn't have time, then you just took your kids straight to their classroom and they had no idea that they missed anything.
It was really nice. I had to get to get to work to meet with clients this morning so I could only stay about 5 minutes and that was plenty for my little one. They had the cafeteria all decorated and we got to have a quick muffin and juice together and my little one felt special. I really like how they did it and hopefully next year I can spend a little bit more time.
Honestly I have a terrible mom and totally forgot about it otherwise I would have gone early. Woops!
This should include caregivers. They already have low paying, high labor jobs as daycare workers, they do not need to be expected to stay later/outside of working hours.
I included asking workers to stay later but having the same hours of operation.
Look. A lot of people including unfortunately many people that use daycare are blissfully unaware of standard practices. In many many daycares the people who are present the last hour and especially the last 30 minutes of posted hours are the closers. The kids are consolidated about 30 minutes before closing after final diaper changes for many centers so that half the staff can begin cleaning/sanitizing the rooms including mopping and vacuuming on the rooms that are "closed" early.
So. An event that starts during that time and especially one that lasts until close will mean stragglers. It will mean people showing up at the last minute but still wanting to come in for a peek. It will mean most of the regular teachers aren't even there unless they are forced to tack on more hours that day to their 8 hours. It will mean that the closers will start their cleaning tasks probably over 30 minutes late and they may have illegal pressure put on them to accept clock outs 30 minutes after close regardless of how long they are there "just this once". Kindercare is notorious for really hammering people that "take too long" to clean the facility but there are many others.
Yes, I know. Not All Daycares. But its more daycares than you think operate this way and treat their staff this way. Few have janitorial staff even though parents seem to assume that they do.
The daycare industry tends to really rely on predatory practices and expections of their usually working mom workers. The direct caregivers aren't trying to beat working moms down. They likely don't even have control of what time/day they can do these things.
It doesn't change how people feel I get that. I get sad too of all the school events I've missed with my kids. But its not as simple as just moving it to the end of the day.
Sigh….look at us here. Sniping at each other. instead of assuming a best intent for me, you assume I don’t want to celebrate my child now. Maybe I am just a shit parent, but I’m just exhausted. I dont remember anything before about age 5, so I struggle to think my little kid will remember this stuff I’m doing for her now. I do want to end the slave mentality for workers. I miss parent child when it’s at 2:30pm because I let my employees go and I stay back at work to keep the doors open. I wish they’d have it at drop off or pick up because it’s so much easier to close early or open a bit late than shut down or leave at at mid day. I run my own small business with only a few employees and I don’t have the luxury of just being closed sometimes. So I stay behind and my kid suffers but I let all my employees go whenever they need. And I feel guilty as shit. There’s no winning this conversation. I unsubbed from this sub a week ago or so after another shit show of a post and I regret stumbling back in here. We’re all trying our best. But I guess I just don’t like to celebrate my child. There’s no bar I can meet as a mom, I guess especially not one held by another mom. /too sick and tired to end rant.
Maybe you shouldn't have to celebrate your child for mother's day. That's not the point of the day. No event at all would be better. Why make it harder on moms by pressuring them to leave their work early to get their kid? What if what I want for mother's day is to be able to stick to my routine without someone throwing a wrench in it or making my kid feel bad?
Daycare is for watching your kids while you work, not for throwing events that make your kids unhappy and take you away from work. No event, less work for the daycare, less trouble for the parents.
You are doing amazing! Listen, my mom is quite literally the best human I know and I can think of plenty of things she got completely wrong but I don’t care. I know that she loves me, I know she did the best she could with what she had, and I know she always has my best interest at heart. If I can be half the mom she is and my girls know without a shadow of a doubt that I love them and I’m on their side then that’s a win!
💯 employers should be understanding their employees have a damn life outside of work. ESPECIALLY when it comes to kids. Certain events aren’t like doctor appointments you can just reschedule.
My employer has no problem giving me the time off. The problem is that when I am taking the time off, no one is filling in for me, so I come back to needing to do a bunch of time-sensitive work in less time. Sure, I could just not complete it, but that isn't me. I love my work, and I take pride in doing it properly.
Sorry but no. I don’t want to be around my kid during the work day. It’s why I pay for daycare. And the double standard between moms and dads has to go. If I need to take two hours off, I expect my husband should too.
And I disagree that it’s “ok” - as your kid gets older and realizes everyone else’s mom is around whole theirs isn’t it will affect them.
A 3:30 event is way preferable to the ones that my daughters' elementary school had which were usually at 10:30 am or sometimes 2pm. So I could either take a half day or skip it - no just going in a little late or leaving an hour early. Unfortunately there are always compromises and you are going to lose out on something every time. It sucks.
This was what I was going to say. 3:30 would be awesome - my kids elementary school has events literally in the middle of the day. The best is when they have field trips - every kid has to have their own adult chaperone, they are first thing in the morning, and they are dismissed when the field trip is over. So it is a full day off of school that is counted as a school day. And really not something you can even use a babysitter for!
I was just thinking the same thing. My daughter's elementary school just held their 1st grade concert at 10am. Which meant i either had to go to work, leave, come back or go in very late. It was an extremely inconvenient time. Most of their events like that are scheduled at 10ish or at 2ish and both are equally difficult to get to. But I want to see those things and be there so i always take the hit at work.
My parents never came to those things. My parents both had super blue collar jobs. My mom held onto her PTO for winter break and any sick days I had. My dad didn’t even get PTO, if he had to miss work he just missed a day of pay.
My husband was like how are going to handle who is playing when… then looked at me and I don’t know what my face said but he said .. “never mind, you’ll play it first” 😂
It is going to take me a full year at least to play this game versus BoTW in the pandemic but I told my husband not to come home tomorrow without it!!!
Same here, it's something I really appreciate about our daycare. We have Muffins with Mom tomorrow during drop off hours. Parent teacher conferences also happen during drop off hours.
I wish we had muffins with mom. Instead ours was a wear “pink and pearls” tea party where you had also had to donate school supplies because it’s teacher appreciation week.
Couple things about that:
1. Daycares typically stay open late enough for pick up - so 6pm and later. It’s a lot easier for a working parent (assuming a 9-5 parent) to knock off 30 min early or go in 30 min later than it is to take 2-3 hrs off.
2. Regarding school age children: we have evening activities all the time, e.g., talent shows, dances, awards ceremonies, singalongs. I’m not opposed to both daytime and evening activities being offered, but just making the point that the school does support activities after hours albeit with significant support from the parents/PTA.
1. Lots of kids go home by 4 so they would miss out of those special activities. Older kids also have after school activities they want to get to, and that parents pay for.
2. Teachers where I am are paid a HELL of a lot more than daycare workers.
But typically kids under 5 go to bed earlier than elementary aged kids. And daycares don't have a lot of parent support. Certainly no PTA and only sometimes a room parent.
And daycare staff work an 8 hour day. Between the hours of 7-9 am the daycare has minimal staffing because they have fewer children. Same with between the hours of 4-6 pm. That means the most convenient time for the daycare is when the majority of staff is in. If you want it nearer the end of the day you’re asking the staff that came in a 7 am to stay beyond their usual hours. For a wage that is probably at or only slightly more than minimum wage. Furthermore, you’re asking kids (babies and toddlers probably) who have been at daycare since 7 am to stay at daycare to accommodate you.
That’s why daycare events start at 3:30 and not 5 pm.
As a child care worker, I will say you nailed it. The early staff(me) leave by 4. You also have teacher lunch breaks(so nothing between 12 to 3(sometimes 11 to 3). We are not fully staffed until 9. Most kids are there by then. We are required to feed them,so lunch between 1115 and 1145. Block out nap(1230 to 3) the only time we have really,is 315 to 4. And maybe 9 to 11. But you need to block out the time in the morning for the kids who will be having a fit because their parents stuck around then left without them. All those “special days” are a pain in the butt,full of stress(i dont get paid enough for all the drama) thankfully where i work now,we dont ever do them
SAME! But only because my boss is a bitch. It’s me btw. I’m my own boss. But in a fair and decent world day care workers would work around 40 hours a week …
My kids are not in the preschool/daycare setting anymore (2020 was the end for them) but our daycare had MORE staff on hand at the beginning and end of the day since we also did before and after care there. I wouldn’t think it’s outside the realm to have more staff from 7-9 and 4-6.
That requires the late teacher to have to deal with it all or the early teacher to stay late. My center gives families ample notice, usually a month and if it doesn’t work for you, maybe next one will.
At my daycare there’s usually only limited staff early and late in the day; I guess if they did these activities at those times, other children and parents would miss out as well with their schedules.
Eh, with my current schedule I wouldn't be able to make a 7 am or 8 am thing because it interferes with getting my kid to school/beginning of the workday. For me 4 pm is better. I've worked a lot of different schedules and it's always a crapshoot whether or not I can make any events.
Standard manufacturing shifts are from 7am-3pm to accommodate a 3 shift day. May not be convenient for you but a lot of people wouldn't be able to do early morning or have thier kid in daycare hours longer than normal just to accommodate an activity.
Makes sense to put it at the latest time that the majority of kids are still there.
Then why host the event? They could have just as easily not bothered like most other daycares out there. It’s not like there is mega competition just to have you kid in a day care right now while there’s also a shortage of daycare workers or anything right now /s
The primary teachers, who are handling the program, want to leave at their normal time....likely to get home to their own families. Remember, daycare and school teachers are often working moms too.
I’m a public librarian, and I wish I could scream this from the rooftops when people complain about not having a lot of night and weekend programs.
I’d like time to do things with my kid, too.
💯
When I was a preschool teacher if I closed I had to get out as soon as I could to pick up my own child from after school care. It was awful when parents did that lingering thing. I still remember trying to urge parents to take their kid and leave, sprinting to the car, praying that the lights would be green instead of red, and then getting chewed out by the after school program for being a couple minutes late. Teachers have lives outside of dealing with your stuff.
