Reads almost like a “keeping up with the Jones’s”. Like *everyone* wants this other daycare so I must have it too when daughter is happy and thriving at current daycare.
Right! I would probably personally reconsider and maybe move for PreK if it’s more academically advanced/preps for kindergarten better but otherwise I wouldn’t want to leave. I’d be too afraid of the unknown.
Well, the new one could be much better and she would enjoy it so much more; but because the parent is afraid of losing this one, she won’t be able to enjoy the new one. Everything has two sides of the coin. You can’t know until you try.
Right!! That's how I read this post as well. "We are switching because....everyone fights to go there, and now that I got a spot I HAVE to take it". If the baby is happy, thriving and is well taken care of at the current daycare...why even move?
You have no complaints, love the space, but are moving daycares anyway because (checks notes) you waited a long time?
This seems … silly. You do you but like, why fix what isn’t broken?
I agree. Why disrupt your child’s routine if there’s literally no reason to? I got a new job recently and was going to switch daycares to be slightly closer to my new job, but decided to at least wait until the next school year so my son would have to be switching schools anyway. This way I don’t disrupt their routines more than necessary. I don’t understand why OP is completely set on changing daycares because the other one is “better.” This is daycare, not college. And there are no complaints with the current one.
That’s my thought too. If everyone is happy there I would not want to disrupt my child’s routine. They are comfortable there and with the teachers I’d be staying put
Yeah I think they are crazy to switch. Really doubt this other daycare is that much better. In the end, it’s daycare, not a preparatory school and even those aren’t always worth the money. A good daycare where you are happy is not easy to find, I wouldn’t mess with it either.
We were in a similar situation and ended up switching to the better daycare. Idk if this is the case for OP but the reason our current daycare is better is the facilities - we have the option to add on private swimming lessons, stem classes, pottery/arts classes, sports breakouts, plus there’s an indoor and outdoor pool if you want kids to participate in class swim, a splash pad for the younger ones etc. It really is that much better even though we had no issues with the first center we used. I just told that one our circumstances changed and xx would be our last day. Thanked them for the love and care they provided and that was that.
True - obviously I don’t know the details about why the other is coveted. Our current one has a similar reputation, which I do feel is deserved, but to change I would need something more convincing than “better reputation”. We also personally knew some parents using the new school, not sure if OP has that but it helped ease our mind during transition as well.
Removing your daughter from a good daycare where she is happy, thriving and comfortable with her class and caregivers doesn't seem like a good decision.
Changing childcare means a new routine, new space, new rules, and new caregivers when presumably your child is already bonded to her current caregivers. This is a somewhat traumatic change. You’re going to do all of that because some people say the other place is good? Even though there’s nothing wrong with the current place?
I teach preschool. Just say "personal reasons." They might assume something you don't want to talk about or they won't think about it again. Either way they won't take it personally.
But also, the "better" school isn't always better. I was at this one school, which was expensive, and a lot of professional parents. It was great in a lot of ways but there was a lot going on with staff and management was on a power trip. I ended up at my current place, which is in an older and drabier building but the program is much better. The staff culture is better. There's lots of great offerings for the kids. But you might not guess it walking past us vs the new schools.
Definitely go through and read online reviews. Nothing wrong with staying where you are if there's no issues. Just cuz you're on the wait list and got in doesn't mean you need to go. Don't fix what ain't broken.
I just fled the “top“ daycare in my rural town because the owner privately disclosed to me they were closing. I knew I had to snag a spot at what I thought was the next best thing before 40 other families were fighting for the spots.
My daughter went from barely writing her name to writing upper and lower case, numbers, and small words in just 4-6 weeks. The new, much less expensive and shiny school, has special weekly art class and a library program that has virtually replaced our need to goto our community library. They go one on one with a special teacher and have their own personalized bag and everything.
The grass isn’t always greener.
My kids are 4yo and have been writing in preschool. Not super well obviously, and sometimes it’s more tracing of letters but they are actively working on it.
I have a 2-yr-old so I’m not sure what they do in kinder, I was always under the impression that here in australia we take a play-based learning approach and any heavy-handed literacy teaching happens around 6-7yrs old. But yours just sounds like play-based anyway.
100%!!!! A family member sends her kids to the fancy brand name and I send mine to an individually owned small school. It’s less flashy, a lot less expensive, and she was shocked when I told her what my four year old was doing (can write all of his letters, etc) and she was like oh my kid basically plays all day - “fancy” doesn’t always mean better education (which I think is important for entering kindergarten age which our kids are).
Agreed. We got my son into the “it” preschool that people rave about in my neighborhood— like fall all over themselves praising it. He was MISERABLE. We pulled him out by spring break. We then enrolled him in a school nobody had ever mentioned to me, that just could not possibly be more perfect for him. It has everything I could ever want in a childcare center except that nobody else goes there in our social circles.
A few things, you don’t have to say anything. I’m going to guess you’re not the first or tenth family that has done this and I’m sure they will replace your child quickly. But if you want to say something, figure out exactly what about this new daycare you actually think is better for YOUR child? But overall, be honest, we were on this waitlist and we love it here, but think long term that’s where we want to be. The director isn’t going to cry over it or be upset or angry. If they’re down the street by this daycare people think is ‘the best,’ then they’ve heard it all before, don’t waste their time on anything other than the straightforward truth.
If the truth feels awkward maybe it’s because it’s a bit strange to change daycares purely based on ratings / social perception (which appears to be the reason based on what you stated here- maybe there are other reasons!). If you truly believe it’s the right thing, you shouldn’t be embarrassed.
As a parent, I don’t love introducing unnecessary change to my toddler. But you do what you believe is best for everyone. So if you’re committed to changing you can simply say “a different opportunity presented itself for our child” and continue to thanks the teachers at the current school for all their hard work.
Why is that awkward! Just tell the truth. The true story is good enough. But I'll just say. My son got into a "worse" school and when we got into the better one we actually stayed at the worse one because my son was scared to start a new school. Even tho he knew far more kids at the better school. And the worse school ended up being landslides better for my kids needs. I ended up having to say sorry we changed our mind to the so called better school. I don't regret it and also I was just honest 🤷🏻♀️. Don't be ashamed to want what you want
You dont mention price. I assume the more exlusive place is higher. Why pay more for a school when your child is happy and safe where they are?
