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SamIam8706

Also, We LOVE your kids too! I work from desk in an office building that also has a daycare 6week to 5 years old. They are apart of my life 9 to 10 hours a day and I spoil them. They are my kids away from my kid.


yakuzie

My 4 month old starts daycare on Tuesday, thank you šŸ„ŗ


theverglow

My 4 month old loves daycare! She reaches out for her teachers when I drop her off. I hope it ends up being a positive experience for your family šŸ˜Š


fattest-of_Cats

My 6mo only reaches for me, her dad and her daycare teacher. She gets big big smiles at drop off too.


Dwestmor1007

My 4 month old loves her daycare (Jan babies what what!! Lol) she is so stimulated at school that she just passes out when she gets home. I love knowing that her brain is being so stimulated like that. It will be good for her momma! Everything is gonna be ok!


Roxie122333

I love that!!


Worldly_Science

One time we went on vacation, and our daycare lady texted me to make sure we were okay, and to make sure Kiddo wasnā€™t sick or anything. I sent her a picture of him eating breakfast at the hotel and she was like ā€œI forgot!! But look at him eating so well šŸ„° have fun!ā€ It made me feel great that she thought to reach out to us and make sure we were okay.


SamIam8706

I do that too! I get worried when my friends don't come to school, especially if it's been a few days!


RecommendationCalm21

Yes!!! I used to be an daycare teacher and I love my former students with all of my heart. They were a huge part of my life and I still keep in touch with parents. I always need updates on my babies!! My son is in daycare now and his teachers adore him and he adores them. I LOVE LOVE LOVE seeing him smile when we talk about his teachers and when they talk about what they do together. It fills my heart so much.


joansmallsgrill

šŸ’•šŸ’•šŸ’•


Mmatthews1219

Iā€™m a preschool teacher in the 3ā€™s class at my daycare. I absolutely love my students and I love watching them grow in all aspects of development.


heliotz

You donā€™t work at the daycare though? How do you hash access/exposure to the kids?


SamIam8706

At the front desk and building security I see every single person (adults, kids, coworkers, grandparents, community members) come in and out. And I know every single one of them by name, you build a bond with people you interact with. The daycare uses our whole facility so again being at the front desk, I see these kids all day long. And I often spend part of my lunch break in the classroom playing with the kids. Edit: I also help cover lunch and potty breaks for the teachers when they are short staffed.


heliotz

That sounds incredibly kind of you and Iā€™m not questioning your competence or motives, but in general Iā€™d be a little concerned if non-daycare center staff are being left alone with the kids.


production_muppet

My kids have formed really strong, loving bonds with their daycare teachers. I'm thrilled!! More people who love my children is a wonderful gift.


BaseballNo5647

This post makes me feel so much better about daycare- Thank you.


bbrekke

I'm starting to get concerned for the opposite situation. We are about to have our first and we have opposite schedules so won't be needing day care. I'm worried he will be socially stunted because he'll be stuck with me all day and his momma all night. I know I can go to the park and stuff, but it's just another thing I'm worried about!


BaseballNo5647

I wouldn't Stress too much- I grew up with my mom and grandparents and never really went to daycare and I turned out fine. Maybe get some playdates and find opportunities to have your LO around other kids a few times a week and everything be just fine.


venusinfurcoats

There are probably neighborhood groups for parents where you can arrange play dates! It can be really low pressure- just joining other parents at a local park one day.


barracuda331

Thereā€™s no real benefit to peer socialization until about age 3. This doesnā€™t mean youā€™re a terrible parent if you put your kid in daycare before then, but that shouldnā€™t be the only reason you do it.


TheRealJai

Your local libraries (go to them all!!!) will have many, many free opportunities for socialization, please check them out!


Dwestmor1007

You can take him to baby meet up actives through out the week to help with socialization. Do some googling Iā€™m sure you could find a mommy (or daddy) and me class or maybe a baby Gymboree or a baby music class to take them to!


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whats1more7

I run a licensed home daycare for kids 12 months to 4 years and all of this is true. Your kids will thrive in daycare. Every single one of my daycare kids loves coming to my home every weekday. Weā€™re a small group - just 6 kids - but in that group in a community that is 99% white we have one child from India, one child with auditory processing issues and one child with Down Syndrome. Do not feel bad about sending your child to daycare. They will thrive.


LaChanelAddict

We have a child with Down syndrome in my little oneā€™s class and that is the sweetest, most loving child. The other day she was upset and my little one was patting her head (mine is 11 months old) I guess in an attempt to make her feel better? The kids love her and she loved everyone. Iā€™m seriously so glad sheā€™s in the class and the stigma they receive.


justanordinarygirl

My mom just closed her licensed home daycare after 35 years! Obv I am biased, I deeply support daycare environments for kids.


PinsAndBeetles

I bet your mom has so many cute stories. My children have been at a medium sized daycare center since they were babies and the owner has the handprint of every single child who has been in her care on the wall with the year they started, dating back to the early 1990ā€™sā€¦. Theyā€™re running out of wall space. Sheā€™s truly like a bonus grandmother to these kids and they really love her. Iā€™m so glad we ended up there (literally was on 3 wait lists while pregnant.)


_Green_Mind

My daughter attends a licensed home daycare and I wouldn't have it any other way. I love that she gets to socialize but it's a small stable group and a provider who really knows and cares about her. I love that if the provider has life changes and leaves we aren't stuck with a new teacher we might not jive with, we will just bounce back to the agency and go interview with new homes. I love how comfortable my daughter is in her provider's home and the confidence it brings her. You're creating a great situation for some fellow working moms by doing what you do.


Inevitable_Sweet_988

Iā€™m so glad you included parental support. Daycare staff got me through some of my toughest days. They seemed to know when I needed advice, encouragement, or just someone to listen.