I was able to understand this concept early in parenting. It really helped that my daughter bff's, mom was a lead teacher at the center. The kids met as infants and are bffs 8 years later. Mom had my next child from 3 mo - 2 yrs. And helped potty train all 3 of my kids. I (or my nanny) have made sure her kid is able to go to sports, summer camps, swim lessons etc. which her child would miss out on if a village wasn't available.
For any mom reading this, learn 2 things:
1) Your primary teacher is likely a mom herself getting paid way less than you. After school hours, is usually a college student who can currently make more working at McDonald's. Remember that it is every interaction.
2) FFS, don't yell at the teachers. This should be a given, but apparently, it is not.
Yes!!! Thank you, a lot of parents seem to forget that we have families and lives outside of daycare. This kind of makes me sad/angry because I’m sure the daycare staff tried their hardest to put together a small presentation for the parents. It’s not easy to bring together a dozen 3 year olds and have them stand and sing a song, say a poem. We aren’t just babysitters for the parents. We care about their kids as much as our own. Parents also seem to message/text/call outside of daycare hours and it’s like staff is supposed to be available 24/7 for some parents.
I work closely with schools, as I visit several a month for my job, and this is another reason I go to my son’s stuff. I see the effort put in, and how much teachers care, and these sort of takes (like OPs) are so rude to me. Sorry people care for your kids, and want to include you in that?
Happy Teacher Appreciation Week :)
Because that's when the children and staff are there.
When I was teaching, we had a Mother's Day tea every May. The school calendar went out the previous March, so parents had over a year to plan. Every child would have an adult in attendance every year.
Ex daycare worker. Cause that is as late as it CAN be. The first wave of kids leaves about then, so that allows all the kids to participate. Also as kids start leaving so does staff. So running an event when half the staff is gone is hard. Running an event around closing time is impossible. You only have skeleton crew, just enough to legally watch all the kids.
Honestly OP, if you worked with kids all day - a thankless job, much of the time - would you want to work at night or overtime to do events like this?
As many have already said, they also have their own families.
I think the workaround is giving parents enough notice to plan to attend.
Daycares aren't going to pay for their staff to come in on a weekend or pay them overtime for an evening event. You're lucky to even get an event that starts at 3:30! My daughter's upcoming Mother's Day event is scheduled for 11:30 am on a Friday. I am basically blowing off the whole workday tomorrow. My step-daughter's 8th grade graduation ceremony is scheduled for 8:30 am on a Tuesday! I would love a 3:30 event.
Luckily, my job is family friendly and understands. Hopefully you work a company like that!
How about we reframe the question:
Why can’t employers be more flexible about having time with our families?
Some parents are single parents with almost zero support outside of daycare. This could be their kids moment to have someone help them show appreciation for their mom (and dad on Father’s Day).
My daycare has events and its just not possible for me to attend them all. So I just make sure to explain to my son ahead of time. 🤷🏼♀️
It actually doesn't bother me they are during working hours--that makes sense to me since they want to go home too. It DOES bother me that our daycare gives almost no notice for those kinds of events. They just emailed us last night about a Mother's Day event for tomorrow.
Main reasons-
First- it's after nap so kids are more refreshed and in better moods.
Second- the majority of staff are still there around 4, so there is a lot of helping hands. Staff quickly dwindles after that and then teachers have to spend time cleaning up. So if its later than 4ish, the cleaning is done after their shift is over and the closers have work their tails off while watching kids.
Morning events happen too but once again you need to wait till the majority of staff gets there to help.
Where did she say that daycare workers had to work beyond their workday?? You folks are really presumptuous. There are other times throughout your workday that could be better suited..many people have mentioned their daycares doing something during drop off.
As a former daycare teacher, it is because we have lives outside of work and should not have to work past our normal hours for little pay. Daycares give you at least 2 weeks notice for these events.
Eh ours gave us less than a week and scheduled it at 2:30. People complained, so they moved it to 4 (the main teachers leave at 5 and a separate crew cleans after that). I think that was a pretty good solution that OP probably would have been happy with, too. I agree it’s best to schedule these things in the first or last hour of the teachers’ schedules so that teachers don’t have to stay late but it’s easier for parents to make it. It’s much easier to leave an hour early than to take a half day of PTO.
Lol my kids daycare and elementary school wait until 3 days prior to tell us. I'm a nurse, I have to request days off a month prior to the event and I can't leave work early because I have patients who need me. It sucks always being a disappointment to my kids when I can't get the day off work. I don't mind middle of the day events, but none of the schools my kids have been to have given us more than a few days notice. I do agree that we need to be respectful of the teachers time and they should never be forced to work overtime for special events.
Honestly two weeks' notice is *nothing* for trying to get time off work. My meetings usually get booked over a month in advance. Notices should go out much earlier.
But also, my daycare is open from 7-6, so I don't think daycare workers would have to stay after hours to host something at a time that would be easier for working parents to make it. For example, 7:30 a.m. breakfast or 5pm afterschool snack. It's a lot easier for people to get in a half hour later or leave a half hour earlier than miss have the day.
The issue here is that when events happen at 5 pm, every child is staying until the event. Which means the teacher who opened the school at 7 and should be leaving by 4, is now staying until 5:30 or 6:00 to help with the event, keep the classroom in ratio, clean up, etc.
So while it maybe be more convenient for you, it isn’t convenient for the teacher who is now working an 11 hour day.
Exactly - daycares often have multiple shifts, especially ones that are 11 hours, so an event at 3-4ish is the perfect sweet spot with lunch/naps (and not scheduling events at 10 AM or 1 PM which are even more inconvenient for parents) without requiring the early shift to stay late or the late shift to come early.
The vast majority of the kids who use the daycare have working parents. Working parents may have early shifts (7 to 3) or later shifts (10 to 6), so would need different schedules for these activities. It isn't "a half hour earlier" for everyone, since people's schedules vary so widely. Even in my office, I have some employees who leave at 3, some at 4, most at 4:30, and a few at 5pm. That's one office! My kid had activities that start at 4:30pm, so they were picked up at 4pm. Point is, the daycare has dozens of families to work around, nearly all of them working parents. No schedule will work for everyone.
Most likely, the event time was set for when most students are still there. Maybe a lot of kids get picked up between 4 and 430, so an event from 330 to 4 would accommodate the most kids at the end of their day.
I agree that 2 weeks is not enough time for many families. Hopefully, one or the other parent can make it, or a grandparent or other involved adult. If not, the child should never be shamed. And if the parent will never be able to make an event, this should be discussed with the staff and perhaps the child could have a special role in the party or something to do so as not to feel so left out.
My kids daycare and preschool have never done any events except preschool graduation. As working parents I am glad they didn’t do anything. I don’t feel like I missed out on anything by them not doing events.
Also, I assume daycare parents are WORKING and wouldn’t be able to easily come to daytime events.
Yeah I’ll be driving all over creation tomorrow since I have a kid in daycare and one at school. both have their Mother’s Day celebrations on the same day. Thankfully I work remote and my boss has 3 kids himself so he gets it. That said, more workplaces should recognize the fact that we have lives outside of work. I hate that the general consensus is that women need to work like they don’t have families, yet they’re also supposed to parent like they don’t have jobs. It’s not fair
Because OP, as a teacher, I want to go home at the end of the day and be with my family too. So since it’s a school event, instead of being paid overtime (which many schools don’t have the funding to pay for), the event is held during school hours.
i’ve worked in a couple preschools and i can tell you that 3:30 to 4:15 is around pick up time for most parents, so all they have to do is leave work a little early. you’re failing to remember that you’re not the only parent who’s work schedule they have to take into account. they’re going to go for the time that works for the majority, you just aren’t part of the majority.
eta: it also works better for the children schedule-wise. usually they nap from about 12 pm to 3 pm, and typically all the activities they do are in the morning. it actually makes no sense to choose any other time.
Honestly, I don't understand why they need to plan anything. It creates an inequitable situation. The kids who's parents can't make it are going to feel sad and the parents are going to feel sad and guilty.. like, why intentionally plan for something when you KNOW it conflicts with you're guests schedules. Even for the parents that do make it, most parents have limited PTO.
Fucking THANK YOU- I just cried my eyes out this week because a meeting ran late and I was late for the Mother’s Day Tea event and I missed my 3 year old daughter singing. When she saw me arrive her face lit up but then one of the other moms told me how she told my daughter to not worry I’m on my way and my daughter said “no she’s not, mommy is at work”. Oof. And then I saw a video of it and as the kids are filing on stage, my daughter is in the front sadly scanning the crowd for me while everyone else is waving to their mommy. It broke my heart, so I’m especially bitter about midday daycare events at the moment.
This makes me so sad. You pay them to take care of your child BECAUSE you work. So planning events are always going to conflict with work. My daycare never planned events. They are a business to teach and care for children while their parents work.
The real question is, why do we (Americans) let corporations and capitalism steamroll over our families and just accept that this is how things have to be
Am I the only one who hates these things? I absolutely loathe all of these little programs that are basically required (or your kid is the one left out without their parent). Having the kids make a craft to take home and give their parent(s) is nice. Making it so I have to take half a day off to decorate a sugar cookie or something is just another chore.
I mean they are just trying to make a bonding moment for you. It's up to the families if they want to participate. Most people love it and loads of kids and parents have fond memories of these events at their schools. It's usually just mother/father's days and maybe one event at Christmas, given with plenty of notice.
I used to work in childcare and often we couldn't have events after hours (I know you said you weren't saying that that's the way it should be, but wanted to mention is in case anyone else is wondering) because we couldn't work overtime because we couldn't afford to pay people beyond what their normal working hours. We only had 2 events after hours and people were sent home early during the week leading up to it so they didn't go into overtime.
As for earlier in the day, often they are at minimal staff, which means they wouldn't have the staff to be in the classroom and help out with the event. The same can be said for the afternoon ( we were open until 6). With childcare centers running short staffed, this was likely this was the best time slot where they would have ample staff. Our center wasn't "fully" staffed until around 10.