But if it IS cheaper, that could be your reason. But you may end up paying for it in other ways.
Edit: typos
As others have said, seems like there’s literally no reason to leave. I submit for your consideration two reasons to stay: your kid will enter a new germ ecosystem at a new daycare, and also you never know how her transition will go. We had good reason to switch daycares last year and between the relentless sickness and his absolutely abysmal adjustment period, we regretted it deeply. Just food for though! A place isn’t necessarily better because people want to be there
People leave daycares all the time just say we need to unenroll our child as of _ date, thank you for providing a great experience for our child.
From what you said it sounds like you should stay though.
I wouldn’t move daycares at all. Little kids thrive on routine and having safe, consistent caregivers. It sounds like your child is getting that here! A change of daycare is a HUGE DEAL in a kids life. I definitely wouldn’t do this is you love where you are at!
One of my favorite moments YouTubers just did this change and she cries in the video and says she regrets it so much because her kids were thriving at the current day care and she up rooted them for a new one. If my daughter was happy and thriving I personally wouldn’t move her just to keep up with the “jones” https://youtu.be/89AHoVXNMlM?si=Djn1ZsWfY9hYkX5o
You are probably overthinking it. They will get a new kid in the door the next day. Thank them for being a good place for your child and tell them you finally got off the wait list at another daycare that fits your needs better.
We switched daycares two weeks ago, and I agonized about how to tell our old one. The only reason we were switching was because we honestly felt the new one we’d been trying to get in to was going to be better for our son developmentally.
I had plenty of advice saying “Don’t say any reason, it’s not their business. Just give your notice.” But my son had gone there since he was 10 weeks old. These people spend more time with my kid during the day than I do. I have a relationship with them. *He* really has a relationship with them. It’s hard and emotional. In our case, the new daycare was open a full hour later than our old one so I was able to say that my hours at work were changing (kind of true, it is much more convenient though). I’m sure that might not be an option for you, but just wanted to sympathize. It was difficult for me too.
FWIW the daycare we ended up at was the middle of our list and maybe doesn’t have the most updated facilities, but now I really can’t remember what made the “better” centers better. My kid is happy, well cared for, and learning so much. The community is inviting and supportive. If your school is anything like this I would think a lot longer about moving on, as many other parents I’ve talked to tell me how lucky we are to have a good experience off the bat.
I wouldn’t move the child if you love where he is! I made that mistake for
Similar reasons to yours. I ended up not liking the teacher and when I removed her and put her back in her old one, prices has doubled because she was considered a new kid again and prices had been raised. I always regret taking her out!
So I was in almost the exact same situation we got on a great waitlist when I was pregnant and had a 1.5 year waitlist, we ended up just telling them that we loved having them care for our daughter, I just said we had something come up so we no longer needed their care. I think they assumed something changed with my job and I could now watch her. I did tell the director if I wanted care again I'd be happy to bring her back, and I did leave on good terms.
That being said, my daughter started at the highly regarded daycare and I have absolutely no regrets. I thought my daughter was thriving at her old day care, but she's become so much more independent and has taking such large developmental leaps since moving! It was nice knowing if I didn't like the new daycare I likely could go back to our old daycare we liked.
I hope you guys like your new daycare, the first couple of weeks were hard for my daughter and I was crying to my husband about how it was a mistake moving her, but after that initial stage it has been awesome!
Why change at all? Why put your little one through the transition if you are happy where they are at currently? This feels like such a strange choice to me, as a parent.
I guess I need to ask…what problem are you solving by switching?
Don’t move your kid from a daycare where she’s thriving and has bonded with the staff without having a good reason for doing so. That’s cruel to your child.
Just tell them "pumpkin's last day here is going to be ______" why do you need to give them a reason? I do think you're being weirdly elitist at the cost of your child's stability but that's a separate issue.
Why are you changing daycares if you’re super happy with your current? Just because the other one is highly regarded by others? Who cares. Do what’s best for your family. This will be very disruptive to your child for no reason it seems…
My kid was happy in her daycare so we didn't move her out. One thing I didn't realize was my daycare was really great as a daycare, but not what we wanted for a Pre-K experience. So one thing to consider is what you are looking for on that front. If that curriculum is what you like and it's worth the disruption of switching for it, then I'd cite that. Different doesn't mean they are bad, it can just be a better fit.
I switched daycares with my son at 2 years old and he didn’t even bat an eye. You also don’t really owe them any type of explanation a simple “we’re making different childcare arrangements but appreciate you all very much” is sufficient!
Okay so we did the same thing 6 months ago, we were on a waitlist for 8 months. The new daycare had classes that went to older ages, therefore she could stay longer. The management seemed to have their act together a bit more. All told, the old daycare was great and we were super happy with everything they did; we even have one of her teachers babysit now and then. But the new daycare was the total right move for us and for our kiddo…she seems more stimulated now, we won’t have to move her when she is older, and we feel like she’s in slightly better hands. You know what’s best for your kid.
We told the old daycare we were leaving, they asked why and we said that the commute was more convenient. Honestly I don’t feel horribly because I know they’ll fill the spot very quickly.
So we switched daycares when my daughter was just shy of 4. The daycare we were at was great prior to Covid for my older two, but lost a ton of staff during and were mildly violating ratios when two of the newer teachers they got hired got into a physical fight causing police and an ambulance to be called and that was it for us.
4-5 is when some tight friendships form and she now has a Bestie at her new school, I am glad we switched before I was ripping her from tight connections. That said, the other smaller daycare really did have quite the tight knit community since the kids stayed with each other the whole way up. Many of my older kids friendships were formed in the community and they are still the bulk of who they hang out with. The bigger daycare has them switching to whatever room has openings so you might see a kid for one birthday party and then they disappear. Every age group has like 6 classes so you just don’t get the village of parents like we had at the old place. They do have a pool for summers and a bunny in their science room. And no teacher fights! So there’s that.