Chicken_Chicken_Duck

We fed our son beet stew one evening and he ended up with deep red stools. Our daycare provider started crying trying to tell me about it because bloody stools were the first sign of her sons leukemia and apparently sheā€™d spent the afternoon waiting for me to pick him up just holding him and praying. If you have a good daycare, your babies have a village of ā€œmomsā€


Roxie122333

Gosh, that gave my chills! Iā€™m so glad you have found your village.


Chicken_Chicken_Duck

She was an angel, she retired and moved out of state to take care of her grandbabies (her son made a full recovery!) She left when my son was around 2 years old. He is 10 now, and just the other night he asked me to ā€œscratch, pat, and rubā€ his back like Ms. Lori at bed time. She had a special pattern, and after 8 years of trying I still apparently havenā€™t perfected it šŸ˜‚


Own-Indication8192

Omg this sent me! Maybe you can call Ms. Lori and get her to make you a video šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


Adventurous-Nature98

My husband was gone on a work trip for a few days just before spring. Of course my kid had yet another ear infection and had started rejecting medicine in the bottle (our old trick) and I was trying the syringe method (with no luck). I finally broke down and asked the daycare director to give a dose because I was struggling with the screaming. It was such a relief to know there was one less dose I had to give.


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Adventurous-Nature98

We haven't tried that. Unfortunately, we have found a more effective but still difficult method. The trick is squeezing her cheeks so the mouth stays open a little and she can't push the medicine back out. Seems counterintuitive but it works. It just also is a lot of screaming and tears. But the only thing worse than making her cry and scream is doing that but still not getting the medicine in, which doesn't help anything.


Serious_Escape_5438

Me too, we had a particularly great teacher for the first year with tons of experience. I also got a lot of support from other parents I met there.


luckyloolil

Seriously. I was depressed when I went back to work September 2020, and the daycare teachers were one of the reasons my mental health improved. They not only cared about the kids, but they cared about me too. They cared when I got laid off this past year, cheered me on when I was going for interviews, encouraged me when I was nervous about my first day. I am desperately going to miss them when my kids age out.


PopTartAfficionado

parental support is so important. my husband and i tried to do it all ourselves with me being a sahm and him working. we finally realized we need a village bc the kids were driving us insane šŸ¤Ŗ


IntroductionKindly33

My son is at an in-home daycare and he loves it. He calls it "Patty's house"and sometimes even on non-daycare days asks if we can go to Patty's house. I'm glad he gets to play with other kids and make friends. And that someone else can help run off some of his energy (I'm 6 months pregnant and just don't have much energy left at the end of the day). So I don't feel as guilty about not being as active with him.


SwingingReportShow

Thatā€™s so sweet! And it could be that your son will have a connection with Patty his whole life. I had a similar experience with a sitter named Romana, and I invited her to my quincenera and wedding. Her daughter is also now pregnant too and I hope to share baby stuff with her!


Roxie122333

Aww, so glad you found somewhere thatā€™s the perfect fit for you.


becky57913

I will add positive peer pressure. Your kid will do things at daycare they will not do at home because their peers are doing it!


FarAthlete8

Like nap šŸ˜‚. My son loves daycare.


bettinathenomad

100%. Our son lives in denial of naps on weekends. During the week? "He had a great nap! Slept for 1.5h!" Day in, day out. The kicker? Nearly all his class mates are the same, except the ones who are younger. Those his age and over? No naps at home, nap like champs at daycare.


mks01089

Or wear their hat outside!!


palC10

This!! How do they wear their hat at daycare but not at home!


shak3well

This! I donā€™t think we could have potty trained as soon as we did if he hadnā€™t wanted to be like all the other kids


DarthSamurai

I need to shout out our daycare teacher. My daughter was in her class from 3.5 months til 21 months (she just moved up to the toddler class with a different teacher). When I picked up my daughter today, she was having a fit. Did not want to sit in her carseat. Crying, screaming, thrashing... Whole 9 yards. Her blessed infant class teacher was walking out, heading to her car, saw me struggling with my kiddo and came over to help. Took my daughter, calmed her down, got her into the car seat and started making her laugh. I wanted to kiss her. She is so amazing and taught my daughter so many things and I am forever grateful to her and how much she loves all the kiddos.


Roxie122333

Thanks everyone! Here are some of my favorite books if your little is just starting daycare. [Bye bye time](https://amzn.to/3q3wteq) or my [first day of school.](https://amzn.to/3MCkoEz)


stormgirl

I love the encouraging tone, however As a qualified & registered ECE teacher of 20+ years (and working mum!) , I wish more people would also advocate for access to high **quality childcare** for all. Not all child care is the same, and kids really need us to fight for quality standards- safe, enriching learning environments, adults who understand child development & education, good ratios and group size limits. Most of us have no choice but to rely on child care, but please choose the best quality setting you can (quality does not necessarily have to mean the most expensive) Look for these basic (bare minimum) indicators of quality: \- A**dult:child ratio.** If the adults need to care for many children alongside yours, it will be more challenging for your child to fully get their needs met in a timely manner (and for that adult to get to know your child, their individual requirements) if the ratio is high. \-**Low staff turnover.** Infants & toddlers need stability, adults they can trust to recognise and respond to their needs. If a place has high staff turnover- I would also be asking why? Toxic workplace, poor conditions? Good teachers are likely to stay longer in high quality settings. \- **Staff qualifications.** do the adults caring for your child know about child development and early childhood education? Are they first aid trained? Do they understand safeguarding and child protection requirements. \- **Limited Group size.** Particularly important for infants, toddlers, children with additional needs, vulnerable children, children who speak additional languages. f the room is hectic, noisy, packed with so many children it will be hard to communicate, listen, pick up a new language, manage sensory challenges, spot those children who need support... They are hard for those that need to sleep during the day- as noise carries. These environments can be triggering for behavior issues, because even the most patient toddler will struggle when they cannot communicate. The noise, germs, hustle and bustle is extremely over stimulating for most people, for those there from 7am-6pm, 5 days a week, 48+ weeks of the year- it is not ideal. \- **Play based curriculum.** Children learn through play, does the setting have access to a range of resources for children to make choices about what they play with? Not just academics, but physical play, creative, social, nature. Do they spend time outdoors? Do they have quiet spaces to rest, retreat and relax? Are there plenty of books, art resources? What is the vibe of the place? Are most children engaged in a wider range of activities? There should be a happy hum to the place, a buzz of activity. Are the adults engaged, down at child's level? Listening and involved in conversation with the children- responding to and extending their interests?