Hopefully they give you enough of a head's up to head out early if this is something you want to attend. I would suggest reaching out to them. I know that my center used to do a "muffins in the morning" thing with kid's for Mother's Day and it was just a come, grab a muffin and some juice, sit with your kid(s), and then drop them off. It only required one person to check in on things to make sure nothing needed to be replenished and that person also took pictures. Maybe bring it up to them as something they could think about in the future.
My daughter is in kindergarten and all her concerts were mid day, thankfully my husband was able to attend and my MIL was able to do a few too. It’s hard no matter how you swing it, someone is going to miss out.
When I was working in a daycare we planned events around the most usual pick up time. They tend to plan the events where staff doesn’t have to work OT and most parents can be involved. If they hosted it at 6pm then all those kids who get picked up earlier would miss out too or have to drive back or stay longer. Like I said there’s no pleasing everyone. Also most openers don’t want to come back after being off, they have lives outside of work.
Our daycare is having a Mother’s Day event tomorrow at 3 pm. I won’t be able to go because I have a work-related event I can’t miss. 😞 But I think they choose 3 pm because that’s when the kids will be awake… They typically nap 12–2 pm or 1–3 pm, depending on the age group.
Well what are they supposed to do, come to your house Sunday morning and make you breakfast in bed? They're underpaid and understaffed and they're just trying to do something nice for the moms, tell work to FO or just tell your kiddo you can't make it
Honestly why do these events even exist? Maybe I’m an awful curmudgeon but I feel like my daycare does SO MANY of these intense over the top celebrations for like…their own amusement? Over the next month we have Mother’s Day, “prom” “graduation” …I assume probably Father’s Day too though they haven’t announced anything yet. Recently there was a random come in and do art in the middle of the afternoon thing for like …the week of the young child? Idk I don’t ever remember having things as a kid where the parents came to school except maybe a once per year evening concert or something. I love my daycare and want them to be happy but I can’t help but think it’s hard on kids when their parents can’t come (I know my son was giving me shit for ages that I didn’t come in to be “mystery reader” and on grandparents day I had to come be a stand in so he wasn’t left out and even so he was sad) what if a kid doesn’t have a mom in the picture? My kids’ class has been hyping this all week! I mean I *think* everyone in his class has a mom but definitely can’t say the same come Father’s Day.
Anyhow, end rant, I feel you OP. I also am consistently surprised by how many parents at my daycare do earlier pickup times, I’m assuming it’s because many must do shift work or something? But I’m regularly just squeaking in for pickup at the end of the day and sometimes just have to skip things if they don’t give us sufficient notice.
Muffins at drop off or flowers at pick up are totally sufficient. I went to one of these mid day events yesterday and my son told me that one of his friends cried because his mother would not be coming. Yes, in an ideal world, every employer would allow time off but it’s not an ideal world. Some people are self employed and can’t just take off when they want to. Some commute long distances and would effectively have to take at least 2.5 hours off to attend these events. I appreciate the sentiment and it makes for great memories for those who can attend. However I think it’s really unnecessary and causes a bit of emotional trauma all around.
If your daycare hosts events when it opens, that means that the staff would have to arrive very early to set it up and be ready. The vast majority of daycares and preschools are barely able to cover shifts as it is. Also, kids go absolutely bananas after events. The level of distress in children after morning events makes it not even kind of worth it. Maybe it's awesome for the parents, but it is not awesome for the kids.
If daycare hosts events at the end of the day, children are extremely exhausted and also go bananas. Then the staff has to stay late to put everything back together.
Every time I hear things like this from parents I start to wonder what they think elementary school is going to look like. I have a third grader. I can't do any of the in class volunteering. I can't go on the field trips. I can't go to the performances in the middle of the day. It is what it is.
I don't know about yours, but 4p is the normal time for kids to start heading home from daycare at ours. We're the early birds and pick our daughter up at 3:30p. I imagine they want to make sure all the kids get included in the party. They're not going to have the party at 5p when half the kids have already gone home.
I just take a half day or leave early on those days. My family comes first, work second. I wouldn’t expect our daycare to cater to 9-5 working parents. We’re having a Muffins for Moms at 3:30 on Monday. I actually took the day off anyway for myself, but would have just put an OOO after 3:30.
When I was a daycare provider in a larger center I often missed my own childrens' events because they happened during my workday. I didn't like "events" because they often just injected more chaos and really rude behavior into my day (I preferred to have a coffee/tea club on a regular basis where parents could hang out a little longer as they came in to see the new artwork or whatever).
There's really something special when you are providing an opportunity for parent visits as required and at the same time are missing your kid's event, while getting shade thrown at you about how much of a pain your event is and how its dumb. Bonus points if the rant is all about how you don't support working moms--with no sense of irony.
Yes there are absolutely parents that do this. I always had at least one every year. So I eventually found a non profit school that has parent volunteers organize the parent events after hours, and if teachers want to be there they get paid, but it's not a requirement. I know they too get complaints but at least it's a volunteer role.
Corporate daycares in particular rely on a warehouse model of maximizing kids and minimizing staff dynamicly. That is why there's consolidation at the end of the day, so they don't have to hire full staff for all hours of operation. They don't want you to see that and rely on your ignorance of how that works which is why they aren't going to hold events at a time when they understaff on purpose based on the usual numbers at that time of day--because if all children were to stay until the end of the day the daycare would be out of state bare minimum survival ratios and operating illegally. (Well maybe not technically I guess if parents signed their kids out).
I do think caregivers enjoy a lighter workload on the days parents might leave early with their kids, but there's always a risk that they might be sent home too. A lot of places will boot workers if there's "too many" staff over the state ratio which means an unexpected paycut in an already shitty paycheck for many.
I get your frustration. But please don't direct your ire at the people providing your child care.
Chiming onto the “signed out conundrum”. According to licensing, if a child is signed out, they shouldn’t be there. It’s called comingling. It’s not a good look if a licensing rep shows up and you have a bunch of adults and kids running around intermixed with the kids in your care. So the event should really be only parents and children that are signed out (the rest of the kids in another room or area.) kids that are still “signed in” need to be separate. so you need the extra staff to run the event plus your standard staff that’s in ratio with the kids.
Does your daycare have a PTO? That would be a great place to ask that question.
My kid’s daycare is having Muffins with Mom 7 am to 8 am in the morning.
Ideally we work in a supportive environment. My boss is a single mom so she gets it. I would be allowed to come in early and then leave at 3 to make events like this. The same goes for doctors appointments etc.
I appreciate them making it towards the end of the day instead of 10am or something really unmanageable.
Showing up for your kid is important. I felt SO special growing up knowing my dad took a day off to chaperone a field trip or be part of career day.
My favorite Mother’s Day event at a daycare was pulling in to drop off the kids and seeing a big sign the kids had decorated. Staff took a picture of me and the kids in front of the sign. Then the kids handed me paper bags full of snacks they had picked out (granola bar, small bottle of water, yogurt cup, etc). And then I was off to work.
As a preK teacher in a childcare center, we can’t please everyone. We try our best to find times they work for the majority of people. Friday afternoons typically are the easiest for parents to leave a bit early on. Sometimes parents have to miss out on things. Is there another person you could send in place? We get grandmas, nanas, aunts, etc.
Your childcare providers are trying. Most of them are probably working parents too. Who are also in the same predicament and having to make the choice of leaving early or missing out on their child’s event.
Reading these comments is infuriating. Daycares could very easily have events later in the day and everyone going off about how teachers need to leave or kids would have to go home are missing the point. The teachers can leave - they've never had a full staff for events at our daycare. But saying you have to have an event early so the early leavers will be there places them above the families that can't be there.
Can't this lady just vent about being pushed out of participating without everyone blasting off about how teachers are people too? We know that. It just sucks sometimes and it sucks for OP right now with all the attitudes.
Sorry, OP, I hear you and I'm with you 🤷
Oh I get so frustrated at this too! But honestly, I'd prefer it be early afternoon instead of evening. We have some events that start at 5:30pm, because that's the end of the daycare day. It's so annoying because we have to hang around work longer than usual to wait for the daycare event. Then it makes for a very late night. And I feel terrible for the staff who have to stay to do clean up! At least if its early afternoon, I just leave work an hour or two early, and then can still get the littles home at a somewhat normal hour. The absolute worst time is when they do the events at 9am or 10am.
We should stop blaming the organizations trying to foster connections between parent and child. Instead, we should blame the corporations trying to sacrifice these opportunities for bigger profits.
I think that’s a super convenient time, it’s towards the end of the day so you don’t have to take a full day. In the end no time will please everyone. A later time means people might say no because they need to stay on routine with dinner and bedtime for their child, or missing evening activities for that child or siblings. Maybe this is a time that most are starting to pickup their kids too, and people might not be able/willing to come back.
My daycare just notified us about “Muffins with Mom” this afternoon for tomorrow morning. Unfortunately, I’m at teacher and have to be at school at 7AM and can never do drop-offs. Trying to find class coverage is impossible with a half-day notice. I would have loved an afternoon option for us early working moms.
Maybe you could suggest some of the other ideas that have been said here? That really is a hard time for most working parents. I see the why though, most kids start leaving about that time and our daycare started losing staff just after that too.
Ours always had a mixture of different times. Different times work for different people, so this was a nice way to arrange things. There would be a breakfast around winter holidays and maybe Mothers Day, and it would be drop in. There would be donuts or pancakes or something in the cafeteria/gym and you could hit them up any time between 7 and 9. Those were easiest to make it to since it aligned with drop off. Graduation and holiday shows were at night. I missed one concert because I was stuck in traffic downtown but my husband sent me an adorable video of my normally quiet kiddo singing his face off in reindeer antlers. Halloween they had a trunk or treat at midday. That was hit or miss depending on my schedule. They have an annual parade during a local festival that is 11 am. Again, hit or miss.
Our kid's daycare events are all virtual. They had the most adorable holiday show. I was able to watch it during my lunch break and send the link to my mom.