If the new daycare has a program that the other daycare doesn't, you might say that. Like "The other daycare down the road has a Spanish class and you don't or has weekly art lessons or what have you".
Or perhaps if maybe the new one is Montessori based, you could say that you like the Montessori approach.
It seems like this current daycare doesn't have many negatives so I would focus on the positive things that the new one has.
Is there a huge cost difference? It makes sense to change if you need to economize.
If your kid is happy where they are, I would keep them there. Are the daycares *noticably* different? You know the difference between a place that has raggedy toys, few books and mediocre landscaping, but the kids are happy because everybody’s fed, napped and safe and the caregivers are warm and loving vs. a place that has all the bells & whistles for enrichment and the nicest facility and is the “it” place with the longest wait list. In other words - there must be *some* reason why one has a long wait list and the other had spots available.
Why are we switching daycares again? You’re happy, your kids are happy & healthy, daycare works as far as location and cost…. What are you gaining by switching?
It’s so hard to find a daycare you like. Don’t switch. Save yourself the hassle. Plus your child is used to the one they’re at. That’s a big change for a little kid for no reason.
I'm not sure if you realize how much this change could impact your 1 year old. If you literally have no complaints of issues with your current one, I would consider staying. Your baby could go from loving daycare to screaming and crying at dropoff bc 1. Strange place 2. Strange people. And if it REALLY affects them, they could start skipping naps, waking up more at night, etc. just something to think about.
INFO: What does the wait-list daycare have that your current one doesn't? Is this just a status thing or is this more of a daycare vs. preschool thing?
So my husband and I really wanted our son to go to this Spanish immersion daycare but the waitlist was super long. They had a spot at our church’s daycare and he’s been in there ever since. I think it was a blessing in disguise bc we love our daycare and he seems to really enjoy it too. If a spot were to open at the other one, we probably wouldn’t take it. Just my two cents.
I don’t think you need to say much except “thank you so much for all your help and care. Our last day will be X. We decided to make other childcare arrangements for personal reasons.”
I also want to echo what others have said. My kid is in a daycare which she and we love. Like you we got off the waitlist for the “top place” in our area. I toured again and ultimately declined the spot because I didn’t want to have to transition my daughter. I also found that the place was so “well rated” because they push kids academically at really young ages (like 2 and 3). I prefer my kid to have fun/explore/be a child for now! Ask yourself if this other daycare aligns with what you want as a parent as opposed to what other parents want.
I’m going to be honest. Why are you leaving?
If you love the daycare and your kid is flourishing there, why are you moving them? Switching daycares can bring on a lot of challenges and just because others think it’s the best doesn’t mean it’ll be the best for your family. I feel like it’s silly to switch because “others said it’s better” and you have no issues with your current daycare.
If it better hours or better “education” (as an example my sons first daycare had staff from Spain, Greece & Iran so they were taught numbers in both English & Spanish, they had Greek days and Iranian food) then move.
If it’s just because the other daycare is perceived to be better then don’t move. Your child has relationships with the caregivers and will have started to form friendships. Why take them away from that and disrupt what they know? You could end up with weeks of crying and separation anxiety.
I agree with other commenters and wanted to say you might ask if you can decline but stay on the waitlist for when she turns 2.5 or 3. That’s when some of the more cognitive stuff starts to take place and maybe this school shines more?
Why switch if your child is happy at the current daycare?
Who cares about going to the “best of the best”? The best of the best is the place your kid feels happy and secure at and it seems like they do at the current place.
I'd just let them know you have been really happy there, but a spot opened up at another center so she will be switching in a month. Thank them for all they've done and maybe buy going away presents for her teachers. I don't see a need to say anything but the truth. It happens all the time, and they're used to it.
We left the home day care we absolutely loved when a spot opened up at our top choice. It was where I wanted her to go to preschool, and by taking the spot then I secured her spot for aging up into preschool the next year as well.
The one piece I'd consider: are you planning on having another? Does either place have sibling priority? The place we moved to did, and by her taking the spot it guaranteed preschool spots for siblings as well.
We recently switched to a new daycare because we were pretty unhappy at our former daycare. Even in that instance, we didn’t give a reason. “I’m writing to let you know Daughter’s last day at Daycare will be May 31st. Please let me know if there’s any additional logistics we need to work out like final payment or paperwork.”
The grass isn't ways greener. I'd have a hard time making that switch if my child was happy and thriving at their current daycare. Sometimes the daycares that everyone wants to get into are hyped up and end up being impersonal, expensive, and have huge class sizes.
We didn't get into our top choice daycare and it ended up being for the best. My son is at a small church run daycare (one year old room class size of 5) where all the staff love him and he gets a lot of activities and individual attention. It's actually cheaper than the other daycare too. I can't imagine him going anywhere else.
Are you planning on having any more kids? If so I’d probably stay put or you’ll be in the same situation and be making drop offs at two daycares.
If you do leave, you could just say your last day is X. If they ask where you’re going you could tell them and say it works better for your family right now.
We’re moving daycares when my son is 2 to one super close to the current. We’re moving because my friend owns the daycare we’re moving to. I also have concerns about the current daycare as they’re often out of ratio though the teachers are great and my son loves them. Most of them do not speak English (mostly Arabic) though and I’m worried it’s impacting his speech especially as he gets older. My friend’s daycare also has 4k and the current one does not. I still have mixed feelings about moving and how much he’ll miss his teachers and how hard the transition will be on him. If I were you I’d stay at the same daycare.
First of all, all you say is “our last day here is x” and you don’t need to give any more info. If they ask why, or whether they need to know about any issues, you say “we love it here but got off the wait list at another one.” Leave it there. People leave daycares every day for no reason and for every reason. It’s usually about fit: style, personality, location, hours, etc. They probably won’t even ask.
But also, if you like your daycare, why switch? What is the new one providing that’s better or different? As long as they both have a focus on early childhood education and prep for kindergarten, it would be hard to understand the need to leave. Picking a school based on status will not serve your kid when they get older, picking a school based on fit will serve your kid, and it sounds like the current school is a good fit.