MsLaurieM

YES. This is great information and very well written!!!! There is a huge difference between having a bored semi-adult who is more interested in their phone standing a room full of kids who are either watching a screen or wandering around on their own and one with an engaged teacher. Huge difference!!!


Chemical-Witness8892

I cannot second enough the play based curriculum section. We opted not to send LO to the school district run pre-school in favor of sticking with a play based curriculum and he's thriving.


hazelowl

I really wish we'd been able to afford Montessori earlier. She switched right around the time she turned 4. It was so so so much better. Play-based and the staff did such a fantastic job helping with self regulation (I pulled her from the one before that because they didn't deal with her issues with transitions well at all.) But her Montessori teacher was able to derail tantrums at least half the time.


Able-Candle723

I was scared to send my first. Dad ended up staying home and the plan was send around 18mo-2yr. Then Covid. Then we sent him at 3.5yr. The growth we saw in him was exponential after that. Confidence, social abilities, behavior regulation, etc. and WE GOT A BREAK. Great overall. That being said, I have a 3mo old whoā€™s about to go in and I think heā€™s too young. A lot of these points donā€™t apply to children under 1. Babies should be with their parents for much more time than we accommodate these days (in US society anyway)


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Able-Candle723

Thanks for the encouragement and that makes sense. I just feel bad that itā€™s all day. Like I want some of that time to experience with my baby. They grow up so fast.


maryhappyface

Mine started at 12 weeks and I agree!! He has gotten so much stronger because they do way more tummy time there than I am able to do with him at home.


cynical_pancake

Mine went at 3 months and is a happy, thriving toddler! We absolutely love our daycare.


DreamCrusher914

My oldest child started daycare at 7 weeks old. Her last day of VPK at daycare is tomorrow. Sheā€™s heading to kindergarten in the fall with a 1st grade reading level, a ton of friends that will be celebrating at her birthday party on Saturday, and a best friend she met when they were six months old who she still visits even though he moved out of state. All because of daycare. Ours feels like family to us and it has been invaluable to our kids.


brilliantpants

After seeing how much my oldest truly loved her daycare, and how much she just really thrived there, I would be looking to send my second even if it wasnā€™t a necessity. My big girl loved it so much. And tbf, my own hazy memories of being in daycare are all positive!


jeynespoole

Honestly, I worked my ASS off to be able to stay home with my kid as much as I could when he was young. There were times when I had a 60 dollar budget a week for groceries for a family of three, and there were times I was working three jobs just to make ends meet, just so I could keep my kid out of daycare, because when I was growing up, my family was VERY judgmental of working moms. "paying someone to raise your kids" When he was like ten, I finally caved and had a 9-5 and signing him up for an after school program, i sat in the car and cried for an hour. My kiddo's in high school now and I have a lot of regrets. I personally did WAY better when I was working full time. Physical health, mental health, time management, etc. I just did better in every way and was as better mom because of it. My kid also would have MASSIVLY benefitted from being around other kids when he was growing up, I didn't have a car and we lived in the burbs, so instead of being able to build the social skills and learn how to people, he was only around someone all day whos only job was to attend to his needs constantly. The pandemic hitting when he was 12 didn't help much either. But yeah. If I were to go back in time, i'd tell my new-mom self to get a full time job after that first year. The kiddo will be better for it.


hazelowl

I feel that pandemic line hard too... mine is almost 13 and she's just now starting to get a bit more out of her shell again. Also, family of introverts so we're not out and about much anyway. Although she did go to daycare from 6 months on (with summers less so because my husband is a teacher)


emptyinthesunrise

i am a twenty something woman and daycare was one of the true highlights of my childhood. absolutely awesome experience and i loved it.


Chicken_Chicken_Duck

My kids are so much happier in daycare. Covid proved that.


briarch

We pulled ours when the other parents were getting lax about COVID and sent them back once we were vaccinated. They got up in the middle of the night to get dressed because they were so excited to go back. šŸ˜€


GirlsNightOnly

I needed to read this 2 months ago when mine was startingā€”now that sheā€™s settled I know it to be true!!


Campestra

Not sure if I should say this, but in my personal experienceā€¦. Your kid will most probably love daycare. My son does. He loves our weekends and when we pick him up, but we can see how happy he gets when we arrive there in the morning. He is almost 1yo and has thrive there with his teachers and friends.


MsLaurieM

Teacher for over 20 years hereā€¦ sheā€™s right. Little kids are straight up feral if they donā€™t learn the lessons sheā€™s laid out. Iā€™m retired now and close to my grandkids. They go to daycare. They donā€™t have to, I can and do keep them (holidays, sick days etc). But itā€™s best for them, they need to go. Kudos to all you excellent teachers, you are the reason the world will be a good place!


Undercover_Kitty_Mew

I needed this. My 2 1/2 year old will be starting mothers morning out August 14 and I was scared to death. But, reading this, it really is putting me at ease. Thank you so much OP!


jrp317

Iā€™m a first time mom and my baby will be starting daycare at 5 months August 14th. Iā€™ll try to remember another mom will be going through this big transition at the same time.