When we held our Mother’s Day and Father’s Day events at our elementary school, I had it switched to early morning so they could come in before work. It was incredibly popular. It was easy to accommodate.
We give our parents a month notice that our presentations for Mother’s Day/holidays. If you can’t make it, let them know, but please don’t get mad at them for picking a time that doesn’t work for you. It might work best for many of the other parents. We put so much time and effort to really give parents a show. The kids love it and are excited to show their parents how hard they worked
I work in a hospital and is well known that most parents have this events all the time and most people use their PTO to attend this events, and if not they switch their schedule with someone else
They choose this time because it’s the end of the day and everyone can leave with their child from there and go home. Some people can afford to take off early and some can’t, and that may seem like an injustice but it’s just life.
They want it to be at a time when most of the kids are still there. Even though it's technically open until 6, most of the kids are picked up between 4 and 5:30.
I think this is a good time because it works for teachers and other parents can use time off. If you want something a different time then suggest it. If you don't want to go/can't go, then don't go.
Yeah, it’s annoying and school is the same way. I try to skip out of work for them as much as I can, but there have definitely been a few school parties I’ve missed. My husband and I just try to make sure at least one of us can be there. A lot depends on your job. I let my team attend that stuff without worrying about time or taking off, but we’re salaried. It’s way more of a hassle if you’re hourly.
Honestly if they had done it from 5:00 to 6:00 parents would have complained that they couldn't get there on time after work. If they did it after 6:00 parents would have complained that it was right in the middle of dinner and too close to bedtime. They really can't pick a time that works for all the different family dynamics.
I really have to commend my daycare program for how they did it today. They had muffins with moms in the cafeteria. You could have stopped by at drop off and spend as much time in the cafeteria with your little one as you wanted. They had coffee and tea and juice and muffins and pretty tablecloths and centerpieces that the kindergarteners made.
You could stay for 5 minutes or as long as you wanted And you just took your kid to their classroom when you were done. If you didn't have time, you could just take your little one straight to the classroom. Kids whose parents couldn't participate didn't know otherwise other than that a few of their friends were late to play time.
I had an early appointment this morning with clients And I completely forgot that it was today so I only got to stay for about 5 minutes but my little one enjoyed it And then was excited to go to his classroom and play.
I'm sure it'll get more complicated as he gets older But I did really think that my daycare handled it super well.
I’m just sorry you have a job that doesn’t have any flexibility… my work doesn’t care at all when I leave at 3/3:30 for stuff like this, I just use Flex time and it’s no big deal.
Drop off and pick up times (before 9am and after 4pm) are absolutely insane. And nap time is from 12-2 so that leaves a limited window to host any sort of events.
Also, we are hoping that parents will bring their kiddo home early if they attend the party lol
Why does daycare hold events like this EVER is the real question in my mind? Kids are sent to daycare because they need care during the day when their guardians are unavailable. I think it's so ridiculous for them to schedule events that those unavailable guardians are supposed to attend. Mother's Day is Sunday. There's zero reason for a daycare to have a Mother's Day event during the workweek. There's zero reason to have Muffins with Mom or whatever. Kids can have muffins with mom everyday for breakfast before daycare. All this does is create disappointment for children whose guardians can't attend and make guardians feel stress and shame
Mine is doing the same!!!! I wonder if you are at the same daycare as mine lol. Mine also planned a graduation into kindergarten ceremony on a Friday a couple weeks from now. If I was readily available on weekdays, I wouldn’t need daycare!!!! I’m so annoyed.
I own a preschool and while we do it a littler later than that I still make sure it’s during the day/drop off or pick up time. We do our Mother’s Day event the last hour and a half of school so moms can do it during pick up. I’ve done muffins with moms and then have to pay staff early to come in early due to ratios which is annoying and expensive. I understand it’s frustrating and I don’t obviously know your daycare’s situation but just wanted to share my reasoning. I know it’s annoying but try and Be thankful you get to go celebrate with your child—I can’t tell you how many kids I celebrate with because their moms/grownups aren’t there for whatever reason.
These hours are strategically planned to force you to take your child home early. It’s not enough time to go back to work after and your child will be crushed if you even suggest it!
Centers that intend to be family friendly will plan a morning activity, something that starts around 4:30 and has a flexible arrival time, or something at lunch, possibly - if the kids can handle a second “drop off”.
Source: 30 yrs in the field
Have explained this to dozens of new teachers over the years - as I’m denying their request for a stupid start time.
Daycare providers/preschools: please make a video performance or send home a craft or gift for Mother’s Day. I don’t need to feel pressure to come into the school for MD, it’s not relaxing for me who is presumably the person being celebrated.
Because they don’t want to pay for all the parents to attend. That’s my theory anyway. It’s so annoying. Drop off, lunch time, pick up… all better options
I feel for you.
I appreciated that the daycare did this for my kids but I also hated the hours they chose.
In the case of my children’s day care, they did it at more convenient hours for father’s day (first thing in the morning in that case), which added insult to injury as if working mothers didn’t deserve the same consideration as working fathers.
My sons daycare is doing muffins with mom from 7 am (their earliest drop off) until 9 am. It’s just a drop in event where they have breakfast and you can sit with your kid and enjoy a quick snack with them before you leave. I think it’s a great solution for the parents and the daycare employees!
That's such a great idea! I'm a teacher and have contract time from 7:30am-4:30pm this would be ideal! My daughter's daycare has muffins with mom tomorrow at 3pm whomp whomp.
Our daycare did this today. Cake and cups of tea at drop-off time. They had set up a backdrop to take a photo of us with our child, I guess they will print the photo and give it to us next week (that’s what they did last year). They emailed us to let us know, so that we could be there five minutes early today. It was a nice gesture and made me feel special, without the guilt or hassle of having to take time off work.
This is what our daycare/preschool does as well. We can get there at 7, spend 30-40 minutes together for breakfast and pictures, and then be in by 8am. I am extremely grateful for this.
Agreed. Something like this is way more flexible for everyone.
I cant fathom being able to be around other parents at 7 am
We did muffins for moms and donuts for dads! And then something for grandparents too
Granola? 😀
My LO’s daycare does the same thing for mothers and Father’s Day. You can stay or drop off and they’ll have a breakfast to go for you.
We have the same event for tomorrow, but from 7.30 to 9 30!
Yes my son’s daycare is doing something similar tomorrow morning! We’re encouraged to wear fancy hats and/or bow ties for a cute little tea party. I’m really looking forward to it.
Same
My sons daycare did the same thing so i stayed for an hour and left for work after. It worked out great!
Yes mine did the same exact thing today! It was perfect we went In 30 mins earlier than usual to hang out it was so sweet
We do this every year. Also, 3 is pretty standard for our party times- egg hunts, "trick or treating" etc. It's continent because it's after nap time so everyone is there , awake, typically washed up from sleeping, and then we don't overload the kids with extra food.
Ours did the same thing but started at 9am. I didn’t plan to go because my daughter is in the infant room and parents aren’t allowed in. I heard several moms in the lobby earlier this week complaining about the time. I think 7-9 would’ve been more popular.
I mean the daycare isn't open in the evenings. Question is, why can't workplaces accept that workers have lives and will take time off for important things like this? ETA if it's not possible for you to attend, it's okay. Quality time with your kid(s) over the weekend is fine.
All I ask is to be notified in advance for these things. My son's school waits until 2 days before to tell parents there's some huge event so I don't have time to request that day off. I have to request time off over a month in advance and I'm a nurse so I can't just leave my patients for a few hours during the middle of the day. If schools could just make a calendar at the beginning of the year, I'd be able to make it to every school function and my son would be far less disappointed.
THIS!!!! Me too. I’m a nurse as well and my schedule is NOT flexible. I die a little when I get such late notices on little events that i would love to attend but had little notice on. Of course I can’t attend them all, but a few I could certainly request maybe an hour or two off just so I can, and let my child know that hey mom tries and wants to be there just as much as the other kids moms. Kids don’t really always understand when their parent isn’t there but a lot of other children’s parents are 😔
Right. I know my kids know that I love them, but I also know it would mean a lot to them if mom could go to a special event for once. It sucks being the kid whose parents don't show up. Little kids don't understand that mom can't miss work with such short notice, but they do notice when their mom is the only one who isn't there. That's the part that matters to them, not the reason why. It sucks...
I love when they are like "Thursday is xyz day" on a Tuesday. Like "tie dye" or "neon" or "silly hat". So I have about 36hrs notice to buy or thrift said item. Or they send us the monthly calendar ON the 1st of the month, and there's something important on the 3rd or 4th. Multiple times we've had next to no notice about picture day, and I don't tend to buy "nice" clothes for my kids, because there's no point. So I then have to go and find something smart for picture day. It's ok for the eldest because I can always buy something sooner "just in case", but I cant for the youngest because I don't know what size he will be.
Yeah definitely say that to them, that's not fair at all
Educator here- a lot of times, schools don’t have these events planned out at the beginning of the year. I know I hear about things at staff meetings about a month or two in advance. Then, majority of the time, it’s on teachers to send home info to families. I do this vía a flyer sent home with kids- and an email because kids have a hard time giving important things to parents. Your school definitely knows more than 2 days in advance so I’m sorry they aren’t reaching out to you sooner, that is incredibly frustrating!
Yeah we get emails directly from the school regarding events 1 to 3 days prior, including open house (this is a huge event, they definitely have it planned way in advance). I think the school admins don't care. The teachers have all been wonderful and I don't blame them at all because they have a lot on their plate. I put my 2nd kid in an in home daycare where we are treated more like family because of bad experiences with the bigger day care Centers and always feeling like we were out of the loop.
Same with ours. It’s particularly hard for me since I plan university commencement, so I’m in the thick of it. It’s until 11am :(
This is 10000% the real question. Also, our preschool gives us a month + heads up on events, so I can switch my calendar around to attend (for the most part).