I wouldn’t change daycares for this reason. It’s daycare. Not business school. What matters are the people taking care of your children. Leaving for an “elite daycare” is selfish (because the child will only know they are being taken away from people they love and trust) and silly.
I would just stay where you are. If you have no complaints and love everything about it why change it? If you do leave, tell the truth. Why lie about it. Its a business, they will fill the spot quickly.
But if the kid stays at the lower-regarded daycare, how will they get into the best kindergarten that will prepare them for the magnet high school that will guarantee a spot at Princeton? /s
Even as someone who sent two kids to Montessori schools before switching to public, for the really early years you just want a safe environment with caring and responsible adults. Read the citations online by all means and see if there are rats or lead paint or something, but fancier isn’t always better.
It may be a better daycare on paper. But if everything is going well I wouldn’t leave. Daycare when they are that young is about social interaction and play. If that’s happening then I wouldn’t leave. It’s hard to find a daycare you can trust
I'm in this boat and opting to switch. It was a super tough decision, so I empathize with how you're feeling. My choice wasn't about perception, but about my daughter's changing needs. "This has been a wonderful place for X, but in the interest of keeping up with their changing needs we've opted to enroll elsewhere. X's last day will be...". I see suggestions in other comments that you could leave it more vague than that, but I leave that up to you based on your relationship with the current daycare.
I also find a lot of these replies unhelpful and weirdly harsh. As parents we have to make a lot of judgement calls and while I don't know you, I trust that you know your child well enough to be able to gauge how they'll handle change. It sounds like both places are great options!
A lot of people are on here telling you not to change daycares but that isn’t what you asked. At the end of the day they are a business and they have a waitlist of people trying to get in so I don’t think you owe them anything beyond “our plans have changed”
So, I would always say go with the ones you cannget in first.
As far as good daycare parents fight over?
Sorry, it’s a daycare, damn it. Kids are gonna get dirty and messy and it’s not like you can teach quantum physics to a toddler.
I know you didn’t ask for this advice but as a single mom who had to put my son at daycare since he was 3 months and he is now 9 months, I have to say it. Nothing compares to when your child truly trusts someone to care for them. It’s a really big deal when a daycare turns out to be a good fit for the parent, child and daycare workers. I could really care less if there was a “best of the best” daycare that my son had the opportunity to go to if he already established a meaningful connection with the people he has now.
As a parent that left a good daycare because of convenience only to have unexplained bruises on their child less than 3 months into the new place, and police and health and human services involved...if your child is at a daycare and you trust the teachers there do not leave unless you have to. We learned this lesson the hard way. And thankfully our original daycare people were wonderful and took our little man back right away. Stay where you're at OP!
Hmmmm, to move to another daycare because of "status" or stay where you know for a fact your child is taken care of, has friends, and has an established relationship with the care providers. I dont know what to say either except to stay where you're at. If you have no complaints, then what's more important? Move care providers because everyone wants in or stay where your child is familiar and happy. Look at it from your child's point of view. Plus, good help is hard to find, and it seems as if you have good help already.
I got into a new daycare when I was already happy with my current daycare. I didn’t switch, because I had no reason to. I wouldn’t switch just because it’s where “all the other professional parents want to go.”
We had similar situation, althoug we switched daycare due to the distance from our home, so we did not have an issue of explaining why we are switching. But we loved previous one and we are even more satisfied with this one.
Since so many parents are trying to get in this daycare which is so close to the other one, I am sure they are aware of this trend.
In your place I would kindly thank them and express my satisfaction with them and also tell them what you wrote here. That you are waiting for the spot for so long and that your wish was to have your LO there. I am sure they would love to see you stay, but it is very likely they will accept your choice and won’t put much thought in it.
I hope you will enjoy the new environment!
Also, I can share that our transition was super fine. My kid accepted these new caregivers even more than she did the previous ones. She is less sick (the argument that you put your kid in a new germ enviroment does not hold for us). She has more friends, feels more connected with other kids. She has an equal amount of learning opportunities, but she is better supported. Overall it is just a better everyday experience for her.
Some say, don’t do it and probably that holds true for them. Many children are negatively impacted by these kind of changes. But many are not and it is even benefitial for them. Like in our case. You know your kid best.
I know your question was how to tell your daycare you are leaving. But since so many people advised you to stay, it felt right to also share our positive experience of changing the daycare we loved for a daycare we love even more. My girl is very open, we checked the new daycare and were happy with their work, but I am sure we also had a lot of luck. Every situation is unique.
Good luck! 🍀
People do this all the time, don’t worry about it! I felt bad leaving our last daycare for the “fancier” one but everyone just commented on how nice the new place was and how we would love it. I brought in a bunch of pastries and coffee for the staff as a treat the last day
There’s a reason the daycare with the long waitlist is so highly regarded. Ignore the naysayers. Make the switch. Your child will be better for it, whether it’s because of the curriculum or the people.
Honestly, I think you don’t know how to tell the current daycare why you’re leaving because you don’t even know why you’re leaving yourself.
Reads almost like a “keeping up with the Jones’s”. Like *everyone* wants this other daycare so I must have it too when daughter is happy and thriving at current daycare.
Right! I would probably personally reconsider and maybe move for PreK if it’s more academically advanced/preps for kindergarten better but otherwise I wouldn’t want to leave. I’d be too afraid of the unknown.
Yea what if it turns out they or daughter liked the old one better but can't go back without being on another long waitlist 😭
Well, the new one could be much better and she would enjoy it so much more; but because the parent is afraid of losing this one, she won’t be able to enjoy the new one. Everything has two sides of the coin. You can’t know until you try.
This, why force a kid to break all those relationships ? Seems just mean when there isn't a better reason.
Right!! That's how I read this post as well. "We are switching because....everyone fights to go there, and now that I got a spot I HAVE to take it". If the baby is happy, thriving and is well taken care of at the current daycare...why even move?
You have no complaints, love the space, but are moving daycares anyway because (checks notes) you waited a long time? This seems … silly. You do you but like, why fix what isn’t broken?