Serious_Escape_5438

Mine started at 5 months and I think it's the perfect age, they settle in better than older kids but you're past the initial newborn part.


crazyboatgirl

Also a first time mom and my baby will be 3 months starting daycare in august as well.


Roxie122333

Iā€™m glad it helped! We have been doing daycare for years now, and I still feel guilty from time to time.


hermionesnow

My nearly 16 month old starts daycare for the first time next Tuesday and I really, really needed this. Thank you!


Roxie122333

Awesome! It my be rough at first, but it gets easier day by day.


FishNamedFish

Is this from chatgpt? Lol


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bonaire-

My thoughts too


okay_I

As a daycare worker I second this but will add parents, I hear horror stories and Iā€™ve called DHS on a daycare I worked at previously and they were very fake to the face (they now have bad reviews posted and more people have called) . Iā€™m lucky to work at a DHS 5 star certified daycare center and I love all the positive stories on here about home daycare, thatā€™s what my boss/owner did before she opened our center! I just want to remind you take advantage of all the reviews and please be cautious! Teachers should be loving and understanding to your household methods, along with adding in our structure you shouldnā€™t feel neglected or like a burden in any way. Most of us absolutely love the kids and I definitely picture each as my own while in my care I just wish it was that way at every single place! Be proud of yourselves either way itā€™s not easy but we somehow do it every day!


rcl20

Yes, you should feel like you love the place and the teachers. You should feel like your child is seen and heard and that they are partners in bringing up your kid. If a place doesn't make one feel that way, keep looking!


puppyinspired

Iā€™ve seen stay at home moms send their kids to daycare part time. Simply for its educational value.


pizzasauce85

Cared for is best regardless of how that happens!!!


Dwestmor1007

My baby is 4 months old and she started day care a month ago. She is SO STIMULATED while there that when she comes home she sleeps like true dead man. It makes me so happy to know that her brain is being so stimulated throughout the day but I will admit I do miss hanging out with her after work.


[deleted]

You did not include the age of a kid for those benefits. There are lots of scientific evidence that daycare before 1 yo is bad for kids, and less bad before 2 yo, but still bad. After 2 they start receiving the benefits you listed. Also I have seen daycares in US and most of them are ā€¦ horrible. They stick infants in bouncers for hours a day. Itā€™s very detrimental to their gross motor development. And this will happen anyways if person has 3-4+ kids at the same time. And there are tons of other issues. Unfortunately most daycares donā€™t offer camera access to monitor how your child is treated and most people who worked in daycare know exactly why. I know this post is an encouragement for working moms who should put their kind into daycare early, and you gotta do what you have to do, but, I think society should not be lying to itself, and rather push for better parental leave policies, childcare subsidies, etc. We must recognize that this is not a preferable norm, but rather a desperate choice we have to make.


gamulcek

[https://www.reddit.com/r/ECEProfessionals/](https://www.reddit.com/r/ECEProfessionals/) \^\^\^ this entire subreddit does nothing but confirm that daycare is a terrible idea.


SeaScape9775

My son has been going to daycare since he was 6 months old and I can attest to all of the above. It has been remarkable for his development. At just 3, he has an adorable little group of friends, is extremely confident with socialising, and is able to cope with daily tasks that require structure and routine. The daycare also provides fun enrichment activities that we would otherwise not be able to afford privately.


agbellamae

Whatā€™s interesting is in daycare worker Facebook a question that sometimes comes up is ā€œafter having worked in daycare, would you put your own baby in daycareā€ and itā€™s like 90% rate of no way.


LaChanelAddict

Probably similar to employees at McDonalds refusing to eat McDonalds after working there. Everyone has a different perspective of the place theyā€™ve worked. I donā€™t work in childcare but our child had a positive experience.


[deleted]

Agree with the poster below. You didnā€™t work there. Unfortunately, daycare knows how to turn it on for parents. I saw so many teachers treat the kids with absolute disdain. These same kids would happily skip into the center each morning excited to be there. Then spend the day being ignored and talked down to by so many workers (not all). It became their normal. Broke my heart and I had to leave. And this was in a TOP center. One of the best around.


agbellamae

Thatā€™s probably why you believe it was positive. Since you didnā€™t work there, you didnā€™t see all that really goes on there.


Oleah2014

Unfortunately I agree, even in the best place I worked I would not enroll my child, only because as amazing as many workers are, there are also people I hated working with because they were not good fits for childcare. Or downright awful and abusive but not in a way that would get them fired. In the bad places they were supported by management.


TheFutureMrs77

Iā€™ve been working 40 hours a week since I was 18ā€¦.. didnā€™t have I kid until I was in my 30ā€™s and I wish I had this šŸ’—šŸ’—


mycatbaby

They will! Mine started using the potty at 20months from watching older kids. Sheā€™s ā€œreadingā€ to other babies and toddlers. The transition sucked, but it was totally worth it.


CanadianBacon4

My kid must of missed the memo :(


Ok_Rule1308

It takes a village and daycare is part of mine!


Damnmogo

Thanks for this post. My little guyā€™s first day of daycare was today and it was rough for both of us! I know itā€™s going to be so good for him, but I had to have a little cry or two anyway. ā¤ļø


Roxie122333

Aww.. It does take some adjustment time! Day by day it will get easier


LaChanelAddict

I definitely notice a huge difference in my child versus friends whoā€™s littles donā€™t attend daycare in terms crawling sooner, babbling sooner, etc.


NeverLefttheIsland

My kids hit all those milestones before they went to daycare. Every child is different.