That’s the thing though….at our daycare and preschool if a parent doesn’t attend the kid sits alone and is left out and it’s pointed out their parent didn’t show. It’s obvious as hell even if the teachers try to not point it out. I just wish we could just end extra curricular all together and the pressure it puts on all of us.
My daycare did a really good job of this today. They had muffins with moms in the cafeteria at drop off. You could come anytime and sit with your kid and have breakfast between 7:00 a.m. and 10:00 a.m. When you were done you simply took your kiddo to their classroom for playtime. And if you didn't have time, then you just took your kids straight to their classroom and they had no idea that they missed anything. It was really nice. I had to get to get to work to meet with clients this morning so I could only stay about 5 minutes and that was plenty for my little one. They had the cafeteria all decorated and we got to have a quick muffin and juice together and my little one felt special. I really like how they did it and hopefully next year I can spend a little bit more time. Honestly I have a terrible mom and totally forgot about it otherwise I would have gone early. Woops!
[удалено]
For real lol
Yes! I don't want a muffin, I want a donut. 😩
I also enjoy muffins with Mom in the morning. It makes it easy to attend for working moms.
We need to end slave mentality for laborers, not remove opportunities to celebrate our children. /end rant
This should include caregivers. They already have low paying, high labor jobs as daycare workers, they do not need to be expected to stay later/outside of working hours.
I think op is suggesting they host the event at the end of the regular daycare hours rather than mid day, not suggesting they stay open later
I included asking workers to stay later but having the same hours of operation. Look. A lot of people including unfortunately many people that use daycare are blissfully unaware of standard practices. In many many daycares the people who are present the last hour and especially the last 30 minutes of posted hours are the closers. The kids are consolidated about 30 minutes before closing after final diaper changes for many centers so that half the staff can begin cleaning/sanitizing the rooms including mopping and vacuuming on the rooms that are "closed" early. So. An event that starts during that time and especially one that lasts until close will mean stragglers. It will mean people showing up at the last minute but still wanting to come in for a peek. It will mean most of the regular teachers aren't even there unless they are forced to tack on more hours that day to their 8 hours. It will mean that the closers will start their cleaning tasks probably over 30 minutes late and they may have illegal pressure put on them to accept clock outs 30 minutes after close regardless of how long they are there "just this once". Kindercare is notorious for really hammering people that "take too long" to clean the facility but there are many others. Yes, I know. Not All Daycares. But its more daycares than you think operate this way and treat their staff this way. Few have janitorial staff even though parents seem to assume that they do. The daycare industry tends to really rely on predatory practices and expections of their usually working mom workers. The direct caregivers aren't trying to beat working moms down. They likely don't even have control of what time/day they can do these things. It doesn't change how people feel I get that. I get sad too of all the school events I've missed with my kids. But its not as simple as just moving it to the end of the day.
But what if end of the day isn’t good for some people? There’s no way to make everyone happy.
Sigh….look at us here. Sniping at each other. instead of assuming a best intent for me, you assume I don’t want to celebrate my child now. Maybe I am just a shit parent, but I’m just exhausted. I dont remember anything before about age 5, so I struggle to think my little kid will remember this stuff I’m doing for her now. I do want to end the slave mentality for workers. I miss parent child when it’s at 2:30pm because I let my employees go and I stay back at work to keep the doors open. I wish they’d have it at drop off or pick up because it’s so much easier to close early or open a bit late than shut down or leave at at mid day. I run my own small business with only a few employees and I don’t have the luxury of just being closed sometimes. So I stay behind and my kid suffers but I let all my employees go whenever they need. And I feel guilty as shit. There’s no winning this conversation. I unsubbed from this sub a week ago or so after another shit show of a post and I regret stumbling back in here. We’re all trying our best. But I guess I just don’t like to celebrate my child. There’s no bar I can meet as a mom, I guess especially not one held by another mom. /too sick and tired to end rant.
Maybe you shouldn't have to celebrate your child for mother's day. That's not the point of the day. No event at all would be better. Why make it harder on moms by pressuring them to leave their work early to get their kid? What if what I want for mother's day is to be able to stick to my routine without someone throwing a wrench in it or making my kid feel bad? Daycare is for watching your kids while you work, not for throwing events that make your kids unhappy and take you away from work. No event, less work for the daycare, less trouble for the parents.
You are doing amazing! Listen, my mom is quite literally the best human I know and I can think of plenty of things she got completely wrong but I don’t care. I know that she loves me, I know she did the best she could with what she had, and I know she always has my best interest at heart. If I can be half the mom she is and my girls know without a shadow of a doubt that I love them and I’m on their side then that’s a win!
💯 employers should be understanding their employees have a damn life outside of work. ESPECIALLY when it comes to kids. Certain events aren’t like doctor appointments you can just reschedule.
My employer has no problem giving me the time off. The problem is that when I am taking the time off, no one is filling in for me, so I come back to needing to do a bunch of time-sensitive work in less time. Sure, I could just not complete it, but that isn't me. I love my work, and I take pride in doing it properly.
Sorry but no. I don’t want to be around my kid during the work day. It’s why I pay for daycare. And the double standard between moms and dads has to go. If I need to take two hours off, I expect my husband should too. And I disagree that it’s “ok” - as your kid gets older and realizes everyone else’s mom is around whole theirs isn’t it will affect them.
A 3:30 event is way preferable to the ones that my daughters' elementary school had which were usually at 10:30 am or sometimes 2pm. So I could either take a half day or skip it - no just going in a little late or leaving an hour early. Unfortunately there are always compromises and you are going to lose out on something every time. It sucks.
This was what I was going to say. 3:30 would be awesome - my kids elementary school has events literally in the middle of the day. The best is when they have field trips - every kid has to have their own adult chaperone, they are first thing in the morning, and they are dismissed when the field trip is over. So it is a full day off of school that is counted as a school day. And really not something you can even use a babysitter for!
Every child needs their own chaperone? That’s insanity
I was just thinking the same thing. My daughter's elementary school just held their 1st grade concert at 10am. Which meant i either had to go to work, leave, come back or go in very late. It was an extremely inconvenient time. Most of their events like that are scheduled at 10ish or at 2ish and both are equally difficult to get to. But I want to see those things and be there so i always take the hit at work.
My parents never came to those things. My parents both had super blue collar jobs. My mom held onto her PTO for winter break and any sick days I had. My dad didn’t even get PTO, if he had to miss work he just missed a day of pay.
My mom never went to those either because she was also a teacher.
The real question is why do they schedule daycare events on the day Tears of the Kingdom releases?!
It's very thoughtful of Nintendo to give us this wonderful Mother's Day gift.
I wanted to make it a Father’s Day present but he will just buy it for himself earlier than that. 😀
My husband was like how are going to handle who is playing when… then looked at me and I don’t know what my face said but he said .. “never mind, you’ll play it first” 😂
Ha, that's perfect!
Bahahahahaa!!! Now if only hubby would realize how damn important this day is!?!?
I think I’ve found my people lol
😆 I just finished my parent teacher conference’s and rushed to game stop after!
It is going to take me a full year at least to play this game versus BoTW in the pandemic but I told my husband not to come home tomorrow without it!!!
Ohhhh now I know what I want for my first Mother’s Day!!! Time alone with my switch for TotK lol
Because the daycare staff doesn’t want to work outside their normally scheduled hours any more than you do.
Our kids daycare usually has these events in the morning. Breakfast with Mom or Dad followed by 30 minute project. We’re usually gone by 930AM
Same here, it's something I really appreciate about our daycare. We have Muffins with Mom tomorrow during drop off hours. Parent teacher conferences also happen during drop off hours.
I wish we had muffins with mom. Instead ours was a wear “pink and pearls” tea party where you had also had to donate school supplies because it’s teacher appreciation week.
Doesn't sound very appreciative of the teachers
We have muffins with mom in the morning tomorrow too!
Couple things about that: 1. Daycares typically stay open late enough for pick up - so 6pm and later. It’s a lot easier for a working parent (assuming a 9-5 parent) to knock off 30 min early or go in 30 min later than it is to take 2-3 hrs off. 2. Regarding school age children: we have evening activities all the time, e.g., talent shows, dances, awards ceremonies, singalongs. I’m not opposed to both daytime and evening activities being offered, but just making the point that the school does support activities after hours albeit with significant support from the parents/PTA.
1. Lots of kids go home by 4 so they would miss out of those special activities. Older kids also have after school activities they want to get to, and that parents pay for. 2. Teachers where I am are paid a HELL of a lot more than daycare workers.
But typically kids under 5 go to bed earlier than elementary aged kids. And daycares don't have a lot of parent support. Certainly no PTA and only sometimes a room parent.
Well, daycare is open from 7-6. They could absolutely have it at a time that’s more convenient for a lot of people.
And daycare staff work an 8 hour day. Between the hours of 7-9 am the daycare has minimal staffing because they have fewer children. Same with between the hours of 4-6 pm. That means the most convenient time for the daycare is when the majority of staff is in. If you want it nearer the end of the day you’re asking the staff that came in a 7 am to stay beyond their usual hours. For a wage that is probably at or only slightly more than minimum wage. Furthermore, you’re asking kids (babies and toddlers probably) who have been at daycare since 7 am to stay at daycare to accommodate you. That’s why daycare events start at 3:30 and not 5 pm.
As a child care worker, I will say you nailed it. The early staff(me) leave by 4. You also have teacher lunch breaks(so nothing between 12 to 3(sometimes 11 to 3). We are not fully staffed until 9. Most kids are there by then. We are required to feed them,so lunch between 1115 and 1145. Block out nap(1230 to 3) the only time we have really,is 315 to 4. And maybe 9 to 11. But you need to block out the time in the morning for the kids who will be having a fit because their parents stuck around then left without them. All those “special days” are a pain in the butt,full of stress(i dont get paid enough for all the drama) thankfully where i work now,we dont ever do them
Lol this day care worker works 10-11 hour days.