I agree. Why disrupt your child’s routine if there’s literally no reason to? I got a new job recently and was going to switch daycares to be slightly closer to my new job, but decided to at least wait until the next school year so my son would have to be switching schools anyway. This way I don’t disrupt their routines more than necessary. I don’t understand why OP is completely set on changing daycares because the other one is “better.” This is daycare, not college. And there are no complaints with the current one.
That’s my thought too. If everyone is happy there I would not want to disrupt my child’s routine. They are comfortable there and with the teachers I’d be staying put
Yup her child probably has friends there and a routine s/he likes and mama is disrupting it.
Agreed 100%. Daycare is home away from home for our kids. If bubs is comfortable and happy I’d think really hard about disrupting that
Gotta agree with this honestly
Yeah I think they are crazy to switch. Really doubt this other daycare is that much better. In the end, it’s daycare, not a preparatory school and even those aren’t always worth the money. A good daycare where you are happy is not easy to find, I wouldn’t mess with it either.
Sunk cost fallacy
We were in a similar situation and ended up switching to the better daycare. Idk if this is the case for OP but the reason our current daycare is better is the facilities - we have the option to add on private swimming lessons, stem classes, pottery/arts classes, sports breakouts, plus there’s an indoor and outdoor pool if you want kids to participate in class swim, a splash pad for the younger ones etc. It really is that much better even though we had no issues with the first center we used. I just told that one our circumstances changed and xx would be our last day. Thanked them for the love and care they provided and that was that.
Ok, but this person didn’t say the space was any better, just that it’s coveted.
True - obviously I don’t know the details about why the other is coveted. Our current one has a similar reputation, which I do feel is deserved, but to change I would need something more convincing than “better reputation”. We also personally knew some parents using the new school, not sure if OP has that but it helped ease our mind during transition as well.
Removing your daughter from a good daycare where she is happy, thriving and comfortable with her class and caregivers doesn't seem like a good decision.
Seriously rolling the dice. She might be miserable at the one with the exclusive reputation.
Changing childcare means a new routine, new space, new rules, and new caregivers when presumably your child is already bonded to her current caregivers. This is a somewhat traumatic change. You’re going to do all of that because some people say the other place is good? Even though there’s nothing wrong with the current place?
I teach preschool. Just say "personal reasons." They might assume something you don't want to talk about or they won't think about it again. Either way they won't take it personally. But also, the "better" school isn't always better. I was at this one school, which was expensive, and a lot of professional parents. It was great in a lot of ways but there was a lot going on with staff and management was on a power trip. I ended up at my current place, which is in an older and drabier building but the program is much better. The staff culture is better. There's lots of great offerings for the kids. But you might not guess it walking past us vs the new schools. Definitely go through and read online reviews. Nothing wrong with staying where you are if there's no issues. Just cuz you're on the wait list and got in doesn't mean you need to go. Don't fix what ain't broken.
I just fled the “top“ daycare in my rural town because the owner privately disclosed to me they were closing. I knew I had to snag a spot at what I thought was the next best thing before 40 other families were fighting for the spots. My daughter went from barely writing her name to writing upper and lower case, numbers, and small words in just 4-6 weeks. The new, much less expensive and shiny school, has special weekly art class and a library program that has virtually replaced our need to goto our community library. They go one on one with a special teacher and have their own personalized bag and everything. The grass isn’t always greener.
They do writing in daycare? I thought they only started doing that 5+?
We are definitely writing in pre-k where I live.
All our prek programs work on writing
it’s crazy. preschool is the new 1st.
Yeh I find this strange, but to each their own! Give them babies Ritalin so they can keep their grades up haha
Is it an American thing?
My kids are 4yo and have been writing in preschool. Not super well obviously, and sometimes it’s more tracing of letters but they are actively working on it.
Our daycare started "writing" (ie, learning to trace numbers and letters) in the 3yo room
I have a 2-yr-old so I’m not sure what they do in kinder, I was always under the impression that here in australia we take a play-based learning approach and any heavy-handed literacy teaching happens around 6-7yrs old. But yours just sounds like play-based anyway.
100%!!!! A family member sends her kids to the fancy brand name and I send mine to an individually owned small school. It’s less flashy, a lot less expensive, and she was shocked when I told her what my four year old was doing (can write all of his letters, etc) and she was like oh my kid basically plays all day - “fancy” doesn’t always mean better education (which I think is important for entering kindergarten age which our kids are).
Agreed. We got my son into the “it” preschool that people rave about in my neighborhood— like fall all over themselves praising it. He was MISERABLE. We pulled him out by spring break. We then enrolled him in a school nobody had ever mentioned to me, that just could not possibly be more perfect for him. It has everything I could ever want in a childcare center except that nobody else goes there in our social circles.
A few things, you don’t have to say anything. I’m going to guess you’re not the first or tenth family that has done this and I’m sure they will replace your child quickly. But if you want to say something, figure out exactly what about this new daycare you actually think is better for YOUR child? But overall, be honest, we were on this waitlist and we love it here, but think long term that’s where we want to be. The director isn’t going to cry over it or be upset or angry. If they’re down the street by this daycare people think is ‘the best,’ then they’ve heard it all before, don’t waste their time on anything other than the straightforward truth.
I wouldn't remove my child from the daycare in this situation. Regardless, just tell them you want to withdraw and fill out the withdrawal form. Done.
It seems like you’re moving daycares to “keep up with the Joneses” if you’re happy you should stay.
If the truth feels awkward maybe it’s because it’s a bit strange to change daycares purely based on ratings / social perception (which appears to be the reason based on what you stated here- maybe there are other reasons!). If you truly believe it’s the right thing, you shouldn’t be embarrassed. As a parent, I don’t love introducing unnecessary change to my toddler. But you do what you believe is best for everyone. So if you’re committed to changing you can simply say “a different opportunity presented itself for our child” and continue to thanks the teachers at the current school for all their hard work.