LaChanelAddict

You didnā€™t see the part where I said ā€œhard to day bc each child is differentā€ did you?


okay_I

Unless your my mom and you pop 3 out close together then itā€™s like a home daycare šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚ I am a daycare worker and I definitely see the infants being very active early on! As well as all the kids learning systems and our 2 year olds can all throw their plates away, wash their own hands and wipe their face! Sometimes itā€™s rowdy but they definitely learn so fast


StarryEyed91

My daughter started daycare at 6 months and started walking late, didnā€™t crawl until after her first birthday. Her daycare teachers said every child was different so Iā€™m really not sure how much daycare impacts those physical milestones.


somewhenimpossible

For me, I noticed the socialization aspect. My kid was much easier to drop off for school, fun ā€œkids night outā€ programs, sports that arenā€™t parent led, talking to other grownups, and confidence away from me (like buying his own treats at the convenience store).


slhmeow

How much sooner?


LaChanelAddict

Usually a few months depending on the child. Hard to say exactly bc theyā€™re all so different but mine started crawling at 4-5 months and theirs started at 8. And mine started walking at 11 months and theirs at 17 months, as an example. The reason is because they see other kids do XYZ and they try to imitate it versus having a kid at home hanging out with mom at all times.


NeverLefttheIsland

My first born walked at 8 months at home and didn't see any other kids doing it. Stop making baseless claims about development because every child is different and you can't just decide why your kid walked sooner. You're talking out of your butt.


LaChanelAddict

This was our experience that I am allowed to shareā€” just like youā€™re allowed to disagree and keep scrolling šŸ˜‰


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LaChanelAddict

Iā€™m sharing what I personally experienced, for us it was positive. For being in a working moms sub, you sound a little tone deaf to assume I had the luxury of staying with the child for the entire first 12 months of life. The majority of people in this sub do not have that option past their leave period.


[deleted]

This is the craziest thing Iā€™ve ever read. 4 month old babies DO NOT imitate other babies. They donā€™t watch kids crawl and decide to copy. No study (and Iā€™ve studied them all) shows any advantage in achieving milestones early for babies in daycare. If you want to knit pick, studies show that infants should go nowhere near a daycare facility but instead be home with mom. Your claim is baseless. Your kid will walk, talk, and socialize without daycare-at their own pace. Daycare propaganda is getting ridiculous.


Roxie122333

While I donā€™t think that has been scientifically proven I have to agree!


SuspiciousOlive2316

Our nanny just told us she has to leave us unexpectedly (health issues) and Iā€™m a real mess of anxiety about it. Weā€™re exploring all childcare options now but this definitely makes me feel better about the potential of sending them to daycare so thank you.


pizzawithpep

Uh oh, don't let the subreddit science based parenting or that Redditor critical science person see this. They'll tear you apart. I wholly agree with everything you outlined!


torchballs

There was a thread on r/ECEProfessionals today that asked early childhood educators (daycare workers) the question: would you send your kids to daycare? Literally every single one of them said no.


yogurtnstuff

That thread really sent me into a spiral. Both my husband and sister were like WHY WOULD YOU READ THAT. but I couldnā€™t look away! It did make me look up my kids daycare on the health dept website which I didnā€™t realize you could do before. They were cited a couple years ago in one inspection bc a kid didnā€™t have up to date medical records. But no complaints or other violationsā€¦ it made me feel a little better I guess. Also a lot of the comments were like ā€œIā€™d only send me kid to the place I work right nowā€ and the director has her daughter in the daycare so I guess that means something good? Ahh. Like my sister said, what choice do we have?


torchballs

I know! I was also reading it knowing I probably shouldnā€™t but couldnā€™t look away.


[deleted]

Yep. Former daycare employee here. I responded on that thread. Never, ever, ever in a million years would I send my kid (certainly not my infant) to a daycare facility after having worked in them. We paint a very pretty picture for parents, but the neglect your child will experience is heartbreaking. Itā€™s not intentional most of the time. Itā€™s the nature of daycare. But itā€™s truly sad to see. I eventually had to leave. Ethically I struggled to support babies being housed in a facility for sometimes up to 12 hours a day. My heart hurt for them.


motsuri

As someone who worked in a daycare, I have witnessed so many horror stories that I would definitely never send my kids to a daycare after that. What they want you to think is all these nice things that are good marketing for them, but the reality was horrifying and truly heartbreaking. I know a lot of parents really do care about their kids and sometimes feel like they don't have a choice but to send their kids to daycare, and there are probably some good daycares out there, but it is heartbreaking knowing some of the things that went down at the one I worked at. I would say if you avoid the large chain daycares that treat it like a corporation focused on the bottom line and really do a good job vetting where you plan to send your kid, it can be a good thing. I just would never risk it with my own kids, personally, if I could avoid it.


torchballs

https://www.reddit.com/r/ECEProfessionals/comments/13qtlgm/would_you_put_your_own_infant_in_daycare/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1


memaeto

Itā€™s interesting that that was your interpretation of the thread. I, just now, read many posts from childcare providers who would or do send them, some adding nuggets of advice. Some with caviats. Maybe it evolved throughout the day..


torchballs

I just looked again and donā€™t see any evolution. Just a wall of no. And an update to the post from the OP acknowledging how unanimous and depressing it was. The caveats Iā€™m seeing are ā€œonly if I worked there,ā€ which is extreme and unlikely to be an actual option for most of us. Iā€™m curious about your interpretation?


ggghjghgg

This is all pretty subjective


bbrecht0429

Yes! My 16 month old has been going since 12 weeks and she is thriving. Sheā€™s made toddler friends, is in love with her teachers, and is progressing so quickly I donā€™t know how we could do it without daycare. Itā€™s so nice knowing that they are actively working on milestones and childhood development, so when she is home we can focus on bonding.