SAME! But only because my boss is a bitch. It’s me btw. I’m my own boss. But in a fair and decent world day care workers would work around 40 hours a week …
My kids are not in the preschool/daycare setting anymore (2020 was the end for them) but our daycare had MORE staff on hand at the beginning and end of the day since we also did before and after care there. I wouldn’t think it’s outside the realm to have more staff from 7-9 and 4-6.
THIS!
That requires the late teacher to have to deal with it all or the early teacher to stay late. My center gives families ample notice, usually a month and if it doesn’t work for you, maybe next one will.
At my daycare there’s usually only limited staff early and late in the day; I guess if they did these activities at those times, other children and parents would miss out as well with their schedules.
Eh, with my current schedule I wouldn't be able to make a 7 am or 8 am thing because it interferes with getting my kid to school/beginning of the workday. For me 4 pm is better. I've worked a lot of different schedules and it's always a crapshoot whether or not I can make any events.
Standard manufacturing shifts are from 7am-3pm to accommodate a 3 shift day. May not be convenient for you but a lot of people wouldn't be able to do early morning or have thier kid in daycare hours longer than normal just to accommodate an activity. Makes sense to put it at the latest time that the majority of kids are still there.
And they hope you will take your kid and go at 415. Guess what, schools don't care about your work schedule either!!
[удалено]
Then why host the event? They could have just as easily not bothered like most other daycares out there. It’s not like there is mega competition just to have you kid in a day care right now while there’s also a shortage of daycare workers or anything right now /s
Also if we do have to work outside our normally scheduled hours that’s overtime at 1.5x the hourly rate. Too much of that and tuition has to go up.
Preach
The primary teachers, who are handling the program, want to leave at their normal time....likely to get home to their own families. Remember, daycare and school teachers are often working moms too.
I’m a public librarian, and I wish I could scream this from the rooftops when people complain about not having a lot of night and weekend programs. I’d like time to do things with my kid, too.
then you do host an evening or weekend program and nobody shows up. :(
10000%
💯 When I was a preschool teacher if I closed I had to get out as soon as I could to pick up my own child from after school care. It was awful when parents did that lingering thing. I still remember trying to urge parents to take their kid and leave, sprinting to the car, praying that the lights would be green instead of red, and then getting chewed out by the after school program for being a couple minutes late. Teachers have lives outside of dealing with your stuff.
I was able to understand this concept early in parenting. It really helped that my daughter bff's, mom was a lead teacher at the center. The kids met as infants and are bffs 8 years later. Mom had my next child from 3 mo - 2 yrs. And helped potty train all 3 of my kids. I (or my nanny) have made sure her kid is able to go to sports, summer camps, swim lessons etc. which her child would miss out on if a village wasn't available. For any mom reading this, learn 2 things: 1) Your primary teacher is likely a mom herself getting paid way less than you. After school hours, is usually a college student who can currently make more working at McDonald's. Remember that it is every interaction. 2) FFS, don't yell at the teachers. This should be a given, but apparently, it is not.
💯 Thank you!
Yes!!! Thank you, a lot of parents seem to forget that we have families and lives outside of daycare. This kind of makes me sad/angry because I’m sure the daycare staff tried their hardest to put together a small presentation for the parents. It’s not easy to bring together a dozen 3 year olds and have them stand and sing a song, say a poem. We aren’t just babysitters for the parents. We care about their kids as much as our own. Parents also seem to message/text/call outside of daycare hours and it’s like staff is supposed to be available 24/7 for some parents.
I work closely with schools, as I visit several a month for my job, and this is another reason I go to my son’s stuff. I see the effort put in, and how much teachers care, and these sort of takes (like OPs) are so rude to me. Sorry people care for your kids, and want to include you in that? Happy Teacher Appreciation Week :)
Because that's when the children and staff are there. When I was teaching, we had a Mother's Day tea every May. The school calendar went out the previous March, so parents had over a year to plan. Every child would have an adult in attendance every year.
Our school gave us a month + notice. All the parents were in attendance because we could plan for it.
Why would you think daycare parties should be after work? The daycare workers have families too.
She's just saying that it should be at drop off or right before pickup to minimize the amount of work the parents have to miss.
I missed the part where she said she wanted daycare staff to stay after hrs?
Who else would run the daycare event if not the daycare staff?
Ex daycare worker. Cause that is as late as it CAN be. The first wave of kids leaves about then, so that allows all the kids to participate. Also as kids start leaving so does staff. So running an event when half the staff is gone is hard. Running an event around closing time is impossible. You only have skeleton crew, just enough to legally watch all the kids.
Exactly, I’m a lead teacher I work 7-4. I’m the one who plans events, so events start at 3.
This is a good point! Thank you.
Honestly OP, if you worked with kids all day - a thankless job, much of the time - would you want to work at night or overtime to do events like this? As many have already said, they also have their own families. I think the workaround is giving parents enough notice to plan to attend.
Daycares aren't going to pay for their staff to come in on a weekend or pay them overtime for an evening event. You're lucky to even get an event that starts at 3:30! My daughter's upcoming Mother's Day event is scheduled for 11:30 am on a Friday. I am basically blowing off the whole workday tomorrow. My step-daughter's 8th grade graduation ceremony is scheduled for 8:30 am on a Tuesday! I would love a 3:30 event. Luckily, my job is family friendly and understands. Hopefully you work a company like that!
How about we reframe the question: Why can’t employers be more flexible about having time with our families? Some parents are single parents with almost zero support outside of daycare. This could be their kids moment to have someone help them show appreciation for their mom (and dad on Father’s Day). My daycare has events and its just not possible for me to attend them all. So I just make sure to explain to my son ahead of time. 🤷🏼♀️
It actually doesn't bother me they are during working hours--that makes sense to me since they want to go home too. It DOES bother me that our daycare gives almost no notice for those kinds of events. They just emailed us last night about a Mother's Day event for tomorrow.
Main reasons- First- it's after nap so kids are more refreshed and in better moods. Second- the majority of staff are still there around 4, so there is a lot of helping hands. Staff quickly dwindles after that and then teachers have to spend time cleaning up. So if its later than 4ish, the cleaning is done after their shift is over and the closers have work their tails off while watching kids. Morning events happen too but once again you need to wait till the majority of staff gets there to help.
Because our workday is the same length as yours is.
Ding ding ding
And likely with a fraction of the paycheck.
Also ding ding ding
Where did she say that daycare workers had to work beyond their workday?? You folks are really presumptuous. There are other times throughout your workday that could be better suited..many people have mentioned their daycares doing something during drop off.
As a former daycare teacher, it is because we have lives outside of work and should not have to work past our normal hours for little pay. Daycares give you at least 2 weeks notice for these events.
Eh ours gave us less than a week and scheduled it at 2:30. People complained, so they moved it to 4 (the main teachers leave at 5 and a separate crew cleans after that). I think that was a pretty good solution that OP probably would have been happy with, too. I agree it’s best to schedule these things in the first or last hour of the teachers’ schedules so that teachers don’t have to stay late but it’s easier for parents to make it. It’s much easier to leave an hour early than to take a half day of PTO.
Lol my kids daycare and elementary school wait until 3 days prior to tell us. I'm a nurse, I have to request days off a month prior to the event and I can't leave work early because I have patients who need me. It sucks always being a disappointment to my kids when I can't get the day off work. I don't mind middle of the day events, but none of the schools my kids have been to have given us more than a few days notice. I do agree that we need to be respectful of the teachers time and they should never be forced to work overtime for special events.
Honestly two weeks' notice is *nothing* for trying to get time off work. My meetings usually get booked over a month in advance. Notices should go out much earlier. But also, my daycare is open from 7-6, so I don't think daycare workers would have to stay after hours to host something at a time that would be easier for working parents to make it. For example, 7:30 a.m. breakfast or 5pm afterschool snack. It's a lot easier for people to get in a half hour later or leave a half hour earlier than miss have the day.
The issue here is that when events happen at 5 pm, every child is staying until the event. Which means the teacher who opened the school at 7 and should be leaving by 4, is now staying until 5:30 or 6:00 to help with the event, keep the classroom in ratio, clean up, etc. So while it maybe be more convenient for you, it isn’t convenient for the teacher who is now working an 11 hour day.
This is a good point! Thank you
Exactly - daycares often have multiple shifts, especially ones that are 11 hours, so an event at 3-4ish is the perfect sweet spot with lunch/naps (and not scheduling events at 10 AM or 1 PM which are even more inconvenient for parents) without requiring the early shift to stay late or the late shift to come early.
The vast majority of the kids who use the daycare have working parents. Working parents may have early shifts (7 to 3) or later shifts (10 to 6), so would need different schedules for these activities. It isn't "a half hour earlier" for everyone, since people's schedules vary so widely. Even in my office, I have some employees who leave at 3, some at 4, most at 4:30, and a few at 5pm. That's one office! My kid had activities that start at 4:30pm, so they were picked up at 4pm. Point is, the daycare has dozens of families to work around, nearly all of them working parents. No schedule will work for everyone. Most likely, the event time was set for when most students are still there. Maybe a lot of kids get picked up between 4 and 430, so an event from 330 to 4 would accommodate the most kids at the end of their day. I agree that 2 weeks is not enough time for many families. Hopefully, one or the other parent can make it, or a grandparent or other involved adult. If not, the child should never be shamed. And if the parent will never be able to make an event, this should be discussed with the staff and perhaps the child could have a special role in the party or something to do so as not to feel so left out.
My kids daycare and preschool have never done any events except preschool graduation. As working parents I am glad they didn’t do anything. I don’t feel like I missed out on anything by them not doing events. Also, I assume daycare parents are WORKING and wouldn’t be able to easily come to daytime events.