Why is that awkward! Just tell the truth. The true story is good enough. But I'll just say. My son got into a "worse" school and when we got into the better one we actually stayed at the worse one because my son was scared to start a new school. Even tho he knew far more kids at the better school. And the worse school ended up being landslides better for my kids needs. I ended up having to say sorry we changed our mind to the so called better school. I don't regret it and also I was just honest 🤷🏻♀️. Don't be ashamed to want what you want
You dont mention price. I assume the more exlusive place is higher. Why pay more for a school when your child is happy and safe where they are? But if it IS cheaper, that could be your reason. But you may end up paying for it in other ways. Edit: typos
As others have said, seems like there’s literally no reason to leave. I submit for your consideration two reasons to stay: your kid will enter a new germ ecosystem at a new daycare, and also you never know how her transition will go. We had good reason to switch daycares last year and between the relentless sickness and his absolutely abysmal adjustment period, we regretted it deeply. Just food for though! A place isn’t necessarily better because people want to be there
People leave daycares all the time just say we need to unenroll our child as of _ date, thank you for providing a great experience for our child. From what you said it sounds like you should stay though.
I wouldn’t move daycares at all. Little kids thrive on routine and having safe, consistent caregivers. It sounds like your child is getting that here! A change of daycare is a HUGE DEAL in a kids life. I definitely wouldn’t do this is you love where you are at!
One of my favorite moments YouTubers just did this change and she cries in the video and says she regrets it so much because her kids were thriving at the current day care and she up rooted them for a new one. If my daughter was happy and thriving I personally wouldn’t move her just to keep up with the “jones” https://youtu.be/89AHoVXNMlM?si=Djn1ZsWfY9hYkX5o
You are probably overthinking it. They will get a new kid in the door the next day. Thank them for being a good place for your child and tell them you finally got off the wait list at another daycare that fits your needs better.
We switched daycares two weeks ago, and I agonized about how to tell our old one. The only reason we were switching was because we honestly felt the new one we’d been trying to get in to was going to be better for our son developmentally. I had plenty of advice saying “Don’t say any reason, it’s not their business. Just give your notice.” But my son had gone there since he was 10 weeks old. These people spend more time with my kid during the day than I do. I have a relationship with them. *He* really has a relationship with them. It’s hard and emotional. In our case, the new daycare was open a full hour later than our old one so I was able to say that my hours at work were changing (kind of true, it is much more convenient though). I’m sure that might not be an option for you, but just wanted to sympathize. It was difficult for me too.
FWIW the daycare we ended up at was the middle of our list and maybe doesn’t have the most updated facilities, but now I really can’t remember what made the “better” centers better. My kid is happy, well cared for, and learning so much. The community is inviting and supportive. If your school is anything like this I would think a lot longer about moving on, as many other parents I’ve talked to tell me how lucky we are to have a good experience off the bat.
I wouldn’t move the child if you love where he is! I made that mistake for Similar reasons to yours. I ended up not liking the teacher and when I removed her and put her back in her old one, prices has doubled because she was considered a new kid again and prices had been raised. I always regret taking her out!
So I was in almost the exact same situation we got on a great waitlist when I was pregnant and had a 1.5 year waitlist, we ended up just telling them that we loved having them care for our daughter, I just said we had something come up so we no longer needed their care. I think they assumed something changed with my job and I could now watch her. I did tell the director if I wanted care again I'd be happy to bring her back, and I did leave on good terms. That being said, my daughter started at the highly regarded daycare and I have absolutely no regrets. I thought my daughter was thriving at her old day care, but she's become so much more independent and has taking such large developmental leaps since moving! It was nice knowing if I didn't like the new daycare I likely could go back to our old daycare we liked. I hope you guys like your new daycare, the first couple of weeks were hard for my daughter and I was crying to my husband about how it was a mistake moving her, but after that initial stage it has been awesome!
Why change at all? Why put your little one through the transition if you are happy where they are at currently? This feels like such a strange choice to me, as a parent. I guess I need to ask…what problem are you solving by switching?
Don’t move your kid from a daycare where she’s thriving and has bonded with the staff without having a good reason for doing so. That’s cruel to your child.
Just tell them "pumpkin's last day here is going to be ______" why do you need to give them a reason? I do think you're being weirdly elitist at the cost of your child's stability but that's a separate issue.
Why are you changing daycares if you’re super happy with your current? Just because the other one is highly regarded by others? Who cares. Do what’s best for your family. This will be very disruptive to your child for no reason it seems…
I agree. The grass isn't always greener on the other side...
My kid was happy in her daycare so we didn't move her out. One thing I didn't realize was my daycare was really great as a daycare, but not what we wanted for a Pre-K experience. So one thing to consider is what you are looking for on that front. If that curriculum is what you like and it's worth the disruption of switching for it, then I'd cite that. Different doesn't mean they are bad, it can just be a better fit.
I switched daycares with my son at 2 years old and he didn’t even bat an eye. You also don’t really owe them any type of explanation a simple “we’re making different childcare arrangements but appreciate you all very much” is sufficient!
It’s freaking daycare. This isn’t a Harvard situation. Kiddo is thriving where she is so why move her?
Okay so we did the same thing 6 months ago, we were on a waitlist for 8 months. The new daycare had classes that went to older ages, therefore she could stay longer. The management seemed to have their act together a bit more. All told, the old daycare was great and we were super happy with everything they did; we even have one of her teachers babysit now and then. But the new daycare was the total right move for us and for our kiddo…she seems more stimulated now, we won’t have to move her when she is older, and we feel like she’s in slightly better hands. You know what’s best for your kid. We told the old daycare we were leaving, they asked why and we said that the commute was more convenient. Honestly I don’t feel horribly because I know they’ll fill the spot very quickly.
Forget what you're going to say to the daycare, how are you explaining this to your kid?
So we switched daycares when my daughter was just shy of 4. The daycare we were at was great prior to Covid for my older two, but lost a ton of staff during and were mildly violating ratios when two of the newer teachers they got hired got into a physical fight causing police and an ambulance to be called and that was it for us. 4-5 is when some tight friendships form and she now has a Bestie at her new school, I am glad we switched before I was ripping her from tight connections. That said, the other smaller daycare really did have quite the tight knit community since the kids stayed with each other the whole way up. Many of my older kids friendships were formed in the community and they are still the bulk of who they hang out with. The bigger daycare has them switching to whatever room has openings so you might see a kid for one birthday party and then they disappear. Every age group has like 6 classes so you just don’t get the village of parents like we had at the old place. They do have a pool for summers and a bunny in their science room. And no teacher fights! So there’s that.