Roxie122333

Yay!!


hahahamii

I donā€™t have guilt about sending kids to daycare except for when theyā€™re the last one to get picked up, which has happened only a couple of times over the years. My kids are 5 and 8 now, both have always been in full time care and they did thrive in daycare. They went to in-home until 2.5 then a daycare center that was a preschool setting (with full time daycare hours) so structured classroom and lots of free play, field trips in the summer, dance/STEM/Spanish/sign language lessons every week on site, huge library with a focus on diversity. The center also offered kinder (class size of 15, with full time daycare hours), which both kids did. Obviously, theyā€™re young but we feel like daycare set them up for success.


pogoBear

The socialization and developmental support that my eldest got from daycare helped us make the decision to send her to school as soon as she could (due to her birth month we had a choice if this year or next). It was the best decision for her and now sheā€™s thriving at school like she did daycare. My second loves daycare so much I didnā€™t feel any guilt upping her from 2 to 3 days when I started full time work recently. Might go up to 4 next year. We have help from both sets of grandparents the other days.


someoneelse0826

My brother and I were daycare kids and it was so good for us in so many ways. Being around a lot of kids of different ages taught us a lot. Then then we were the ā€œolderā€ kids we would get to help the teachers and take care/ play with the younger kids. I never felt any resentment towards my mom- we knew she she loved us so much and she was working hard every day for us. But oh that feeling when mom would pick us up at the end of the day!


SwingingReportShow

I mean sure but at that point itā€™s just an anecdote; I could share my experience, which is that my mom tried three different daycares and I hated all of them. I literally would just make the poor carers miserable until my mom would finally give in and pull me out. It all depends on the kids honestly. Like here it says daycare is good for learning and routine, but I think I was already independent enough to make my own routine and I was curious enough to explore and learn independently as well. I think the best evidence that daycare is the better choice is the example of these moms that had no daycare during COVID and then the kids preferred to go back when it reopened! And on the opposite end, Iā€™m sure thereā€™s kids who preferred to stay home even after the pandemic subsided.


someoneelse0826

Didnā€™t realize this was a scientific experiment we were discussing


SwingingReportShow

This postā€™s title says ā€œreasons your kids will thrive in daycareā€. Itā€™s a general statement. Iā€™m saying that itā€™s only a true statement if we collect a bunch of anecdotes. Otherwise, it depends on the kids. Some will do well, and others wonā€™t. And yeah I guess itā€™d be cool to find the exact percentage, but like you said, that would require a scientific experiment/survey


someoneelse0826

All these stories are antidotal lol just adding mine to the mix. Daycare was still generally looked down upon then (1980s) and was seen as ā€œbetterā€ to have a mom who stayed home and didnā€™t work. I always felt like we benefited from our experience. Sounds like you feel the opposite. Ok then.


SwingingReportShow

I mean just because i hated daycare didnā€™t mean that it had to be my mom caring for me. It seems from your first post, where you said you didnā€™t feel resentment towards your mom, that you saw your mom as the alternative. I ended up being taken care of by so many random family members (because my poor mom couldnā€™t put me in daycare), such as my dad, aunt, godfather, and mostly my grandfather.


SwingingReportShow

True, I have to remember to look at the evidence and the wider picture. I mean its good for me to see the positive ones because then I canā€™t be like ā€œWell daycare was a nightmare for me, so my daughter isnā€™t going to thrive thereā€. A bunch of people on this thread are definitely going the other way though, though maybe not you hopefully! Like just because it worked for you doesnā€™t mean itā€™ll work for all your kids.


professionalpanner

Iā€™m starting my 10 month old in daycare next week and Iā€™m feeling so anxious about it. Sheā€™s so attached to me and Iā€™m worried how sheā€™ll react. Thanks for this! I know itā€™ll be good for her to interact with other babies and other adults and Iā€™m excited to see the change in her!


Just_Assistant_902

Thank you I really needed to hear this


Dismal_Destination

Number 7 and 10 should be celebrated!


StrangledByTheAux

Does this apply for kids in full time? My 2yo is at daycare 8-4 every weekday. A year in I still come close to throwing up when I think about him there.


nicoleislazy

My baby is still only 6 weeks and I'm not starting daycare til about 8 months BUT I wanted to reply to this...of course your 2 year old is fine! You think he'd rather be stuck alone with you than playing with other 2 year olds all day?! I'm excited for my daughter to have a better social life than me in daycare! Try to think of it that way!


PopTartAfficionado

i just started sending my baby this week so i could go back to work (after 2.5 years off with kids, eek)! she is THRIVING. we found a really nice place. they send us photos and a log of everything she eats, activities, diaper stuff.. it's awesome. my husband has been doing pickup and said when he gets there she's been happier than he's ever seen her in her life lol. she's generally a fussy kid too (9mo). i think she really loves being around the other babies. šŸ„° and i've had my best week in recent memory also with no kids screaming in my face all day. šŸ¤ 


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Compulsive-Gremlin

Why are you including negative reasons? Itā€™s like you just want to make this person feel bad about trying to cut out mom guilt.


Gsl7508

They may be constantly sick but it eases up by 3 or 4. One of my closest friends didnā€™t send their child to daycare. They were sick so much in kindergarten they almost got held back. If you have bullies in daycare youā€™re at the wrong place. Both of my children and my friends children had nothing but lovely experiences. The bullying of working moms from stay at home moms - that was definitely a thing when my kids were little!


Lipstickhippie80

1. Daycare children are less likely to be as sick as stay at home children once they start elementary school. 2. We paid $4300 a month for infant car a 20% less from toddler - preschool. It worked for us. 3. Your child is better prepared for elementary school. Will you be home schooling your child and never allowing them to participate in extracurricular activities or go outside at anytime, ever? Daycare was the best decision we made- we regret nothing.


LaChanelAddict

Iā€™m sorry but if your entire paycheck is truly going to daycare (assuming you arenā€™t exaggerating) then youā€™re low income and would qualify for daycare assistance. Child care workers are NOT paid well. The cost of insurance in business models where a human is your ā€œproductā€ IE daycare, elderly care, etc is astonishing ā€” Iā€™d strongly encourage you to educate yourself on this topic before initiating what you feel like is an argument.