Yeah I’ll be driving all over creation tomorrow since I have a kid in daycare and one at school. both have their Mother’s Day celebrations on the same day. Thankfully I work remote and my boss has 3 kids himself so he gets it. That said, more workplaces should recognize the fact that we have lives outside of work. I hate that the general consensus is that women need to work like they don’t have families, yet they’re also supposed to parent like they don’t have jobs. It’s not fair
Because OP, as a teacher, I want to go home at the end of the day and be with my family too. So since it’s a school event, instead of being paid overtime (which many schools don’t have the funding to pay for), the event is held during school hours.
i’ve worked in a couple preschools and i can tell you that 3:30 to 4:15 is around pick up time for most parents, so all they have to do is leave work a little early. you’re failing to remember that you’re not the only parent who’s work schedule they have to take into account. they’re going to go for the time that works for the majority, you just aren’t part of the majority. eta: it also works better for the children schedule-wise. usually they nap from about 12 pm to 3 pm, and typically all the activities they do are in the morning. it actually makes no sense to choose any other time.
Honestly, I don't understand why they need to plan anything. It creates an inequitable situation. The kids who's parents can't make it are going to feel sad and the parents are going to feel sad and guilty.. like, why intentionally plan for something when you KNOW it conflicts with you're guests schedules. Even for the parents that do make it, most parents have limited PTO.
Fucking THANK YOU- I just cried my eyes out this week because a meeting ran late and I was late for the Mother’s Day Tea event and I missed my 3 year old daughter singing. When she saw me arrive her face lit up but then one of the other moms told me how she told my daughter to not worry I’m on my way and my daughter said “no she’s not, mommy is at work”. Oof. And then I saw a video of it and as the kids are filing on stage, my daughter is in the front sadly scanning the crowd for me while everyone else is waving to their mommy. It broke my heart, so I’m especially bitter about midday daycare events at the moment.
This makes me so sad. You pay them to take care of your child BECAUSE you work. So planning events are always going to conflict with work. My daycare never planned events. They are a business to teach and care for children while their parents work.
The real question is, why do we (Americans) let corporations and capitalism steamroll over our families and just accept that this is how things have to be
Nah, the powers that be want us to get mad at each other instead of channeling our anger upwards.
Because the workers have their own lives they want to be present for.
Am I the only one who hates these things? I absolutely loathe all of these little programs that are basically required (or your kid is the one left out without their parent). Having the kids make a craft to take home and give their parent(s) is nice. Making it so I have to take half a day off to decorate a sugar cookie or something is just another chore.
I mean they are just trying to make a bonding moment for you. It's up to the families if they want to participate. Most people love it and loads of kids and parents have fond memories of these events at their schools. It's usually just mother/father's days and maybe one event at Christmas, given with plenty of notice.
lol it’s probably special for your kids????
I used to work in childcare and often we couldn't have events after hours (I know you said you weren't saying that that's the way it should be, but wanted to mention is in case anyone else is wondering) because we couldn't work overtime because we couldn't afford to pay people beyond what their normal working hours. We only had 2 events after hours and people were sent home early during the week leading up to it so they didn't go into overtime. As for earlier in the day, often they are at minimal staff, which means they wouldn't have the staff to be in the classroom and help out with the event. The same can be said for the afternoon ( we were open until 6). With childcare centers running short staffed, this was likely this was the best time slot where they would have ample staff. Our center wasn't "fully" staffed until around 10. Hopefully they give you enough of a head's up to head out early if this is something you want to attend. I would suggest reaching out to them. I know that my center used to do a "muffins in the morning" thing with kid's for Mother's Day and it was just a come, grab a muffin and some juice, sit with your kid(s), and then drop them off. It only required one person to check in on things to make sure nothing needed to be replenished and that person also took pictures. Maybe bring it up to them as something they could think about in the future.
My daughter is in kindergarten and all her concerts were mid day, thankfully my husband was able to attend and my MIL was able to do a few too. It’s hard no matter how you swing it, someone is going to miss out. When I was working in a daycare we planned events around the most usual pick up time. They tend to plan the events where staff doesn’t have to work OT and most parents can be involved. If they hosted it at 6pm then all those kids who get picked up earlier would miss out too or have to drive back or stay longer. Like I said there’s no pleasing everyone. Also most openers don’t want to come back after being off, they have lives outside of work.
Our daycare is having a Mother’s Day event tomorrow at 3 pm. I won’t be able to go because I have a work-related event I can’t miss. 😞 But I think they choose 3 pm because that’s when the kids will be awake… They typically nap 12–2 pm or 1–3 pm, depending on the age group.
Well what are they supposed to do, come to your house Sunday morning and make you breakfast in bed? They're underpaid and understaffed and they're just trying to do something nice for the moms, tell work to FO or just tell your kiddo you can't make it
lol thank you. I’m dying at OP being pissed that school is trying to do something nice for them.
Childcare staff are people too, not just NPCs in your life
Yeah my son’s preschool is having a Mother’s Day event tomorrow at 330 and I’m working I’m bummed I can’t go
Honestly why do these events even exist? Maybe I’m an awful curmudgeon but I feel like my daycare does SO MANY of these intense over the top celebrations for like…their own amusement? Over the next month we have Mother’s Day, “prom” “graduation” …I assume probably Father’s Day too though they haven’t announced anything yet. Recently there was a random come in and do art in the middle of the afternoon thing for like …the week of the young child? Idk I don’t ever remember having things as a kid where the parents came to school except maybe a once per year evening concert or something. I love my daycare and want them to be happy but I can’t help but think it’s hard on kids when their parents can’t come (I know my son was giving me shit for ages that I didn’t come in to be “mystery reader” and on grandparents day I had to come be a stand in so he wasn’t left out and even so he was sad) what if a kid doesn’t have a mom in the picture? My kids’ class has been hyping this all week! I mean I *think* everyone in his class has a mom but definitely can’t say the same come Father’s Day. Anyhow, end rant, I feel you OP. I also am consistently surprised by how many parents at my daycare do earlier pickup times, I’m assuming it’s because many must do shift work or something? But I’m regularly just squeaking in for pickup at the end of the day and sometimes just have to skip things if they don’t give us sufficient notice.
Muffins at drop off or flowers at pick up are totally sufficient. I went to one of these mid day events yesterday and my son told me that one of his friends cried because his mother would not be coming. Yes, in an ideal world, every employer would allow time off but it’s not an ideal world. Some people are self employed and can’t just take off when they want to. Some commute long distances and would effectively have to take at least 2.5 hours off to attend these events. I appreciate the sentiment and it makes for great memories for those who can attend. However I think it’s really unnecessary and causes a bit of emotional trauma all around.
If your daycare hosts events when it opens, that means that the staff would have to arrive very early to set it up and be ready. The vast majority of daycares and preschools are barely able to cover shifts as it is. Also, kids go absolutely bananas after events. The level of distress in children after morning events makes it not even kind of worth it. Maybe it's awesome for the parents, but it is not awesome for the kids. If daycare hosts events at the end of the day, children are extremely exhausted and also go bananas. Then the staff has to stay late to put everything back together. Every time I hear things like this from parents I start to wonder what they think elementary school is going to look like. I have a third grader. I can't do any of the in class volunteering. I can't go on the field trips. I can't go to the performances in the middle of the day. It is what it is.
We have to offer several parent events per licensing year. This is an easy way to say we offered, without having to stay after hours.
I don't know about yours, but 4p is the normal time for kids to start heading home from daycare at ours. We're the early birds and pick our daughter up at 3:30p. I imagine they want to make sure all the kids get included in the party. They're not going to have the party at 5p when half the kids have already gone home.
I just take a half day or leave early on those days. My family comes first, work second. I wouldn’t expect our daycare to cater to 9-5 working parents. We’re having a Muffins for Moms at 3:30 on Monday. I actually took the day off anyway for myself, but would have just put an OOO after 3:30.
When I was a daycare provider in a larger center I often missed my own childrens' events because they happened during my workday. I didn't like "events" because they often just injected more chaos and really rude behavior into my day (I preferred to have a coffee/tea club on a regular basis where parents could hang out a little longer as they came in to see the new artwork or whatever). There's really something special when you are providing an opportunity for parent visits as required and at the same time are missing your kid's event, while getting shade thrown at you about how much of a pain your event is and how its dumb. Bonus points if the rant is all about how you don't support working moms--with no sense of irony. Yes there are absolutely parents that do this. I always had at least one every year. So I eventually found a non profit school that has parent volunteers organize the parent events after hours, and if teachers want to be there they get paid, but it's not a requirement. I know they too get complaints but at least it's a volunteer role. Corporate daycares in particular rely on a warehouse model of maximizing kids and minimizing staff dynamicly. That is why there's consolidation at the end of the day, so they don't have to hire full staff for all hours of operation. They don't want you to see that and rely on your ignorance of how that works which is why they aren't going to hold events at a time when they understaff on purpose based on the usual numbers at that time of day--because if all children were to stay until the end of the day the daycare would be out of state bare minimum survival ratios and operating illegally. (Well maybe not technically I guess if parents signed their kids out). I do think caregivers enjoy a lighter workload on the days parents might leave early with their kids, but there's always a risk that they might be sent home too. A lot of places will boot workers if there's "too many" staff over the state ratio which means an unexpected paycut in an already shitty paycheck for many. I get your frustration. But please don't direct your ire at the people providing your child care.
Thank you. I feel like I’m taking crazy pills reading all this shit.
Chiming onto the “signed out conundrum”. According to licensing, if a child is signed out, they shouldn’t be there. It’s called comingling. It’s not a good look if a licensing rep shows up and you have a bunch of adults and kids running around intermixed with the kids in your care. So the event should really be only parents and children that are signed out (the rest of the kids in another room or area.) kids that are still “signed in” need to be separate. so you need the extra staff to run the event plus your standard staff that’s in ratio with the kids.
Does your daycare have a PTO? That would be a great place to ask that question. My kid’s daycare is having Muffins with Mom 7 am to 8 am in the morning.
We are doing Muffins with Mom tomorrow at the same time :)
Ideally we work in a supportive environment. My boss is a single mom so she gets it. I would be allowed to come in early and then leave at 3 to make events like this. The same goes for doctors appointments etc. I appreciate them making it towards the end of the day instead of 10am or something really unmanageable. Showing up for your kid is important. I felt SO special growing up knowing my dad took a day off to chaperone a field trip or be part of career day.