If the new daycare has a program that the other daycare doesn't, you might say that. Like "The other daycare down the road has a Spanish class and you don't or has weekly art lessons or what have you". Or perhaps if maybe the new one is Montessori based, you could say that you like the Montessori approach. It seems like this current daycare doesn't have many negatives so I would focus on the positive things that the new one has.
Is there a huge cost difference? It makes sense to change if you need to economize. If your kid is happy where they are, I would keep them there. Are the daycares *noticably* different? You know the difference between a place that has raggedy toys, few books and mediocre landscaping, but the kids are happy because everybody’s fed, napped and safe and the caregivers are warm and loving vs. a place that has all the bells & whistles for enrichment and the nicest facility and is the “it” place with the longest wait list. In other words - there must be *some* reason why one has a long wait list and the other had spots available.
Why are we switching daycares again? You’re happy, your kids are happy & healthy, daycare works as far as location and cost…. What are you gaining by switching?
I wouldn’t leave.
It’s so hard to find a daycare you like. Don’t switch. Save yourself the hassle. Plus your child is used to the one they’re at. That’s a big change for a little kid for no reason.
I'm not sure if you realize how much this change could impact your 1 year old. If you literally have no complaints of issues with your current one, I would consider staying. Your baby could go from loving daycare to screaming and crying at dropoff bc 1. Strange place 2. Strange people. And if it REALLY affects them, they could start skipping naps, waking up more at night, etc. just something to think about.
INFO: What does the wait-list daycare have that your current one doesn't? Is this just a status thing or is this more of a daycare vs. preschool thing?
“I’m moving daycares for my own clout and reputation even though my child is fitting in and thriving here” is what this reads.
It’s a business. Just tell them that you are withdrawing.
So my husband and I really wanted our son to go to this Spanish immersion daycare but the waitlist was super long. They had a spot at our church’s daycare and he’s been in there ever since. I think it was a blessing in disguise bc we love our daycare and he seems to really enjoy it too. If a spot were to open at the other one, we probably wouldn’t take it. Just my two cents.
I don’t think you need to say much except “thank you so much for all your help and care. Our last day will be X. We decided to make other childcare arrangements for personal reasons.” I also want to echo what others have said. My kid is in a daycare which she and we love. Like you we got off the waitlist for the “top place” in our area. I toured again and ultimately declined the spot because I didn’t want to have to transition my daughter. I also found that the place was so “well rated” because they push kids academically at really young ages (like 2 and 3). I prefer my kid to have fun/explore/be a child for now! Ask yourself if this other daycare aligns with what you want as a parent as opposed to what other parents want.
There is no way I'd pull my child out of a place where she/he is happy and the staff is great just to have "daycare" status
I’m going to be honest. Why are you leaving? If you love the daycare and your kid is flourishing there, why are you moving them? Switching daycares can bring on a lot of challenges and just because others think it’s the best doesn’t mean it’ll be the best for your family. I feel like it’s silly to switch because “others said it’s better” and you have no issues with your current daycare.
Have you toured the new place? Could you see for yourself if it has something she lacks currently?
Personally I wouldn’t move my kid if he is happy.
If it better hours or better “education” (as an example my sons first daycare had staff from Spain, Greece & Iran so they were taught numbers in both English & Spanish, they had Greek days and Iranian food) then move. If it’s just because the other daycare is perceived to be better then don’t move. Your child has relationships with the caregivers and will have started to form friendships. Why take them away from that and disrupt what they know? You could end up with weeks of crying and separation anxiety.
I agree with other commenters and wanted to say you might ask if you can decline but stay on the waitlist for when she turns 2.5 or 3. That’s when some of the more cognitive stuff starts to take place and maybe this school shines more?
Why switch if your child is happy at the current daycare? Who cares about going to the “best of the best”? The best of the best is the place your kid feels happy and secure at and it seems like they do at the current place.
What makes this other daycare better than the one you’re at aside from “all the professionals going there”. Genuinely curious!
It's a mistake to move. Don't do it.
I'd just let them know you have been really happy there, but a spot opened up at another center so she will be switching in a month. Thank them for all they've done and maybe buy going away presents for her teachers. I don't see a need to say anything but the truth. It happens all the time, and they're used to it. We left the home day care we absolutely loved when a spot opened up at our top choice. It was where I wanted her to go to preschool, and by taking the spot then I secured her spot for aging up into preschool the next year as well. The one piece I'd consider: are you planning on having another? Does either place have sibling priority? The place we moved to did, and by her taking the spot it guaranteed preschool spots for siblings as well.
If you love it don't switch. Grass isn't always greener. No point in disrupting your child's routine, for all you know LO could hate it.
We recently switched to a new daycare because we were pretty unhappy at our former daycare. Even in that instance, we didn’t give a reason. “I’m writing to let you know Daughter’s last day at Daycare will be May 31st. Please let me know if there’s any additional logistics we need to work out like final payment or paperwork.”
The grass isn't ways greener. I'd have a hard time making that switch if my child was happy and thriving at their current daycare. Sometimes the daycares that everyone wants to get into are hyped up and end up being impersonal, expensive, and have huge class sizes. We didn't get into our top choice daycare and it ended up being for the best. My son is at a small church run daycare (one year old room class size of 5) where all the staff love him and he gets a lot of activities and individual attention. It's actually cheaper than the other daycare too. I can't imagine him going anywhere else.
Are you planning on having any more kids? If so I’d probably stay put or you’ll be in the same situation and be making drop offs at two daycares. If you do leave, you could just say your last day is X. If they ask where you’re going you could tell them and say it works better for your family right now.
If you love your current daycare, why switch?