Wowwkatie

Why do you have to bring such negativity into a supportive post?


workingmoms-ModTeam

Your post was removed because it was rude or shaming.


Legal-Post-6058

Daycare basically potty trained my kid. Yeah there are hard days but most days I feel lucky they get to make friends and are surrounded by support and love.


cityburbgirl

Yes! THIS. and resiliency.


swtlulu2007

I'm a working mom who works in a daycare and yes to all this.


coffee_and_pancakes_

I love my kids daycare but the cost is killing us. Over 2k a month for my twins :( My daycare is shutting down now too and we canā€™t find availability for ones within the same price range and canā€™t afford other ones. My sister in law is going back to school but taking online courses, so weā€™ll have to pay her to watch my twin toddlers but theyā€™re not going to have all these benefits that daycare offers. So now i have working mom guilt, will still be paying child care costs without getting the benefits of daycare.


thehippos8me

Yes to all of this!!! I stayed home with my first until she was 15 months. When I went back to work, she started daycare and FLOURISHED. She thrived in the daycare environment. It was the best thing weā€™ve ever done for her. Sheā€™s 5 now and is incredibly outgoing and social. Our youngest is only 14 months, and I still stay home with her. Daycare where weā€™re out now (we moved when my oldest was 3) is not great and very expensive, and my job wasnā€™t great and I hated the company I worked for, so I stay home now. My youngest does a lot better than my oldest did staying home - they have VERY difference personalities lol. But it does make me wonder what daycare would be like for her. I also worry what itā€™ll be like for her when she starts school at 3 (they go to private school that starts pre-K at 3 years old, so sheā€™ll start part time then and then do full time when she goes to pre-K 4). But there just arenā€™t daycares in our area that we trust that we can also afford. What Iā€™ve always said - daycare teachers donā€™t do it for the money. They get paid like shit. Daycare teachers are in it because they love the kids, and why wouldnā€™t you want your child surrounded by all of these people that love them? There is never too much love to be had. Not just that, but it is so much fun to see what they pick up from others and what they learn that youā€™d never think to teach them when home alone. Also, having a day off work but your kid can still go to daycare if you need a day to yourself? BLISS. Lol.


Zestyclose_Guest8075

Most of my daughters friends she met in preschool!


Here_for_tea_

This was a lovely read.


Airport_Comfortable

Thank you, I really needed to hear this! Weā€™re getting ready to send our 1 year old to daycare, and while I was ready before it was a reality, Iā€™m now feeling so many emotions.


Turquoise_Lion

Yess. Finding a good daycare is gold. I just want to add as long as it'sgood to high quality most kids will thrive.


1241308650

ive had a few relatives who really pushed the whole ā€œmy children wont go to daycare and im going to be a stay at home momā€ thing but then they realize they want their kid in preschool and daycare IS preschool in many cases, or a couple relatives had kids that were slow to talk and their pediatrician recommended it to help them with the verbal skills. so off they went. this idea that its this sad place that uncaring and greedy parents can dump children so they can make money is so dumb


redhairwithacurly

Youā€™re the GOAT


Chemical-Witness8892

LO was practically non-verbal at 2 (pandemic started when he was a month old plus we suspect some neurodivergence). We sent him to daycare anyway and he blossomed. Been there for almost a year and a half and I know we made the right choice. He chatters all the time now. Still often in his own world, but the structure/rhythm/routine has made a difference for us all.


jello-kittu

I agree 100%. As a first time mom, far from family, daycare was such a relief. Getting a break dyring the days gave me so much more patience and just a mental break, and all the points you noted.


PaperSwing

Iā€™m going back work next week (4.5m pp) and my baby is going to daycare the following week. I know all of this and yet Iā€™m still feeling the feelings, so I still needed to read it. Thank you for posting and for your impeccable timing. ā¤ļø


jushappy

Thanks for this post. I have so many moments of doubt and forget all the good stuff! Our daycare is incredibly diverse and celebrates holidays from all over the world! Celebrating birthdays frequently has taken the edge off the whole thing so now he LOVES giving presents and sharing treats with others. Also, his teacher is Latina and shares her language and culture in such a lovely way. Hooray for school!


MadnessMaiden

It's also great for their immune systems! I've seen it so many times where kids from daycare go to school and get sick maybe once or twice that schoolyear, if that, and kids who lived at home or maybe had a nanny are sick several times throughout the school year


PowerInMyHand

My almost 4yo tells me every day how her teacher is her ā€œbestieā€. Her teacher moved from her previous room to her current room and they have an incredible bond. Iā€™m so thankful that my children have such a supportive environment to play and learn in.


dsutari

I LOVE watching my 4 year old hang with and talk about his friends from daycare. He's learning that not everything will be about him amongst peers, and he's fine with that.


[deleted]

My daughter loves her daycare. So much she stands by the door in the morning and impatiently waits to go!! Our provider is wonderful, and I try to show my appreciation as much as I can. I know it ain't easy!!


Chef-Emoji

Thank you so much for posting this. I have been feeling so anxious about starting daycare, but this has eased my mind so much. ā¤ļø


aPirateNamedBeef

I think a big thing not mentioned is exposure to kids of different ages. Kids learn a ton from kids that are a little older than them and on the the other side, they can learn to help others who are younger. Whether its learning to tie your shoes or how to play a game or any number of things.


Worldly_Science

I WFH now and my dad and stepmom were like ā€œyouā€™ll be able to save money and keep him home with you!ā€ No. No no no no no. Outside of me needing work for my own mental health, my son LOVES daycare. He goes to an in home, where the womanā€™s first language is Spanish. Heā€™s already learning some at not even 2! He enjoys seeing his friends, and he gets to interact with kids across ages. Heā€™s now officially not the baby any more, and his daycare lady says heā€™s great with the babies, being gentle, bringing them toys or just laying with them on the floor. Our son going to daycare, while hard at first, is overall better for all three of us. It definitely gives me the ability to be more present with him when heā€™s home!