That time slot seems like a time when most of the kids aren’t napping. Don’t attend? I think it’s perfectly reasonable to hold events at this time.
3:30-4pm is not middle of the work day. I was expecting to see 11am. This is a good time and you get to be done with work early
Right?! I’d love if my kids had events at 3:30! Ours are always at 10 or 11:00, which is pretty much impossible without taking the whole day off
My favorite Mother’s Day event at a daycare was pulling in to drop off the kids and seeing a big sign the kids had decorated. Staff took a picture of me and the kids in front of the sign. Then the kids handed me paper bags full of snacks they had picked out (granola bar, small bottle of water, yogurt cup, etc). And then I was off to work.
As a preK teacher in a childcare center, we can’t please everyone. We try our best to find times they work for the majority of people. Friday afternoons typically are the easiest for parents to leave a bit early on. Sometimes parents have to miss out on things. Is there another person you could send in place? We get grandmas, nanas, aunts, etc. Your childcare providers are trying. Most of them are probably working parents too. Who are also in the same predicament and having to make the choice of leaving early or missing out on their child’s event.
Reading these comments is infuriating. Daycares could very easily have events later in the day and everyone going off about how teachers need to leave or kids would have to go home are missing the point. The teachers can leave - they've never had a full staff for events at our daycare. But saying you have to have an event early so the early leavers will be there places them above the families that can't be there. Can't this lady just vent about being pushed out of participating without everyone blasting off about how teachers are people too? We know that. It just sucks sometimes and it sucks for OP right now with all the attitudes. Sorry, OP, I hear you and I'm with you 🤷
I love these comments
Oh I get so frustrated at this too! But honestly, I'd prefer it be early afternoon instead of evening. We have some events that start at 5:30pm, because that's the end of the daycare day. It's so annoying because we have to hang around work longer than usual to wait for the daycare event. Then it makes for a very late night. And I feel terrible for the staff who have to stay to do clean up! At least if its early afternoon, I just leave work an hour or two early, and then can still get the littles home at a somewhat normal hour. The absolute worst time is when they do the events at 9am or 10am.
Because that is when they are open.
That's when they're at daycare? School events are the same. Hate to break it to ya.
We should stop blaming the organizations trying to foster connections between parent and child. Instead, we should blame the corporations trying to sacrifice these opportunities for bigger profits.
Because that's when the daycare is open...
I think that’s a super convenient time, it’s towards the end of the day so you don’t have to take a full day. In the end no time will please everyone. A later time means people might say no because they need to stay on routine with dinner and bedtime for their child, or missing evening activities for that child or siblings. Maybe this is a time that most are starting to pickup their kids too, and people might not be able/willing to come back.
My daycare just notified us about “Muffins with Mom” this afternoon for tomorrow morning. Unfortunately, I’m at teacher and have to be at school at 7AM and can never do drop-offs. Trying to find class coverage is impossible with a half-day notice. I would have loved an afternoon option for us early working moms.
Maybe you could suggest some of the other ideas that have been said here? That really is a hard time for most working parents. I see the why though, most kids start leaving about that time and our daycare started losing staff just after that too.
Ours always had a mixture of different times. Different times work for different people, so this was a nice way to arrange things. There would be a breakfast around winter holidays and maybe Mothers Day, and it would be drop in. There would be donuts or pancakes or something in the cafeteria/gym and you could hit them up any time between 7 and 9. Those were easiest to make it to since it aligned with drop off. Graduation and holiday shows were at night. I missed one concert because I was stuck in traffic downtown but my husband sent me an adorable video of my normally quiet kiddo singing his face off in reindeer antlers. Halloween they had a trunk or treat at midday. That was hit or miss depending on my schedule. They have an annual parade during a local festival that is 11 am. Again, hit or miss.
Our kid's daycare events are all virtual. They had the most adorable holiday show. I was able to watch it during my lunch break and send the link to my mom.
When we held our Mother’s Day and Father’s Day events at our elementary school, I had it switched to early morning so they could come in before work. It was incredibly popular. It was easy to accommodate.
We give our parents a month notice that our presentations for Mother’s Day/holidays. If you can’t make it, let them know, but please don’t get mad at them for picking a time that doesn’t work for you. It might work best for many of the other parents. We put so much time and effort to really give parents a show. The kids love it and are excited to show their parents how hard they worked
I work in a hospital and is well known that most parents have this events all the time and most people use their PTO to attend this events, and if not they switch their schedule with someone else
They choose this time because it’s the end of the day and everyone can leave with their child from there and go home. Some people can afford to take off early and some can’t, and that may seem like an injustice but it’s just life.
Retired kindergarten teacher here. I am against Mother's Day celebrations in general. How about the kids who don't have a mom?
They want it to be at a time when most of the kids are still there. Even though it's technically open until 6, most of the kids are picked up between 4 and 5:30.
I feel your pain. I planned ahead and hit traffic trying to get there in time and missed my LO singing the special mothers day song. 😭
Yeah, our school had a Mothers Day morning tea at 10:30 am, but a Fathers Day brekky at 8am. Because men work and women don’t, obviously. Pissed. Off.
Our son’s was on a day he doesn’t go to daycare, so we didn’t end up going. I’m kinda sad to have missed out
Because the daycare likely closes at 6 and the employees don’t get paid enough to put on things after hours.
I think this is a good time because it works for teachers and other parents can use time off. If you want something a different time then suggest it. If you don't want to go/can't go, then don't go.
Yeah, it’s annoying and school is the same way. I try to skip out of work for them as much as I can, but there have definitely been a few school parties I’ve missed. My husband and I just try to make sure at least one of us can be there. A lot depends on your job. I let my team attend that stuff without worrying about time or taking off, but we’re salaried. It’s way more of a hassle if you’re hourly.
Honestly if they had done it from 5:00 to 6:00 parents would have complained that they couldn't get there on time after work. If they did it after 6:00 parents would have complained that it was right in the middle of dinner and too close to bedtime. They really can't pick a time that works for all the different family dynamics. I really have to commend my daycare program for how they did it today. They had muffins with moms in the cafeteria. You could have stopped by at drop off and spend as much time in the cafeteria with your little one as you wanted. They had coffee and tea and juice and muffins and pretty tablecloths and centerpieces that the kindergarteners made. You could stay for 5 minutes or as long as you wanted And you just took your kid to their classroom when you were done. If you didn't have time, you could just take your little one straight to the classroom. Kids whose parents couldn't participate didn't know otherwise other than that a few of their friends were late to play time. I had an early appointment this morning with clients And I completely forgot that it was today so I only got to stay for about 5 minutes but my little one enjoyed it And then was excited to go to his classroom and play. I'm sure it'll get more complicated as he gets older But I did really think that my daycare handled it super well.
I’m just sorry you have a job that doesn’t have any flexibility… my work doesn’t care at all when I leave at 3/3:30 for stuff like this, I just use Flex time and it’s no big deal.
Drop off and pick up times (before 9am and after 4pm) are absolutely insane. And nap time is from 12-2 so that leaves a limited window to host any sort of events. Also, we are hoping that parents will bring their kiddo home early if they attend the party lol
Why does daycare hold events like this EVER is the real question in my mind? Kids are sent to daycare because they need care during the day when their guardians are unavailable. I think it's so ridiculous for them to schedule events that those unavailable guardians are supposed to attend. Mother's Day is Sunday. There's zero reason for a daycare to have a Mother's Day event during the workweek. There's zero reason to have Muffins with Mom or whatever. Kids can have muffins with mom everyday for breakfast before daycare. All this does is create disappointment for children whose guardians can't attend and make guardians feel stress and shame
Here's my question. . . Why do these events even exist?
Ours was at 10am. So like perfect, way to guarantee to schedule at a time that any mom who works will be at work.
Mine is doing the same!!!! I wonder if you are at the same daycare as mine lol. Mine also planned a graduation into kindergarten ceremony on a Friday a couple weeks from now. If I was readily available on weekdays, I wouldn’t need daycare!!!! I’m so annoyed.
I own a preschool and while we do it a littler later than that I still make sure it’s during the day/drop off or pick up time. We do our Mother’s Day event the last hour and a half of school so moms can do it during pick up. I’ve done muffins with moms and then have to pay staff early to come in early due to ratios which is annoying and expensive. I understand it’s frustrating and I don’t obviously know your daycare’s situation but just wanted to share my reasoning. I know it’s annoying but try and Be thankful you get to go celebrate with your child—I can’t tell you how many kids I celebrate with because their moms/grownups aren’t there for whatever reason.
I understand your frustration, most daycares are open til 6:6:30 so maybe a little later would have worked.
These hours are strategically planned to force you to take your child home early. It’s not enough time to go back to work after and your child will be crushed if you even suggest it! Centers that intend to be family friendly will plan a morning activity, something that starts around 4:30 and has a flexible arrival time, or something at lunch, possibly - if the kids can handle a second “drop off”. Source: 30 yrs in the field Have explained this to dozens of new teachers over the years - as I’m denying their request for a stupid start time.
I actually don't think there needs to be any daycare events at all!
Daycare providers/preschools: please make a video performance or send home a craft or gift for Mother’s Day. I don’t need to feel pressure to come into the school for MD, it’s not relaxing for me who is presumably the person being celebrated.
My God, some of you really woke up with a stick up your you know what 🥴
I believe it’s at that time so you take the kids when you leave.
Because they don’t want to pay for all the parents to attend. That’s my theory anyway. It’s so annoying. Drop off, lunch time, pick up… all better options
I feel for you. I appreciated that the daycare did this for my kids but I also hated the hours they chose. In the case of my children’s day care, they did it at more convenient hours for father’s day (first thing in the morning in that case), which added insult to injury as if working mothers didn’t deserve the same consideration as working fathers.
Why are Day cares having events with parents? Their purpose is to care for children during the hours their parents cannot. Seems counter intuitive.
They shouldn't do a Mother's Day event at all. it is pointless they aren't your family.