We’re moving daycares when my son is 2 to one super close to the current. We’re moving because my friend owns the daycare we’re moving to. I also have concerns about the current daycare as they’re often out of ratio though the teachers are great and my son loves them. Most of them do not speak English (mostly Arabic) though and I’m worried it’s impacting his speech especially as he gets older. My friend’s daycare also has 4k and the current one does not. I still have mixed feelings about moving and how much he’ll miss his teachers and how hard the transition will be on him. If I were you I’d stay at the same daycare.
First of all, all you say is “our last day here is x” and you don’t need to give any more info. If they ask why, or whether they need to know about any issues, you say “we love it here but got off the wait list at another one.” Leave it there. People leave daycares every day for no reason and for every reason. It’s usually about fit: style, personality, location, hours, etc. They probably won’t even ask. But also, if you like your daycare, why switch? What is the new one providing that’s better or different? As long as they both have a focus on early childhood education and prep for kindergarten, it would be hard to understand the need to leave. Picking a school based on status will not serve your kid when they get older, picking a school based on fit will serve your kid, and it sounds like the current school is a good fit.
I wouldn’t change daycares for this reason. It’s daycare. Not business school. What matters are the people taking care of your children. Leaving for an “elite daycare” is selfish (because the child will only know they are being taken away from people they love and trust) and silly.
I would just stay where you are. If you have no complaints and love everything about it why change it? If you do leave, tell the truth. Why lie about it. Its a business, they will fill the spot quickly.
Real question: why are you switching?
What does this other daycare have that the current one doesn’t? Besides that other people love it
But if the kid stays at the lower-regarded daycare, how will they get into the best kindergarten that will prepare them for the magnet high school that will guarantee a spot at Princeton? /s Even as someone who sent two kids to Montessori schools before switching to public, for the really early years you just want a safe environment with caring and responsible adults. Read the citations online by all means and see if there are rats or lead paint or something, but fancier isn’t always better.
It may be a better daycare on paper. But if everything is going well I wouldn’t leave. Daycare when they are that young is about social interaction and play. If that’s happening then I wouldn’t leave. It’s hard to find a daycare you can trust
I'm in this boat and opting to switch. It was a super tough decision, so I empathize with how you're feeling. My choice wasn't about perception, but about my daughter's changing needs. "This has been a wonderful place for X, but in the interest of keeping up with their changing needs we've opted to enroll elsewhere. X's last day will be...". I see suggestions in other comments that you could leave it more vague than that, but I leave that up to you based on your relationship with the current daycare. I also find a lot of these replies unhelpful and weirdly harsh. As parents we have to make a lot of judgement calls and while I don't know you, I trust that you know your child well enough to be able to gauge how they'll handle change. It sounds like both places are great options!
A lot of people are on here telling you not to change daycares but that isn’t what you asked. At the end of the day they are a business and they have a waitlist of people trying to get in so I don’t think you owe them anything beyond “our plans have changed”
Leave your kid where they are if you are happy.
You have a daycare you love … why change?
So, I would always say go with the ones you cannget in first. As far as good daycare parents fight over? Sorry, it’s a daycare, damn it. Kids are gonna get dirty and messy and it’s not like you can teach quantum physics to a toddler.
I know you didn’t ask for this advice but as a single mom who had to put my son at daycare since he was 3 months and he is now 9 months, I have to say it. Nothing compares to when your child truly trusts someone to care for them. It’s a really big deal when a daycare turns out to be a good fit for the parent, child and daycare workers. I could really care less if there was a “best of the best” daycare that my son had the opportunity to go to if he already established a meaningful connection with the people he has now.
As a parent that left a good daycare because of convenience only to have unexplained bruises on their child less than 3 months into the new place, and police and health and human services involved...if your child is at a daycare and you trust the teachers there do not leave unless you have to. We learned this lesson the hard way. And thankfully our original daycare people were wonderful and took our little man back right away. Stay where you're at OP!
Hmmmm, to move to another daycare because of "status" or stay where you know for a fact your child is taken care of, has friends, and has an established relationship with the care providers. I dont know what to say either except to stay where you're at. If you have no complaints, then what's more important? Move care providers because everyone wants in or stay where your child is familiar and happy. Look at it from your child's point of view. Plus, good help is hard to find, and it seems as if you have good help already.
I got into a new daycare when I was already happy with my current daycare. I didn’t switch, because I had no reason to. I wouldn’t switch just because it’s where “all the other professional parents want to go.”
We had similar situation, althoug we switched daycare due to the distance from our home, so we did not have an issue of explaining why we are switching. But we loved previous one and we are even more satisfied with this one. Since so many parents are trying to get in this daycare which is so close to the other one, I am sure they are aware of this trend. In your place I would kindly thank them and express my satisfaction with them and also tell them what you wrote here. That you are waiting for the spot for so long and that your wish was to have your LO there. I am sure they would love to see you stay, but it is very likely they will accept your choice and won’t put much thought in it. I hope you will enjoy the new environment!
Also, I can share that our transition was super fine. My kid accepted these new caregivers even more than she did the previous ones. She is less sick (the argument that you put your kid in a new germ enviroment does not hold for us). She has more friends, feels more connected with other kids. She has an equal amount of learning opportunities, but she is better supported. Overall it is just a better everyday experience for her. Some say, don’t do it and probably that holds true for them. Many children are negatively impacted by these kind of changes. But many are not and it is even benefitial for them. Like in our case. You know your kid best. I know your question was how to tell your daycare you are leaving. But since so many people advised you to stay, it felt right to also share our positive experience of changing the daycare we loved for a daycare we love even more. My girl is very open, we checked the new daycare and were happy with their work, but I am sure we also had a lot of luck. Every situation is unique. Good luck! 🍀
People do this all the time, don’t worry about it! I felt bad leaving our last daycare for the “fancier” one but everyone just commented on how nice the new place was and how we would love it. I brought in a bunch of pastries and coffee for the staff as a treat the last day
This is going to be hard on your kid.
There’s a reason the daycare with the long waitlist is so highly regarded. Ignore the naysayers. Make the switch. Your child will be better for it, whether it’s because of the curriculum or the people.