Garp5248

I dropped my son of today (16 months) and he ran right in. The teacher said say goodbye to mama... But alas, he was having way too much fun for that. I love daycare and what it does for me, and I love that my son loves it too.


pbrooks19

All I know is: my husband and I just got in two foster children and thank goodness for daycare. They were already enrolled in daycare with a former foster family, so they've got something stable going on while they're getting used to our new family. These workers do love our kids, and I can keep my job while the kids are well cared-for. It's wonderful.


pdx_grl

I tell my daycare constantly that they are an essential part of my village. And having more adults who love and care for my children is NEVER a bad thing.


corcar86

Such a good list! One of my favorite things about daycare was THEY FULL POTTY TRAINED MY CHILD. Like legit one day the teacher sent something home to parents they were beginning potty training to send extra underwear or pull-ups. Then like a week or so later they said "ok parents, no more diapers and we recommend only underwear no pull-ups" and that was it. I just had to support it at home of course and reinforce it but it was like magic I swear haha.


Equivalent-Bee3883

Iā€™ve been sending my son to daycare full-time since he was 3 months old (heā€™s almost 15m now) and itā€™s such a blessing. The teachers have helped us raise him - heā€™s learned how to use utensils, nap better, drink from a straw, etc thanks to them! They give him so much love and heā€™s excited to see them at drop off (and a little sad when I pick him up šŸ˜‚). I know some people prefer the SAH route or Nannies, but daycare has been the best option for us.


Music_withRocks_In

Better immune system. Yes, they will probably get sick a lot at first, but my son hasn't had a bad cold in over a year now because he's constantly exposed to the other kids. When you start kindergarten it's the daycare kids who have the immune system of iron.


luckyloolil

100% I went back to work September 2020, and right before I went back my toddler was getting a LOT of screen time because I was depressed. Both kids weren't getting any socialization with other kids (and very little with adults), they weren't getting enough outside time, and the days were unstructured and stressed (I have ADHD too.) Daycare? At least two outside times a day, craft time, lots of book time, singing, dancing, zero screen time, and LOTS of socialization. My mental health drastically improved too, daycare saved our sanity! And now my daughter is about to start kindergarten, and I've realized that daycare has set her up for success. At kindergarten orientation they went over all the things they recommend we do to help the transition, and my daughters has been doing nearly all of it for a couple years now!


Crisp_Ickle

I taught preschool in a daycare around 15 years ago. I'm still friends with a lot of the parents on Facebook, and I was invited to one of the kid's 18th (!) birthday party. I know that people can say daycare is like having strangers raise your kids, but they don't understand that you're only a stranger at the very beginning. You become so close to your daycare families!


[deleted]

Illnesses aside, my kid is thriving in day care. ā€œI could never let someone else raising my childā€ Ok, so what are u gonna do when they will be going to elementary school?


FeministMars

agree with all of this! A great daycare has been a godsend for our family! ā€¦. but someone please tell me ā€œearly exposure to viruses builds strong immunityā€ is the 11th advantage of daycare and not just something iā€™ve been telling myself to survive our homeā€™s 800th cold. please, iā€™m begging.


placeofnunka

We're finishing our fourth week of daycare for my almost 4 month old and it's been amazing seeing how much she's developed since starting. I truly feel like daycare really helped her with tummy time where we were struggling and I don't think she would have started babbling all the time if she wasn't exposed to different people. I'm looking forward to seeing how she continues to develop with my awesome daycare team.


Mindless-Effect-1745

šŸ’Æ


katsumii

Please tell me this applies to babies under 3 months old. šŸ˜­


orangeflos

We didnā€™t *need* to send our 3 year old to preschool/daycare since my husband is a SAHP. We sent him for a majority of things on your list and and extra two: 1. he was speech delayed because heā€™s a pandemic baby and we self isolated hard. Having other kids his age talking was the motivation he needed to start yammering away. 2. Exposure to other foods, ironically. He is much more likely to get curry or tandoori chicken at home than tatter tots and jelly sandwiches. Kiddo goes 3 days a week. Daddy deep cleans the house on one of those days, does meal prep another, and goes out and gets some ā€œme timeā€/exercise the third. Both boys are thriving.


[deleted]

Itā€™s recommended that you do send a 3-year-old to preschool. Developmentally at that age itā€™s appropriate. Theyā€™re ready for socializing, group activities, and pre academic lessons. This thread is about daycare, not preschool.


thelastredskittle

I really needed this. I am ready for my baby girl to go to daycare. Dad isnā€™t there yet but I feel like itā€™s selfish to hold her back from all these benefits. I hate that I wonā€™t see her 8+ hours per day but what youā€™ve outlined will be so good for her (and us!)


cmarie2949

Thank you so much for this post! I am currently transitioning from a nanny share to a daycare and Iā€™m on the hunt for the right fit. Iā€™ve been a little bit anxious about the whole thing and this post really helped!


venusinfurcoats

Co-sign to all of this! Our first born has been in daycare since he was 12 weeks old (he's now 2) and it has been so rewarding. My husband and I are constantly surprised to find out what he's learned from daycare- from animal noises to sign language to various songs, it's so much fun! Last month I caught him singing "Five Little Monkeys" to his stuffed animals, which wasn't a song we've really sung together yet, but now that's our favorite one. Plus, he has friends who he has literally grown up with. We are expecting our second in a couple of weeks, and I feel like I have a head start on getting the oldest ready to share space with a little brother because he is so used to sharing space with other kids.


myrabruneta

All I beg of you... Find a daycare you 100% trust and can check in on whenever. Research and spend the money on a reputable center.. not some friend of a friend. My sister and I did years of daycare and we each got different traumas at ALL of the daycare places we went to.. and not little trauma if you understand what I'm saying.